The Eruption Of Tomatoa

, , , , , , | Working | September 9, 2018

About 15 years ago, I went to the drive-thru at [Fast Food Place] and ordered a grilled chicken sandwich with no tomato. When I got the bag, I looked in and saw a sandwich wrapper with a tag attached that said, “Special order, no tomato.” I drove a few miles away, parked the car, and settled down to eat my lunch.

Unwrapping the sandwich, I found that even with the “no tomato” tag, it still had a slice. I picked it off and left it on the wrapper, then proceeded to eat my sandwich.

An hour or so later, I was heading back in the direction of the same place, so I pulled in. There happened to be no line, and the pickup window was open, so I pulled up to it, plopped my wrapper with the “no tomato” tag outside and the tomato slice inside on the counter inside the window, and took off.

I hope the manager got the message.

Sweet Mystery Sauce

, , , , , , , , | Related | September 9, 2018

I will start off by saying that my mom is a very sweet and kind lady. However, sometimes she can be a little… judgy, especially towards my husband. He is more than aware of this, but they usually get along pretty well.

My mom recently had a project for work — involving crafting and kids — that used sugar. She had no idea how much sugar she would need, so she did what any reasonable person would do; she bought a large 35-pound bag of sugar. She didn’t need nearly that much, and is now up to her elbows in sugar. She has started storing it in large containers and putting them in the freezer.

Notably, my husband and I go through a lot of sugar, the biggest contributing factor being that he is a hopeless coffee addict. One evening, I’m getting ready to leave my parents’ house when it starts storming. My husband had asked me earlier in the day to stop at the store on the way home and pick up sugar. Upon seeing the rain, I mention to my mom that I don’t really feel like stopping. She goes to the freezer and pulls out what is probably about three or four pounds of sugar and gives it to me, telling me to let her know if I need more. I thank her and head out.

Not two weeks later, we have used most of the container, and I estimate that we will be out in a day or two. I mention to my husband that I will probably ask for more sugar when I see my mom next. He suggests buying some from the store because he “doesn’t want my mom’s judgment about our sugar usage.” I wave him off, and my mom is happy to unload more sugar.

A couple days later, I mention to my husband that she didn’t seem to care about our rate of sugar intake. In fact, she had more to say about the fact that I had brought my drink from home with me when I went to visit, instead of taking one that she offered!

My husband was silent for a moment before finally saying, “Your mother is an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, and slathered with mystery sauce.”

Unfiltered Story #119936

, , , , | Unfiltered | September 9, 2018

When I was in grade school I had a really terrible teacher I’ll call Ms. Trunchbull because she was a shot put champion in high school. Now Ms. Trunchbull hated my guts with a fiery passion and being all of nine years old just could not figure out why. In early October the district psychologist had diagnosed me with a mild executive processing disorder, so for the first time I had an IEP (many years later I learned that this was why she hated me). Immediately after she changed all her lesson plans to things that I absolutely could not do and denied me any extra time for tests and assignments. The smallest excuse was used to give me detention, so I was an hour late everyday and never got recess. I tried to tell the support teacher but she either didn’t believe me or didn’t have the power to do anything about it.

Now because I had an IEP our classroom got a computer a full year before every other class because it was supposed to help me learn or something. This was where the Big Bad Terrible Thing happened. You see Dad was a computer programmer, we had a computer so he could supposedly work from home, but if he wasn’t using it I could. Ours was a dos machine and far, far, more complicated to use than the simple IBM terminal in class that could only run programs off floppies (the big ones not the little 3 1/4 inch floppies). The day after we got the class computer, Ms. Trunchbull was very late. So late that the VP was supervising my class of very bored nine year olds. Me being a big nerd even at that age, asked to use the computer to play games and the VP agreed as long as I showed everyone else how to use the computer.

As I was walking my class through playing Number Munchers, the VP got called away. So out walks the VP and about ten minutes later in walks Ms. Trunchbull. To a crowd exclaiming how smart and cool I was. She absolutely lost it. She screamed at me that I was stupid, I was infecting all the normal kids with my stupid and that the entire class had detention for the rest of the week for allowing themselves to be infected with my stupid. From that point on any kid that spoke to me got detention, I was not allowed to participate in gym and she tried to get me barred from field trips.

Up until this point she had plausible explanations for everything but couldn’t explain this away. My parents didn’t believe me, but the other kids told their parents, who complained to the school. Then she screwed up big time. She just left me in the classroom after school for detention, while she went to a staff meeting; a three-hour staff meeting. I was supposed to go over to a friend’s so Mom didn’t know anything was wrong until about 4:30 when my friend’s mom called her wondering where I was. My mom called the school and of course Ms. Trunchbull lied. Unfortunately for her the janitor was doing an early room check and found me reading a book in the cloakroom. I’d like to say that they fired her on the spot but it was my word against hers and she remained my teacher for the rest of the school year.

It did however spark an investigation into her and eventually her contract was not renewed two years later. They made her the computer teacher the next year to minimize her contact with children, and the 5-8 gym teacher the year after. I found out through my friendship with the school secretary that her behaviour towards me was not an isolated incident, during the investigation several parents came forward about her bullying and it was suspected but not proven that she drove a student to suicide (she was his teacher the year he killed himself). She was deemed un-hireable by the school board, so I don’t think she was ever a teacher again.

Say Goodbye To This Dress

, , , , , , | Right | September 7, 2018

Years ago my mum was working in a clothes shop with a one-month return policy.

A customer bought a returned dress, but soon returned it, complaining of a rash that the dress had caused.

After making sure it was not an allergy issue, they sent the dress off to be tested, and the results told them that there were traces of embalming fluid on the dress. That’s the stuff they put on dead people to keep them looking nice for open-casket funerals.

Someone had put this dress on a person so that their friends and relatives could say goodbye, then took it off them and returned it to the shop. Apparently it never occurred to them that that was a bit weird.

They Had One Job…

, , , , , , , | Working | September 6, 2018

When products get recalled, our managers print out a copy of the information regarding the recalled products for the service desk. We’ve had quite a few recalled products lately. One was front page news — bacteria outbreak — when it happened, but a few others were merely typos on the labels. This particular event, I was working the desk with my little sister when we got handed a recall notice.

Notice: “These [breaded oysters] are being recalled because some packages contained broccoli instead of oysters.”

We still haven’t figured out how anyone could mistake broccoli for oysters, but this happened.

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