No License To Bill

, , | Right | February 25, 2021

I am working in a small supermarket. A man comes to me with a beer can and one can of sparkling wine.

Me: “That would be 3,33 €.”

Customer: “I’ll pay with card.”

He gives me a card that’s not signed on the back. As per policy, I ask him for his license.

Customer: “I don’t have it with me; it’s my wife’s card. She’s waiting in the car.”

I then look at the name of the cardholder and see it’s a female name.

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use this card unless your wife shows me her license.”

The customer begins negotiating with me because it’s only 3€ and nobody would steal a card for this amount. I see that he won’t understand and step away from the till to call my boss, so she can explain it again and maybe convince him. By the time she’s there, the customer is on his way out to get his wife. My boss sees this and tells me to make them show me a license and it’ll be fine.

Me: *To his wife* “The card is not signed.”

Customer’s Wife: “Okay, let me sign it.”

Me: “No, I need to see a license.”

The two customers begin to argue in another language. She then leaves to get her license.

Customer: “It’s a Polish license. Can you even read Polish?”

I shake my head.

Customer: “Thought so.”

The woman came back and showed her ID, which matched the name on the card, and left. I let the customer pay with his wife’s card and sent him on his way. My boss saw that this thing clearly upset me and assured me that I had done everything right. At least it was a Friday!

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Read The Room… And The Sign

, , , , , | Working | February 22, 2021

Our company has been bought up by another company. As of January 1, 2021, we’ll get all new systems, so they start training us “early” — in late November 2020. This means that some of us have a LOT of training to go through, at least two hours twice per week for different software and systems.

Due to the health crisis, the training takes place via video call. My colleagues next door, both adult women in their forties or fifties, have by far the most training scheduled. They put up a sign at their door that says, “Online training from [time] to [time]. Do not disturb!” every time they are in a video call.

Today, another colleague — male, in his early forties — comes into my office.

Colleague: “Hey, do the girls next door have remote training right now?”

Me: “I don’t know.”

Colleague: “There’s a sign on their door.”

Me: “Does it say that they have online training and to please not disturb?”

Colleague: “Yeah.”

Me: “…”

Colleague: “Should I go in and ask?”

I’m dumbfounded by this amount of ignorance, so I tell him the truth and decide to give him a little hint.

Me: “You shouldn’t. But if you tried, you probably wouldn’t get in anyway. They locked their door from the inside during yesterday’s training because too many people ignored the sign.”

Colleague: “What?! They locked their door yesterday?”

Me: “Yes.”

Colleague: “But why?”

Me: “Because… too many people ignored the sign that asked them not to be disturbed.”

Colleague: “Oh. So they locked their door so nobody would get in?”

He then left. I don’t know if he may have tried to go in there anyway.

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, , , , , , | Related | February 11, 2021

My mum, sister, and I have a cat. The cat gets fed every evening. Both my mum and my sister are out for the evening — separately — so I feed the cat. Then, I go upstairs into my room to play some video games.

An hour or so later, I hear my mum come home, and an hour after that, my sister. Suddenly, my sister storms upstairs and angrily asks why nobody has fed the cat yet.

Me: “I fed the cat!”

Mum: “Oh, so did I!”

Sister: “Oh, I did, too!”

It turns out that the cat had gobbled up her first portion and licked her bowl clean, and was so convincing in begging for more that my mum had assumed she hadn’t eaten yet and fed her, and then the cat did the same spiel with my sister! Since then, we always texted one another when the cat had been fed until my sister and I moved out.

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Keep Acting Like A Child And Maybe You’ll Be Treated Like One

, , , | Right | February 10, 2021

The library I work at recently had to put up signs reminding patrons that discrimination against any kind of minority will not be tolerated and will result in being banned from the building.

A middle-aged, Caucasian, male patron feels the need to approach us about these signs.

Patron: “Excuse me, but those signs about discrimination you posted — if you put something like that up, you need to actually heed what it says.”

Coworker: “What do you mean by that?”

Patron: “I’m being discriminated against here almost every day. Each time I want to use one of your computers I’m rudely told I need to go next door!”

Coworker: “Sir, our computers are reserved for children.”

Patron: “See? That’s exactly what I mean. You are a public library. How can you say you’re not discriminating if you’re picking and choosing who gets to use your computers?”

Coworker: “The ‘no discrimination’ policy is about protecting minorities from being the objects of hate speech in this building. It has nothing to do with using our computers.”

Patron: “But you are being hypocritical if you’re not letting everyone use the library computers.”

Coworker: “You are absolutely welcome to use the computers in the rest of the building. There are ten on this floor and ten more upstairs.”

Patron: “But they’re always occupied! These are vacant!”

Coworker: “They are right now, and they’re reserved for children.”

Patron:How is that fair?

Coworker: “Sir, this is the kids’ library.”

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Not Ringing Any Bells

, , , , | Friendly | February 10, 2021

I live on the ground floor of an apartment building. It’s around midnight and I’m in bed. Suddenly, my doorbell rings. Not expecting anyone or anything, especially not at this time, I figure whoever is ringing wants someone else in the building — maybe a boyfriend or girlfriend working late or something — and just missed the right bell. 

But then my bell rings again. I roll out of bed and pad over to the intercom.

Me: “Yes?”

Guy: “Yeah, sorry, I rang the wrong bell.”

Me: “What, twice in a row?”

Guy: “Yeah, sorry. Can you let me in, though?”

Me: *Pauses* “No? Because I have no clue who you are?!”

Guy: “All right, then.”

Bewildered, I went back to bed. A few moments later, I heard the front door open and someone going upstairs. Seems like the third time was the charm.

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