Keeping Abnormal Psychology At Arm’s Length

, , , , , , , | Learning | March 14, 2018

(My teacher shares this story that took place several years ago, when she was beginning to teach. Although she gives out study guides, she’s always been very strict with tests, and this was one of the reasons of why.)

Teacher: *as she’s passing out tests* “Take everything off of your desks besides your writing utensil. If you haven’t already, turn your phones off. Before I give you a test, you have to show me your hands. I already went over this last class, but I will reiterate: If I see you on your phone, you will get an automatic fail. If I see your book open or out, you will get an automatic fail. If I see anything written on your hands, you will fail. If I suspect you of cheating at all, I will rip up your test and fail you. Is that clear? Are there any questions before you begin?”

(A student sitting in the front row, practically beside her, raises his hand.)

Teacher: “Yes?”

Student: *somewhat smugly* “You mentioned if they wrote on their hands. You forgot about if they wrote the answer on their arms.”

(She thinks the statement is a bit odd, as she will be watching her students to make sure they aren’t cheating, anyway, but thinks that’s fair to include.)

Teacher: “Hmm, good point. I guess I hadn’t thought about that. Would you care to roll up your sleeves for me to check?”

Student: *goes white and withdraws hand* “Uh… No?”

Teacher: “…”

(Turns out, the same student had written answers all over his arms. How he thought he would get away with that during the test, let alone pointing it out to the teacher at all, was baffling. As a Psychology professor, however, she found it oddly fitting or at least incredibly interesting that this flawed logic was present in her class of Abnormal Psychology. The student still failed, obviously.)

You’re Not Born To Do This

, , , , | Learning | March 10, 2018

I have just turned 15, which is the minimum age to get your driver’s permit in my state. However, I need to take a written test based on the driver’s manual, and I’m a bit stressed out by this. My grandmother drives me to the DMV and tries to calm me down while I fill out the initial paperwork and turn over my birth certificate to the staff. The staff give me the rundown of all the rules, and then direct me to the computer with the test all set up.

The first thing the test asks for is confirmation of my personal information. No problem; I can do that. I put in my full name and my date of birth. I click the button to proceed, but get bounced back to the information page. Confused, I re-enter the information and try again. Again, I click the button to move on to the actual test, but again, it doesn’t let me. A window pops up saying that I have failed the test and need to speak with DMV staff.

I head back to the main desk, trying not to freak out. The woman behind the desk is just as confused as I am, since the computer is saying that I have failed, but is also saying that I didn’t answer any of the content questions. As we start to go through the forms I filled out to make sure information isn’t missing, I discover that I have written down the wrong date for my birthday; the month and year are correct, but I had, for some reason, written down the wrong day. I get some weird looks for that, but my birth certificate confirms the right day, and I am able to take (and pass) the test.

I was the only one in my group of friends to fail the test for getting my birthday wrong.

Don’t Go Seeking Answers You Won’t Like

, , , , | Learning | February 14, 2018

(This is a story that my sociology teacher likes to tell us before we take a test, to help us shake off some stress. We have yet to see proof of whether it’s true or not, but, given some of the idiocy I’ve seen in this school, I wouldn’t be surprised. The students are taking a multiple-choice test, with a sheet in front of them displaying the questions and the answers they can pick from. After the time limit is up, each student swaps tests with someone on the other side of the room and marks the other person’s paper with a green pen as the teacher reads out the right answers. Just after marking, one student lets this gem slip:)

Student: “Hey! The answers were the same letters that were in bold on the sheet!”

(The class goes silent and looks at each other in confusion, then at the sheets they used. None of them have anything highlighted in bold.)

Teacher: “What?”

Student: “Look! On my sheet, question one has A in bold! A was the right answer!”

(The teacher walks over and determines that the student somehow got her hands on the answer key. Normally, the student would have to retake the test another time, and the teacher would mark it before the next lesson so they couldn’t have gotten a result through using the key. However, when getting the student’s test to throw it away, the teacher notices something odd with her grade. To pass and not have to retake it after school, students must get at least 23 out of 30 correct. The student in question got 16, so she would have failed, anyway. The teacher comments on this.)

Teacher: “You had the answer key. Why is your result so low?”

Student: “I just thought the printer had gone funny!”

Not Knowing The Answer Is The Answer

, , , | Learning | February 8, 2018

(I’m in high school Spanish. In general, I’m a good student and I get good grades, but I’m not great at Spanish, and I’m not prepared for this quiz we’re about to have. The teacher hands out the quizzes, and says to raise our hands when we’re done so she can collect them and we can start working on an in-class activity. After about two minutes, I raise my hand to turn in my quiz.)

Classmate: “D***! How did you finish so fast?”

Me: “Because I don’t know any of the answers.”

(My quiz was mostly blank. Staring at it wasn’t going to make me suddenly speak Spanish!)

Drowning In Hope

, , , , , | Hopeless | January 27, 2018

I am a swimming teacher. I just found out that one of my colleagues has suddenly passed away and that the family forgot to inform the club; we thought she was still recovering from a mild illness. I’ve known her for about 20 years, first as her student and later as her colleague. [Teacher] was a quirky one — for example, she would periodically dress in 100% pink, socks and shoes included — but she was a great teacher. If any kid was considered absolutely hopeless, she could manage to turn him or her into a decent or even good swimmer. I suddenly remembered an incident from about ten years ago.

We had a group of great swimmers going in for an exam. The kids were all around age 15, and had several certificates and diplomas. My dad, their teacher, decided to give them a special exam — a part they could not fail — and asked two parents to be drowning victims. The parents didn’t tell anyone about it, not even their son, who was in the exam. All teachers were informed… but my father forgot to inform [Teacher].

The parents pretended to fight on the side of the pool and “suddenly fell into the water.” They started splashing around, and we suddenly had a drowning situation. Their son was most confused, because he knew his parents could swim. He quickly realized it was part of the test, however, and was embarrassed.

However, because we forgot to inform [Teacher], she immediately went into lifeguard-mode, jumped into the pool, and started saving the parents. We tried to call her out of the pool, but [Teacher] wouldn’t faze easily; people needed to be saved.

When [Teacher] finally understood it was just part of the exam, she got out. One of the members of the board tried to get her out as well, but because of the chaos, he fell in, as well. To this day, my dad and the member of the board won’t tell me if this was planned or not.

The exam turned into a complete chaos, with [Teacher] shouting instructions from the side, three “victims,” kids trying to figure out how to save them, and several other teachers shouting to [Teacher] to just let the kids do their thing.

Like I said, the kids couldn’t fail and it was good test for them all, us included. And it was nice to know that [Teacher] would never just ask, just do. If this hadn’t been a test, these two parents would’ve been safe and sound, thanks to her quick thinking.

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