Turning Into A Big No-No

, , , , | Friendly | May 4, 2018

(My friend and I are walking out from science class.)

Friend: “Hey, [My Name], if you answer the next question with no, you will win a million dollars.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the question?”

Friend: “Are you ready?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: “Okay, I’ll give you some more time.”

(They wait for a minute.)

Friend: “You ready now?”

Me: “No.”

Friend: *starts laughing* “See, you’ll never win, right?”

Me: “No.” *smiles some*

Friend: “Wait…”

The Glue That Keeps The School Together

, , , , | Learning | May 1, 2018

My grandad told me that during the war, they were using the hall in his school as a temporary warehouse for thousands of sacks of flour. The Luftwaffe firebombed it one night and the fire brigade quickly sprayed it with water, not knowing what was inside.

Of course, when you mix flour and water, you get glue, which flowed all over the corridors and the playground before setting. They still hadn’t cleared it up years later.

They Were All (Patrick) Stars That Day

, , , , | Hopeless | April 29, 2018

(One day when I’m in first grade, there’s a tornado warning for my school’s area. We go through the routine for tornadoes, something we’ve only ever done as a drill before. Basically, all the students line up in an interior hallway, kneel on the ground against the wall, and cover their necks with their hands. When the teachers get news that the tornado is heading straight for us, they decide stronger measures are needed. They start herding as many students as possible into windowless rooms. My teacher leads my class, still lined up alphabetically, to a storage closet, where we do the same kneeling-against-the-wall thing. It soon becomes clear that one person isn’t going to fit, and since my last name is at the end of the alphabet for my class, that person is going to be me. My teacher closes the closet and takes me to another one, where a second teacher has ushered a group of seventh grade boys. We all pack into the tiny room, and the teachers don’t stay with us. It’s pitch-black when they close the door, I’m with a group of much older boys who I don’t know, and there’s a tornado coming. I start to cry.)

Boy #1: *trying to comfort me* “Hey, it’s all right. We’re safe in here.”

Me: *still crying*

Boy #2: “Are you ready, kids?”

Half The Boys In The Room: “Aye, aye, captain!”

Boy #2: “I can’t hear you!”

Every Boy In The Room: “AYE, AYE, CAPTAIN!”

Boy #2:*singing* “Oooooooh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”

(Despite being at the age where little kid songs were seen as uncool, this group of seventh grade boys sang the entire “Spongebob Squarepants” theme song and every Disney song they could think of to keep me from being scared. I stopped crying soon after they started, and joined in with the singing. Luckily, the tornado didn’t hit us, and we were let out about an hour or so later.)

It’s Not The Solution Except When It Is

, , , , , , | Learning | April 26, 2018

There’s a stereotype that the more academically intelligent or successful you are, the less likely that you have “common sense” intelligence. This was never truer than in my chemistry exam eight years ago. Despite being part of the “nerdy” group in my class, I wasn’t feeling confident with chemistry at all. In my anxiety, the weekend before the exam I managed to complete every single past exam that I could get my hands on, dating all the way back to the mid-90s. My head was whirling with about 15 years’ worth of formulas and equations, and I finally felt ready for the exam. All that practice did pay off, as I found most of the exam fairly straightforward, right up until the last question.

It was a long question divided into multiple parts, and it started off okay, asking me standard questions like writing out the correct formula, identifying the product of the reaction, naming the molecule in question, describing its structure, and so on. Everything was fine… until the very last question completely threw me off.

The question was, “Why wouldn’t you place this molecule atop a Bunsen burner?”

I stared at the question for several minutes, completely stumped. There hadn’t been any questions on the dozens of practice exams I’d completed that were in any way reminiscent of this one. It was only worth one point, but I couldn’t think of what to write. I ended up writing something ridiculous, like, “Because Bunsen burners are hot,” or something equally stupid.

After the exam, my nerdy group of friends gathered together outside the classroom and we all pondered over that last question. None of us had figured it out; we had all been equally baffled. Then, finally, one of my friends slapped her forehead in frustration.

“Oh, my God, you guys! It was alcohol!

Unfiltered Story #109355

, , | Unfiltered | April 24, 2018

(So this is for me and my friends standing outside of a procession to show respect while there is a police officer helping the procession get through our area there is a man I can somewhat hear on the other side of the road complaining)

Man: Hey what’s the deal here?! *starting to walk into the road*

Officer: *showing for the man to take a step back with arms*

Man: Hey!

Officer: *he stops the traffic and walks over to the other side to speak to the man*

Man: We’ve got lives to live here!

Officer: Sorry, I understand sir there is a procession going on right now for a passed officer.

Man: Do you think I care?!

(Eventually I couldn’t hear the rest but what I knew was everything was back in order soon but the man got very frustrated and threw a fit.)

Page 1/12112345...Last
Next »