Following The Rules To The Letter

, , , , | Working | February 19, 2021

I get a coupon for my favorite sandwich place. Score! I head to the place and make my order, and at the end, I present the coupon.

Employee: “Sorry, ma’am, that coupon only applies to online and phone orders.”

Me: “So, I can’t order over the counter?”

Employee: “Sorry, but no. Online and phone only.”

Without moving from my spot, I got my phone and called the number for the sandwich place. Without breaking eye contact with the employee, I saw him pick up the phone on the wall and speak his greeting.

He quickly realized he was talking to me standing a few feet away as I repeated my exact same order.

He sighed and just applied the coupon.

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The Returner Versus The Couponator II: This Time It’s Personal

, , , , , , , | Right | February 7, 2021

A customer is doing a return.

Customer: “My wife used a 30%-off coupon when she purchased this. Is it possible to get that back when I do the return?”

Me: “No, sorry, sir, we can’t return coupons.”

Customer: “What if I do this return without a receipt? Could she then use the coupon for something else?”

Me: “No, sir, the coupon has already been used.”

Customer: “Well, if I return it without a receipt, can I get the full amount back?”

Me: “Not only am I currently holding your receipt, sir, but we cannot give you back more than you spent. Doing a return without a receipt doesn’t give you the full amount back; it gives you the lowest price the item has been in the last sixty days.”

Customer: “But like, come on. It couldn’t have been less than 30% off…”

Me: “Well, sir, that is certainly a risk you can take, but I will tell you that your odds of finding the only items in the store that haven’t been on sale recently are extremely low. I’ve seen items go as low as $1 each. Trust me, you won’t be getting paid more than your purchase amount.” 

He finally took the original amount he’d paid as a refund and left with his three children. He had announced that they were homeschooled prior to this interaction. I feel less than encouraged about their upbringing.

The Returner Versus The Couponator

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Coupons Of The Mind

, , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

I am cashing people out at the first window of our drive-thru. A car comes up to the window.

Me: “Hi, I have a large fry?”

The customer shows me an online coupon to scan.

Customer: “Yeah.”

I scan the coupon and notice that it says the order does not meet the conditions.

Me: “I’m sorry, but it says the order does not meet the conditions. What was the coupon for?”

Customer In Back Seat: “It was for a free drink with a three-dollar purchase.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but you didn’t get a drink with your order.”

Customer In Back Seat: “I didn’t think we needed to!”

Because if I scan your coupon it automatically puts in the size and type of drink you want. Right.

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Rental Mental

, , , , , | Right | February 6, 2021

During college, I work for a once-popular video rental store. There are coupons going around online for a free video rental. Usually, there is no problem with this, but one day, an older couple comes into our store to rent a movie.

Me: “Hello! I see you’ve found a movie. Do you have an account with us?”

Male Customer: “No, we don’t. We have a coupon for a free movie! We want to use it.”

He hands me the printed-out coupon.

Me: “Sure thing! We just need an account so you can rent that—”

Female Customer: “What? We aren’t renting it! We have a coupon for a free movie!

Me: *Confused* “But you are still renting it. You are taking a DVD that belongs to this store home. We need to make you an account if you don’t have one so that I can rent the movie to you.”

Male Customer:No! You don’t understand! We aren’t renting anything! We are taking this movie home, and no! I will not create an account with your stupid store!”

Me: “You have to return it, though. We need your phone number and name so we know who has the DVD.”

Male Customer: *Getting angry*No! This is a free movie coupon. Free! We will take it home and return it if we want to!”

Me: “No. That’s not how this works. You are still renting the DVD. We, the company, own that DVD. You are basically borrowing it for a period of time that the company sets, coupon or no. Now. I would gladly make you an account, but if you don’t want to make one, then I cannot let you take the movie with you. I’m sorry.”

Female Customer: “Well, I never!

They stormed out, giving me the stink eye the entire time.

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Any Given Sundae, Part 7

, , , , | Right | February 3, 2021

It’s been raining since early this morning. I should note that our ice cream shop has no parking spots in front of the store; it’s too small of a lot. All spots are on the sides and in the back. We cannot ask customers to move their vehicles if they park in front, and that makes it kind of hazardous for people who park in actual spots.

A customer pulls up in front of the store and gets out of her truck. She then walks up, holding a coupon.

Customer: “Hi! Can I use this coupon on sundaes?”

The customer hands a coupon over. I look over it and read aloud to her that the coupon is for small, medium, or large dishes or cones, adding that sundaes do not count for the coupon.

Customer: “Okay! Then may I please have a [Sundae with pecans] and a [Popular Kids’ Sundae]. Oh! Does the kids’ sundae work with the coupon?”

Me: “No, ma’am. This coupon can’t be used on any sundaes. Just small, regular, and large cones or dishes.”

Customer: “Aww, okay. Then I’ll have…” *Looks at our flavor board* “…two kids’ cups of [Popular PB Cup Flavor], instead of the kids’ sundae.”

At this point, I gave up on life and gave the customer her ice cream and the popular pecan sundae she’d ordered. She ordered two KIDS’ dishes. The smallest the coupon would accept was a small. Our kids’ sizes are one scoop and small is two scoops. Thankfully, the rest of the transaction was fine and she left. I was left standing there wondering how people can’t understand what their coupons allow them to get.

Any Given Sundae, Part 6
Any Given Sundae, Part 5
Any Given Sundae, Part 4
Any Given Sundae, Part 3
Any Given Sundae, Part 2

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