My best friend is getting married, and I’d booked the day off about six months previously so l could go. A week before the wedding:

Me: “Uh, [Boss]? The schedules are out for next week, and I’m on them.”

Boss: “So?”

Me: “I’m off next week. I’ve had it scheduled off since December last year.”

Boss: “No, you didn’t.”

Me: “I have a text history from me to you, showing me requesting it, and you approving it.”

Boss: “Well, you know how the schedules are flexible. You need to be here next week.”

Me: “No. I will be in New England next week as the maid of honor for my best friend’s wedding. Flights and accommodations are booked, and my dress was not cheap.”

Boss: “You’re coming in next week, or you’re not coming in ever again.”

Me: “Do you honestly think I’m going to choose this $9 an hour retail job over missing my best friend’s wedding?!”

Boss: “They’ll post it on Instagram, won’t they? Just look at those pictures.”

Me: “You know what? I was going to miss some of the early wedding prep and parties this week because I was being considerate and only taking four days off. I’m done. I’m out of here today. Bye.”

Boss: “What? Wait. Let’s see about getting you two days off next week—”

Me: “—I said, bye. I’ll be back after the wedding for my final paycheck.”

Boss: “Well, good luck finding another job in this economy!”

Me: “Another $9 an hour job in retail? You don’t get it, do you? This job is crappy enough that it holds no power over me, so neither do you. See you in a couple of weeks.”

I walked out of there, mind clear, and happy to attend every event of that wedding. When I got back to town, I found a retail job within a week, a few blocks closer to home, and for $10.50 an hour! Also, they were still hiring, so I told my ex-coworkers about it and spurred a mass exodus. 

None of this would have happened if I’d been left off the schedule…

I’m working the front desk tonight; it’s a busy Saturday night as usual. Last night, we had a wedding (that I wasn’t working for). We have a catering kitchen that has a walk-in freezer; sometimes couples use the freezer to store their wedding cake until they check out.

Around 9:30 PM, the bride and groom from last night’s wedding come to the front desk.

Bride: “Our cake is in the back kitchen. I want a slice of it right now.”

I radioed Maintenance for them to meet me at the kitchen to unlock the door for me, as we don’t have a key to the catering kitchen at the front desk. We get back into the kitchen, and I realize the walk-in freezer is locked as well. Maintenance doesn’t have the key for the lock; only the restaurant manager has the key. 

I come back to the front desk to relay this info to the bride. My coworker asks:

Coworker: “Can you wait until the morning?”

She actually stomps her foot and speaks in the most bratty, whiny voice I have ever heard.

Bride: “I told my mom I wanted it tonight!”

She storms away to the elevator, leaving her husband at the desk. I actually had to stifle a laugh; she actually sounded like a five-year-old.

Husband: “I’m so sorry.”

I wanted nothing more to say, “No, I’m sorry.” I feel so sorry for that guy, having to spend the rest of his life(?) with her. They were both in their early twenties. I hope she matures a lot before they decide to procreate.

My husband and I just celebrated our one-year wedding anniversary. We had already been together for about a decade before that, so really the only thing that changed was our tax filing status. We did, however, get to have a lovely ceremony at a local nature preserve that has a truly lovely pavilion by the lake.

The weather was perfect, the day was magical, a beautiful swan showed up in the lake just as the ceremony was starting, my brother and brother-in-law went for a pre-ceremony walk through some of the paths and came back with some Praying Mantis pals in hand / on shoulders; we almost couldn’t ask for better.

Almost.

As I said, the venue was local, specifically for us. But both my and my husband’s family is spread out widely, between one and four hours’ drive away. However, it was our wedding, and we had already made the trip out to visit others plenty of times before for birthdays, holidays, and yes, weddings! Siblings, cousins, and in-laws were all happy to come celebrate with us, with the only negative commentary coming from my mother.

She just didn’t understand why we wanted to have our wedding “in the middle of nowhere.” “Nowhere” is the town I grew up in, where she had lived with my father for decades before he passed, and she moved back up to the city. She complained on behalf of everyone else about all the traveling and expense and difficulty and accommodations, and everything else.

No complaints actually FROM them, of course. My then-fiancé checked with my brother to make sure everything was okay, and my bro backed up my statement that my mom just liked to share rumors and gossip to get people talking to her, because she always needed some amount of attention. Even if that attention caused problems for others, because she just kept picking at old wounds that everyone else had already gotten past.

On our wedding, though? NOT acceptable, and I had words with her, calmly and in private, but just a reminder that today was NOT her day, she was NOT allowed to start causing grief, she could, in fact, simply talk with the family and enjoy a nice day like everyone else did.

Apparently, my mother took this as both an insult and a challenge, because the “rumors” started going twice as fast. This person was commenting on their in-law’s weight. That one was trying to get others to pay for their hotel. Cousin’s plus one was actually a vegan and was talking nonsense about the meat at the meal. Uncle was talking about how a same-sex couple wasn’t right.

LITERALLY NONE OF IT WAS TRUE.

She went from sharing/exaggerating actual things to just inventing problems to drive a wedge between people. All with this impish little smile on her face, like she was playing a harmless prank.

Nope. Not on our wedding. Explosions went off. Shouting occurred.

Mom was kicked out of the wedding, and everyone either turned off phones or blocked her because, OF COURSE, she had to start calling people before even leaving the parking lot. Apparently, she thought she could start a family civil war and get others to leave with her? I don’t know, but there was so much less tension and bad mood after she left.

My cousin was the one who delivered the message that my husband and I would talk to her again when she apologized, and swore to never pull such a stunt again.

So, what brought up this memory? As I said, we just celebrated the one-year anniversary of our wedding… And of the so-far last time we talked to my mother.

CORRECTION: This story was incorrectly tagged as ‘Right’ instead of ‘Related’.

I met my fiancé’s stepmother for the very first time after we announced we were getting married. She lives in another country, so this was my first opportunity. She hits me with some heated questions the moment we’re introduced.

Stepmother-In-Law: “Why aren’t your parents listed on the wedding announcement?”

It’s so sudden that I freeze.

Me: “Because… we both have divorced and remarried parents. There are eight parents between the two of us. We wanted the announcement to focus on us, not a giant list at the top.”

She frowns, unconvinced.

Stepmother-In-Law: “That’s not how it’s done. The parents should be on there.”

Me: “We’re in our thirties. We’re paying for our own wedding.”

She purses her lips, clearly offended.

Stepmother-In-Law: “Well, I just find it disrespectful. Weddings are built on traditions!”

Fiancé: “Yeah, Sharon. Like ’til death do us part. Remember that one? My dad is your what, third husband?”

She dropped it quickly after that!

My husband and I have a destination wedding in the Bahamas. My mother-in-law is notoriously cheap and will only fly down for two nights. She arrives the day before the wedding and leaves the day after. 

On our wedding day, there’s no formal reception. Just about ten of us were sitting outside all afternoon, drinking and enjoying ourselves.

Fast forward to that night.

My husband and I finally get to our suite around 9 PM, excited to enjoy our wedding night together. Alone.

At 10 PM, the room phone rings.

It’s my mother-in-law.

Mother-In-Law: “You need to come down to the lobby and watch the fire-eating show with me! I’m leaving tomorrow, and it’s very selfish of you not to spend time with me tonight.”

My husband tries to be diplomatic.

Husband: “Mom, it’s our wedding night.”

Mother-In-Law: “And?”

Husband: “I want to spend it with my wife.”

Mother-In-Law: “Oh, give me a break. It’s not like tonight is extra special; we all know she’s no virgin.”

We end up going down and hanging out with her for about an hour. I know, I know. We shouldn’t have. But oh well. 

But it does give me an opportunity to take a seat a few feet away from her, look her straight in the eye, and say:

Me: “Don’t get too close. Wouldn’t want the massive black hole that is my well-used vagina to suck you into another dimension.”

Really sets the tone for the rest of our relationship.