Some People Only Desire One Breast

, , , , | Working | April 16, 2019

(I am shopping in a grocery store and want to get some chicken breasts for dinner at the butchery. Because I only have to make dinner for myself, I want to get just a few. They are on sale and a nice worker is quick to help me.)

Me: “Hey, could I get one of the chicken breasts, please?”

Worker: “Yes, no problem!” *grabs four pieces and puts them in the plastic bag*

Me: “Oh, I wanted just one, please.”

Worker: “No problem!” *puts one of the pieces away and goes to put the three on the scale*

Me: “No, please. I said one, not three.”

Worker: “But no one buys only one. They are on sale.”

Me: “But I really need just one. Could I get it, please?”

(She sighs heavily, looks at me, and pulls two pieces out of the bag in a dramatic fashion.)

Worker: “You will miss out on a great deal by just buying one.”

Me: “I think I will get over that, thanks.”

(I grabbed my bag as I could hear her say, “Who just buys one?”)

Hide To Save Your Hide

, , , | Right | April 10, 2019

(I work the hotel bar during a wedding, serving the guests who are not part of the wedding party. There is one drunk guy hanging around the bar all night. The wedding ends around 5:00 am. There are four of us working, [Colleague #1] being the only man. I’m about to leave the ballroom where the wedding took place to bring empty glasses to the dishwasher at the bar. I start helping with cleanup, as no one is ordering anything anymore.)

Colleague #1: “Hey, don’t! Stay inside the ballroom; that guy has been asking for you!”

Me: “What guy?”

Colleague #1: “The drunk one. He has been asking [Colleagues #2 & #3] about you.”

Me: “I can’t give him another drink. He’s had enough already.”

Colleague #1: “He’s asking when you’ll be back, when you leave, if you live alone… Just stay inside, please.”

(I stay in the room for as long as I can. When I finally want to go to our back office, I am intercepted by [Colleague #1] again.)

Colleague #1: “Sorry, but just stay there. He’s now running all over the floor searching for you. I’m in the adjacent room to disassemble the buffet; call me if you need me.”

(I was stuck in the ballroom for more than an hour until the guy finally gave up and went up to his room. My colleague still insisted on accompanying me to my car that morning. Hopefully, this will remain the only time something like this happens, especially with no manager on site.)

Return Of The Shipping

, , , | Working | April 7, 2019

(The German parcel service has “shipping stations,” automated PO boxes for sending and receiving parcels. I have a return label from an online retailer to send some of what I ordered back and get a refund, but I’m unsure if those labels work with shipping stations, so I enter a post office and post the parcel manually. This exchange happens after handing in the parcel.)

Me: “Excuse me. I was wondering if shipping stations can be used for returns?”

Employee: *pause* “Shipping stations.”

Me: “Yes?”

Employee: *pause* “For returns.”

Me: “Yes?”

Employee: “Think about that for a minute. Should be fairly obvious.”

Me: “Sorry, that might be a stupid question, but if I could figure it out by myself, I wouldn’t have to ask.”

Employee: *in a rather condescending tone* “Of course you can’t use shipping stations for returns. Those are for receiving shipments, not posting them.”

Me: “Oh? Okay. Thank you.”

(Unsure of whether I merely had had about twenty very vivid dreams of posting parcels at shipping stations, I checked online. Not only do shipping stations allow the posting of parcels, but they do allow returns. I don’t mind underpaid employees getting things wrong, but please don’t try making me look like an idiot just because you don’t know what services you provide.)

Unfiltered Story #145458

, , | Unfiltered | March 26, 2019

I’m at a restaurant with a friend. I like hot food and therefore order something labeled “extra spicy”.

Waitress: Are you sure about that? It’s really spicy.
Me: Oh, yeah, I really enjoy spicy food, so actually that’s great!

After a short time she returns with our drinks and a small dish with a sample of the sauce from my order, looking apprehensive.

Waitress: Would you mind trying it? A lot of people ordered this tonight and got really upset because of how spicy it is.
Me: Oh, sure. *tastes the food which is kinda spicy, but does not exactly make my mouth burn* Wow, that’s great.
Waitress: (relieved) Okay, thanks! We’ll prepare your order as soon as possible. It’s just that so many people complained…

The food was great and the waitress was really nice, but the whole thing did leave me wondering how presumptous you have to be to order extra spicy food and then complain that it’s spicy!

I Get Paid To Do This All Day

, , | Right | March 17, 2019

(I’m standing second in line at a customer service desk.)

Customer: “What do you mean, I can’t return this?”

Employee: *calmly* “As I already explained to you twice, we have a thirty-day return policy. You bought this four months ago.”

Customer: *outraged* “This is unacceptable! I will not go away until I get my money back! I can do this for hours.”

Employee: *starting to grin*

Customer: *now furious* “STOP IT! WHY ARE YOU GRINNING?!”

Employee: “Unlike to you, I get paid for standing here and pretending to listen to you while otherwise I really would have to, you know, work and do stuff. Please… go on!”

(The woman grabs her clothes and bolts away in anger, mumbling curse words.)

Me: “Dude, that was awesome! Mind if I borrow that line?”

Employee: *laughing* “No, please do. Works every time! And how else can I help you today?”

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