Double-Cheque Your Knowledge

, , , , , , | Working | March 22, 2018

(I am ringing up a woman’s purchases. She tries to pay with a cheque, but we’ve not accepted cheques for years.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t accept cheques.”

Customer: *immediately on the defensive* “I rang you up earlier to ask if you accepted cheques and was told you did.”

Me: “You didn’t speak to me, because I would have told you that we didn’t. We haven’t accepted them for years.”

Customer: “I spoke to someone; it must be one of them.”

(I ask the staff if they’ve spoken to someone today regarding accepting cheques and am told no. The woman is still ranting and raving.)

Me: “I’ll see what I can do. I’ll make a call.”

(I call our regional manager and explain the situation.)

Manager: “I can’t okay this, but try calling [Security Manager]. We used to take cheques. I know we had to get authorisation from the bank and the customer needed to supply proper ID. The customer also can’t take the purchases until the cheque is cleared.”

(Just then, I hear the customer saying something.)

Customer: *still ranting* “Now I have to tell my son his cheque is wasted.”

(I mention that to the manager.)

Manager: “No, no, no! We have never taken cheques unless they are presented by the account holder with proper ID. Don’t bother wasting [Security Manager]’s time.”

(I pass the information on to the customer, who ends up buying the items with her card before leaving, still ranting.)

Me: *to coworker* “I wish I knew who told her that we accept cheques.”

Coworker: “We do take cheques, but they have to have ID.”

Me: “We don’t accept cheques.”

Coworker: *who has worked for us for eight years* “Since when?”

Me: “For well over six years. Was it you who told the customer we did? You said no when I asked.”

Coworker: “You said today; I told someone yesterday.”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 31

, , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(I work for an company that does auditing for multiple stores around the city. Our current assignment is to make the inventory at a large store. The employees of the store all have bright blue vests, while us auditors all have dark red shirts with the auditing company’s name on them. A middle-aged man walks up to me while I’m scanning items in the toy aisle.)

Customer: “Hi. Could you show me where to find [Plumbing Product]? I can’t seem to find it.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t work here.”

Customer: “What? Of course you do! You’re working right now!”

Me: “Excuse me. I meant to say that I’m not an employee of [Store]. I’m just doing inventory. I’m not familiar with this particular location.”

Customer: “It’s only going to take a minute! Come on, now.”

(At this point he’s about to grab my arm when I move away. I then notice a couple of [Store] employees who have watched the whole thing with great amusement. One of them comes up to us.)

Employee: “Hello, sir. Can I help you with anything?”

Customer: “Yes! This other guy refuses to help me!”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but he doesn’t work for [Store]. He’s just there to do inventory.”

Customer: “What? How do you tell who works for [Store] and who doesn’t?”

(The employee gestures to her blue vest and then to my red shirt, multiple times, hoping the customer will catch on.)

Customer: “So, who’s going to help me?”

(We all had a mental facepalm, and the employee went to help the customer.)

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 30
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 29
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 28

His Humor Is Number One!

, , , , , | Working | March 21, 2018

(My seven-year-old son and I are picking up some photo prints I submitted online.)

Son: “Where’s the number thing?”

Me: “We don’t need to take a number. We are the only ones here, so we are next. We’re number one.”

Photo Department Guy: “Number two? Can I help number two?

Me: *snort laugh*

Childhood Innocence Is A Gift

, , | Right | March 21, 2018

(In the store where I work, we offer to gift-wrap the items that are purchased. Since we do this all year round, we generally have it down to a science. A customer and her little daughter buy a gift. I wrap it and do my regular swirl to gather up the ribbons in a bow.)

Little Girl: *upon seeing the bow* “Wow! Are your hands magical?”

Me: “Yep, everyone at [Store] has magic hands. They hand them out when we start working.”

Little Girl: “Oooh.”

Lazy To The Letter

, , , , | Right | March 21, 2018

(I work at a pharmacy, general store, and post office all in the same building. Most of the time, people see the sign for the post office on the outside but don’t know if it’s in our store or somewhere next to us, and once inside, they’re not sure where it is. A really preppy older lady walks into the store with some mail in her hands and comes up to me.)

Lady: “Excuse me, but where is the post office? I saw the sign outside but don’t see a door for it out there.”

Me: “Oh, the post office is inside this building, right to the back.” *I point to the back*

Lady: “Why is it there?”

Me: “Um, because that’s the way it was built.”

Lady: “Why doesn’t it have its own place?”

Me: “It’s just the way it is, really.”

Lady: “But I don’t want to walk all the way back there, though.”

Me: “Well, I guess your letters just won’t get sent, then.”

Lady: “Fine!” *stomps out*

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