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Stacks Of Parenting

, , , , , | Right | October 8, 2021

A mother with a four-ish-year-old boy is at the register and wants to check out. While I start to scan the items, the boy starts wandering around.

Customer: “Hey, [Boy], I told you to stay at my side.”

The boy does not listen and finds a stack of shopping baskets.

Customer: “[Boy], come back here! Now!”  

Still, the kid does not listen and starts to climb the baskets. Not surprisingly, the stack tumbles and comes crashing down, burying the boy beneath it. I jump up to look after the kid.

Customer: “No, please don’t.”

I stop and wait to see what the customer is doing.

Customer: *To the boy* “[Boy], did you hurt yourself?”

Boy: “Yes, it hurts.”

Customer: “Does anything hurt badly?”

Boy: “No.”

Customer: “So, pick yourself up and start to stack those baskets again!”

Me: “Oh, there’s no need. I can clean that up once we’re finished. There is no one else in line at the moment.”

Customer: “Thank you, but he has to learn to clean up his own mess and stick up for his mistakes, or else he’ll become spoiled and weak.”

While the boy reluctantly started stacking the baskets, she finished the transaction. Afterward, the customer went to her son, examined him to make sure he really didn’t hurt himself, and helped him to stack the remaining baskets. He was laughing again as they left the store.

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People Like This Shouldn’t Be Allowed Out In Public

, , , , , | Friendly | October 7, 2021

I was with my friend, who is black. We boarded a bus and randomly picked a pair of empty seats. A guy who was seated across and about two seats down from us pulled down his mask and snapped:

Guy: “We already have [health crisis]; we don’t need your AIDS and ebola along with it, monkey boy!”

And he moved all the way to the back of the bus.

I tried to comfort my friend and told him not to let idiots like that get the best of him. It was still clear he was very agitated and needed to cool off.

We got off at a station and moments later came across the guy walking ahead of us. My friend made a point to roughly bump into him and continue walking. I quietly advised him that this guy was accomplishing exactly what he intended in the first place, and I led him over to a bench so he could regain himself.

About a minute later, this guy came stalking up to us, ripping off his mask, and looking ready to eat melted steel. My friend immediately stood up.

My friend isn’t necessarily that large — six feet tall and about 200-something-odd pounds — but there is something about his eyes when he’s pissed that makes you stop and has effectively backed off people much larger than himself. It’s the definition of “death glare,” and the fact that he was wearing a bandana as a mask at the time only boosted it.

This guy stopped in his tracks, stared at my friend, and slowly backed away, walking away several yards. He then spent a solid five minutes pacing around in a circle, taking deep breaths, swaying his head from side to side.

He turned and then began approaching us again with a “Let’s get some!” look on his face. My friend stood back up again, and again this guy froze up, slightly opened his mouth, and visually tried to move forward, but he couldn’t. He retreated again for another silent self-pep talk.

The same scenario repeated again, and as he retreated again, I yelled after him:

Me: “Look, face it. You’re a coward, like the rest of them. You wouldn’t take him on even if he were in a wheelchair! Just go away!”

He just flipped us off with both hands and walked away, and we laughed hysterically.

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Jesus Died So You Could Troubleshoot

, , , | Right | October 7, 2021

My friend and I are doing freelance programming as a side job. One job is for an office of the Catholic Church. We both are Christians; we usually refrain from hitting people over the head with it, but we won’t deny it if asked. This being the church, the subject has come up and been dealt with.

They know that, for us, Good Friday and Easter Sunday are the biggest holidays of the year. Also, in our country, there are a couple of bank holidays around Easter, so family and friends gather and celebrate. It is much like Thanksgiving in the US.

Shortly before Good Friday, we get this email.

Church: “I assume you do not have much to do during the holidays, so here is a list of bugs and wishes for you to work on.”

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Winner Of The “Father Of The Beer” Award

, , , | Right | September 24, 2021

I’m working concessions, trying to get my line down as quickly as possible. Two boys, maybe thirteen and fifteen years old, order two popcorn/drink combos, one with a soda, the other with a beer.

In Germany, you’re allowed to buy some “soft alcohol” (e.g. beer) when you’re sixteen, but of course, we’re supposed to confirm, and even though the older boy might be sixteen and just looked younger, I’m not so sure.

Me: “Can I see your ID?”

Boy: “Oh, it’s not for me; it’s for our dad. He’s already inside, saving our seats.”

This makes me suspicious. We have assigned seating — no need to save any seats — and what father would send his underaged son to get him some beer from the concession stand when the laws are pretty well-known?

Me: “Sorry, then I can’t sell you this beer. It’s against the law. I need to see that you’re over sixteen. Your father will have to buy it himself.”

The boy seems disappointed but nice about it. They both take their other stuff and leave. Two minutes later, a middle-aged man comes over, skips the whole line, and waves his ID in my face. He has a passive-aggressive smile that looks more like a snarl.

Man: *In a sarcastic, sickly-sweet voice* “So you need my ID, too?”

I blink at him in confusion for a few seconds in which he still bares his teeth at me. Finally, it clicks.

Me: “Well, I can see that you are over thirty.”

He just scoffed, still smiling, threw his money on the counter, took the bottle out of my hand, and storms off, leaving me utterly confused as to why he was so angry that his underaged son DIDN’T break the law by buying alcohol.

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Serving Up Nothing But Smiles

, , , , | Right | September 20, 2021

I’m sitting in a small restaurant I frequent when a family of four walks in and sits down at a table. It’s a father, mother, and two girls between seven and ten years old. The younger of the girls looks rather grumpy.

After a moment, the waiter comes and asks for their drink order. When he asks the younger girl what she would like to drink, she just makes a face and sticks her tongue out at him. Her mother is just about to scold her, while her father apologizes and tries to explain that she has been grumpy all day, although they don’t really know why.

The waiter, however, pretty much ignores them, and without missing a beat…

Waiter: “I’m sorry, but we currently don’t have any bllll.” *Sticks out his tongue* “We also don’t have any gnnnn.” *Makes a pouting face* “And our brrrrr is out, too.” *Makes a cross-eyed face*

By then, the girl was actually giggling and her mood had completely turned around.

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