It’s Never Too Late To Learn Manners

, , , , | Friendly | January 21, 2021

I take my elderly mother shopping at a bulk grocery store. We each take a cart, as we each shop for our own homes. At one point, we stop in front of an end cap while my mom goes to the restroom. I stand between the carts and start looking over my shopping list. A woman passes me without saying anything. She circles around and comes back, stopping on the other side of the aisle.

Woman: *Annoyed* “AHEM!”

Me: “I’m done shopping if—” *looks up* “Oh, sorry. I thought—”

Woman: “You’re in my way.”

She points at the display behind me. I give a fake laugh.

Me: “You meant, ‘Excuse me,’ right?”

Woman: “What?”

Me: “You meant to say, ‘Excuse me,’ right?”

We stare at each other, but she looks away first.

Woman: *Blushes* “Excuse me, please.”

Me: *Cheery* “Of course!”

I moved both carts out of the way, and the woman took what she was looking for and hurried away. My mother came out of the restroom and we went on shopping without further incident.

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Be A Jerk In Moderation

, , , , , , | Friendly | January 20, 2021

This takes place in a relatively popular Minecraft server for my area, where everyone is challenged to build the biggest, best build they can. I personally love modern-looking mansions, so I decide to build a huge one, and since I’m gay, I put a rainbow beacon set on the roof. It is huge, and it takes me weeks of logging on during every spare moment I have to finish just the outside. I start on the inside, but I have to log off for the night.

When I log back in the next morning, I can’t see the rainbow beacons. There are hundreds of other modern mansions that are just as big and spectacular as mine, so it will take me at least thirty minutes to look, but I have to be somewhere in thirty-five minutes. I decide to take the fast route and just chat [Moderator #1] to see what happened. I am also acquainted with [Moderator #1] in real life, so I have an idea of what happened.

Me: “Hey, [Moderator #1], do you know what happened to my rainbow beacons that were on top of my mansion? I can’t find it otherwise, because it looks so similar to everyone else’s.”

Moderator #1: “Oh, those? Yeah, the person that lives in your mansion now took them off.”

Me: “In my mansion?! I didn’t give anyone permission to be in my mansion!”

Moderator #1: “Oh, well, you gave me permission to sell one of your other mansions, so I figured you wouldn’t care if I sold this one.”

Me: “I only gave you permission to sell that mansion because it was small and crappy! This one I’m not even done with yet, and it’s the hardest build I’ve ever made!”

Moderator #1: “Whatever. It’s not my problem that you didn’t clarify it was just the one mansion. If you want to complain further, here’s the gamertag of the person that lives in your mansion now. [Moderator #2].”

[Moderator #1] then logs off, leaving me to talk to [Moderator #2] alone.

Me: *Fuming* “Hey, [Moderator #2], I need to talk to you.”

[Moderator #2] reads all the chats.

Moderator #2: “Yeah, [My Gamertag], I kind of figured that out. I’m so sorry and I had no idea he didn’t have permission from you to sell the mansion. I also thought I got scammed since the inside wasn’t even finished.”

I’m relieved that [Moderator #2] isn’t an a**hole like [Moderator #1].

Me: “Yeah, the reason it wasn’t finished is that I didn’t know he was going to sell it. I’ll get him to give you a refund.”

Moderator #2: “He’d better give me a refund! I spent four emeralds and three wither skeleton skulls on this house!”

Me: “Oh, also can you put the rainbow beacons back up? I have to leave now, but that’s the only way I’ll be able to see it when I log back in.”

Moderator #2: “No problem. Also, after he gives me my refund, [Moderator #1] is getting banned!”

[Moderator #1] did end up paying back [Moderator #2] in full, he gave me an apology, and then he got banned for selling property without permission from the owner. I finally finished my house, and I also never saw [Moderator #1] in person or on Minecraft again.

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We’re Angry For You, Too!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | January 19, 2021

I am unloading a truck in my section with my coworker, talking about holiday shopping.

Me: “I bought an item on [Handmaid Goods Site] and it never showed up. I didn’t think too much because of [health crisis] delays until [Handmaid Goods Site] let me know I could open a case. Turns out they took my money and then shut down their shop without ever letting me know and didn’t even refund me.”

Customer: “What?!”

We turn and see a customer who apparently has been nearby and overheard.

Customer: “Oh, honey, I’m gonna be mad for you. That’s completely messed up! The balls that person had.”

I thought it was so funny that she got really fired up over it. Thankfully, though, the website gave me a complete refund on the item.

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Not Always Bright

, , , , | Friendly | January 18, 2021

A coworker accidentally locks her keys inside her car while at a gas station. Luckily, she has her cell phone to call for help, but while she’s waiting for help to arrive, someone approaches her.

Stranger: “Could you please move your car out of the way so I can get gas?”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but I’ve locked my keys inside—”

Stranger: “Okay, but can you still move your car so I can use the pump?”

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What Subject Do You Teach? Just Curious.

, , , , | Friendly | January 12, 2021

I am in college and I’m trying to find a parking spot. Once I find one and park, a lady in the car in front of me swings her door open and starts yelling at me.  

Lady: “You hit my car!”

Me: *Calmly* “No, ma’am, I did not.”

Lady: “Yes, you did! Do I need to get the police involved? I will call them. You’re going to make me late to the class I have to teach!”

Me: “You are welcome to call the police if you feel the need to, but I can assure you that I did not hit your vehicle.”

Lady: “Oh, yeah?! How are you so sure?!”

I point to the cement post for the streetlight directly in front of my car.

Me: “Because if I had, my front bumper on the passenger side would be completely smushed in.”

The lady realizes there’s no way I could have actually hit her car.

Lady: “Well… I… Uh… Well, I guess since there’s no damage to my car, I’ll leave it this time and won’t call the police.”

She walked off toward the building and I moved my car to a different area just in case.

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