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Don’t Mind Us, Just Casually Divorcing Here

, , , , | Legal | June 16, 2022

A few years ago, my ex-husband and I went through a pretty amicable divorce. The initial decision was tough, of course, but after separating, we both agreed it was the right choice. I don’t know about every state, but in ours, you have to be legally separated — living at separate addresses! — for one year and one day in order to proceed with a divorce petition. Don’t even get me started on how hard this makes it for some people, depending on their situation.

So, our year and a day passed and we got a court date. Since we’d already agreed on how we’d split our small list of assets (no children involved, which made the process easier) in our separation agreement, we represented ourselves at the courthouse for the filings and then for the final decree. In total, it was five different visits to different government offices over the course of a few months. Every place we went, we got the strangest looks from the staff because we were doing this together. I’m sure that is rare, but at one office, we had to spell it out several times before the clerk would take the paperwork. She kept assuming we wanted to get married, not divorced.

The funniest encounter, though, was when our “summons” documents were ready to announce our final court date. I was the one who filed for the divorce, so I was the plaintiff and my ex-husband was the defendant. The summons for the defendant had to go out one of two ways: delivery by special messenger and signed for upon receipt, or delivery by an officer of the law. At the time, he worked twelve-hour shifts and couldn’t wait around for a special messenger, not knowing what day it would arrive. I asked if I could just hand it to him and was explicitly told that would be illegal and would force us to start the process over again.

Instead, we went to the summons window, the clerk handed me the summons, and we went to the police department window on the other end of the room. With both of us standing right there, I handed the summons to a cop, who signed that he’d received it and then turned and handed it to my ex-husband. The whole time, we could tell the cop was trying to keep a straight face. We thanked him and managed to make it outside before we lost it. It was one of those situations where we were coming out of the stress of making the decision to divorce and were so frustrated by the red tape that we just had to laugh.

Everything went fine after that, and our divorce was finalized in February of 2020. In March of 2020, our entire state went on lockdown and the government offices closed. If we’d waited just a couple of weeks in our scheduling of everything, we likely wouldn’t have been able to get everything finished for another year. I felt so bad for the people stuck in that process limbo.

You’ve Bean Naughty, And Now It’s Time For Payback

, , , , , , | Working | CREDIT: ANONYMOUS BY REQUEST | June 16, 2022

I am known to purchase the giant jar of JellyBellies from a warehouse chain. It’s a very reasonable price. I take them to work with me. I don’t mind people coming in and shaking out a handful. But I have a coworker who badmouths me behind my back, always wants in on lunch runs, and always promises to get us next time and therefore never actually pays. She regularly comes in and takes a whole mug full of JellyBellies without asking permission — or even saying hi — and makes it clear that she hates me but loves the JellyBelly supply. I had to take action.

We are both early morning people, so there is usually an hour or so with nobody but the two of us in the office, so I knew there would be no innocent victims.

You can buy a box of the JellyBelly game, which contains an assortment of beans that come in identical pairs. One has a good flavor and one flavor is horrible: is that bean coconut or rotten eggs? Will you get soap, earthworm, dishwater, or booger? In the game, you spin a spinner and eat whatever color it tells you to eat, and you have a fifty-fifty chance of getting a good flavor or a nasty one. It’s actually a fun game — among friends.

However, this did not involve a friend, so I happily bought a box of the nasty mix and dumped it into the jar. There were only one or two inches of beans left in the bottom, so this was a sacrifice I was willing to make. And then I waited.

I left my office for a bit, came back, and saw that there were significantly fewer beans left. Perfect.

About ten minutes later, I heard a wonderful cacophony of gagging, retching, and utterances of disgust, accompanied by what sounded suspiciously like something being spit into the trash can down the hall. With said trash can having a hint of a whiff of rotten egg. With a cup of uneaten JellyBelly added to the top of the trash.

The remainder of the jug went into my own trash can. A new stash was purchased, and for the past two weeks, I have noticed that it is not draining as quickly as it used to.

That particular coworker hasn’t said a word to me since — not that she was actually talking to me before, but at least now she isn’t mooching off of somebody she hates.

This Experience Changes People

, , , , , | Right | June 16, 2022

I am working the cash registers one day. It is quite a hectic one, but manageable. In comes a family.

Their purchase is slightly above 100€. I tell them the price and the father/husband… puts a plastic bag full of coins on the counter. “That’s 80€,” he says.

Obviously, I have to check that, so I begin counting, making stacks of coins worth 10€. Fortunately, it is 2€, 1€, and 50c pieces so not a complete pain in the a** to count. After a few minutes, I confirm that there are indeed 80€. Meanwhile, he adds a few more coins and a 5€ note, so now the amount is enough.

I have just spent what feels like ten minutes counting coins, while there were around five other guys waiting to pay for their stuff. I look up to the guy to hand him his receipt and what do I see in his hand? A 100€ NOTE!

Thankfully, the other customers have a good laugh and tell me that they are going to pay by card or have the amount in reasonable quantities of coins.

Pretty much everyone I’ve told this story to told me that I could’ve/should’ve refused to take the coins, but I don’t know if I was actually allowed to do that. Also, my register was now full of coins when I was previously on the verge of opening a new coin roll, so I guess I have to thank that guy.

Maybe Those People Just Had Pet Allergies?

, , , , | Friendly | June 15, 2022

The fact that I’m at a fundraising dinner for wolf research and education makes this even more ironic. My partner and I are some of the first to arrive, and we happily take a seat at a big communal table already occupied by a gentleman with a service dog.

We start chatting and he sadly tells us how many dirty looks he’s received as people passed them by. We witness some of the treatment as people head further into the facility. The dog is a beautiful black lab mix and lying patiently at his side. We don’t bother her but we talk about animals and the shelters and rescue. The current facility has a pack of wolves raised by people and serves as an example for education while they still respect them as wild animals.

After everyone filters in, our table is still mostly empty but one of the staff brings a bowl of water for the service dog (with permission). The meals are terrific and our table fills up with the staff and biologists from the facility. We also get to meet the facility’s founder!

The conversation is amazing and the gentleman even gives a brief “release” command so his service dog can do the happy puppy thing and get pets from everyone. At the end, he gives her a signal and it’s back to work.

It was so cool to witness and interact with him and these amazing professionals, all because we chose to sit by a working dog.

This Computer Repair Is Green Across The Board

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 14, 2022

A mom drops off a gaming PC. Allegedly, her son has been complaining about it overheating and she’s decided to see what can be done about it as a surprise for his birthday, meaning she removed the PC from the house without his knowledge. Remember that.

This is in the summer, so overheating cases are common, and most PCs only require some quick treatment with our air gun. However, when the tech examines this one, she has concerns about the power supply, so she accepts the computer for repair with apologies, explaining that, due to our current traffic, it will be a number of days before it even makes it to the bench.

The customer seems displeased by this but accepts the tech’s explanation and quote, clearing us to do the work.

We assume that she told her son about this as he began to call the shop every… single… day. He calls every day, multiple times a day, asking if we have started work on his PC.

Eventually, the technician, who happens to be the owner’s daughter, gets fed up with it and gets permission from her father to deal with the computer and get it out of our shop.

As soon as she pops the side panel off, we find out why this kid has been calling us so incessantly.

Apparently, when his PC is off while he is at school or work or whatever he does (I don’t know his age) he uses the PC case to hide his weed as neither parent is the type to open up a computer.

Now, this isn’t the cause of the overheating problem, but it is the cause of a new legal dilemma, as this is 2009 and marijuana legalization hasn’t begun anywhere yet.

In the end, the owner of the shop decides to call the mother and bring her down to the store where he explains to her exactly why we have to reject the repair, giving her the chance to handle the issue without police involvement. 

I’m not sure what the conversation came down to, but in the end, that PC ended up in our “scrap for parts” pile and never saw the light of day again.