Not A Very Pretty Thing To Say

, , , , | Related | September 26, 2019

Grandma: *to the groom* “Doesn’t she look stunning in her dress?”

Groom: “Yes, I’m a very lucky man!”

Grandma: “Get a good look; she won’t be this pretty ever again!”

Bride & Groom: “…” 

Me: *ushers grandma out of their earshot before she can say anything else*

 

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Unfiltered Story #167691

, , | Unfiltered | September 25, 2019

(We are a bookstore that offers magazines, hardbacks, paperbacks, newspapers etc. We sell Girls Gone Wild magazines, which is relevant in this story.)
Me: *picks up a call* “Hello, this is [Name], how may I help you?”
Angry Woman: “There was a bill sent to me from your company! I never bought these magazines! Why the f*** are you charging me?!”
Me: “Ma’am, may I have your address, please? I can check the bills that we’ve sent you.”
Angry Woman: “Fine! It’s [Address].”
Me: “Well, I see there have been monthly purchases of the magazine Girls Gone Wild for a few months now. Does that help?”
Angry Woman: “What the f***? I didn’t buy those!”
Me: “May I ask, do you have a husband or a son?”
Angry Woman: “I have two sons- oh. Um, I’ll be right back, kay?”
*incoherent screaming in background, something about ‘your father will here about this, boys!’*
Angry Woman: “Well! Sorry to have wasted your time, and I promise you, the boys will be paying for this! AND no pocket money for a year!”

Unfiltered Story #162088

, , | Unfiltered | September 10, 2019

(I am 16, almost 17, years old and have autism. I had the day off of school for an appointment so naturally we went out to eat for lunch. My parents decided I ought to try something different so I agreed to try some Japanese food, helped by the fact that I’m an otaku. However this story isn’t about me. We took my grandpa with us due to also loving Japanese food. He was also born and raised in Peru and learned Japanese from the neighbors. Naturally, he wanted to speak Japanese to employees…Unfortunaley none of the Asian employees that served us were Japanese resulting in this happening at least two or three times:)

Grandpa: *Says something in Japanese*

Employee: Oh sorry, I’m not Japanese. I’m actually *insert actual nationality*

(And the hibachi chef even mentioned how there’s a Japanese sushi chef. On the bright side, you hopefully have a story about mistaking a group of Asians for another that isn’t because of racism, he just wanted to speak Japanese. That and I dodged a bullet by not using my phrase book to order.)

Risk Of Fire Very Low, Risk Of Prejudice Is Off The Charts

, , , , , | Right | September 5, 2019

(I am sweeping up a minor spill in the lobby when a small group of irritated people comes up to me.)

Irritated Woman: “There are two men praying in the hall.”

Me: “Oh?”

Irritated Woman: “There are two—” *whispers* “—Muslims—” *normal voice* “—praying in the hall over there.”

(This is a reasonably diverse area and this happens somewhat regularly.)

Me: “Are they blocking the fire exit?”

Irritated Woman: “No.”

Me: “Then it’s fine.”

Irritated Woman: *more irritated* “This is America! They can’t pray like that here!”

(I decide to ignore the ludicrous hypocrisy of that statement.)

Me: “They’re not breaking any laws or theater rules. As long as they’re not blocking the fire exit, there’s nothing we can or will do about it.”

Irritated Woman: “What if we started praying in the hall?”

Me: “As long as you don’t block the fire exit, it’s fine.”

(The irritated group left. About half an hour later, they were holding an impromptu prayer circle in the hall when my manager asked them to move over about five feet. They were blocking the fire exit.)

 

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Becoming The Butt Of Their Own Joke

, , , , , | Right | August 26, 2019

(I work in a cell phone store.)

Customer: “Can you delete my butt pictures?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My butt pictures!”

Me: “Your what, sir?”

Customer: “My butt photos! You know, photos my phone took with my butt, kind of like when you butt-dial someone!”

Me: “Oh! Okay, I see.”

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