Weeding Them Out Early

, , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(I’m working a closing shift one night when a group of rowdy teenagers comes through the door. One of them approaches me:)

Teen: “Where’s the manager?”

Me: “That would be me.”

Teen: “We were just wondering: Do you have to pass a drug test to work here?”

Me: “What kind of drugs would we be testing for?”

Teen: “Weed!” *the whole group erupts in laughter, and the “spokesman” for the group high fives a few of them*

Me: “Actually, yes; there’s a brand-new policy stating that we do, in fact, have to test.”

Teen: *disheartened* “Dang.”

Me: “…”

Scrub Yourself Of This Experience

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I am a dental assistant, and I am stopping by [Store] after work one evening to pick up some cat food when I am flagged down by a woman.)

Woman: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Um, yeah?”

Woman: “Finally! Can you tell me if a curling wand is better than a curling iron?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: *angrily* “Are you lying to me?”

Me: *a bit confused* “No, I actually don’t work here.”

Woman: “Then why are you wearing a [Store] uniform?”

Me: “Oh, these are scrubs; I’m actually a dental assistant. If it helps though, I just bought a curling wand last week and I liked it.”

Woman: “Well, you shouldn’t come to the store dressed as an employee; you’re just confusing everyone!”

Employee: “Is everything okay here?”

Woman: *increasingly angrily* “She’s impersonating an employee! Isn’t there some rule about not wearing the store’s uniform if someone doesn’t work here?”

Employee: *quite confusedly* “Well, she’s wearing blue. We wear red and tan here.”

Woman: *shouting* “Everyone here is so rude!”

(The employee and I exchange looks, and when she’s out of earshot we burst out laughing.)

Employee: “You’re wearing scrubs, for God’s sake! Is she colorblind or something?”

Me: “The worst part is, this happens every time I go shopping in my scrubs. This was just the most… interesting incident.”

Selling Cuteness Short

, , , , | Right | November 17, 2017

(I work in a plus-sized clothing store. We carry “regular” and “petite” sizes. The only difference between the two is length, as the “petites” are shorter.)

Customer: “So, what’s the deal with the petite pants?”

Me: “They are cut shorter than the regular sizes. The sizing is the same.”

Customer: “Oh, I thought they just did that to make it cute.”

First Time Being Asked That

, , , , | Working | November 17, 2017

(Although I’ve paid my dues in retail, this time I am the customer. An associate is looking up my account information.)

Associate: “Can I have your last name?”

(I give it to her, and spell it.)

Associate: “Thanks, and do you have a first name?”

Uniformly Rude

, , , | Right | November 16, 2017

(I work at a grocery store, but today is my day off. I’m in a different town at a clothing store when a regular from my store comes up to me, fuming.)

Customer: “You’re not wearing your uniform!”

Me: “No, it’s actually my day off.”

Customer: “Why aren’t you wearing your uniform?! Do you work tonight?”

Me: “No, ma’am. It’s my day off; I only wear my uniform at work.”

Customer: “God! You’re so rude!”

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