Poison Oak Is Natural But It Still Itches Like Crazy!

, , , , | Healthy | June 13, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: This story contains content of a medical nature. It is not intended as medical advice.

 

A few years ago, my wife experimented with a certain brand of mycoprotein-based products. The first time we ate some, I became ill with vomiting and stomach cramps. I foolishly assumed that these were caused by something else, but the second time we ate some, it happened again and we very quickly realised I was sensitive to mycoprotein-based products, a phenomenon which is pretty well documented.

About nine months ago, I saw a Facebook advert for this particular brand and commented, saying that while I thought this product was a great idea, regrettably, I was sensitive to mycoprotein-based products so would have to avoid eating them.

Then, I got THIS reply from a random Facebook user I don’t even know.

Stranger: “Well, you’re clearly an idiot, then. You can’t get ill from [product]. It’s natural. NATURAL PRODUCTS DON’T MAKE YOU ILL!”

I didn’t have the heart to point out to her that latex, peanuts, kiwi fruit, and eggs are all-natural and can ALL trigger serious allergic reactions.

Like I say, this phenomenon is pretty well documented, and in some cases, people have eaten mycoprotein and ended up in ICU! I’m not really sure what this woman on Facebook was thinking.

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This Lady’s Got Balls And She’ll Bowl You Right Over

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: hayden211234 | June 12, 2021

I am at the bowling alley where my brother is a manager, practicing for a bowling league I’m in. A young kid comes up to me and asks to use my bowling ball.

Me: “Sorry, kid. I don’t think you could pick it up even if I let you.”

Kid: “Aww, okay.”

Later, the kid’s mother comes up to me.

Mother: “Hey! Give my kid your bowling ball, now!”

Me: “No. It’s fourteen pounds. Your kid is like seven; he could not lift it, let alone bowl with it.”

Mother: “Too bad! Give me it, now!”

Me: “No, lady, I’m using it. I still have two more games to bowl, and when I’m done, I’m packing up my bowling balls and leaving.”

Mother: “You can’t steal them! I’m telling the manager!”

Me: “Oh, please do.”

Mother: *To my brother* “Someone is stealing four bowling balls on lane four!”

My brother remembers what lane he put me on.

Brother: “Okay, I’ll go check.” *Coming over to me* “Man, that lady’s crazy!”

Me: “I know, right?”

Mother: “Since the manager won’t do anything, give me those balls!”

Me: “No, lady. I paid for these with my money!”

Mother: “TOO BAD!”

She tried to take the balls from me and was promptly kicked out.

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And Thus The Squeegee Man From “RENT” Was Born

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: hayskee | June 11, 2021

I am at the gas station washing my car window. The local station has a uniform — a green-collared shirt with the logo and black pants — neither of which am I wearing.

Lady: *To me* “I’m next!”

I think she is talking about using the brush next, so I smiled.

Me: “Okay!”

I put the brush back in its bucket and start to walk toward the station.

Lady: “Excuse me, I said I’m next!

I turn around and glance at her, think, “Whatever,” and go inside. I pay for my gas and go to the ATM at the back of the store. As I am leaving:

Cashier: “We’ve just had a complaint about you.”

Me: “Yeah?”

Cashier: “That lady said you didn’t wash her windscreen and wants to speak to the manager; she’s coming back tomorrow.”

I just giggled and left. I’ll be going back again tomorrow to see if I can catch her.

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They’ll Let Just Anyone Move In These Days

, , , , , | Friendly | CREDIT: Look_Significant | June 8, 2021

I’m a teenager walking my dog, and I pass [Man #1], who is black, washing a Mercedes and an Audi, and [Man #2], who is white, smoking. I turn then and see what appears to be moving trucks, and I choose to go see if the new neighbors are there to introduce myself. As I do so, a car pulls up near the house and a woman gets out.

Me: “Hi! Are you moving in?”

Woman: “Hi! Yes, I just came to check on the person moving out and check on the house.”

Me: “Oh, that’s cool. Well, I’ll see you around, then!”

My dog and I do our rounds through the neighborhood and come back. I see the two men again, and the new woman. The woman spots [Man #2].

Woman: “Is smoking allowed in this neighborhood?”

Man #2: “Yes, safely on your own property.”

The woman scoffs and then turns and sees [Man #1] washing his cars. I have begun walking away at this point when I hear a screech. I turn around in terror to see the woman screaming at [Man #1].

Woman: “WHO DID YOU STEAL THOSE FROM?”

Man #1: “Nobody. I bought these with my own money.”

Woman: “NO, YOU DIDN’T! PEOPLE LIKE YOU CAN’T AFFORD THOSE CARS!”

Me: “Yes, he did. I see him washing them every day!”

Woman: “SHUT UP! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG AND NAIVE TO UNDERSTAND”

Me: “Ma’am—”

Man #2: *Cutting me off* “Would you like to call the police?”

Woman: “YES!”

I was confused, but the two men exchanged a look with each other, and I realized something was up, so I kept quiet. The cops showed up and they asked for documents and security footage, which [Man #1] happily handed over. [Man #2] even had his own security footage.

The shock on the woman’s face when she was proven wrong was priceless.

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All Employees Look The Same To These People

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: Celestia1Ludenberg | June 7, 2021

I am from a country that has a school system nothing like America’s. We have different types of high schools and I happen to be in school for tourism. In our school, we learn how to be waiters/waitresses, cooks, receptionists, etc. And after this high school, we can go to college but it’s not necessary as we already have experience.

One year, our teacher will send us to work in a hotel or restaurant to gain experience and knowledge for a few weeks. It’s not easy but it is nice. We get paid and are allowed to keep tips.

One summer, I am a waitress. I get my uniform and I went to my hometown to work in a restaurant. My mother, my father, my two younger sisters, my aunt, and I go to drink some coffee in one of many bars across the parking lot from my work. I already have my uniform on and my hair up, and I am just sitting there laughing at my sister’s jokes.

Me: “Oh, it’s 11:50. I need to head to work now.”

Family: “Okay. We’ll see you later!”

As I’m on my way out, this random lady marches up and starts yelling at me.

Lady: “Excuuuuuuse meee?!”

Me: “Umm, yes?”

Lady: “I saw you sitting down with this family over there—” *points to my parents* “—and I’ve been waiting forever to get my order. It’s not even busy.”

Me: *Startled* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I don’t—”

Lady: “Don’t you dare interrupt me. It’s not my fault you lazy teens don’t know how to work. Now take my order, and I want to pay right now so I can use the change to pay for my parking.”

I look at my family in disbelief. I am wearing a full-on uniform for the restaurant I work in; in my part of the country, people working in bars almost always just have a black shirt with the bar’s name on it and jeans.

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I don’t work here. I can’t do that for you.”

Lady: “YES, YOU DO! Why else would you wear a uniform?!”

My parents look at her and confirm what I said.

Lady: *Angry and turning red* “Well, at least give me some change in coins so I can pay for my parking.”

Ummm, sorry, what?! First, she yelled at me, and now she wants my money? WTF?!

Me: “Sorry, but I don’t have any, and I wouldn’t give it to you anyway because I. Don’t. Work. Here!”

I just turned around and walked out. The look on her face when she noticed I was raising my voice at her was priceless. When I left, she went back to her seat and started telling my parents how I was clearly not raised properly. Yeah, right! My aunt, who is super protective of me, gave the lady a piece of her mind, and my dad said she left almost crying.

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