Won’t Stand For It

, , , , | Right | January 28, 2019

(I’m a passenger in a very overcrowded train going from Leipzig to Berlin. The train left the station ten minutes late and even more people get in. Two passengers check their reservations and ask a couple to vacate their seats.)

Standing Passengers: “Give us these seats. We reserved them.”

Sitting Passengers: “Strange, we also reserved these seats. Maybe you are in the wrong car?”

Standing Passengers: “No, these are our seats.”

Sitting Passengers: “We are sorry, but these are not your seats. Here, see? These are the reservations for these seats.”

(This keeps going for another minute, the standing passengers are getting louder, so that the whole car can listen to their shouting. Meanwhile, the train starts moving and the conductor appears.)

Conductor: “Good afternoon. What seems to be the problem here?”

Standing Passengers: “These people are sitting in our seats and won’t give them to us.”

(The sitting passengers are trying to get a word in but are interrupted by the standing passengers. They quietly hand their tickets and reservations to the conductor.)

Conductor: *to the standing passengers* “I’m sorry, but these passengers reserved these seats. Can I please see your tickets?”

Standing Passengers: *hand over their tickets, while complaining about the train service in general* “This is unacceptable. We reserved these seats. We want to be compensated!”

Conductor: “I’m sorry, I found the problem. You booked seats on the train that is leaving for Berlin in five minutes.”

Standing Passengers: “But this train goes to Berlin.”

Conductor: “Yes, this train also goes to Berlin but it was delayed and so the departure times of both trains were nearly identically.”

Standing Passengers: “But we booked seats. It’s unacceptable for us to stand.”

Conductor: “Well, it’s the book fair in Leipzig today and therefore the train is full. There are a lot of people standing.”

Standing Passengers: “This is unacceptable and bad service.”

Conductor: “Well, you are in the wrong train. I cannot do anything about that.”

Standing Passengers: “How rude! Give us your name, so we can complain to Deutsche Bahn.”

Conductor: “Gladly, my name is [Conductor].”

(Lots of people started sniggering and the standing passengers ran off to the next car. I really would have liked to listen in on their telephone call with the complaint department.)

That Was A Weird Trip(oli)

, , , | Friendly | January 16, 2019

(I’m on my way home from school on a train. I sometimes wear camo pants but I’m pretty sure this day I didn’t. If I did, the story might have made at least some sense. A man comes to sit next to me, but in a very stiff manner. He kinda moves like a robot would. A minute after he sits down he leans towards me and out of the blue asks me this incredibly random question.)

Man: “Do you happen to know any intel about the current situation in Lebanon?”

Me: “Ehm. No. Can’t help you there. Sorry.”

(The man looks at me for a bit, then stands up in the same robotic manner he sat down with and gets off at the next stop.)

Me: “What the h*** just happened?”

There’s No Diet That Can Fix A Bad Personality

, , , | Friendly | January 9, 2019

(I am a mother of twins, in my mid-thirties, and yes, I am rather overweight. At around 280 pounds, you can legally call me obese, but I am healthy, well-dressed, and absolutely able-bodied all around. I am sitting in the train to work, minding my own business, when the old lady sitting opposite of me lets out a sigh and directs the following gem at me.)

Lady: “You know, if you would just lose some weight, you would be pretty enough.”

(I snap out of my thought, at first not realising she’s addressing me. Then, as it sinks in, I feel anger rising.)

Me: “And if you would not harass people you don’t know, you would not be such a bitter old hag!”

Lady: “Well, it was meant to be a compliment! You have no business insulting me!”

Me: “Well, I certainly did not start insulting people on the train for no reason.”

(Silence ensued until she moved seats at the next stop. Guess what: I know I’m too heavy, but people who tell others like me to “just lose weight” are the ones to tell people with depression to “just cheer up” and people with phobias to “just calm down.” Of course, that is possible, but if it was that easy, nobody would suffer freely.)

A Graphic Train Of Thought

, , , , | Healthy | December 28, 2018

I’m notorious for not really thinking before I speak. Some people like it because they can count on me telling the truth, but others hate the fact that I say inappropriate things sometimes.

This is pertinent when I’m on a national rail service train. I have just spent three hours with my dad in an Urgent Care drop-in centre because a relatively recent piercing I got became infected. My mum isn’t with us as she stayed in London while we went to Nottingham.

She calls me on the train to check how I am after my dad texted her before we were seen by a nurse. I tell her the whole story.

As I’m telling it, I start to notice people around me looking uncomfortable, and one man puts his food away. I realise that I’ve just described, in graphic detail, how there had been clear fluid and blood leaking from my ear, as well as how, when I took the piercing out, I lost my grip on the front of the earring and pulled the 3-mm ball through my piercing, making it bleed all the more. I quickly change tack to a more vanilla version of events.

To all the poor people who shared that train with me, I’m deeply sorry for subjecting you to that and putting you off your food. On the plus side, I caught the infection before it got really bad, so there’ll be no even worse stories for me to horrify strangers with.

He’s About To Get A Chile Reception

, , , , , , , | Legal | December 12, 2018

This story happened to my sister. We are from Chile, but she was traveling in Europe when this happened. She got onto a train in Prague and a random guy got into the compartment where she was, and started to talk very fast in English. He told her that he had to go to the next city because of an emergency and that he would have to leave his wife alone without a penny. They only had one credit card he would need for the trip, so he needed cash. He promised my sister that if she gave something, he would return it when they arrive at the next station.

My sister realised that this was a scam from the first moment, but she was afraid that he could do something to her, as she was traveling alone. In that moment she remembered that she had some Chilean money, so she took her wallet and timidly said, “I only have Chilean money on me right now; I would love to help you, so here you go,” and she handed him 1000 Chilean pesos — a little more than a US dollar.

When the guy saw the 1000, he got the biggest smile of victory and hurried down the train never to be seen again.

To this day we laugh at the guy, thinking about his face the day he went to the money exchange and they give him just a Euro.

Page 1/1712345...Last