Tourist Hotspots Proven To Be More Enjoyable When Not Shared With Newly-Single Emotional Wrecks

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2018

My boyfriend and I recently visited two different friends in the same city, both more his friends than mine. The two friends used to be engaged to each other, actually, but when they moved west a few years ago, they split and moved on with other people. While staying with [Friend #1], we make plans to visit [Friend #2]. This second friend holds a very serious, taxing job, working with law enforcement, and has been in a steady relationship for a while now, so while she’s known to be rather over-emotional at times, I assume she’s still a responsible adult and is doing well at the moment. We arrange to spend a day out with her.

Little did we know, [Friend #2] and her girlfriend has just recently broken up before our visit, due to her girlfriend cheating on her. When the day comes to hang out with [Friend #2], she is still an emotional wreck. And the fallout of this starts with her “forgetting” her car at work, meaning that it’s now [Friend #1], our host, who has to drive my boyfriend and me forty minutes across town to — let’s remember — her ex-girlfriend’s place, and drop us off. [Friend #2] then calls a Lyft for us back into town, where we wander a bit and find food.

The lighthearted romp we were expecting, catching up with a friend while on vacation and seeing an unfamiliar city, becomes instead hours of making sympathetic noises while [Friend #2] yo-yos back and forth between hyperactive cheerfulness and all but sobbing — even in a restaurant — over her recent troubles. She has been a good friend, so we are as supportive as we can be, genuinely, but the almost non-stop stream of [Friend #2]’s words plus the emotional whiplash becomes exhausting.

Eventually, though, it’s time to arrange transportation back, and we are at [Friend #2]’s mercy, when she assures us she has a buddy in the area who can meet us and give us a ride. He arrives, and we meet him over a brief drink, learning he’s actually a defense attorney. I say this as though it’s surprising because he doesn’t quite seem the type upon first impression, rather more lackadaisical and bohemian. He even tells a funny story about how he once acquired a Mexican restaurant’s old delivery van simply by commenting on it, which for some reason prompted the restaurant owners to drop the keys into his hand and say he could have it for $1500. And he bought it, because, he shrugs, why not?

I’m sure you can guess where this is going. Sadly for my boyfriend and I, we did not.

[Friend #2] and her defense attorney buddy then lead us to, yep, that very same van, which has the standard two seats in the cab, but nothing else. The back is a bare, grooved metal floor, last cleaned who knows when. The only thing in it is a pile of old shirts. Shaking his head and chuckling, the buddy says to us, “Not sure why there’s a pile of shirts in there, but, you know…” and trails off, shrugging. When [Friend #2] climbs in the passenger seat and cheerfully asks, “You guys okay back there?” we don’t really have a choice but to say sure, and just sit uncomfortably on cold metal in a rickety van while a stranger drives us through a strange city, bouncing us up and down hills, chatting nonstop with [Friend #2].

We do make it out it one piece, but it is a near thing, as the buddy almost slams into a stopped car in front of us at one point, and only avoids it by mounting the curb.

Our outing ends with us basically stranded in another part of town as it gets dark and starts to rain, relying on [Friend #1] once again to fetch us. All in all, it’s not the most relaxing day of our vacation!

 

Weed Now Legal In Canada: Engineering Some Wonderful Moments

, , , , , | Friendly | November 9, 2018

(Weed in Canada has recently been legalized. Riding the train home after a lunch date, I see this from across the aisle.)

Guy #1: *produces a mini-bong from one of his pockets and turns to his friend* “Give me my engineering degree!”

Guy #2: *instantly whips out and hands over a plastic straw*

Guy #1: *sticks it on the mini-bong, beams proudly at this engineering achievement, and smiles at his friend* “Thanks!”

(They missed their stop.)

Scariest Halloween Costume Turns Out To Be Middle-Aged Ladies Out On The Prowl For Conversations

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 8, 2018

It’s Halloween and I’m walking home from work through a part of town known for its fancy stores.

I’m dressed in surgical scrubs and running shoes, with my work ID on a lanyard around my neck the way hospital employees wear theirs, and sprayed with fake blood.

A random woman, well-dressed and in her forties, stops me, and asks if I’m a surgeon. I tell her no. She then starts to talk to me about her medical problems.

Lady, seriously?

Shock At Women Doing Home Improvement Shows Men’s Attitudes Are Still Going Down The Drain

, , , , | Friendly | November 8, 2018

(I’m home from college when my mom’s kitchen sink faucet stops working. She and I go to pick out a new one, bringing my twelve-year-old brother. My brother decides to wander down the mall to a different store, but plans to meet us in a bit. Mom and I pick a faucet, and we are standing in line to check out when the customer in front of us decides to start up a conversation.)

Customer: “New faucet, huh? You run it by your husband to make sure it will fit?”

Mom: “No, but it’s fine.”

Customer: “You ladies really should call him and make sure, before you have to return it! Don’t want him to get mad!”

Me: “My father hasn’t been in the picture for ten years; I don’t need to check in with him. This is the right faucet.”

Customer: “Your plumber, then! He can probably get you that for cheaper.”

Me: “We are fine.”

Customer: “Are you planning to do this yourself? I hope you realize you’ll have to climb around under the sink to assemble that!”

Me: “I repeat: we are fine.”

(He sputters out a few more objections when my brother walks up. Instantly the guy is all smiles.)

Customer: “Hey there! I didn’t know you were with your mom; I’ve been giving her such a hard time about installing that faucet!” *laughs* “You’ll do great.”

Brother: “Uh, I don’t know how to do that.”

Customer: “Oh, just follow the instructions; it’s real easy! *laughs* “You’ll do great.”

(He sort of slapped my brother on the shoulder and checked out. After he left, my brother fearfully asked if he really had to install the faucet and was relieved when I said I’d do it. I did, and it’s working fine six months later, even though I’m — GASP — an adult woman and not a tween boy.)

New Reality Show To Air, About People That Are Detached From It

, , , , | Friendly | November 7, 2018

(I’m a queer woman. I am only out to a few close friends. I am hanging out with one of those friends, when one of his friends, an acquaintance of mine, stops by. We are trying to decide on something to watch on TV.)

Friend: “Oh, [Reality Show about LGBT people] is playing; do you guys want to watch that?”

Friend-Of-Friend: “Oh, my God, yes! I love that show!”

Me: “Uh… I mean, it’s not really my taste.”

Friend-Of-Friend: *suddenly hostile* “What do you mean, it’s not your taste?”

Me: “I don’t really like reality TV.”

(For the rest of the evening, she’s ice cold to me. I’m very uncomfortable, and even though my friend tries to smooth things over, it’s obvious that his friend has a problem with me. I leave pretty shortly after. A few days later, I am talking to my friend, and he tells me that this happened as soon as I left the room.)

Friend-Of-Friend: “Oh, my God, can you believe her?”

Friend: “What do you mean?”

Friend-Of-Friend: “She doesn’t like [Show]! Is she some sort of homophobe or something?”

Friend: *one of the three people who knows that I’m queer* “Um… You know, I’m pretty sure that’s not it.”

(It took a few years before I was comfortable living as an “out” woman. When the news finally reached the friend of my friend, she contacted me. She was doing a thesis on gender and sexuality studies, and wanted some personal examples of internalized homophobia. I asked her what specifically she was referring to, and she brought up the fact that I didn’t like that show. I cut off contact, and I’m pretty sure that she still doesn’t understand that some people just don’t care for reality TV.)

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