Unfiltered Story #151791

, , | | Unfiltered | May 25, 2019

Customer has approached me about buying curtains.

Customer “Can I get some help with the curtains please?”

Me “Sure, what sort of curtains are you after?”

Customer “Do you have any that keep the cold out?”

Me “Yes, these block out curtains will help keep the cold out”.

Customer “I looked at those but they are too long, my window is only 1.2m tall. Where are the shorter ones”.

Me “This is the only size we have”

Customer “NO, I want them shorter”.

Me “We have fabric over here so you could get curtains made”

Customer “NO, I NEED THEM TODAY.  Where are your shorter ones?”

Me “I am sorry we don’t have ready made shorter ones, you can shorten these if you prefer”

Customer “Oh G*D, how hard it is to get through to you? I need them today, I am freezing in bed at night because I don’t have curtains”.

Me “You sleep under the window?”

Customer “Yeah”

Me “Then I recommend that you use the longer length”

Customer “No that’s just a waste, can’t see the rest of the curtain behind the bed”

Me “I’m guessing that the curtain length you want is going to stop above the bed?”

Customer “Yeah, so?’

Me “They won’t block the cold air from falling onto you”.

Customer “What? They’re thermal, they block the cold”

Me “Cold air falls, with the longer curtains it will fall at floor level but with the shorter ones you want it will fall straight onto the bed.”

Customer “OHHH, um I better get these then”.

Immigration Check-Mate

, , , , , , , | | Friendly | May 24, 2019

(It is a hot day, and I’m in a long queue at the checkout. There is a very well-dressed woman in front of me with a baby carriage. She is in no way shabby — she has an expensive haircut, designer clothes, and unique jewelry — and she seems to be in her early twenties. In the carriage is a very well-behaved baby munching on a piece of cucumber. An elderly lady in front of the young woman turns to her.)

Old Lady: “Do you want to go before me? I see you only have a few items.”

Young Woman: *smiling, with a strange accent* “Thank you kindly, but I cannot accept that. You are very nice, though.”

Old Lady: “It is no problem, I assure you. You should head home with the baby as soon as possible in this heat!”

(The young woman accepts the offer after a few more arguments, and then helps the lady load her own groceries on the belt. They are chatting meanwhile, and the young woman, while she has a strong accent, speaks English pretty well, and politely and eagerly makes small talk about the little boy with the lady. Another man from behind me butts in, shouting at the old lady.)

Man: “Don’t pamper that bloody immigrant! They are doing nothing more than taking our jobs and living out of benefits!”

(It is very obvious that the young lady is not on benefits. She jerks from the yelling, and the baby also starts crying, which makes the man yell more.)

Me: “Hey, that’s rude!”

Man: “Shut up! She is doing nothing more than leeching on us citizens!”

(The young woman picks up the baby and turns around, beet red with anger.)

Young Woman: “Let me stop you right there. Unless you are a professor of [extremely obscure scientific field] or at least a fellow teacher at [University], I am not taking your job, and I was never on benefits, not here nor at home. Besides, this baby is a citizen; he is the son of my friend, and I am just babysitting him until the semester starts. But I have to say, if you are so afraid of me taking your job, you must be crap at it.”

(The man started spluttering and tried to curse at her, but the young woman turned away as it was her turn for the cashier. The old lady started to comfort her and the baby, and they left together, the young woman helping to carry the old woman’s groceries. The man tried to harvest some sympathy, but everyone turned away. Served him well!)

If Only The Staff Could Say That, Too

, , , , | | Right | May 23, 2019

(This happens right after I finish buying groceries at a well-known, international superstore. I bag and load my own groceries while the lady behind me unloads her cart onto the conveyor. She’s talking on her cell phone at the time and not really paying attention.)

Lady: *behind me in line* “Excuse me? Why aren’t you bagging my groceries?”

(As far as I know, this building has never had baggers. I answer her in the most over-the-top, petulant way I can muster.)

Me: “Because I don’t like you!”

(I proceeded to storm off to the sound of the cashier snorting with laughter.)

It’s Spreading

, , , | | Right | May 23, 2019

(I’ve just gotten back from lunch when I notice a bedspread that I thought we had sold out of behind our counter. I have been wanting one for my daughter, but the last sold yesterday.)

Me: “Where did that come from?”

Coworker: “It was a return.”

(I pick up it up and notice something not right through the packaging.)

Me: “Did anyone check this?”

Coworker: “No, the customer only just picked it up from layby, but their daughter didn’t like it so they returned it right away.”

Me: “Did they leave the shop with it before returning?”

Coworker: “Yes, but it was less than five minutes. Why?”

Me: “Because this has been washed; we need to check it.”

(I open the package and unfold the spread to reveal a blood stain that someone has tried to bleach out.)

Me: “They swapped it for the new one.”

(I show her before I stuff it in the bin and tie up the bin liner.)

Coworker: “You’re kidding me.” *looks at stain* “Oh, my God, that’s blood. I’m going to wash my hands.” *starts to leave but I beat her to it* “Where are you going, [My Name]? I need to wash my hands.”

Me: “To scrub mine. I touched the d*** thing; you didn’t.”

Coworker: “Oh, right.”

Ewe Should Have Ignored Him

, , , | | Right | May 23, 2019

(I am working the floor, helping a customer. I am talking with a customer when I hear shouting behind me. Sadly, people yelling at children is not unusual so I ignore it and try to help the woman I’m with. After a couple of moments, the customer I am with tells me:)

Customer #1: “I think that a**hole is trying to get your attention.”

(I turn around.)

Customer #2: *standing next to the washroom door* “YOU! ABOUT F****** TIME! OPEN THE S***TER!”

Customer #1: “Help that a**hole; I can wait.”

(I walk towards the washroom.)

Customer #2: “You should be paying attention; I was calling you for twenty minutes.”

Me: “My apologies, sir, I was helping a customer, and normally, when someone needs the washroom, they either go to the front and ask for assistance or walk up to an associate. Polite people don’t yell, ‘You!’ across the store.”

Customer #2: “Why not?”

Me: *now annoyed* “Because a ‘ewe’ is a female sheep; we are human beings, not animals.”

(By now I have the washroom door opened.)

Me: “Do you still need my help or may I return to the woman I was assisting?”

(Without saying anything, he entered the washroom and slammed the door in my face.)

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