The Vendor Defender

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I’m a vendor. I represent certain companies and the products they make. I am working with a manager in dairy with some juice our company makes. This occurs while we are standing and going over upcoming events. The manager is female, in store apparel; I am male, with my company logo all over me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, sir, where can I find [obscure item]?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I have no idea. This lady here—” *points to manager* “—knows everything about this area and can answer that for you.”

(After she directs the customer…)

Me: “While we are standing here, if everyone asks me questions and not you, you have to buy these displays.”

Manager: “You’re on!”

(Cue six people coming up to us in the span of five minutes –all different ages, both male and female. All of them come up to me. To my surprise, even the women immediately come to me.)


Me: “Sign here, please!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 79

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I work in a single-location clothing boutique, and the credit card chip reading machines aren’t always up and running for smaller businesses. Because of this, we check ID on every credit transaction, no matter the amount.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, your total is [total].”

Customer: *hands me an unsigned card*

Me: “And would you happen to have your ID on you?”

Customer: *side eyes me, but pulls it out* “W… Why do you need my ID?”

Me: “It’s just our policy, especially if the card is unsigned!”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: *trying to make a joke* “I’m just making sure you’re spending your own money!”

Customer: “But… but I’ve had this card since 1986. Why wouldn’t it be my money? You’re supposed to sign your card?”

Me: “Oh, that’s what the little box on the back is for! At any rate, we’d just rather check ID, to make sure you and we are protected.”

Customer: “But it’s my money.”

(She then wandered away, totally confused about how someone who wasn’t her could be using her credit card. Poor lady.)

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 78
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 77
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 76

Daylight Saving The Classics

, , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I am the customer in this story. This takes place just after Daylight Savings Time goes into effect in Europe. I walk into a store and see the store owner awkwardly balanced on a chair, adjusting a clock that is mounted on a high shelf.)

Me: *singing* “Oh, the times, they are a-changin’!”

(I couldn’t help it, but at least she laughed.)

Bugged By Being Pedantic

, , , , , | Right | July 18, 2018

(I’m a sales associate at a mom-and-pop store. I’m helping a young Amish woman locate the pest control.)

Customer: “I need some insect killer.”

Me: *takes her to pest control, picks up bottle* “This one is a good kind.”

Customer: “Oh, well, this kind is for bugs.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, I need the kind for insects.”

Me: “…”


, , , | Right | July 17, 2018

(A customer is looking at a circular mirror, trying to figure out if it will fit in her home.)

Customer: “How tall is it?”

Me: “It’s three feet in diameter, ma’am.”

Customer: “But how wide is it?”

Me: “It’s three feet.”

Customer: “No, I meant how wide?!

Customer’s Husband: “It’s a circle!

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