You’re Only Meant To Have Five A Day

, , , , , , | Legal | March 18, 2019

(My wife and I are in adult Sunday School when the teacher is covering Galatians 5:22-23.)

Teacher: *reading* “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

Me: *whispering to wife* “Wow, hard to be good in so many ways.”

Wife: *whispering to me* “Just pick one.”

Snowly Does It

, , , , , | Right | March 7, 2019

(I work as a cashier for a snow cone stand that gets very popular during summer. In this stand, one person makes the snow cones, another decorates them — you tell this person what flavor snow cone you would like — and a cashier gives you the total for the snow cones you are ordering. I’m the cashier. My coworkers and I have been working on a LONG line for over an hour. One of the customers has six children with her.)

Me: “Hi. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! Can I get a strawberry snow cone?”

Me: “Sure, that’ll be—“

Customer: *to child* “What would you like?”

(She asked every child what snow cone they would like while repeating every order to me. I repeatedly asked her how many snow cones in total. It took over five minutes to get her to tell me the total of snow cones. After I got her to answer me, she then asked if I could even count — remember, I’m a cashier without a register or calculator. After this, I made sure the one making the snow cones was overflowing them, because they get heavy and spill easily if they overflow. The customer came back later asking for a small snow cone and a lot of napkins. Never mess with a cashier who’s back is hurting like a b**** and has worked with a never-ending line.)

Unfiltered Story #142141

, , | Unfiltered | February 28, 2019

I work in a fabric store, which as you an imagine, sells threads.We sell several different brands and each brand sells thread in different sizes from a hundred or so yards to several thousands and different fiber content from plain old cotton to high tech synthetics to metallics and silks.
We have a regular customer who is a real drama queen.  She comes  in accompanied by her husband who  always seems to be apologising for her.
One day she came in when we were having a 50% off thread sale.
She came to the register with nearly 20 spools of thread from the tiny cotton spools to the mega spools of multi colored embrodiery thread. I rang them up and the total came to nearly $50.  She went ballistic.
Customer: Why is my thread so much.  I only got 20 spools and it’s only $1.29 for each spool.”
Me: The little spool is $1.29.  The other spools  are more  and are different prices.  
Customer:  No they aren’t.  The signs say they are all $1.29.
Me:  Maybe I’m wrong.  Show me the sign.  I can always change it.
We go to the thread display and of course the sign is up showing the different prices.  I show it to customer.  She denies it.
Customer”  No it says it’s $1.29.
Me:  Yes the sign says the small spools are $1.29 but it also shows the
prices of the other spools.
Customer:  Why would they be different?  It’s silly.
Me:  Well there are different companies and different amount on the spools and different materials.
Customer”  Well that’s just stupid.  I want them for $1.29, that;s the price the sign says.
Me:  Well you can have the small spools for $1.29 but the other threads will ring up what the sign says.
Customer”  Well that’s stupid.  I can get them online for less that that.  I don’t want them then. You just lost a customer forever .
Me, thinking to myself:  I should be so lucky.  
But I say :  Allright you don’t have to take them, I can cancel the sale.
Customer storms out, leaving husband to apologize.
Next customer”  Did she really think all threads were the same price?  Is she off her meds?
This came to mind today as our store is having another 50% off thread sale today and guess who showed up?
She bought nearly the same thread she screamed about last time being so expensive.  Guess they weren’t cheaper online after all.

Desensitized To Violence

, , , , , , | Learning | February 25, 2019

(I’m taking a class on the history of animation. One of our assignments is to go to the library where there is a video reserved for the class to watch in our off time, featuring various old theatrical cartoons that were banned from television for various reasons, mostly due to being politically incorrect. After this, we have to write a paper on it. On the day that the assignment is due, we end up having an in-class discussion on the cartoons that we saw. One cartoon, in particular, looks like it came out either in the late 1920s or early 30s, and everyone keeps talking about the beginning that had a rather blatant Jewish stereotype.)

Me: “Wait a minute. So, we’re discussing a cartoon that ended with piles of dead bodies, many of which were dismembered, and there was even an on-screen decapitation, but the part everyone here is hung up on is the Jewish stereotype that was on screen for about three seconds?”

Getting McFlurious

, , , , | Right | February 24, 2019

(I work at the drive-thru. It’s already stressful, busy, and the managers are breathing down our necks.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Fast Food Place]. May I take your order?”

Customer: “Let me get a six-piece.”

Me: “Would you like any sauce?”

Customer: “NO! I said a six-piece.”

Me: “Okay… Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “Let me get an ice cream cone.”

Me: “Okay. Will that be all?”

Customer: “No, let me get a McFlurry.”

Me: “All right, which flavor?”

Customer: “M&M… Why do you have me rung up for an ice cream cone?! I don’t want that!

Me: “Sorry, sir, can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Can I get you anything else?”

Customer: “One moment, ma’am!”

Me: “Okay…”

Manager: “Why are your order times so d*** high?!”

Page 1/1812345...Last