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The Couponator 35: Dog Food Day Afternoon

, , , , , | Right | June 23, 2022

I work at a pet store. Sundays are scary when the after-church crowd shows up. A customer lays a bag of dog food and eight cans of dog food on the counter. He gives me a coupon for $5 off a bag of food and fifty cents off a can of dog food.

I ring him up, and he flips out.

Customer: “You overcharged me!”

I call for the supervisor on duty. She reads the coupon.

Supervisor: “This coupon is good for fifty cents off only one can of dog food.”

Customer: “So, you are telling me that if I buy a can of dog food, go to my car, come back, and buy another can of dog food, go to my car, come back, and buy another can of dog food, that this is what I have to do to get the fifty cents off a can of dog food like the coupon says?”

Supervisor: “Well, actually, once you use a coupon, we keep it, and you can’t use it again.”

Customer: “What the h*** is this bulls***? You’re trying to get one over on me! I’d go out of business if I pulled this s*** on a customer. I am going to report you!”

Then, he left with his purchase. He had railed for so long that by the time he was done, there was a long line at the register. Everybody just looked stunned.

The Couponator 34: Blast From The Past
The Couponator 33: The Double Cross
The Couponator 32: Attack Of The Rulebreaker
The Couponator 31: Saved By The Next Generation
The Couponator 30: Managerial Override

The Couldn’t Care About Cash Coupon

, , , , , | Right | April 28, 2022

I work the registers at a big box store. Our registers have a screen that sometimes pops up when coupons are scanned, basically saying that it isn’t valid and asking if we want to accept it anyway.

One day, this terrible woman comes through my line. I scan her items and all of her numerous coupons. Almost all of them go through just fine, but one coupon gives me that screen. As a courtesy, I click the button to accept the coupon and then finish the transaction. After the receipt prints, she stands by the end of the register to look at it. I don’t think anything of it, checking out the next customer in line, who leaves.

She then comes back up to me.

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Did that coupon go through?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, because I saw that screen that said it was denied. Can you show me where on my receipt it’s listed?”

I look and I can’t find it, which doesn’t mean it didn’t go through. There are a lot of coupons and it’s possible it’s just part of the dollars off at the bottom. I try to explain this, but she does not like that. She keeps trying to hand me the receipt and have me point it out. Meanwhile, my line is building. Finally, she comes up with this gem.

Customer: “I don’t actually care about the money; I just want to make sure you’re doing your job right.”

If I was doing my job “right,” I wouldn’t have accepted that coupon at all. The screens said it was denied, so I had no obligation to approve it.

She kept needling me about the coupon and I tried to send her up to guest services for help. I tried telling her that I couldn’t do anything for her from my register; I don’t have return powers and even if I did, it has to be done at guest services. I pointed out that my line was building, and the woman behind her said that [Customer] had every right to make sure she was charged correctly. By this point, I was literally in tears.

Thankfully, my register was right by the self-checkouts, and the lovely woman manning the self-checkouts that day noticed me crying and came over. She sent me into the back with a manager and took over.

My manager let me sit in the break room until I calmed down, and thankfully, I didn’t get in trouble for any of it. I don’t know what happened with the customer, but I never saw her again.

The coupon was literally for fifty cents off a large purchase.

You Can Only Have My Pizza Profits If I Get A Discount!

, , | Right | April 15, 2022

I work at a pizza chain. A customer comes in and hands me a coupon.

Me: “Ma’am, this coupon is for [Chain #2]. We’re [Chain #1].”

Customer: “I was going to buy my pizza there, but if you’ll honor this coupon, I’ll order with you so you’ll get my profits.”

I just stare at her blankly.

Me: “This isn’t Walmart. We don’t price-match here.”

She didn’t order anything.

Maybe If I Ask For The Exact Same Thing A Fourth Time…

, , , , , | Right | April 7, 2022

My bookstore has struggled with a program where you get coupons in your email, which you can print up and bring into the store. Then, we get a new cast of “regulars.”

THESE regulars come in every time there is a coupon, pick the cheapest clearance sale book on the shelf, and slap their 20% coupon on top of it. Normally, I don’t care that some random idiot is saving $0.40 on an ancient, out-of-print clearance book, but corporate gets wise to this and adds on every coupon, “Not valid with any other offer,” which immediately causes problems.

Customer: “I want to add this discount.”

Me: *With a pained smile* “I’m sorry, sir, we cannot add your percentage off on top of your already discounted book, but you’re still getting a $15 book for $4.99.”

The man attempts to stare me down. I refuse to have a staring contest with him over his last-chance clearance item.

Me: “Let me know when you’ve made up your mind.”

Customer: “I’ve made up my mind. I want to add this discount to this book.”

Me: *In the best HAL voice I can manage* “I’m sorry, but I cannot do that.”

Customer: “I want to add this discount to this book.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I cannot do that.”

Customer:I want this discount on this book!

Being LOUDER does not make it magically happen!

Me: “Sir, I heard you the first three times you said what you wanted. And I told you three times that I cannot do that. You either need to buy the book at the clearance sale price without the coupon or not buy the book at all.”

He tries to stare me down again. The manager swoops in during the man’s attempt to glare at me, takes the man’s book off the counter, and walks away with it tucked under his arm.

Manager: *With a sweet smile* “Sir, it is obvious that you do not want this book if you cannot get the discount, so I’m going to put it away for you.”

The man stares in shock that anyone would outright block his obsession for being repeatedly denied, and then he chases the manager, bellowing at the top of his lungs that he wants his discount and he wants it now!

He skids to a stop when [Coworker] cuts in and matches him stare for stare. [Coworker] is the kind of guy that looks like a federal agent, or one of the Men In Black.

Coworker: “No.”

That was it. No raised voice, no inflection, no anger. Straight out “No” with this blank, soulless expression.

I was six feet away and my stomach dropped to my ankles and my heart stopped beating. The man, much closer, went dead white, lost his nerve, and fled.

Mysteriously, he never returned to harass us again.

There’s School For Retail?

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2022

I used to manage a little girls’ clothing store in the mall. I was an assistant manager at nineteen and store manager by twenty-three. We ran promotions where you would earn coupons to use on future purchases by spending a certain amount — either $25 off of $50 or $15 off of $50. When you redeemed them, the register converted the discount to a percentage and took it off of all the items on the transaction, so that if you returned an item you only lost a small portion of the discount instead of the entire amount, or conversely, you couldn’t return all the items except the one the discount was taken off of to get it for free/very cheap.

I once had a customer confront me because her discount came off “incorrectly”.

Customer: “I want to speak to a manager.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’m the manager.”

Customer: “Fine, then I want to talk to the store manager.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, that’s me.”

Customer: “Oh, please. I’m old enough to be your mother!”

Me: “Ma’am, can you please just tell me what’s wrong with how your items rang up?”

Customer: “It should have just taken $15 off the total, not a percentage off of each item.”

I explain why it’s a percentage off each item.

Me: “After all, it wouldn’t be fair if we just took the entire discount off the one item you’re returning and you lost it completely, would it?”

Customer: “That’s the way everywhere else does it!”

Me: “Actually, today on my lunch break I bought some stuff at [Other Store] and used a similar coupon, and they discounted the same way.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t shop there!”

I really had no response at that point. Her parting shot was that she went to school for retail and this is not how it’s done!