(We are at the States Tennis Tournament for high school sports. We are watching a boys doubles match, and the opponents, who are supposed to be brothers, don’t exactly look it. A Guy Friend decides to bring it up, and is talking quite loudly.)
Guy Friend: “They don’t look like brothers.”
Other Friend: “They’re supposed to be.”
Guy Friend: “Coach said they have different mothers and same father.”
Other Friend: “Really?”
(After a few minutes of talking, a parent we don’t know, who has been standing behind us the whole time, speaks up.)
Parent: “No, they have the same mother.”
Guy Friend: “Then same mother, different fathers?”
Parent, giggling to herself: “No, same mother, same father.”
(Everyone bursts out laughing, except my Guy Friend, who proceeds to throw our coach under the bus)

The other day I was reffing a youth hockey game. It was a girls youth hockey game with the girls ages 12 and under.
The first period went smoothly with no pentalies or anything.
About half way through the second period i was skating by one of the benches.
(Im naturally a bug guy: Eigth Grade, 6’1, 205lbs.)
Out of the corner of my ear all I hear is,
Her: “Coach, Coach look at that ref he looks like an Ogre.”
I looked back and saw the coach and he was obviously very embarrased and mouthed sorry to me. I was so confused whether or not I should be offended.
After I told my reffing instructor about this story he laughed for about 5 minutes and scheduled me for every game that the team had for the rest of the season.

I’m at a hockey game waiting in line for a drink. A few people ahead of me in the next line over there were this mother and son. It was clear the boy had some sort of mental handicap. 

As this guy who had just bought drinks and food was walking away from the counter, the boy accidentally ran into him and knocked everything out of the guy’s arms. But, even after seeing that this boy clearly had a handicap, and after his mother apologized several times and offered to pay for all of his food and drinks, instead of exercising a little patience or showing a little human decency, this guy said:

“Are you f****** kidding me?! He shouldn’t be allowed out in public! What kind of person brings someone like him out around other people? From now on, try keeping your d*** [ableist slur] on a leash!”

Just as a couple of people in line started to move forward and shut this jerk up, an older woman — maybe in her mid-60s — walked up to him and just slapped him right across the face! 

She said, “You are the only disgrace that I see! How dare you speak to another person like that?! Who on Earth raised you? If I were your mother, I would be embarrassed, and you should feel so ashamed.” 

And then, to top it all off… another gentleman in line paid for this mother and her son’s food and the jerk stormed off, empty-handed and pouting. 

God, I love Bostonians.

(I am working for security at a college football game, and part of my job is to make sure that all drinks brought into the game are unopened. This event occurs between me and an older man.)

Me: “Is that water opened?”

Man: “No”

Me: “Okay!” *steps aside to let him pass*

Man: *steps close to me* “How do you know I’m not lying?”

Me: *trying to think of a response*

Man: “I’d go to Hell, then, wouldn’t I?” *slowly walks away*

Me: *speechless*

(My dad and I are attending a game for our local football team and, as usual, it is more or less a sell-out. Visiting is a particularly popular London team and there are two fans behind us who seem particularly cocky about their team winning this game. During the match, things are neck and neck pretty early on, and at one stage, one of the opposing strikers is about to shoot the ball.)

Fan #1: “Oh, my God, he’s nailed it… It’s in!”

(The ball sails wide of the post.)

Fan #1: “What?! I was sure that was going in!”

(A couple of minutes later, the same player is about to shoot yet again.)

Fan #1: “Oh, my God, he’s nailed it… It’s in!”

(The ball flies over the crossbar. Later in that half, the same thing happens yet again.)

Fan #1: “HE’S NAILED IT! IT’S…”

(This time, the goalie saves it easily.)

Fan #2: “Maybe you should stop f****** saying that, you idiot! 

(One final time, right before the end of the half…)

Fan #1: “Oh, my God, he’s… 

Fan #2: “If you finish that bloody sentence, you’ll be missing your f****** teeth! 

(My team went on to win four to nothing, and those guys were very quiet for the rest of the game.)