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Accidentally Giving Her An Earful

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: functi0nalPsych0path | May 7, 2022

I’m listening to the “Dune” series again on Audible to prepare for the movie coming out. I’m at a western wear store getting my winter hat reformed and cleaned. While they are doing that, I’m looking around, as one does. I have my earphones in.

I have a prosthetic ear on my right side that is held on by magnets. When I have earphones in, I still put them in both ears to make things look even, and it takes up some of the weight that would just be hanging off my left side if I didn’t — not that the weight is heavy, just annoying.

I’m kneeled over, looking at some boots, and my earphones are yanked off by a woman who starts barking at me. I’m pissed because she’s holding on to my earphones in her hand, and I can see that my ear is still attached to them.

I’m pissed, but the image of a woman barking while my ear is swinging from my earbud is enough to get me laughing.

She stops.

Woman: “What’s so darn funny?!”

Me: *Pointing* “Can I have my ear back?”

She looked down, screamed, dropped everything, and ran away. I went back to shopping and eventually got my hat taken care of.

I hope she dreams about my ear every night.

I Don’t Work Here… Unless You’ve Got Cash

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: jake-baked-a-cake | May 3, 2022

My girlfriend and I, both in our early twenties, met online, and over the week of the Fourth of July, I go to visit her in California.

We’ve planned a mall date for one day. I’m sitting at the doorstep of the hotel I’m staying in, waiting for my girlfriend to come to pick me up; she is still living in her mom’s apartment, so staying with her is a huge no-no. I’m sitting there, scrolling on my phone, when all of a sudden this older lady pulls up in her SUV, leaves it there — not in a parking spot — and goes inside, presumably to check in. I shrug it off and go back to my phone.

A few minutes later, the lady walks back out.

Lady: “Excuse me, could you be a dear and park my car for me?”

I don’t know if she thinks I’m a valet guy or whatever, but I am the only other person there, so she can’t be talking to anyone else. I figure I don’t have anything better to do while I wait for my girlfriend, so I say:

Me: “Sure, I can do that. That spot over there okay?”

I point to the nearest available parking spot. She hands me her keys.

Lady: “As long as my car’s nice and parked it’s fine by me.”

I get in her car and take it right to that spot without an issue. By the time I get out of the car, my girlfriend has pulled up, most likely wondering why the h*** her boyfriend is getting out of someone else’s car. I give my girlfriend a little wave, walk over to the lady, and hand her keys back over. As I do, she hands me a $20 bill.

Lady: “Thank you for your help!”

Me: “You don’t have to do that!”

Lady: “You didn’t have to park my car, either, but you did so anyway. I insist.”

Me: “Okay. Thank you!”

And then, I step into my girlfriend’s car.

Girlfriend: “What just happened?”

Me: “I’m not quite sure.”

I explained the whole thing to her while we were at the mall later on and we had a good laugh about it.

You Know, Literally Anyone Can Buy Scrubs

, , , , | Healthy Right | CREDIT: german_big_guy | May 1, 2022

I’m a male nurse and work in the emergency room. My shift ended a little late today (like always) and I really wasn’t in the mood for bulls***. I headed to the changing rooms to shower and change. The locker rooms are in a separate building, so normally, I have to leave the building the ER is in, cross the main building, and then enter the separate building. But there are some shortcuts in the hospital and really, no one cares. If you wear scrubs or a lab coat, no one will bother you.

I was wearing dark blue scrubs. Only the ER and ICU staff wear dark blue; most bedside nurses wear white.

As always, I walked through the hospital, greeted some other nurses or doctors I knew, and then I stopped to look at my phone. And then, it started.

Woman: “Umm, excuse me?”

Me: “Huh? Me?”

Woman: “Yes, you! Is there anyone else here? I’ve been searching for a d*** nurse for, like, ever, and the unit clerk couldn’t help me.”

Me: “Okay. Maybe I can help. What’s the problem?”

Woman: “In which room is [Patient]? The clerk wouldn’t tell me.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t work here.”

Woman: “I don’t believe you! You’re wearing scrubs, so you’re a nurse! Now, where is [Patient]? I’m his wife and want to visit him.”

Me: “As I said, I don’t work in this station. You’ll have to just ask one of the nurses around here.”

Woman: “Ugh, you’re just lazy!”

At this point, I was really annoyed, so I basically detached my ID card from my scrubs and showed it to her. It said clearly, “RN OP — Emergency Room”. She looked at it, then at me, and then again at the ID card.

The woman apologized and then she flagged down another nurse who actually worked there.

Find Your Own Chips, Lady

, , , | Right | April 30, 2022

I work at a grocery store, but there’s a much cheaper store across the street where I do most of my shopping. Sometimes when I run into regular customers across the street at the cheap store, they’ll laugh and call me a traitor.

Only once did anyone mistake me for an employee of the cheaper store. She shouted at me from like four aisles away:

Customer: “HEY! WHERE ARE THE CHIPS?!”

I just rolled my eyes. If she’d asked me like I was a human being, I’d have helped her. I don’t work there, but I know where the chips are. But if you’re going to yell at me, h*** no.

Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows, Part 3

, , , , | Right | April 29, 2022

I am in a store whose uniform includes red T-shirts. I’m carrying a tray of coffees. I am wearing my pajamas, with an oversized black sweatshirt with a large gaming logo on it. A woman shopping in an aisle calls out to me.

Woman: “Excuse me, ma’am!”

I stop and look over at her.

Me: “Yes?”

Woman: “Are you a manager?”

Me: “Um, no.”

Woman: “Oh, sorry! You just look like one carrying all those coffees. Are you sure you’re not a manager? If you’re off the clock, that’s fine.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I don’t work here.”

Woman: “Oh, well, could you get me someone who does?”

Me: “I’m with my family, so…”

Woman: “It won’t take you even a minute. I’ll stay around here. Thank you, sweetheart!”

She goes back to shopping. I continue to the back of the store to my family and completely forget about the woman as my family and I look at the games.

When we get up to check out, I see the woman wandering nearby. When she gets near, she spots me.

Woman: *Sternly* “You didn’t tell anyone where I was, did you? I was waiting for fifteen minutes, and no one came by! I had to find someone myself!”

My family looks at me weirdly for a second, wondering what is happening.

Me: “Sorry, but I told you I didn’t work here and that I was with my family.”

Woman: “Hmph! So much for chivalry and respecting elders.”

She walks away.

Sister: “What the f*** was her deal?”

Me: “She wanted me to get someone for her, and she’s mad I didn’t.”

Dad: “Okay, f*** her, then. Not your problem.”

Me: “Yeah, well…”

Related:
Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows, Part 2
Some People Have Never Been Told “No” And It Shows