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Time Budgeting Is Hard Work

, , , , , , | Working | September 7, 2021

I had a coworker come to my cubicle to talk to me about the email I had sent her. She said she was too busy to read such a long message. We spent ten minutes talking about it.

The average person reads 300 Words Per Minute but speaks about 150 WPM. My message was less than 900 words, and so it should have taken less than three minutes to read. Great time-saver, talking to me about it instead of reading it.

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My Mother The Monster

, , , , | Right | September 4, 2021

CONTENT WARNING: ABUSE

My mother is the worst customer. She’ll argue with you for half an hour over a $10 refund until you either call the police or give it to her just make her go away. My earliest memory at the age of four was her inside of a restaurant repeatedly screaming at someone “Give me my money back! Give me my money back!” over and over.

My mom has irresponsibly left me (age eight) and my sister (infant) unattended in a car parking lot while she goes inside and shops alone. The store manager notices us and instead of calling the cops and having her arrested as she should have, she approaches and sweetly coaxes us to come with her inside the store and find our mom, stating that it wasn’t safe out here and that she didn’t want any “bad people” to take us.

I go with her, and she takes my sister out of her car seat and leads us into the store office. She gives my sister (who is screaming her freaking head off) to another employee, who gently rocks her while the manager gets my mom’s name from me and pages for her to come to the office.

When that woman appears and sees us, she turns a sinister rainbow palette of rage-induced colors that I never knew was humanly possible, while screaming a litany of profanity at eardrum-shattering levels. She rips my sister out of the employee’s arms, grabs me by the arm, and marches us out of the office and onto the main floor.

The manager follows and tries to explain that not only was she looking out for our interest, but she also didn’t want her to get arrested and have us taken away. My mom screams that poor woman’s face off right in front of everyone in the store until the whole place was so quiet you could have heard a mouse sneeze. For the first time ever at the age of eight, I genuinely felt sorry and embarrassed for an adult and almost wanted to give that woman a hug!

When we got home my mom kicked my butt all up and down the house like it was my fault for going with the woman and letting her take my sister instead of being grateful she didn’t leave her off the premises in handcuffs.

33 years later, none of us siblings have anything to do with her for obvious reasons. She actually asked my sister for money to save her house from IRS foreclosure–my sister laughed at her and hung up!

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You Scream, I Scream For Service!

, , , , , | Working | September 3, 2021

A bar in my hometown has several floors which are available to hire as venues for special events, but they also run their own from time to time. They’re known for being quirky, and these rooms have a kind of 1920s vintage décor. One night, they had a promotion to watch a classic 1980s sci-fi film and have a two-course meal in one of these rooms, so a few of my friends bought tickets for it.

We got there and were shown to our table, which had two armchairs and a couch instead of normal seats. This would’ve been great except for one chair that didn’t actually have a seat! I tried to find a member of staff, but they had all disappeared into the staff area and it took fifteen minutes for one to reappear.

Our meals came without issue and I asked for an ice cream dessert, too, which would cost extra. Half an hour later, a bowl of ice cream was placed in front of me which, after a moment, I realised was almost completely melted. Again, all members of staff had disappeared, so I ended up standing in the middle of the hall holding a bowl of ice cream soup whilst the movie played until, eventually, a member of staff appeared.

They replaced the bowl with one only slightly better, so I ate it and watched the rest of the movie with my friends. At the end of the film, nobody came to bill me for the ice cream and I was not prepared to go hunting for the staff again, so this remains the only time I have ever walked out without paying.

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That’s The Way The Cookie Smuggles

, , , , , , | Right | September 3, 2021

I baked cookies around Christmas and put them in the break room at work for everyone. The rest of the staff really liked them, so sometime later in January, I made two trays’ worth and brought them over.

I had a morning shift beginning at 7:30 am and I put the cookies in the break room, first thing. By 10:00 am, they were gone. I thought that some people really enjoyed them, considering it took until about 4:00 pm for them to run out last time, but asking around, less than half the staff even knew I brought cookies at all. They just saw some empty trays in the break room.

Even management liked these cookies, and one of them, failing to have a cookie, looked at the security footage. Turned out that a so-called “customer” made his way into the back when no one was looking and then went into the break room. He stretched out the front of the shirt he was wearing into a pouch and filled it with every cookie still there. He then carried the cookies out of the building, taking a route that would not get him noticed by anyone working there.

That guy must have really liked these cookies, but learn to share!

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A Tale Of A Table Of Twenty-Two And How They Tipped

, , , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Big-Prior-5878 | September 3, 2021

I work at a restaurant in a resort hotel that has a roughly 400-person occupancy post-health crisis, and to say I’ve been getting burnt out is an understatement to the Nth degree. After a rough Friday and Saturday — fifty-plus-minute ticket times, an hour-long waitlist, and just a complete dumpster fire start to finish — I had absolutely no desire to go in yesterday. My faith in humanity was decimated. But I went, and holy s*** was it the best decision I’ve made this year.

The last table of the night was a twenty-two-top youth basketball team with eight adults. I was already pissed, thinking they’d make a mess and have a million split tickets. Then, an angel from the walk-in in the sky blessed me with their presence. All one ticket. More or less well-behaved kids. Everyone was nice and patient. Food came out right. I thought I was having a stroke or another work dream. This angel of a man who was taking care of the tab tipped me $1,200 on top of the included $240 gratuity.

I have never in my life cried from happiness at work in my life. Sad cry? Yes. Angry cry? Abso-f******-lutely. Work July Fourth lakeside and the kitchen catches on fire cry? Just the one time. But never happy crying. This man gave me over $1,400 and could not have been nicer. And I almost called out. My faith in humanity is restored and my eyes are puffy from crying. To think I was dreading coming to work and almost called out.

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