Stacking Up The Bogus Complaints

, , , , | Related | February 17, 2020

(I am out shopping with my sister-in-law, who has a huge temper and is easily offended. She wants to buy a small plastic tub for her son, my nephew, and is currently looking at some that are on a higher shelf. A store associate notices her trying to unstack them and comes over.)

Employee: *very politely* “Excuse me. Would you like some help with that?”

Sister-In-Law: *politely back* “Oh, no, thanks. I’ve got it.”

Employee: “Okay! Let me know if you need anything.” *walks away*

Sister-In-Law: *to me* “Can you believe that?!”

Me: *confused pause* “What?”

Sister-In-Law: “That was so rude! Why isn’t she just helping me? And it wouldn’t even be an issue if these weren’t so high on the g**d*** shelves!”

(I am speechless. She continues to struggle with the tubs until she separates them, and then she decides she doesn’t even want one, so she tries to put them back on the shelf with difficulty.)

Employee: *notices her struggling and comes back, with a smile* “Can I help you with that? Or I can put them away if you have decided that you don’t want any of them.”

Sister-In-Law: *smiling back* “Oh, no, I’ve got it. Thanks so much!”

(As soon as the employee leaves, my sister-in-law turns to me.)

Sister-In-Law: “What horrible customer service! I can’t believe she didn’t pick those up for me!”

Me: *dumbfounded* “She offered to help you twice.”

Sister-In-Law: “Yeah, rudely. Like, I know you’re miserable to work here, but can you please be polite? And seriously, why would she put those tubs up so high? So dumb!”

Me: “Umm, [Sister-In-Law], she was polite and very helpful. And I don’t think she personally stacked those tubs there.”

Sister-In-Law: *mumbling* “Didn’t help at all…”

(She is so bothered by the experience that we leave without buying anything. When we get back to her house, I overhear her telling my brother — her husband — the story from the other room.)

Sister-In-Law: “You should have been there, babe. The store clerk was so rude to me! This b**** refused to help me! And then, at the end, she got this snotty attitude and was like, “You obviously can’t lift those yourself; just let me do it,” and I was like, why was it up there in the first place? I wouldn’t have needed help with it if she knew how to stock a d*** shelf.”

Me: *coming in* “Woah, woah, woah. That’s not how it happened.”

(I explain how polite the clerk was and how she tried to help [Sister-In-Law] twice, but that [Sister-In-Law] would not let her.)

Brother: “Yeah, [Sister-In-Law] has been doing that kind of thing a lot lately…”

(They divorced a few years later. My brother is with a much nicer woman now.)

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Big Brother Is Watching You

, , , , , , | Related | February 11, 2020

(My husband’s brother moves in with us as he is unable to work due to medical issues. I have been joking with my friends that it is like I have two husbands, and one pretty much demands to know where I am going, who I am going with, etc. Basically, it’s like 20 questions if I go out, even when I’m working. My husband has never been like that. One afternoon, I get home from work after doing a task that was very dusty. I quickly shower and get changed before I head to the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea. Usually, I have tea first. My brother-in-law enters the hospital and demands:)

Brother: “Where have you been all day? You said you were working; you aren’t dressed for work, so where did you go?”

Me: “What the h***? I changed my clothes!”

Brother: “Oh… Okay.” *leaves the room*

(I speak to my husband and ask him to talk to his brother because I am getting fed up with it.)

Husband: “It’s not just you; he does it to me, too.”

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Wasn’t Alerted To Her Character Death

, , , , | Right | February 10, 2020

(It’s about three months after my mother-in-law, who is estranged from all her kids and grandchildren, died. I get a call from a medical alert company. This is a company you pay a fee to and you wear a bracelet or necklace with a button that, when pressed, has medical help dispatched to your home. The rep who calls me asks if I am the daughter-in-law. I confirm and ask why he is calling me.)

Company Representative: “Well, we lost contact with your mother-in-law’s medical alert device and wanted to make sure she was okay.”

Me: “Well, considering she’s been dead for three months, I would have to say no.”

Company Representative: *stuttering* “Oh, I… I… am so sorry. I… I hate making calls like this. Again, I am so sorry.”

Me: “You would be the only one.”

Company Representative: “Huh?”

Me: “Look. The woman was an abusive alcoholic. Frankly, there isn’t a person in the family who is sad the evil woman is gone.”

Company Representative: *silence*

Me: “Now, if you are calling about an unpaid bill…” *which is the real reason I figured they called*

Company Representative: “Normally, under these circumstances, we wouldn’t even discuss that, but since you did bring it up. We do need to get the equipment back because she was leasing it.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t help you. None of her kids or family has a key to the house. She left everything to some shyster lawyer who is supposed to sell whatever she had, which wasn’t much, and give the money to charity.”

(I gave the man the lawyer’s number and told him not to call again or bother any other family members. I felt kind of sorry for the guy but some family members said I gave him a great story to tell his coworkers.)

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What A Hack!

, , , | Related | January 23, 2020

My father-in-law is in his 70s and, as such, is not very tech-savvy, but he does have a laptop and a smartphone, and he uses email. My job is in IT support, so he knows he can always call me with any IT problems.

One day, he called me and told me that his email had been hacked. Therefore, he had already taken the precaution of changing his Microsoft password and calling up his ISP and getting them to help him change his Wi-Fi password, router admin password, the security questions and answers on his ISP account, and his Google account password. He was very proud of having done this.

I asked how he had been hacked? He said he had received an email from one of his friends asking whether he was interested in an upcoming hiking trip. He had used his phone to reply and wrote, “Not this time. Regards, Derek”. His friend saw something funny at the bottom of the email and then replied, “I think you’ve been hacked!”, with a winking emoji. Derek takes everything literally and he did not realise the friend was joking, so he embarked on the course of action that then took me a couple of hours to fix, including getting his laptop and phone to reconnect to the Wi-Fi, setting up his wireless printer again, re-inputting his Google and Microsoft passwords in his laptop and phone, and making sure everything was working okay. All of this was while I was trying to patiently deal with someone who doesn’t understand technical IT words, and trying to calm him down after his stressful “hack attack.”

Eventually, I found the source of the “hacked email” claim. When he had typed his message to his friend on his phone, he had mistyped “Derek” and instead typed “Serek,” which autocorrected to “Serena.” Therefore, his friend received a message signed, “Regards, Serena,” thought it was funny, and joked that Derek had been hacked. *sigh*

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Didn’t Clean The Log Cabin When You Were Building A Log Cabin

, , , , | Related | January 12, 2020

(My in-laws own a cabin at the lake. One summer, my 21-year-old daughter asks if she and her friends can borrow it for a long weekend.)

Mother-In-Law: “That’s fine, but there are a couple of things you need to promise me. Keep the noise down; don’t disturb our neighbours.”

Daughter: “No problem, Grandma.”

Mother-In-Law: “Also, you need to clean up after yourselves. Leave the cabin looking exactly as you found it. Got it? Otherwise, I won’t lend it to you again.”

Daughter: “Absolutely. I promise.”

(After the weekend is over, I ask how it went.)

Daughter: “Fine! We had a few drinks each evening, but we stayed inside the cabin, and we didn’t make any noise. On the morning we left, the three of us cleaned the place from top to bottom, and it looked great.”

(Later that day, the phone rings. It is my mother-in-law.)

Husband: “I hear that [Daughter] and her friends had a great time at the cabin. Thanks so much for lending it to them.”

Mother-In-Law: “Uh-huh.”

Husband: “Is something wrong?”

Mother-In-Law: “I told her that she had to leave the place clean. I’m not happy, and I’m thinking seriously about not lending it to her again.”

Husband: “But… she said that they left it spic-and-span. What didn’t they clean?”

Mother-In-Law: “The underside of the toilet seat.”

Husband: *expectant pause* “And?”

Mother-In-Law: “That’s it.”

Husband: “That’s it? They only missed one thing that I don’t think I would have remembered to clean?”

Mother-In-Law: “Regardless, it wasn’t cleaned. I’ll have to think long and hard before I let her borrow the cabin again.”

(She eventually relented, but sheesh. There’s being house-proud, and then there’s THAT.)

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