Mother Nature, You’re Needed On Aisle Two

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(My store has an outdoor gardening section, which is currently buried under a meter of snow.)

Customer: “Excuse me. When do you get the live plants in?”

Me: “Just as soon as the weather is nice enough for them to survive outside.”

Customer: “Well, when will that be?”

Me: “Um, after the snow melts.”

Customer: “Yeah, but when?”

Thank You For The Music Facts

, , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(An “ABBA” song comes on in the shop, and I quietly sing along while paying.)

Cashier: “You like ABBA?”

Me: “I do.”

Cashier: *staring at my driving licence* “When did they break up?”

Me: “’83, I think.”

Cashier: “Well, you can’t like them. You were born in ‘89.”

Me: *staring at his t-shirt* “When were you born?”

Cashier: “1998.”

Me: “And you like Nirvana?”

(He blushed and finished my purchase. You’ve got to love hypocrites.)

Retail: Where “Just In Time” Means 20 Minutes Late

, , , , | Right | January 19, 2018

(I’m a cashier. Our store closes at 8:00 pm and we give our customers reminders that our store is closing every five minutes from 7:45 to 8:00. We make sure we say our announcements loud and clear. By 8:10, I am finally checking out what I think will be my last customer of the night and my manager calls for a security count. A few minutes later a woman comes up with four items.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay today?”

Customer: “Yeah, thanks. So, I decided I don’t want these two items.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Your total comes to [amount].”

Customer: *as she’s paying* “What time do y’all close?”

Me: “Uh, we closed at eight.”

Customer: “Oh, great! I made it just in time!”

(It was around 8:15 or 8:20 by then.)

Unfiltered Story #103851

, , | Unfiltered | January 19, 2018

My coworker was helping an older couple with ice makers

Husband: Do these ice makers make ice?

Coworker: Yes these ice makers make ice.

Wife: Are you sure?

What Goes Up…

, , , , , , | Right | January 18, 2018

(A customer is trying to haggle my manager for a discount. The manager is feeling generous.)

Customer: “Can you give me a discount today?”

Manager: “Yeah, sure. What about 10%?”

Customer: “What about 20%?”

Manager: “I could do 20.”

Customer: “If you could do 20, what about 30%.”

Manager: “Just for you, I’ll do 30%, but that’s as high as I can go.”

Customer: “No, what about 40%.”

Manager: “No, I can only go as high as 30%”

Customer: *now demanding* “You can do 50% for me.”

Manager: *now feeling less generous* “20%.”

Customer: “Hold on; you just said 30%.”

Manager: “And now it’s 20%; you keep going up and I’ll be going down.”

Customer: “But I want 50%.”

Manager: “10%.”

Customer: “Just give me the 40%, then.”

Manager: “And now it’s nothing.”

Customer: “You can’t do that.”

Manager: “I just did; it’s now back to full price. I tried giving you what you wanted, but you just kept wanting more, so no deal.”

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