Was Your Brain Confiscated, Too?

, , , | Legal | August 5, 2020

I answer the phone at the investigation department at the police station.

Caller: “Hi. I’m with [Law Firm], and the son of one of our clients had his car confiscated.”

Me: “Okay, can you give me the vehicle’s plate number?”

Caller: “I don’t have that.”

Me: “What is the son’s ID number?”

Caller: “I don’t have that, either.”

Me: “What’s his name?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you have your client’s ID number?”

Caller: *Pause* “Let me call you back.”

He never did.

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Unfiltered Story #203777

, | Unfiltered | August 4, 2020

I work in the IT department at the Municipality where I live. I got this call one morning.

Me: This is Tech Support, good morning.

User: I’m so tired of calling you every three months to change my password. I keep asking you people to let me keep my password, and you never let me!

Me: You’re not the only one who has to change their password. Everyone has to do it every three months. It’s a security measure.

User: Well, I don’t understand why I have to do it. I assure you there are no security issues on my computer.

Me: I’m sure of that, but everyone still has to do it.

User: (shouting) I don’t CARE that everyone has to change their password. I DON’T want to! And you’re going to make it so that I don’t have to!

(By now, I’ve had enough of this. It’s first thing in the morning, and my patience is starting to run out.)
Me: With all due respect, Ma’am, why should you be the only one who doesn’t have to change her password? I have several certifications in Information Technology and Cyber Security, as well as access to the system that controlls password changes, among other things, and I still change my password every three months. Just like everyone else here.

User: Fine! I’ll change my password, but I want the ability to do it myself! Everyone in [department] has to call you every three months to have their passwords changed, and I’m sick of wasting my time on you!

(While I’m not quite new to the job anymore, I still don’t know exactly what security policy each department has, and who can and can’t change their own password.)
Me: If no one in the entire department can change their own passwords, there’s probably a good reason for it. Let’s get to it. What would you like your new password to be?

User: 1223

Me: I apologize, but your password has to have at least six characters, and it has to have letters in it too.

(User gives me a password that matches the policy, I change it, and she logs in.)
User: I still think it’s unfair that we in [department] can’t change our own passwords! You have to change that!

Me: That’s the policy for your department, I’m afraid.

User: Rules are meant to be broken, you know.

Me: This was a decision made above my pay grade. There’s nothing I can do. You can email [manager] about it.

(User hangs up without another word)

Me (after User has hung up): She spends half the call complaining, and then she’s surprised it takes so long. The whole conversation could have lasted under a minute.

Unfiltered Story #199845

, | Unfiltered | July 2, 2020

(I’m a single mom recently divorced. I try to take our daughter back to my ex husbands home country as much as I can. I have a good relationship with his family and want her to see him. I go so often I’ve been instructed to use the domestic line for entering which is much shorter than the foreign.
This time after getting off the plane I took my sweet time using the bathroom and brushing our teeth knowing we would be attacked by family soon.)

Me after walking up to the domestic costumes booth: hi! I was told I can come here now. (I hand over our passports.)

Random guy in the foreign line: That’s not fair! I know you aren’t from here! You have an English accent!

(I’m too tired so I ignored him and continue to answer the usual questions. The guy then got out of line and walked up right behind me.)

Security: stay behind the line and you need to be in that line! (Pointing to the other lines.)

Guy: she’s American! What makes her so special that she can cut?! Cause she has a kid?! Boo hoo!

Security: they are considered citizens! Go to the other line!

Guy: no! It’s not fair!

Me having enough: are you here on some tour?!

Guy: yes!

Me: well I’m not! I just spent 24 hours dragging this 4yr old halfway around the world to see her dad and his part of the family! unless you also want to marry someone in another country, push out their kid, AND continue to try and preserve their relationship I suggest you get back in line and stop worrying about how we get to go a tiny bit faster!

(The guy looked shocked and went back to his wife in the other line.)

Security: you’re not from here?

Me: I’m good at fitting in.

Security: ha! Enjoy your stay!

(The kicker is that the bags weren’t even unloaded yet. I watched the guy pace for a good 10 minutes. Yeah, we are all tired…chill out.)

Iced Coffee: Katy Perry Style, Part 2

, , | Right | June 22, 2020

Customer: “One vanilla iced coffee, please.”

Me: “Iced vanilla or iced coffee? These are two different things.”

Customer: “Iced vanilla. And can you make it hot?”

Me: “So… hot vanilla drink?”

Customer: “Yeah, that.”

Related:
Iced Coffee: Katy Perry Style

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He’s Not Feeling That Friday Feeling

, , , | Right | June 10, 2020

This hotel only serves breakfast. In Israel, a lot of things close Friday afternoon due to the Shabbat. I’m the receptionist. The guest has been staying in the hotel for a few days now.

Guest: “I’d like to have dinner tonight here at the hotel.”

Me: “I’m sorry, the kitchen is closed and we don’t have dinner. I can recommend restaurants that are open or a shop where you can get food that is within walking distance.”

At that moment, a coworker comes and brings me a little takeaway box with my dinner: cold leftover food from breakfast that is for the employees.

Guest: “What is that? I also want food.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that is some cold food and my only dinner; I’m here until 11:00 pm and I don’t really have a break to go get myself anything else.”

Guest: “So share it with me.”

Me: “No, that is all I have to eat.”

Guest: “Are there any more of those boxes? “

Me: “There are enough boxes exactly for the employees.No spares.”

Guest: “Call the other employees and see if they will give me their dinner.”

Me: “I will not be doing that. People at work need to eat and are counting on this food.”

The guest turns to other people waiting for a taxi.

Guest: “You see this? The employees get to eat but the guests don’t!”

As the guest is leaving, one of the people waiting for the taxi turns to me.

Other Guest: “Now you can definitely say you’ve seen it all!”

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