This Relationship Sounds Exhausting But Really Sweet

, , , , , , | | Romantic | June 10, 2019

A friend of mine is in a long-distance relationship. They are both extremely athletic and competitive. A local gym holds a 1-2-3-4 challenge each year. You swim one mile, run two miles, bike three miles, and then do a series of four exercises: 100 pushups, 100 situps, 100 pullups, and 100 squats. It’s a charity event, people can compete in teams or individually, and a lot of people dress up.

My friend and his girlfriend often exercise “together” by video chatting from their home gyms while working out, using Bluetooth headsets to call while running, and sharing their Fitbit data, etc. She says she’ll do the challenge “with him.”

Come the day of the challenge, my friend is frustrated when he can’t get hold of her, but he decides to still go as hard as he can, hoping to be the first to finish/win the challenge.

He ends up coming second to someone dressed as a chicken.

It’s the end of the challenge, and most people are lying around exhausted, my friend included. He’s also super frustrated that he still can’t get a hold of his girlfriend and that not only did he lose, but he lost to a chicken.

He tries calling his girlfriend again, and when he can’t get hold of her, he turns to me and loudly asks, “Why isn’t she answering?!”

At this point, the chicken pulls her head off and answers, “Because I was busy kicking your a**!”

I’ve never seen someone go from exhausted and frustrated to elated so quickly. He jumps up and hugs her, spinning her round.

He then grabs her hand and pulls her out of the gym, and I hear her giggle and say, “Told you I would do the work out with you!”

Unfiltered Story #154486

, , | | Unfiltered | June 10, 2019

Many years ago, I was a department supervisor at an organization that had several technical and R&D departments. All supervisors had to attend a weekly get-together with the boss, to describe any pertinent happenings, and listen to the weekly pep talk and warnings.

One week, the boss was out of town, and the Deputy Boss chaired the meeting. Deputy Boss was known for his long-winded talks, that might or might not apply to anything else under discussion.

The supervisors quickly gave their updates, and Deputy Boss started his “informational presentation.” On and on… several of us were trying to stay awake.

Eventually, Deputy Boss started to make some closing remarks, so I closed my notebook, put my pen in my pocket, and tried to continue to look attentive. Deputy Boss then looked at me, smiled, folded his hands over his notes, and continued his speech for 20 more minutes.

Deputy Boss also wanted to “screen” any briefings we gave to visiting dignitaries. We had to give him copies of our written text as well as copies of our visuals.

One day, I was told to set up a briefing for a visiting dignitary and followed the procedure. On briefing day, Deputy Boss gave the introduction to my topic. Guess what … he used MY visuals and much of my written information!

I then stood up, smiled at the dignitary, and said something like, “Deputy Boss has told you a lot about [topic], and some of these slides will look familiar, I will go over the topic quickly, and you can ask me any technical questions that might have arisen when Deputy Boss introduced me.

The dignitary smiled, and Deputy Boss stared at the presentation screen, I finished the briefing in record time, and all ended well.

Deputy Boss was actually a nice, and intelligent guy… but, he really liked to talk, even at the expense of upstaging his minions.

They’ll Be Having A Ball In Prison

, , , , , | | Legal | June 8, 2019

There are two small prisons on the outskirts of our little town; one sits right beside the road, and the other you have to drive a half-mile down a dead-end road to get to in the dense woods. Despite this, people will “accidentally” stumble upon the second prison and “lose” their drugs, phones, etc.

But these two guys take the cake.

In the middle of broad daylight, these two guys decide to play football in the woods and then “accidentally” throw their ball over the fence. Once the ball flies over the barbed wire, they take off running back into the woods while the guards call deputies to the scene.

The ball is intercepted by the guards who realize the ball is actually being held together by duct tape. When they open it up, it’s full to the brim with drugs, pills, and cellphones.

The guys are arrested, and to this day have been the most creative in doing a drop-off.

Giving Cards For Kindness

, , , , , | | Hopeless | June 7, 2019

I took my teenage son on a tour of several colleges out of state. On a day when we had two tours scheduled, our rental car got a flat, so we had to have it towed and get another car. We missed one tour but made it to the second one, after a three-hour drive. Tired, grumpy, and discombobulated, I found the parking lot and managed to use the self-pay to pay for our parking before walking over to the visitor center.

Only when I went to buy my son a T-shirt did I realize that my credit card was missing. I had left it in the parking machine. Convinced that it would be stolen and used to buy thousands of dollars of stuff, I ran back to where we had parked. What did I find but another teenager there for the same tour, on her phone. She had found my card, Googled my name, found my office phone number, and was calling me to tell me she found my card. She was delighted that she got to give it back, and I was delighted that I didn’t have to cancel the card. I was even more delighted when I checked my voicemail later to find such an earnest and polite message telling me she that had found my card and would do her best to get it back to me.

Teenagers are the hope for the future, and I’m not being sarcastic. I hope she gets accepted.

Starting A New Hire Fire

, , , , , , | | Working | June 7, 2019

I work at a dollar store. I once hired a girl who had a second job at a big box store. She seemed to have plenty of experience and was upset that her hours were drastically cut at the other store. I soon found out why. She was dumb as a brick.

Her first day of work, she shows up early, before I am there to unlock the door. I know this because my 12-year-old daughter gets a nasty call from her demanding someone unlock the door. No clue how she got the number or figured that was the one to call. Okay, moving on.

Once we are all inside and clocked in I start to explain what I want everyone doing before the store opens. I tell the new girl I want her to do some facing and start explaining what facing is. She interrupts me saying she works in retail and already knows what facing is. I’m taken aback, but I let it go and tell her to face the toy aisle for me and leave her to it. Fifteen minutes later, I come by to check her progress and find her in a different aisle trying to rearrange a section of hooks with product.

I ask her what she’s doing. She says she doesn’t know what she’s supposed to be doing. I remind her that she was meant to be facing the toy aisle. She tells me she doesn’t know what that means; it’s only her first day. I spend nearly ten minutes explaining to her how to pull items forward on the shelves, how to fill empty spots and reorganize messy spots. She spends most of her shift looking at the toys, and eventually, I send her home early.

Next shift, I try her on cash and promptly get reports from staff and other customers that she is skipping scanning certain items when she knows the person she is ringing out. I wait around the cash until I hear her greet a friend and stand back to watch. I can see the items she is scanning from the customer side on the screen, as does the customer. Immediately, she starts putting things in bags without scanning or only scanning an item once if they bought two or more. The customer actually mentions it first; my cashier winks and says she did, in fact, scan it. I chime in that no, she didn’t. I can clearly see her screen and what has been scanned. She apparently had no idea there was even a screen on the other side.

Next shift, she is late and I can’t find a single task she is capable of doing alone. By this point, I am ready to let her go, but my district manager is in town and thinks she is “young and charming” and says to “give her a chance.”

My DM decides I am not giving her the benefit of the doubt and takes me to where the employee is. My DM presents her with a shopping cart full of returns that need to go back and asks her sweetly to “empty the basket for us.” Not five minutes later, we are walking through the store looking at planograms when we see an empty shopping cart next to a shelf piled with random merchandise, the same merchandise that we asked her to put away. The new girl is standing nearby looking — yes, just looking — at a section of wall. My DM calls her over and asks if she put this merchandise there. She replies that, yes, she was told to “empty the cart.” She says this as though we are the dumb ones and walks away, shaking her head. My boss stands with her mouth open, at a loss for words. She tells me give her until the end of the week. If there is no improvement, I’m to let her go

The next day is Sunday. We are only open from noon to five pm on Sundays and have a skeleton staff. I am off that day but I advise my weekend supervisor to have the new girl do some cleaning around the store. Surely she can’t screw up cleaning, right? Boy, was I wrong.

I come in the next morning. My weekend supervisor can’t look at me. My other employees look like they are excitedly waiting for something to happen. I am personally running late this day and the store is due to open in about 15 minutes.

My supervisor takes me aside and says, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I would have to babysit her through her shift.” I ask what happened. He tells me someone called out sick and he got caught up on cash and left the new girl alone from eleven am until the store closed at five. He then takes me to the toy aisle. Keep in mind, it is Christmas season and most of our sales are toy items from this huge section. I turn the corner and almost pass out.

The entire toy section is in shambles. My new girl apparently decided that the toy aisle was in need of rearranging. Toys are all over the floor. Hooks filled with merchandise are on the floors and sitting on shelves. Some shelves were removed and are either leaning against other shelves or simply laying on the floor. Merchandise was moved to all random spots, some shoved in too tight, others with massive gaps between them. Shelves are on crooked, and hooks are overfilled with heavy items and on the verge of snapping off. The floor is littered with hooks, shelf brackets, ladders, empty toy packages, and a ton of random toys.

This section is huge. It is two full aisles, as well as a quarter of the back wall. She has managed to disrupt the entire section.

Apparently, at five pm, she simply stopped what she was doing and clocked out. By the time they found her mess, it was too late and there was no way they were going to get it reset in time to clock out.

I end up having to take three employees off their duties for that day and shut down the section to customers due to safety concerns. From nine am to six pm, we work on resetting the section and get it pretty much back to a normal state. By this time, all the staff has heard about what happened and even those not working come in to shop so they can get a glimpse of the new girl’s work.

I send pictures to my DM so she can understand why I am not in the office, why our sales are down that day, and why other tasks aren’t done. She tells me to fire the girl and promises to never interfere again if I feel my staff isn’t working out.

Strangely, the new girl can’t understand what she did wrong, and really is surprised to be let go. Now I know why her hours were cut at her other job.

Worst week on the job I’ve ever had.

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