They Seriously Have Nothing Else To Argue About?

, , , | Right | April 21, 2021

I look younger than I actually am. I’ve just gotten off work, and my makeup is smeared because it’s a hot day. A man comes up to me.

Man: “Excuse me, ma’am, my partner and I were just having a disagreement about how old you are. She says you’re thirty-five; I think you’re sixteen.”

Me: “I’m nineteen.”

Man: “Oh, okay.” *To his wife* “We were both wrong.”

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If You Wore A Mask, It Might Muffle Your Misogyny

, , , , , | Working | April 21, 2021

I am a low-level supervisor at a chain store. Last year, we added masks to our uniforms. One backroom associate has been quite vocal about his feelings on the matter. When his male coworkers or superiors tell him to wear his mask, he puts it on. But when I — a female superior — tell him to wear his mask, he argues or just ignores me.

[Associate] is sitting in the break room with two coworkers when I enter. He immediately gets up and leaves, not wearing his mask and not looking at me.

Me: “[Associate]?”

He walks faster.

Me: “Your mask, [Associate].”

Associate: “It is illegal to make me wear it.”

Me: *Eye-roll* “I’m not getting into this with you again. Mask up or go home.”

Associate: “I’m a war vet. I fought for your freedom.”

Me: “Thank you for your service. Mask up or go home.”

Associate:My mask protects you. Your mask protects me. So—”

Me: “Does that mean you don’t want to protect others?”

Associate: “I don’t care.”

Me: “This is your last chance. Get your mask on or get in your car and go home.”

He stared at me, probably trying to think of something else to say. Instead, he walked out and left. I emailed up the chain of command, detailing our conversation. He was finally terminated for insubordination.

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Professionalism Is The Key

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work in a key cutting shop. Since keys are just about the only product we sell, we have to charge more for a key than other places that do key cutting as a side service.

This also means we do it better; unlike the other places that just carry the eighty most popular blank keys, we carry about two thousand. We also have both the experience and training to get it right the first time, unlike the other places that just don’t care. To us, this justifies the higher price.

Customer: “Can you make this key? I’ve been everywhere and no one can do it.”

Me: *Looking at the key* “Oh, sure, they are $1.99 each.”

Customer: “What?! What a rip-off. All the other places only charge about $1.50.”

Me: “Then why didn’t you get it made there?”

Customer: “Because as I told you, no one else can make it.”

Me: “Fair enough, for $1.50 we can’t make it, either.”

Customer: “Just make the d*** key.”

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We Have Several Questions About What We Heard

, , , , , | Working | April 20, 2021

I mishear things a lot. Usually, it’s something dirty I think I hear, but not this time.

Me: “Hi! How’re you doing tonight?”

The customer answers but I hear something else. I’m staring at her with wide eyes, frozen for a moment.

Me: “I’m… sorry… what?”

Customer: “I said I was good and found everything just fine.”

Me: “Oh! I totally misheard you for a moment there.”

Customer: “What’d you hear?”

Me: “I thought you said, ‘You can just shut up now,’ which made me wonder if you knew my mom or boyfriend.”

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Rated R You Serious?, Part 4

, , , , | Right | April 20, 2021

I work at a store that sells used DVDs, CDs, and video games.

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady, is this movie good for a ten-year-old?”

I look at the cover; it’s the movie “Heavy Metal 2000.”

Me: “I wouldn’t recommend it. There’s female nudity, a sex scene, lots of blood and death, a scene where a reptilian’s flesh is burned away by acidic lava, scantily-clad women, a lot of loud cursing…”

Customer: “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

Related:
Rated R You Serious?, Part 3
Rated R You Serious?, Part 2
Rated R You Serious?

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