Testing Out The Hiding Places

, , , , | Learning | August 3, 2018

(In France, teachers grade on a scale of 0 to 20, on which 0 is the worst grade, and 20 is the best. One day I get a nine in English. Upset with this score, I hide my test in my desk, under my textbooks. Several years after, my mother wants to replace my desk and finds my test.)

Mother: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes?”

Mother: *laughing* “Why did you hide such a good grade?”

(I looked at my test. My grade was nine… out of ten! I had forgotten that my teacher preferred to give two little tests in the same week on scale of 0 to 10, rather than a big test graded on the scale 0 to 20. I had let that bug me for years!)

Doesn’t Know Numbers Or Words

, , , , | Learning | July 9, 2018

(Our math teacher is on maternity leave and we have a substitute. We’ve had multiple occasions to doubt his skills, but the test he assigns is the last straw. The test consists of four exercises, of which one is marked “optional.”)

Student: “Excuse me, prof, I have a question regarding how you graded the test. Those who did any two exercises and the fourth one got a passing grade, and those who did the first three exercises failed. Why would you do that?”

Teacher: *looks at student as if he never saw a weirder animal* “Isn’t it obvious? The fourth exercise is optional!”

(More students start voicing their opinion, until the teacher has had enough.)

Teacher: “Cut this out! What’s so hard to understand? The exercise is worth four points because it’s more difficult than the others, and I marked it ‘optional’ because you were supposed to solve it!”


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A Questionable Approach To Questions

, , , , | Learning | June 1, 2018

(I have ADHD, which leads to some interesting test-taking strategies. I’m outside the exam room, talking to some friends before the exam.)

Friend #1: “I’m just worried about running out of time!”

Me: “I always finish half an hour early.”

Friend #1: “What the hell? How do you do that?”

Me: “If the questions are too long I won’t process any of it, so I just guess and move on. It’s better to just guess and move on than waste ten minutes trying to understand a single question.”

([Friend #1] gets a shocked look on their face as [Friend #2] comes along.)

Friend #1: *to [Friend #2]* “Don’t let [My Name] tell you any of his testing strategies; they’ll just stress you out!

Keeping Score Of The Cheating

, , , , | Learning | April 2, 2018

(I am a high school sophomore, and this is my first year in a public school. I had been homeschooled previously. We are taking a very important vocabulary test, and I am writing my answers on a separate piece of paper so that I can determine my score after the test, as our teachers are slow at grading. I am very good at vocabulary, so I go to turn in my paper first, and I am holding the other paper. I don’t realize, but it probably looks like I have been cheating.)

Boy: “Is [My Name] cheating?”

(Everyone looks up. I am confused, until my friend facepalms and gestures to the paper.)

Me: “What? Oh! No, no, this is, this isn’t…”

(The teacher takes the paper to look at what is on it. As I look at it again, I realize it definitely looks like a cheat sheet. I think I am in deep trouble, but…)

Teacher: “Calm down, everyone; it’s just a story.” *looks at me seriously* “How many times do I have to tell you to save the fanfiction for your own time?”

Me: *stunned* “Uh… A lot. Sorry.”

(She gives me the paper back. For fifteen minutes, I am puzzled, as there is absolutely no way this “cheat sheet” can be mistaken as a story. After class, the teacher calls me over and asks what I was really doing; I explain it to her.)

Me: “Thanks, by the way… Why’d you do that?”

Teacher: “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t need to cheat on this. Even if you did, I feel like you’re too smart to just let yourself be caught like that.”

Keeping Abnormal Psychology At Arm’s Length

, , , , , , , | Learning | March 14, 2018

(My teacher shares this story that took place several years ago, when she was beginning to teach. Although she gives out study guides, she’s always been very strict with tests, and this was one of the reasons of why.)

Teacher: *as she’s passing out tests* “Take everything off of your desks besides your writing utensil. If you haven’t already, turn your phones off. Before I give you a test, you have to show me your hands. I already went over this last class, but I will reiterate: If I see you on your phone, you will get an automatic fail. If I see your book open or out, you will get an automatic fail. If I see anything written on your hands, you will fail. If I suspect you of cheating at all, I will rip up your test and fail you. Is that clear? Are there any questions before you begin?”

(A student sitting in the front row, practically beside her, raises his hand.)

Teacher: “Yes?”

Student: *somewhat smugly* “You mentioned if they wrote on their hands. You forgot about if they wrote the answer on their arms.”

(She thinks the statement is a bit odd, as she will be watching her students to make sure they aren’t cheating, anyway, but thinks that’s fair to include.)

Teacher: “Hmm, good point. I guess I hadn’t thought about that. Would you care to roll up your sleeves for me to check?”

Student: *goes white and withdraws hand* “Uh… No?”

Teacher: “…”

(Turns out, the same student had written answers all over his arms. How he thought he would get away with that during the test, let alone pointing it out to the teacher at all, was baffling. As a Psychology professor, however, she found it oddly fitting or at least incredibly interesting that this flawed logic was present in her class of Abnormal Psychology. The student still failed, obviously.)


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