Not Giving You A-Ten-tion

, , , , , | Learning | June 16, 2018

(It’s my senior year, the day after an awards ceremony for students in the top 10% academically for their year. I was invited to the ceremony, but given a different award even though I am in the top 10% of students. It’s not something I particularly care about, but I am curious as to how I didn’t qualify, so during lunch I stop by the registrar.)

Me: “Hi, I have a quick question about the board of trustees awards yesterday.”

Registrar: “Yes, what about it?”

Me: “So, I am in the top ten for the class of 2015, but I didn’t receive the award. I don’t really care all that much that I didn’t get it, but I guess I just wanted to know why I didn’t qualify?”

Registrar: “The trustee award is only for students in the top 10% for the year, not overall.”

Me: “Yeah, I get that, but here’s the thing: I’ve only gotten the award once before, and I just qualified for the top 10% overall this year. So. I don’t understand how I could be graduating top ten, but not be in the top 10% for this specific year.”

(The registrar starts getting irritated.)

Registrar: “Look, they just give me a list of names. It’s too late to change anything. You didn’t get the award.”

Me: “I know, and like I said, I’m really fine with that. But from a math standpoint, can’t you agree it doesn’t really make sense?”

Registrar: “I just have a list.”

Me: “But—”

Registrar: “I just have a list! You weren’t in the top ten, so you didn’t get the award. I have other students to talk to, so go back to class.”

(There were no other students waiting, but I decided to let this one go.)

The Cursive Curse

, , , , | Learning | June 15, 2018

(I am in the second grade, age seven to eight or so, during the mid-seventies. Over the summer my mother, has taught me how to write cursive. I have an older brother, so she knew that later on that year we’d be learning it, so I guess she figured she’d give me a head start. In class I am taking notes. The teacher comes to my desk, sees what I am doing, and tears that page out of my notebook!)

Me: “Why did you do that?”

Teacher: “I haven’t taught that yet!”

(She made me take my notes in print until SHE taught us cursive later in the year.)

Don’t Know Their Own Monkey-Business

, , , , , | Learning | June 15, 2018

(I teach seventh- and eighth-grade science. Our local zoo is reopening the exhibit that houses monkeys, apes, and other similar animals. There is a special open house for teachers. Immediately after school, I pick up my three-year-old at daycare and head off to the zoo. We enter the exhibit and come to the spider monkeys. My son asks what they are. Before I can answer, [Teacher #1] says:)

Teacher #1: “Those are spider monkeys, honey.”

(She and [Teacher #2] seem to be pacing us. At the next exhibit:)

Teacher #2: “Look, honey, those are mandrills, like in The Lion King.”

(At the next window:)

Teacher #1: “Those are orangutans. They look like orange men.”

(We get to the next window. The animals inside are clearly eager to see people and hang from the glass in front of my son.)

Teacher #2: “Look, honey, see the monkey?”

(My son has decided he’s had enough of these women.)

Son: “No. That’s not a monkey. That’s a lemur. He’s a ring-tail lemur. That one is a ruffed lemur.”

Teacher #1: “No, that’s a monkey. Let’s see if I can find out what kind it is.”

Me: “It’s a lemur, not a monkey. He’s right.”

Teacher #2: “Oh, this sign says they are not monkeys. They are lemurs.”

Teacher #1: “He needs to learn not to correct teachers.”

Me: “Teachers need to learn to not tell kids wrong information.”

(They were very offended as they stormed off.)

Teachers Barely Make A Mint

, , , , , | Learning | June 14, 2018

(My classmate sees my teacher getting a mint out of his desk as he is asking to go the bathroom.)

Classmate: “Can I have a mint?”

Teacher: “No.”

Classmate: “Why?”

Teacher: “Because then I would have to give everyone a mint.”

Classmate: “Rock-paper-scissors, then.”

Teacher: “No.”

Classmate: “Best out of three.”

Teacher: “Just go to the bathroom.”

Classmate: *as he is walking out of the room, yells* “[Teacher] has mints!”

(Everyone stares at the teacher.)

Teacher: “D*** it, [Classmate]!”

I “Haven’t” Got Anything Nice To Say

, , , , , , | Learning | June 14, 2018

(I am meeting with my advisor to discuss scheduling my first classes. I was enrolled at another college a few years prior to this for a different major, but decided to move back home and switch to a medical field. On my way to the campus, there is a traffic jam due to an accident. I call my advisor’s office and leave a voicemail explaining my tardiness and apologizing. I arrive ten minutes late and rush in, still apologizing to the secretary. She smiles and asks if I’d like a seat and some water. Before I can answer, I hear a cough behind me. My advisor sticks his head out of his office.)

Advisor: “[My Name]?”

Me: “Yes. Yes, I’m so sorry. There was an accident and I—”

Advisor: “Late is late.”

Me: “Oh. Okay. I left a voicemail for you—”

Advisor: “I don’t care.”

Me: “Okay… Can we still meet or should I reschedule?”

Advisor: *long pause* “I can run through your curriculum with you this time, but next time, leave earlier.”

Me: “Okay.”

(Throughout the entire meeting, I get the feeling he simply doesn’t like me. He asks questions and doesn’t wait for an answer, and he assumes I know nothing about college or how classes work, basically implying that I’m an idiot. He actually makes a phone call, not related to our meeting, when I am mid-sentence! Finally, this happens:)

Advisor: “There are links here at the bottom of this page. They cover studies you should be familiar with before your first class. Have you followed them?”

Me: “No, I haven’t seen them, but I will tonight.”

Advisor: “Excuse me?”

Me: “I’ll watch them tonight.”

Advisor: “No. What did you say, exactly?”

Me: “Uh, I think I said—” *repeats*

Advisor: *stares at me* “Proper grammar is very important.”

Me: “What did I say?”

Advisor: “You don’t say, ‘haven’t seen.’ It’s improper.”

Me: “With all due respect, sir, I’m pretty sure ‘haven’t seen’ is correct.”

Advisor: “…”

Me: “…”

Advisor: “Get out.”

Me: “What? Why?”

Advisor: “I will not waste my time with someone who thinks they know more than me.”

Me: “I wasn’t trying to say that.”

Advisor: “Leave. Now.”

(I left and immediately went home to my husband, angry, confused, and on the verge of tears. He encouraged me to write a letter to the head of the department and the Dean. I did, and they both agreed that my advisor was out of line. I switched advisors and went on to get my degree. I haven’t seen him since.)

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