These Sandwiches Have Gone To The Dogs

, , , , | Right | October 16, 2018

Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I—”

Customer: “You had better make sure these coupons work this time!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Yeah, last time we came here they wouldn’t take these coupons for our order.”

Me: “Well, let me take a look. Yeah, these are good; says here you get a free soft drink with any sandwich order.”

Customer: “Good. I will have the chili cheese dog with my free drink.”

Me: *confused look* “Then… your coupon is not going to work.”

Customer: “Why not?!”

Me: “That coupon is for a sandwich; you are ordering a hot dog.”

Customer: “Well, if a hot dog is not a sandwich, then what is it?!”

Me: “A hot dog.”


(Sure thing, lady. Sure thing.)

Some Coupons Are Always A Gamble

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(My store offers “instant savings,” which are discounts automatically applied to certain items at the end of their transaction. Some people, however, bring in their instant savings booklet thinking its a coupon they need to show us.)

Me: “All right, ma’am, the till is processing your instant savings, and I’ll give you your total.”

Customer: “Oh! I want to use this coupon!”

(She hands me her instant savings booklet.)

Me: “Don’t worry, ma’am. Those coupons are applied automatically.”

Customer: “Okay, but I’d also like to use this coupon.”

(She hands me a raffle ticket with, “Keep this coupon,” and a string of numbers printed on it.)

Me: “Uh, ma’am, this is a raffle ticket.”

Customer: “No, it says, ‘coupon.’”

Me: “It’s not a coupon, I assure you. It doesn’t show a product to offer a discount on, or an amount to take off.”

Customer: *getting upset* “The lady back there—” *gestures to sales floor* “—said to hold onto that, and I want my money off.”

(I realize I’m not getting anywhere.)

Me: “Oh, you know what? These actually expired yesterday.”

Customer: *dejectedly* “Oh, all right.”

This Behavior Is Irredeemable

, , , , , | Right | September 30, 2018

(I work as a cashier at a popular grocery store in our area. A female customer in her twenties comes through my line, and I check out her order as usual. In the end, she hands me a few coupons, and all scan accordingly except for one.)

Me: “Oh, this appears to be an [Other Store] coupon.”

Customer: “What? You guys don’t take manufacturer coupons?”

Me: “Not if they’re specified for a different store. I’m sorry.”

(I start to hand the coupon back to her, after showing her where the coupon states, “Redeemable at [Other Store],” but she shakes her head.)

Customer: “It doesn’t say that it’s redeemable only at [Other Store], so shouldn’t you be able to take it? Because if not, I don’t want [item].”

(Rather than argue with her, I offer to check with my supervisor on the matter, and she agrees. My supervisor, of course, confirms what I have been saying and assures me that it is definitely an [Other Store] coupon and we cannot accept it here.)

Me: “She said it is definitely an [Other Store] coupon. The barcode is different and, as we discovered already, it is not recognized by our system. I’m very sorry. Would you like me to void [item] for you?”

Customer: *sighs heavily, shaking her head* “No, forget it. This is a pain in the a**!”

(She then paid for her order in a grumpy manner and left. By the way, the coupon was for 50 cents.)

Going To Spring Roll Around For Another Argument

, , , , , , | Right | September 25, 2018

(I work at an Asian fast food restaurant. We offer three basic meals where you can put whatever food items you wish in the meal. The most popular of these comes with one side and two entrees. We also issue a coupon that says you can get an additional entree for free with the purchase of this meal.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Restaurant]. Would you like to try any samples today?”

Customer: “No. I have this coupon, and I wanted to ask you what it is for.”

Me: “Sure! This coupon allows you to get an entree box with anything you’d like in it for free, as long as you also purchase one of our meals with two entrees and a side.”

Customer: “Okay. What counts as an entree?”

Me: “Any of our meats count as an entree, or you could use that coupon for an egg roll or an order of spring rolls.”

(I gesture to the table of food in front of me.)

Customer: “Okay. Can I try a sample of [food item]?”

Me: “Sure!” *gets her a sample of several entrees*

Customer: “I’ll take some spring rolls.”

Me: “Okay. What else can I get for you today?”

(I take her order. We get to the register, and I ask for the coupon. She can see on the screen on the other side of the register the amount that was taken off of the total.)

Customer: “Why did it only take [amount] off?”

Me: “Well, that was the price of the spring rolls and that is the extra entree that you asked for to use the coupon on. You didn’t get anything else I could apply the coupon to, and it would still be the same dollar amount taken off, anyway.”

Customer: “I thought I got a free entree?”

Me: “You did. I rang the spring rolls up for [price], and then I discounted your check for [same price].”

Customer: “No, I mean, I thought I got an entree for free.”

Me: *not really knowing what else to say at this point, I simply say* “You did.”

Customer: *rolling her eyes in a way that seems to say, “This guy is cheating me, but I don’t have the energy to deal with it.”* “Okay.”

(The transaction continues and she goes to her table after paying. I bring the food over when ready.)

Me: “Here is that food you were waiting on. Also, something just occurred to me. I think we may have just been having a miscommunication back at the register. You see, the spring rolls that I gave you are normally [higher price] when not being purchased with a meal. I think that might have been the reason we were having trouble understanding each other. I actually just rang them up as an extra entree on your meal so they were cheaper. That way, I can use the coupon that allows me to discount [same price] and the spring rolls are free.”

Customer: “No, that wasn’t what I was confused about. I just thought the coupon was for an entree.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. It is. That’s what you got.”

Customer: “No. All I got were these spring rolls.”

Bad Customers Emerging

, , , , , | Right | September 19, 2018

(I work in a well-known office supply store. Recently, we were supposed to have a big merger happen between us and our competitor, but it got shut down. All the workers knew it, but the customers didn’t exactly get the memo. At least, so I thought. A woman and her son walk up to the register with their items.)

Me: “Hi! How ya doin’? Get everything you need?”

Customer: “Yes, I did. If you don’t mind, I’d like to use these coupons.”

Me: “Sure! That shouldn’t be a problem!”

(I look down at the coupons and see that they’re from our competitors, the ones where the merger got rejected.)

Me: “Ma’am, you do realize that this is [Company], not [Competitor]?”

Customer: “Whatever happened to that merger?”

Me: “It got rejected.”

Customer: “That’s not the way I heard it; I read on the Internet it was a success! Now, if you don’t mind, I’d really appreciate it if you’d use the coupons. I’m too tight on money to pay full price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t use these coupons here. If you have a lower price to show me on, let’s say, your smartphone, then I’ll be happy to price match it.”

Customer: “I don’t have time for that; just use the coupons!”

Me: “Ma’am, as I said before, I cannot use these. The merger didn’t happen, and we are both still separate companies.”

Customer: “Haven’t you ever heard of ‘good customer service’?”

Me: “Yes, I have, and I’ve also heard about the art of ripping companies off. I’ll say it one last time: you can pay full price for the items, or leave now and use those coupons at [Competitor], since you’re so set on using them.”

(The customer reluctantly paid full price for the items and left the store with her son. The last thing I heard her say to him while walking out was something about not coming back to an establishment that gave her “poor service” as I did. All I have to say is, policy is policy. Take it or leave it.)

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