Having To Shampoo-poo Most Of The Coupons

, , , , , , | Right | January 13, 2020

(By the end of my four-year reign as a cashier, I am pretty done with my job. We have this one regular coupon scammer who comes through the express lane with too many items to hold people up and fluster the cashier into taking her coupons. One day, I see them in my line and decide I’m done with them, too.)

Customer: *starts unloading stuff onto the belt, mostly trial-size shampoos and deodorants*

Me: *scans things extra slowly, paying attention to the items* 

Customer: “Here. Take these.” *thrusts coupons in my direction*

Me: “Of course.”

(Before scanning them, I decide to take my time reading the entirety of the fine print of the coupon while the scammer gets antsy. It’s for $1 off shampoo and unsurprisingly, excludes trial-size items.)

Customer: “Are you new? You’re just supposed to scan them. That’s how coupons work, sweetie.”

Me: *puts on my best customer service smile* “Unfortunately, this coupon says it doesn’t include trial-size items, so this type of shampoo won’t count.”

Customer: “Yeah, but if you scan it, it’ll take it off.”

Me: *scans it to humor them, and it’s rejected* “Sorry, the register won’t accept it.”

Customer: *exasperated sigh* “Well, the cashiers normally take it off anyway when the register doesn’t work.”

Me: “I wouldn’t be able to do that myself; I could get a manager—”

Customer: “Whatever! Just put the shampoos back! Try this coupon.”

(I did the same thing again as a line started to form behind them. The next coupon was the same type of deal and I said it couldn’t be accepted. I went through their whole stack of coupons and most of them weren’t usable. The scammer eventually got frustrated enough that they stormed out without buying anything and I just smiled as I put everything back in my returns bin. I know a lot of cashiers and managers usually would just put the coupons through so they wouldn’t cause a fuss but hey, sometimes it’s the petty little things in life.)

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Management Versus The Couponator

, , , , , | Right | December 30, 2019

(I’m a male working as a cashier in an area where that’s normally a job for women. Of course, our store is unusual in that all but one of our management staff members are women. Today, I am working and this very rude, elderly customer with all the sense of entitlement and arrogance that come with being a retired professor from a Christian college insists on me accepting his coupon that he knows expired two weeks ago. I agree to call my manager to the front.)

Old Man: “Yeah, get the manager. Bring him out.”

Me: *pages* “Manager to the front.”

Manager: “How can I help?”

Old Man: “I didn’t ask for another cashier. I wanted to speak to the manager.”

Manager: “I am the assistant store manager and lead for this shift, which my vest and badge both show. How can I help?”

Old Man: “That’s sweet, hon. I said I wanted to talk to the manager of this store about getting this young kid—” *I’m thirty* “—to do his job and accept my coupon. Where is he?”

Manager: “I am the only manager at this store right now. If you want to speak to someone and get your matter resolved, it will be me.”

Old Man: “I’ll come back when there’s a man to talk to, not some little girl.”

Manager: “I’ve had enough and tried to be nice. I was watching and listening from the cameras in the back office, so I can take care of this now.”

Old Man: “Good, I want the coupon for half off plus some for my troubles today.”

Manager: “One, you’re not getting a discount because this coupon expired already and there’s no way to honor it, so stop trying to bully my cashier into giving you a discount you don’t deserve. Two, your behavior is clearly unprofessional to a level that I’m banning you from entering this store for 24 hours. If you come back and bully my cashiers or act in the derogatory manner you’ve displayed today, it will become a permanent ban.”

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Her Brain Has Expired

, , , , , , | Right | December 14, 2019

(I am a cashier at a large store. We frequently have issues with coupons being misused for fraud and illegal gains, so I’ve learned to really check to make sure they are right. I’ve worked at this store for two years doing this. A customer hands over a coupon. I inspect it and realize it is for a product she does not have, and one we do not even carry in our store.)

Me: “I’m sorry, this is for the lotion, not the lip balm. See, it has a picture of the lotion and says, ‘Try our lotion.'”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. If you don’t do this often it can be confusing, but you can use this for any of their products.”

Me: “It says this is for the lotion. Also, the coupon is six months expired.”

Customer: “No, you aren’t doing it right; you don’t understand. I know it can be confusing but you don’t know how it works; it can be used for anything.”

Me: “Sorry, but I can’t use this.”

(Understandably, we cannot take expired coupons because the manufacturer will not pay us back for them.)

Customer: “Well, I mean, okay, if you don’t know that’s just too bad that I have to go through this because you don’t know what you’re doing.”

(The customer doesn’t say she does not want the item, so I complete her transaction. She sits at my register staring at her receipt for a good minute and a half before she speaks up.)

Customer: “I don’t want this item since you didn’t use my coupon; do I need to return it here or over at that desk?”

(I returned the item there. She proceeded to stand at the next check lane carefully inspecting her receipt for another five minutes. This customer walked away thinking I was an idiot who “doesn’t know how coupons work” because I wouldn’t take an expired coupon for the wrong product.)

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She Wants To Use That Coupon And On And On

, , , , , , | Right | December 11, 2019

(I work at a store that has its own coupons in both printed and digital formats. Like nearly every other place that does coupons, it says right in the fine print that the coupon “must be surrendered at time of transaction.” While this is trickier for the digital coupons, since we can’t just take away someone’s cell phone, it’s a very simple task for the paper coupons. My personal habit is to take a pen and draw a big X over the barcode if the customer hasn’t already torn out the coupon from our mailers. I find this to be faster and more effective when we have big lines. I’ve been doing it this way for a couple of years and never had an issue, until this one lady comes through my register with her mailer. I tell the lady her total and pull my pen from my apron, reach for her mailer, and draw an X on one of three coupons she used. She immediately snatches her mailer and holds it to her chest.)

Customer: “You’re not supposed to be doing that!”

Me: *blinks for a moment in surprise* “Uh, it’s supposed to be surrendered at the time of purchase. I just find crossing off the barcode easier and more efficient than tearing them out.”

Customer: “You’re the only one who ever does this! You’re not supposed to be doing that! I come in here all the time, and no one else ever does that!”

(I try to explain in different ways that, at the very least, I need to mark the coupon as used, including pointing out that it’s company policy and my coworkers should be doing it, as well. Yet we just go in circles as she keeps insisting that I’m not supposed to do that, and I’m the only one who EVER does that. Finally, I spot my store manager walking up to another register to help with the queue.)

Me: “Would you like to speak with my manager about this? He’s right over there.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to speak with a manager. You’re just not supposed to do this!”

(Fed up, I bluntly call her out in a deadpan tone.)

Me: “You just don’t want to talk to him because you’re afraid you’ll lose your coupons.”

Customer: “You can’t take them away from me! You’re not allowed! No one else ever tries to do this but you!”

Me: “Well, then, thank you for informing us about this severe lack of discipline in our store.”

(She took her purchase and left in a huff, still clutching the mailer to her chest like it was her newborn baby. And yes, I did tell my store manager as soon as the line was gone.)

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Why Even Bother Putting Text On Coupons Anymore

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2019

(During high school, I work as a fountain worker at a large chain of family restaurants. Every so often, the company sends coupon flyers in the mail to promote new entrees and new sundaes. All coupons state in fine print, “one coupon per party” — in other words, only one coupon per group paying together. One night, a woman at the window just doesn’t understand.)

Woman: “I’d like a [sundae and toppings].”

Man: “And I’ll take a [sundae and toppings].”

Me: “All right, anything else?”

Woman: “We have coupons!” *hands me two of the same coupon: half price for a regular sundae*

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can only take one coupon; it’s one coupon per party. If you’d like, I can ring them up separately so you and your husband can both get the discount.”

Woman: *suddenly enraged* “What?! You’re kidding me! Where does it say that? That’s ridiculous!”

Me: *showing her the bottom of the coupon* “It’s right here.”

Woman: “’One per party’? That’s one coupon type per party! What, am I going to have a party by myself?!”

Me: “Ma’am, my register won’t even take two coupons on the same order. I really am sorry. Like I said, I can put them in as separate orders—”

Woman: “No! That’s stupid! Why the h*** would I pay twice?!”

Man: “It is kind of dumb…”

Woman: “Isn’t it?” *turns to the large group waiting to order behind her* “Isn’t it?! Who here can have a party with themselves? Huh? Anyone?! See? No one can! Now fix your machine!”

Me: “As I said, the machine can’t—”

Woman: “Fix it!”

Me: “Let me get my manager.”

(I shut the window and one of the senior waitresses near the window opens it to try and speak with the woman while I try and find the GM. I get to the back of the restaurant and I can still hear the woman in the front yelling about the coupons. The manager follows me up and talks with the woman.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am, what seems to be the trouble?”

Woman: “Your stupid waitress won’t take my coupons!”

Manager: “All right, let me see.” *looks at the coupons* “Well, it says only one per party, meaning only one per check. Our system won’t even take two at the same time. If you’d like, I can split the order into two separate checks so you can use both.”

Woman: “No! Why would I pay twice?! I already told that teeny-bopper no! I’m not paying with my card twice!”

Manager: “I understand, but ma’am, our system—”

Woman: “No! You put it through!”

Manager: “All right, ma’am, I’ll pay for your sundae. Just remember for next time that it’s one per check.”

Woman: “Humph!”

(My manager rang them up and comped the sundaes, and when I handed them to the woman, she snatched them from my hands like I was diseased. At least the husband seemed to feel bad and slipped me $5 as a tip!)

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