Dinnae Ken Wheat Yer Sayin’

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2020

I’ve recently moved from Ireland to Scotland and have taken a job in a sub shop.

Customer: “Can I get a six-inch on wheat?”

Me: “Sure, what would you like on it?”

Customer: “No, I want wheat bread.”

Me: “This is wheat bread.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. I want wheat bread.”

Me: *Points at our sign* “These are our bread options. As you can see, this is the wheat bread. Do you want one of the wheat variations?”

Customer: “No. I want wheat bread.”

Before I can respond, my Scottish coworker pops her head out from the back.

Coworker: “[My Name], he’s saying he wants white bread! I don’t think you’re used to our accent yet.”

Customer: “Yes! Exactly! Wheat bread.”

Me: “Oh, my God. I’m so sorry!”

Customer: “Nae bother. We got there in the end.”

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Have You Tried Turning Your Brain Off And On Again?

, , , , | Right | December 16, 2020

I’m the stupid one in this story. For the last two months, I’ve been having issues with my Wi-Fi; my phone has barely been connecting to it, and even when it does connect, I can’t seem to load anything. I get an email from my provider near the start of this about them doing work around my area, so I should expect problems for the next few weeks, but after two months of problems, I phone to see what’s going on.

Me: “Hi. I’ve been having issues with my Wi-Fi. I know there’s been work going on around my area, so I was wondering when that will be done and everything will be back to normal?”

Tech Support: “Okay, I’m looking here and it looks like the work has been finished. Can you connect to your Wi-Fi?”

Me: “Yes, sometimes, but I can’t seem to load anything when I’m connected.”

Tech Support: “Okay, what do the lights on your router look like?”

Me: “The main light is blue; I don’t see any other lights.”

Tech Support: “Okay, can you go ahead and unplug the router for me for thirty seconds?”

Me: “Oh, my God, I’m such an idiot. I’ve been dealing with this for so long and I forgot to do the most basic thing!”

I unplug the router, wait, and plug it back in, and everything works again.

Me: “Well, looks like you can put me down as another silly customer that phones tech support for something she could have fixed herself.”

Tech Support: “Well, ma’am, you didn’t shout at me, so you’ve got that going for you, at least. I hope you have a pleasant evening.”

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Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 9

, , , , , | Right | December 6, 2020

I work in a car and bike part store. I am female and all my coworkers are male. The manager and I are standing at the back of the store.

Customer: *To me* “Can you please tell me where the car bulbs are?”

Me: “Of course, sir. They’re just over there.”

Customer: “Thanks.”

He brings out a small tool and turns to show it to my manager.

Customer: “Mate, could you tell me what sort of fitting I would need for this part?”

My manager knows the answer but is unable to believe how blatant the guy is.

Manager: “Sorry, no idea. You’ll need to ask my colleague.” *Points at me*

This sort of thing happened all the time. Special shout-out to all my guy teammates who would always plead ignorance and send sexist customers back to me!

Related:
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 8
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 7
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 6
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 5
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 4

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New Phone, Same Old Bosses

, , , , , | Working | November 2, 2020

I recently became a student and I need extra cash, so I apply for numerous jobs that are near campus and where I live. After weeks of getting nowhere, I get an interview for a waitressing position at a rather well-known Chinese buffet restaurant who also does specialised orders. It is in an area that was a little difficult for me to get to — two trains and the underground plus a twenty-minute walk — but I simply agree to it until I can find somewhere closer.

A few days later, I have the interview and I clearly make an impression as the boss asks me to stay and have a trial shift to see how I get on. I will be paid half of what I would be paid if I were to be hired.

A few days later, I receive the followup call confirming I’ve been successful and I will be starting the following week. Due to restrictions with classes and such, I am placed on weekend shifts and two short shifts through the week. It’s not ideal, but I’m taking what I can get. My boss draws up our schedules and sends them in a group chat via a texting app. I have said app, but I never use it.

One week into starting, I am stressed because I’ve never done waitressing before, but I am glad to just be working. But then, a customer trips and spills their drink over me during my break — and on my phone. I dry it off the best I can, but it is obvious that the liquid has gotten inside, so I stick it in rice and leave it to hopefully get the liquid out. I make my boss aware and he confirms he will help cover the cost of the damage if my insurance decides to not pay out, considering I wasn’t at fault. 

This restaurant only has three full-time employees: my boss, the owner, and one waitress. Other than that, there are just part-time students, and there are a lot of us. We are on a rotation so we work three out of four weeks a month; that’s why I don’t think anything of what happens next.

As I am leaving, I once again make my boss aware that my phone is not working. I ask him to inform me via email if I’m scheduled, as I have no way to access the app without my phone, and he confirms he will do so.

When I receive no schedule through a method I have access to, I assume it is the week I won’t be scheduled for and think nothing of it. Luckily, my insurance pays out and I get a new handset ordered that will be arriving the next day.

Once I’ve synced everything up, though, I see numerous missed calls through the app and on my caller log, and dozens of messages. I read through them all, and most are my boss furiously asking why I am refusing to answer. I told him multiple times my phone was broken and he said he would email me if I was scheduled, which he did not do.

Instead of calling him directly, I decide to make a trip to the restaurant as the language my boss used in the messages immediately made me want to resign. When I walk in, he turns a weird purple and red shade and takes me into the back room before yelling at me. Only after I’ve been sitting there for a few minutes does he run out of breath, and I seize my chance to speak.

Me: “So, you are annoyed with me because I didn’t turn up for my shifts, which I never knew I was scheduled for, because you sent them to me on an app I had no access to because my phone broke? Something I made you aware of a few times, at which point you gave audible confirmation that you would send me my shifts via email?”

His face goes through multiple colours at this as the owner is watching from the side, clearly about to fire me for neglecting the schedule. Now he is finding out I didn’t neglect it because I didn’t know I was scheduled.

Boss: “I didn’t know your phone was broke—”

Me: “Yes, you did. Because it happened as a customer tripped and spilled their drink on me whilst I was on break. And I told you it was in rice to try and soak out the liquid. You even said you would help cover the cost of a new handset in case my insurance refused to pay out.”

He tries to deny that this happened, but a simple look at CCTV and asking the guy who was scheduled with me at that time confirms this is how it played out. 

Me: “So either you weren’t listening to me the whole day or you were trying to make me look bad. I quit. The language you used on me when I opened those messages this morning after only receiving my new handset was disgusting and I don’t want to work for someone who treats his employees like that because you screwed up.”

He tried to defend himself a few times after this but the owner simply nodded at me to confirm I could leave and confirming he would not allow a bad reference when it came to potential new employers doing background checks. I found out two months later that my boss was fired himself for not changing a schedule as agreed for someone else who worked there who got really sick and requested to have her week that day. All I can say now is good riddance.

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How To Get Ahead

, , , , | Right | August 20, 2020

I’m in a very small branch of a popular UK bakery, and I do mean small; the floor is about the same size as a small bedroom. It’s about 5:00 pm on a Friday, and as it’s my birthday, I’m going out that night and staying with a friend, so I have a huge backpack stuffed full. The store is such a small size that I and three other customers — the guy in front of me at the till and the couple at the hot food counter — fill it.

When the couple turns around after getting their food, it puts them right next to the guy at the till. However, I’ve already been standing there behind him with my items in hand while he’s served. Note that I’m really tiny and not always easy to see when standing behind other people, but I am in full view of the couple. He gets his change and leaves.

Cashier: *To the couple* “Hi, what can I get you?”

Customer: “Just these, thanks.”

I am taken aback and reply admittedly slightly louder than I intended.

Me: “Oh, all right, then.”

Customer: *Giving me a dirty look* “Well, you can go ahead if you want. We were here first, though.”

I step forward without acknowledging her tone or her look, and the cashier gives me an apologetic look as she realises what’s happened. As I’m digging inside my backpack for my purse to pay, I notice that the customer leans backward to talk to her partner. I have my earphones in but my music switched off, as I always do when I’m at the till.

Customer: *Loudly, with great emphasis* “Jesus. H. Christ.”

Me: “I can hear you, y’know.”

She never said another word.

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