They Put The A$s Into Aspergers

, , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I’m standing at our service desk doing some paperwork when two customers approach me regarding a price check. I say “Sure!” and scan the item for them, then tell them the price.)

Customer: “Sir, you don’t have to be so sarcastic with me.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “You shouldn’t take that kind of tone with customers, especially not ones that spend as much as I do here.”

(For the record I’ve worked full-time here for seven years and have never seen her before.)

Me: “I don’t understand, ma’am. I merely scanned the item for you and told you the price; I don’t see how I was rude or disrespectful.”

Customer: “See? There it is again! You have such a snarky tone to what you’re saying!”

(Then it dawns on me…)

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but I have Asperger’s syndrome. It’s a neurological disorder and part of it affects my speech.”

Customer: “As-what?” *she smiles at me wide-eyed, then looks at her companion, who also smiles, like it’s all a big joke*

Me: “As-per-ger’s syndrome.”

(I am now getting uncomfortable, I normally try to hide my condition at all costs. People misunderstand and assume all kinds of things. I even once had a boss almost let me go because he thought it was the same as Alzheimer’s and assumed I would gradually lose my memory.)

Customer: *giving me a sceptical look* “Yeah… well, you should probably get that taken care of, because someone could really misunderstand and think you’re talking that way on purpose.”

Me: *getting angry that she would suggest it’s just as simple as taking a pill or getting a shot* “I wish it were that simple, ma’am, but there’s no cure for it. It’s something I’ll deal with my whole life. I’m sorry that it inconvenienced you.”

(With that they walk away. She’s barely five feet from me when I hear her tell her friend: Well, that’s what we get with equal opportunity employers!)

Will Wait For The Movie

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(This is an e-mail conversation:)

Customer: “I would like to know if [Title] has subtitles.”

(The title in question only appears in book form on our list.)

Coworker: “We cannot find the requested DVD; could you please let us know the article number?”

(The customer sends number of the book.)

Coworker: “Thank you for your e-mail, but this is information about a book.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know it’s a book; I still would like to know if it has subtitles.”

(It wasn’t even a children’s book or a book to learn a language. I had to explain that books in general don’t have subtitles.)

Genderalising The Cause

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I work at a store where customers purchase their items and wait for them to be brought out. It is a hectic day with several staff being absent suffering with gastroenteritis, so we are a bit behind. The store is pretty packed in comparison to usual and the average wait time for collection is 20 minutes. A woman has used the self checkout and walked straight to the counter. My coworker checks her receipt.)

Coworker: “Oh, you’ve just paid. Sorry, but there is a 20 minute wait.”

Customer: “No. I will be collecting my hair dryer now.”

Coworker: “But you’ve just paid. Your order is 83, we’re just on 66.”

Customer: “I’m not waiting. Get my hair dryer NOW!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I can do. You will have to wait, just like everyone else.”

Customer: “How dare you! This is discrimination. Just because I’m a trans woman doesn’t mean I have to be subjected to this kind of harassment.”

Coworker: “What?”

Customer: “Forcing me to wait behind all these cisgendered people, like a SECOND CLASS CITIZEN! Where is your manager? You deserve to be fired!”

Me: “What is the problem?”

(An elderly woman comes into the store at this point.)

Customer: “WHERE’S MY HAIR DRYER! WHY DOES A TRANS WOMAN HAVE TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS IN THE 21ST CENTURY!”

Me: “Madam, do you think anyone in our warehouse knows that you are transgender?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Or the self checkout machine you used to order?”

Customer: *silent*

Me: “Or any of us for that matter before you started mouthing off?”

Customer: “I am a trans woman, and this is discrimination!”

Me: “No, the only person who is making gender an issue in this store is you, and if you do not calm down I will have you wait outside and my coworker here will bring your purchase out to you.”

(The woman opens her mouth to speak when the elderly woman comes up and slaps her on the back of the head. The woman turns around and jumps.)

Customer: “Granny!”

Elderly Woman: “Again? You miserable, ungrateful child. We aren’t paying for your change just so you can be a c***!”

Obese With The Wrong Opinion

, , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(During the summer our store has a garden center. One day I am helping a customer load 35 40 lb bags of topsoil into her SUV. By helping, I mean she plays on her phone while I do all the lifting. By the last few bags I am sweating like a pig and out of breath. I close the tailgate on her car, said “There you go! Have a good one!” and instead of a thank you, I get this:)

Customer: “You’re kinda chunky, aren’t ya?”

Me: “…”

Customer: “If you lost a few pounds, you wouldn’t be so out of breath.”

Me: “Umm, I have asthma, ma’am.”

Customer: *totally ignoring what I just said* “That’s the trouble with you kids now; your parents let you have anything you want instead of practicing a little restraint. That’s the number one cause of child obesity these days.”

Me: “I’m 37 years old, and while I’ll admit I’m not at my ideal weight, I would hardly consider myself obese, thank you. To tell you the truth it’s not so much the overeating that makes me the way I am, but all the drinking I do to cope with situations like this.”

Customer: “M’kay! Have a nice day!”

Wearing A Shirt Of Lies

, , , | Right | June 27, 2017

(This is a conversation I had through the customer service chat.)

Client: “I want to return a t-shirt.”

Me: “Sure thing. We accept returns that haven’t been worn and with the receipt. What’s the problem with it?”

Client: “It’s all torn up!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Did you get the shirt like that from the store?”

Client: “No, but the moment I put it on my son, it tore up.”

Me: “Just like that?”

Client: “Well, he spent just one day with it and now it’s all torn up. It’s low quality.”

Me: “I’m sorry. That’s never happened before. I can do a refund for you. When was this purchased?”

Client: “Just last month.”

Me: “Okay, let me check the code… It says here you bought it in January.”

Client: “Oh, maybe.”

Me: “It’s June.”

Client: “Well, I’m busy and I’m not in the same city as your store. I can’t just go. Can’t you just deposit the money into my account?”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t offer that service and you need to bring in the shirt in order to give you a refund.”

Client: “What if you give me a new one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but considering the timing and the circumstances, I can’t exchange it. I need to talk to the supplier about this.”

Client: “But my son loves that shirt. He never takes it off.”

Me: “…so it wasn’t a one use thing?”

Client: “I said it was, right? So it was. I’ll send a friend to pick up a new shirt.”

Me: “Please don’t. We can’t sell you another shirt since we risk this happening again. I’ll give you a refund, but we can’t sell to you again.”

Client: “Fine. I’ll send for the money.”

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