Sadly, This Is A National Problem

, , , , | Right | June 2, 2021

I work for a large theme park and water park chain that has many branches. We offer season passes that let you into specific parks.

Customer: “Hi. The entry people said my cards aren’t working and they can’t let me in.”

Me: “Okay, sir, let me scan your cards and see what’s going on.”

I scan the pass and see that they’re all active but they’re for a different location.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but since these are a season pass, they’re only good for [Location]’s theme park and your home water park in [Location].”

Customer: “But online it said it’s good nationally!”

Me: “That might’ve meant it’s only good for all [Company]’s theme parks. The only water park you’re allowed to use this for free entry on is your home water park.”

Customer: *Angrily* “But the website where I bought it said it’s good nationally! I should be able to get in!” 

Me: “Again, I’m really sorry, sir, but this is only good for entry there.”

The customer then angrily throws his cards at me through a hole in the window and starts to walk off. He then turns around, comes right back up to my window, and demands the cards back. I slowly pick them up, get them in order, and hand them back. He snatches them out of my hand and storms off. I then tell my managers what happened.

Managers: “Wow, [My Name], you’re too nice. I wouldn’t have given them back. I would’ve just confiscated them.”

We all had a laugh at that and they were hence referred to as the Beyblade customers.

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The Couponator 28: Father’s Day

, , , , , | Right | May 28, 2021

It is the Saturday night before Father’s Day. A table of four comes in around: it looks like mom, dad, and two adult children. It’s been a heck of a night, and I rush over to greet them and get their drink orders. When I return, I ask if they are ready to order or if they need a few more minutes to look at the menu. They ask for a few more minutes, so I rush off to make the thousand and a half salads I need for other orders. When I return:

Me: “Are we ready to order? Any questions?

The mom asks about our calzones and pastas, eventually ordering a dinner with a salad, while the son orders a calzone and a salad. The dad is pointing between himself and his daughter.

Dad: “Y’all do half-and-half pizzas?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Dad: “Cool. We’re going to split a medium, half [specialty] and half [other specialty]. And a salad.”

Me: “One salad? Big or small?”

Dad: *Grunts* “Small.”

I start reading back everyone’s orders, and just as I’m about done, the dad interrupts me.

Dad: “I wanna use the coupon y’all sent me. The Father’s Day Special thing.”

Corporate often sends out coupons for holidays without telling our management. Fortunately, it isn’t too big of a deal as the coupons generally only apply to online orders, though sometimes my boss will honor it in-store if the customer prints it out so we can keep a paper trail.

Me: “Okay, I’ll have to check with my manager, as I personally am unaware of which coupon was sent out.”

Dad: “Yeah, hey, if you can do the coupon, make that medium a large.”

I find my manager taking a breather from the kitchen and ask about the coupon. He rolls his eyes and tells me to give him a minute to see if he can pull it up. I make the three salads, and as I’m taking them out, I stop by my manager again. He hands his phone to me, displaying the ad.

Manager: “$10 off a $50 or more online order. Valid only on Father’s Day. If he prints it out and places an order tomorrow, we will accept it. Or he can use it online.”

As I reach the table, I explain this to the dad. He stares at me.

Dad: “I gotta print it out? How am I supposed to do that when I’m sitting here? Y’all got a printer I can use?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t. But you can print it out at home, and we can accept it tomorrow. Only tomorrow.”

Dad: *Exasperated sigh* “Man! Just give us the medium, then. And where’s the other salad? We each got one! Four people, FOUR SALADS!”

I race back to the salad table and quickly put together a fourth salad, annoyed since I specifically confirmed the order for three. When the rest of their food comes out, Dad is pretty quiet. The rest of the meal goes well, and as I’m getting ready to take their bill, I feel a bit sympathetic, understanding the disappointment of not being able to use the $10 off.

All of our takeout boxes have coupons printed on them, and I usually end up with a pocket full of them by the end of the night. I dig one out for $1.50 off of a medium and apply it to their $65 bill. I explain to Dad that although we couldn’t honor the other coupon, I was able to find a different, smaller discount that I could give him. In the nastiest tone, the dad laughs.

Dad: “Ha! A f****** dollar fifty. Like that’s gonna do much!”

When they left, I collected my $2 tip from the table and decided to screw sympathy and trying to do anything nice for customers.

The Couponator 27: Panic Attack!
The Couponator 26: Red Friday
The Couponator 25: The Cheese Explosion
The Couponator 24: My Funds, My Rules
The Couponator 23: The Time Destroyer

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Do I Look Like I Have “Idiot” MS Paint-ed On My Face?

, , , , | Right | May 14, 2021

A man comes in with a paper coupon that looks like someone has doodled it up in MS Paint. It doesn’t mention our store by name at all; it just has the words “$1 Burger Meal” printed on it, with some clip-art of a burger and fries next to it, and the word “Valid” in one corner.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I can’t accept this coupon.”

I’m expecting him to laugh as if it was a joke, or try and argue, but he just stands there and stares at me silently.

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “What are you going to do to satisfy me?”

Me: “I’m willing to sell you a burger for [our price].”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes at me before turning and walking out of the building. Sorry I’m not willing to just hand you food for not falling for your scam.

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Don’t Discount Their Ability To Bluff

, , , , | Right | May 8, 2021

I work as an assistant manager at a popular chain restaurant that’s located within an upscale department store. We had a regular customer comes in with his family and is an absolute pain in the backside. He complains about waiting times, service times, food quality, etc., every time he visits in order to score discounts on his bills which often exceed £100. He is pretty obnoxious and rude to the staff in general and we all know him by sight.

One night, we are full — no seats available — leading up to closing time and this guy is standing in the queue moaning to every member of staff that passes by about how long the wait is to be seated.

I recognise him and decide I am not going to give him the excuse to complain this time. I do absolutely everything I can to make sure he gets seated ASAP and that his meal and service are impeccable. Things go well, and he is being uncharacteristically civil.

The guy and his family finish up. He comes up to the till and hands me a voucher for a large discount on his meal. To clarify, we have these cards in all our locations that advertise vouchers for customers who submit their email addresses. However, these vouchers clearly state that these offers are not valid in all locations and that this particular voucher is not valid at our restaurant.

I weep a little internally as I know what is coming.

Me: “Sorry, sir, this voucher was not valid at our location and I can’t apply that discount.”

Customer: “The voucher must be valid because I signed up for the email offers whilst physically in this particular restaurant!”

Me: “Sir, the terms and conditions specifically state that this location is not included in the offer.”

It is ten minutes past close, so this is all happening whilst the department store is shutting its doors and their floor manager is getting impatient.

Floor Manager: “What’s wrong?”

I explain the situation.

Floor Manager: “Just give him the discount.”

Usually, I would just go along with this, but the guy has racked up a major bill and I have had enough of his nonsense.

Me: *To the customer* “This voucher was not valid and you will have to pay the full bill.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that I couldn’t use this voucher here?”

Me: “The terms and conditions on the voucher are very clear on this. I would suggest checking T&Cs on vouchers before trying to redeem them.”

This may sound a little abrupt, but I have already pointed this out several times by now.

Customer: “Call your boss.”

I do. My boss is home, asleep, and rather understandably irate.

Boss: “The voucher is not valid. The customer does not get a discount. Use your judgement.”

I put on my best “access denied” face and repeat what I stated previously.

Customer: “Right, you’ll just have to call the police, then.”

Me: “That really shouldn’t be necessary.”

Customer: “I’m not leaving until you give me my discount.”

His wife and kids are waiting in the department store doorway asking what the holdup is. Everybody in the store is getting annoyed now as they want to cash up and go home. I’m not having it this time. I have to make a decision.

Me: “Okay, here’s what I’ll do. I’ll give you your discount, but you’re not welcome at this location again.”

Customer: “You what?”

Me: “You’re effectively refusing to pay for the full price of your meal, so you have a choice: pay the bill in full or take the discount and don’t come back.”

Customer: “Oh, you’ve done it now. You have no idea what’s coming. I’ll be taking you to court over this.”

I am totally past giving a f***.

Me: “That’s fine. What would you prefer to do?”

Customer: “I want what you just said to me in writing so I can show it to my lawyer and your head office.”

In for a penny…

Me: “Okay, then.”

I take a pen and paper and write the following:

Note: “To whom it may concern,

This is to certify that [Customer] is no longer welcome at [Location]. [Customer] is welcome to visit other locations in the [Restaurant] chain.

Signed: [My Signature] 

Assistant Manager.”

Me: “Here you go.”

The customer is gobsmacked.

Customer: “Oh, you’ve really done it now. Wait until my lawyer sees this!”

I give the guy his discount, process the bill, and give him his receipt.

Customer: “You’ve not heard the last of this, I guarantee it!”

That was the last I heard of it.

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Not Able To Get A Good Read On That Offer

, , , , | Right | April 28, 2021

I’m in the first window of the drive-thru. I hear the ding indicating a customer is at the speaker and answer it.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Hi. I have this coupon and I wanted to know if I could use it for iced coffees?”

Me: “Okay, ma’am! Could you read out the coupon for me?”

She reads mostly stuff I can’t hear due to the quality of the speakers and the multiple cars.

Customer: “…iced coffees.”

Me: *Dying a little inside* “Okay, ma’am, yes, you can use it for an iced coffee.”

Customer: “Oh, lovely. Could I get a large or can I only get a medium?”

Me: “Well, what does the coupon say?”

Customer: “It says, ‘any size’.”

I’m resisting the urge to bang my head against the metal shelving around my register.

Me: “Yes, ma’am, you can use it for a large.”

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