An Introversion Of Justice

, , , , , , | Learning | October 17, 2018

(I’m in tenth grade. My English teacher is a first-year teacher, and is very mild-mannered. My classmates figure this out quickly, and take advantage of it. Despite being in an honors class, we learn nothing all year, as everyone constantly talks and argues over the teacher. She usually gives up midway through the period. I am naturally introverted, and none of my friends are in my class, so I just try to focus on my work and tune out my classmates. At the end of the year, we are starting to pick out classes for the next year. My teacher gets up to speak.)

Teacher: “QUIET!”

(Everyone shuts up and stares, as we’ve never heard her raise her voice.)

Teacher: “I know it’s class-picking day for next year. I also know that many of you will ask me if you can take Advanced Placement English next year for college credit. The answer is no.”

(The class erupts in protest.)

Teacher:You will let me finish! This class has been extremely disrespectful all year. AP classes are a privilege, not a right, and none of you have behaved well enough to earn it. Now, I will call each of you up, and I will tell you what level of English you’ll be in next year. Most of you don’t even deserve to be in honors.”

(She stomps back to her desk, sits down, and starts barking out last names. As I sit near her desk, I can hear most of my classmates begging to take AP or honors. She flatly denies every request. I’m the last one she calls up.)

Teacher: *barks* “[My Last Name]!”

(I timidly approach.)

Teacher: *quietly* “Now, what did you have in mind for next year?”

(I really want AP English, but I remember what she said, so I decide to play it safe.)

Me: “Um… honors, I guess. If that’s okay with you.”

Teacher: “Oh. I had you pegged as an AP English student next year.”

Me: “Well… I’d like to take AP, but you said you weren’t going to approve it.”

Teacher: “Ah, you were paying attention. But I always intended to make an exception for my best students. In this period, that’s you. You are a hard worker, and it shows.” *signs the paper and hands it back to me* “Plus, you’ve been quiet in class all year. I appreciate that. Now, don’t mention this to anyone else.”

(The bell rang. I ducked out. Being an introvert does pay off sometimes!)

Shooting For Something Useful

, , , | Learning | October 16, 2018

(Four older students have come to give a presentation to my class of freshmen. Our professor is supervising.)

Professor: “All right, teach them something useful. Teach them how to manage their hangovers!”

Professor: “I’m kidding.”

Professor: *in a stage whisper* “Manage. Your. Shots.”

You Are Commonly Uncommon

, , , , | Learning | October 12, 2018

I took a first aid course with a friend. We had completed most of the course when the tutor announced she was going to show us some photographs of “uncommon” injuries to see how we would treat them. She stressed we would be unlikely to encounter them but wanted to see how we would apply our new knowledge.

First photo: we suggested treatment, discussed it a bit, all okay.

Second photo: exactly the injury my mum had a couple of years ago.

Third photo: the same injury my friend’s son had last year.

Fourth photo (according to the tutor, a very rare one): something my husband did a few years back.

I think we slightly screwed up the tutor’s lesson plan.

What Leftist Nonsense!

, , , , , , , | Learning | October 11, 2018

(My right hand was amputated when I was a baby. My school isn’t told before I start there as there isn’t really anything I can’t do with one hand. I am eleven years old, on my first day at my new secondary school.)

Teacher: “Can everyone write their full names on their homework planners, please?”

(The class does.)

Teacher: “Can we be doing this with our rights hands, please? We do things properly at this school.”

(We all look up in confusion, then carry on exactly as we were.)

Teacher: *pointing at me* “I said, ‘right hand!’

Me: *holding up right arm* “I’m sorry, miss, but I don’t have a right hand.”

Teacher: “Stop being silly and write with your right hand.”

(I rotate my arm to show the front and back of my forearm.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, miss, but I don’t have a right hand; it was amputated when I was a baby.”

Teacher: “Then go and sit outside the Headmaster’s office. I will not have your defiance in my classroom.”

(I gather my things and leave, very confused as to what I have done wrong. The Headmaster calls me into his office and I explains why I am there.)

Headmaster: “So, you don’t have a right hand, and were told to use your right hand… which you don’t have?”

Me: “Pretty much.”

Headmaster: “Well, we can tape the pen to the end of your arm, I suppose. Yes, that is better than this left-handed nonsense. You’ll use your right arm from now on.”

(I left his office totally bewildered and used my left hand for the rest of the day with no issues. I told my parents, who reported it to the school governors. The headmaster retired a month later, and the teacher went on maternity leave later in the year and never came back. It wasn’t mentioned again. I wasn’t able to move schools, as no school in the area had a spare place. It was all a bit weird.)

Two Rights Can Right A Wrong

, , , , , | Learning | October 10, 2018

(I am taking driving lessons so I can obtain my commercial vehicle license. The practical lessons take place in a real semi-trailer truck, with me in the driver’s seat, my instructor in the passenger’s seat, and another student sitting on one of the beds in the sleeper cab.)

Instructor: “Okay, [My Name], make a right turn.”

(I get nervous, and end up missing the opportunity to turn. With no other choice, I continue driving straight.)

Instructor: “Okay, [Classmate], close the curtains and go hide in a corner.”

Classmate: “What? Why?”

Instructor: “[My Name] just missed his turn. Now we’re in [Different City]. Sitting in the sleeper cab was perfectly legal when we were still in [Previous City], but not here. If the police see you back there, [My Name] could get a ticket.”

Classmate: “Okay, I’ll go hide myself.”

Instructor: “All right, [My Name], we’re going to make two right turns now.”

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