Eat Your Own Words

, , , , | Related | August 17, 2017

(My mom, my grandmother, and I are having dinner. I’m in my teens and still eating a lot. I grab another pork chop from the center of the table.)

Mom: “Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to eat it.”

(Later on, Mom examines the juice she’s drinking.)

Mom: “This juice isn’t what I was expecting. I don’t really like it.”

Grandma: “So why do you keep drinking it?”

Mom: “I don’t know. It’s sitting there and I just forget and take another sip.”

Me: “Just because it’s there doesn’t mean you have to drink it.”

Mom: *glares at me*

Unfiltered Story #91498

, , | Unfiltered | August 15, 2017

(I work as the only tech support specialist for an agency of about 250 employees. We’re trying to roll out a new time clock system (called EWS going forward), and are currently in the process of setting up everyone’s accounts in prep for a test run for the system next week. I wrote a thorough document, complete with screenshots, on how to set up one’s account on EWS, which is basically a website. I also created two videos (one for each type of time clock we’re using under this new system) that go into as much detail as the document. I’ve basically addressed as best I know how two of the three learning styles common in adults (visual and auditory), and my hope was that by following one or the other, they could do the kinesthetic approach if that’s how they learn. So, having set that up…)

“I can’t get EWS set up. I keep getting [common error that I recognize].”

Me: “Okay. Let’s start from the beginning. Click on Account Setup. On the next screen, enter [our agency ID], then your employee ID, date of birth, and last four of your SSN. You got all that?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Okay. Now this is where a lot of people get tripped up. On this screen, you will enter the username you want. But don’t include the @[agency ID].”

Caller: “Okay, I have that.”


(We run through the instructions and it still isn’t working. I feel compelled to ask:)
Me: “Okay. When you typed your user ID into the field on the account creation screen, did you include @[agency ID]?”

Caller: “Yes, because that’s what [Other Employee] told me to do.”

Me: “No. I know it’s weird, but when you do account setup, you just put in your username. Let’s try account setup again.”

(Gets to the username part.)

Me: “Now, tell me exactly what you’re typing in this field, please.”

Caller: “[username]@[agency ID]”

Me: “Please take off the @[agency ID] part before proceeding.”

Caller: “But [Other Employee] did hers this way. And my local area manager told me to do it this way too!”

Me: *takes a deep, quiet breath* “I understand that that’s how they told you to do it. Please just trust me. Take out @[agency ID], before you click Create Account.”

Caller: “Okay.” *tries to log in* “It worked! I’m in, thanks [Me]!”

Me: *barely keeps from saying ‘I told you so’* *wraps up call normally*

(With this website, when a user sets up an account, they create a user ID, but when logging in they use userID@[agency ID], because the agency ID points to a database on a cloud server, kinda like how the points an email client to look at Gmail for your username (to put it in simple terms for those who don’t know computers well.)

IP Address:

Footloose With The Treatment

, , , , | Right | August 9, 2017

My aunt & uncle, both doctors, moved to rural Kentucky when they sold their practice and retired.

Since medical care is spotty in their area my aunt volunteers to make home visits to check on patients as support for local physicians.

One female patient in particular had been told to rest after surgery; when my aunt arrives the patient is bustling around the house, contrary to doctor’s orders.

When it was mentioned that she was supposed to be off her feet; apparently she had misunderstood the doctors orders of not putting your feet on the ground, as she replied “But I haven’t been outside all day!”

One Of The Hallmarks Of Not Paying Attention

, , , | Right | August 7, 2017

(A customer comes into the fabric store where I am working the cash register. She is in an obviously upset state.)

Customer: “Do you carry sign-in registers for guests at funerals?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry those.”

Customer: “Oh, my gosh; I don’t know what I will do. I have tried everywhere and can’t find one.”

Me: “Well, have you tried the Hallmark store next door? They have all kinds of paper goods.”

Customer: “I thought I was at Hallmark’s.”

Me: *looking around at our 5000 bolts of fabrics and shelves of scissors and other sewing related items* “No, ma’am, this is [Store].”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say so? That’s just rude.”

Good Advice Is Poison To His Ears

, , , , | Friendly | July 13, 2017

(Every few months or so, our troop has to clean out and organize the trailer containing our camp supplies. Some poison ivy has started growing at the back of the trailer, but it’s out of the way.)

Friend: “I’m gonna try and clear out that poison ivy.”

Scoutmaster: “You don’t need to do that. It’s out of the way, and it’s best to have a professional deal with it.”

Me: “Yeah, and you don’t want to end up catching poison ivy… again!”

Friend: “I have gloves and clippers. I’m not gonna touch it.”

Scoutmaster: “That doesn’t matter. You can still catch it if it gets on your clothes.”

Friend: “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

(Whenever he gets his mind set on things like this, it’s almost impossible to try and talk him out of it.)

Me: *sigh* “Your funeral.”

(He managed to clear out the poison ivy, while I tried to stay away from him. After we’re back home, I noticed I’m starting to breakout. I called him up to yell at him only for his mother to inform me that he was far worse. He ended up missing school for a couple of days because it got all over his face, causing his eyes to swell shut.)

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