That’s Not The Signature Response

| MO, USA | Right | May 27, 2017

(I work as a cashier at a local retail store. While not often, every now and again the cash registers prompt employees to compare the signatures on credit cards to the customer’s driver’s license. An old lady in her 70s or 80s has finished her check out.)

Me: “All right, your total comes to [amount].”

(The customer proceeds to swipe her card. The cash register then prompts me to compare her signature.)

Me: “Oh, I’m going to have to check your driver’s licence to compare it to the signature on your credit card.”

Lady: *suddenly becoming very annoyed and suspicious* “What?!”

(I am stunned at her sudden change in behavior, having been extremely sweet during the beginning of the transaction, I politely inform her again.)

Me:  “The register is asking me to validate your card’s signature, to make sure it’s yours.”

Lady: *starts fuming and in an utterly irritated and offended tone says* “Young lady, I have used this card for over eight years and not ONCE has it ever asked me for my signature! You can keep these d*** things!”

(She stormed out of there, leaving her cart right at the register, leaving me completely baffled.)

Three ‘Noes’ Could Be A Yes

, , , | Romantic | May 27, 2017

(I work at a well-known company helping to diagnose and troubleshoot devices when things go wrong. While I often have to face challenging, upset, and sometimes downright disrespectful customers, this one today was a bit overenthusiastic. This occurs after I begin to help a customer who has come in with his friend. Both of them are drenched in cologne and are almost 10 years younger than me.)

Guy’s Friend: “Hey, do you know any nice restaurants in this neighborhood?”

Me: *honestly* “No.” *goes back to helping out customer with his issues*

Guy’s Friend: “Oh, because I wanted to take you out.”

Me: “No.”

Guy’s Friend: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I have a boyfriend.”

Guy’s Friend: “But not a husband, so I still have a shot.”

Me: “No.”

Guy’s Friend: “So when we fix this phone, the first number that’s going in is yours.”

Me: “…No.”

(At this point, I just stopped responding to him completely and just focused on my job. It’s amazing how many people don’t care enough to respect personal boundaries to accept a “no” stated so plainly and simply.)

It’s Blue, Not Green, But Making You See Red

| AK, USA | Right | May 26, 2017

(I am ringing out a customer. Everything has gone normally until we reach the end of the transaction, where the customer has swiped her card and then needs to press the appropriate button for Credit, Debit, or EBT.)

Customer: “Credit.” *stands there*

Me: *realizing she probably didn’t notice the prompt* “Oh, credit is the blue button.”

Customer: “…which button for credit?”

Me: “It’s the blue one.”

Customer: “Green?” *presses green*

Me: *sighs internally*

Should Have Known, Fair And Square

| AK, USA | Right | May 25, 2017

(I am a photo specialist at a retail store. This takes place after a customer prints a 4×6 from a square original.)

Customer: “Why is my picture cut off?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, since our dimensions are set, the machine will automatically center the picture. Since it was square, the rectangle won’t fit the full picture.”

Customer: “Well, fix it.”

Me: “I would be more than happy to fix the crop so it shows the main focus of the picture, or change it to a square to show the full picture at [price].”

Customer: “Why does the 4×6 cut off a square picture?”

(Slightly taken by surprise at the question.)

Me: “You are trying to get a rectangle picture from a square original; something will be cut off.”

Customer: “Well, that should be specified! No one will be able to know a rectangle will cut off a square picture!”

(She then walks off without any photos as I try to fully comprehend the conversation.)

Pantyhocks And Lacers And Ellies, Oh My!

| Ireland | Right | May 25, 2017

(I work part-time in a medium-end clothes shop at the weekends. An elderly lady comes into the ladies department I am working in. Note that this customer is not once rude nor does she raise her voice, just is quite hard to get through to.)

Me: “Hi, do you need any help with anything today?”

Customer: “Do you have a top with ellies on it?”

Me: “Umm… sorry, what?”

Customer: “Wee ellies.”

Me: “Sorry, I can’t understand what word you’re saying. Wee what?”

Customer: “Little elephants.”

Me: *sighs internally at this oddly specific request but I grab a tablet to search our website online* “Oh, right, okay. I don’t think we do have any in the store, but I will check the website.”

(I search but to no avail.)

Customer: “Aw, that’s terrible. I really wanted a top with my wee ellies on it.”

Me: “Yes, sorry about th—”

Customer: “I was in [Different Chain Store] in [Other Town #1] and I saw they had some in my size but I didn’t take it, and I returned the week after and they were gone.”

Me: “Oh, that’s unfortunate; sorry to hear that.”

Customer: “Yes, I really wanted them to wear with my wee pantyhocks.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My wee pantyhocks as I call them. Nice trousers I have with elephants on them!”

Me: *laughs nervously* “Oh, right, okay. Sorry we couldn’t help.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *walks away and turns back* “You can’t check your website to see if [Different Chain Store] has them?”

Me: “Erm, no, sorry but this only shows stock available from our store.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.”

Me: “It just seems to be what you want is what we don’t have unfortunately.”

Customer: *tears up* “This has been a terrible weekend for me.”

Me: “I am sorry to hear that; I hope everything is okay?”

Customer: “No, I am visiting here from [Other Town #2] and staying in a B&B. I was sitting on the bed this morning to tie the lacers on my shoes and the bed collapsed underneath me!” *walks away*

(I then retold the story to one of my supervisors and spent five minutes laughing with tears rolling down my face.)

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