At This Rate They’ll Be Paying Double

, , , , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work in a hotel in the centre of the city. Sometimes we offer great discounts through the website on quiet days. But you have to prepay, and to change the dates, you have to pay the night’s rate. We have quite a few scammers, this one being the worst:)

Me: “Hello, [Hotel]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I booked a room for a week at your hotel, but I got the wrong dates. I wanted August, but I booked for July.”

Me: “All right. If you can give me the reference, I can look you up.” *he tells me* “So, to confirm, you want [date] to [date]?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “All right. We can change the booking, but you will have to pay the night’s rate.”

Caller: “Hum, not sure about that. How much would it be?”

Me: “£700.”

Caller: “What? How could you charge that much? The website said it’s £350 for the week, and now you want £700 more? You can’t steal money from people like that! I’m going to call your headquarters and tell them what thieves you are!”

Me: *thinking headquarters actually decide the prices* “I’m sorry you feel like this, sir. The quote you were given is an online price, and the discount is available on some dates only. August is very busy, so the rooms are charged full price. We would be willing to offer two complementary breakfast as goodwill, but that’s the best I can’t do.”

Caller: “I don’t care about your breakfast! I want the room at the price on the website, and you should give at least one night for free for the distress you’ve caused!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. That’s not–“

Caller: “Whatever! You’re useless! I’ll take my business somewhere else! Just refund me!”

Me: “I can’t do that, sir. You chose a non-refundable rate, therefore–“

Caller: “What?! You never said that! That’s false advertising! I’m going to sue you!”

Me: “Actually, the conditions are very clear on the website. You receive a red warning, first when you book, and then when you check out. It clearly says that the booking is non-refundable.”

Caller: “I don’t read signs, and I didn’t even book through your stupid website, anyway.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the discount you received can only be obtained online.”

Caller: “Are you calling me a liar? I want to speak to your manager now!”

Me: “Unfortunately, she went home for the night.” *that was at about 11:00 pm* “But if you leave your phone number, I’ll make sure she’ll call you in the morning.”

Caller: “It’s [number]. She had better call me, or I’ll sue you!” *hangs up*

Me: “Okay.”

(The next morning I explained what happened to my manager. She called the customer and told him the same thing. He then proceeded to call our headquarters, and again was told the same thing. As a last resort, he posted a bad review on Trip Advisor, where my manager politely told him to read the conditions before agreeing to anything.)

Both Sides On Poor Form

, , , , | Working | December 11, 2017

(I work in a department that offers grants and loans. Recently, management has made a decision that applications will only be processed if applications have been completed 100%. Previously we’d let applications through if they hadn’t indicated how they heard about the scheme or indicated if their car was first- or second-hand. While this makes sense, I am currently trapped in limbo with a customer with the following set of emails. Please note that the customer had emailed their application.)

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot process your application at this time as you have not indicated your preferred email address for correspondence. Please fully complete the application and return this to us to allow us to proceed.”

Customer: “It’s the email address I’m using just now.”

Me: “Unfortunately, we can only accept this information if it is on the application form. We are not able to accept this information in any other way.”

Customer: *attaches incomplete application again* “It’s the email address I’m using just now.”

(Management still wont let me accept it and we’re stuck in a loop. Whose fault is it really?)

Bagpipes Are A Scottish Instrument But Welcome To All

, , , , , , , | Friendly | December 5, 2017

(I am out and about in town when I hear someone talking loudly. I turn down the high street and there is a man stood on the steps of a monument, addressing the people. I stop to listen and slowly realise the man is making racist remarks about Muslims, saying that they should leave and other rubbish. I am dumbfounded, and can see from looking around that others are either pointedly ignoring him or throwing him nasty looks. I opt to just ignore him and move on. That’s when I hear a familiar but faintly annoying noise. I stop to look and sure enough, a young lad, probably around 15, comes into view playing the bagpipes. Other people stop and stare as this teenager walks down the street towards that man. The boy gets up next to him and continues, completely drowning out the man. The man gets annoyed and moves. The lad follows, playing away.)

Man: *yelling* “It’s my right to speak my mind!”

Boy: *stops playing and retorts* “And it’s my right to play the bagpipes in a public space!”

It’s A Dog’s (Very Short) Life

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2017

(A customer calls us up asking for her dog to be euthanised. From the call, her dog seems to be extremely old, and suffering considerably. As she isn’t registered with us, we offer to take a look. I am called into the reception after she arrives.)

Receptionist: “[My Name], this is the, umm, ‘old’ dog.”

(I see the customer holding what a dog that I would say is about five or six. It seems perfectly happy and content.)

Me: “Sorry, Mrs. [Customer #1], I thought your dog was elderly and in poor condition.”

Customer #1: “It is! Just look at him. He’s barely holding on. He’s much too old. Just take him, please.”

Me: “How old is he?”

Customer #1: “Five!”

(I look at the receptionist and she is a bewildered as I am.)

Me: “Dogs typically live ten to fifteen years, and this breed can outlive that, easily, with proper care. Judging from his demeanour, he seems fine.”

Customer #1: “Oh, you don’t know what you’re talking about! Fifteen years is far too long. Just take him, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to refuse.”

Customer #1: *huffs* “Why won’t anyone kill my dog?!”

Customer #2: “Because he’s f****** healthy! If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”

Customer #1: *excited* “Really? You’ll take my old, suffering, close-to-death dog?”

(After [Customer #2] got his own dog back, they both left. Two weeks later, [Customer #1]’s dog was registered with us, and was perfectly healthy. He was recently in for his vaccinations, and [Customer #2] said [Customer #1]’s children were devastated that she was getting rid of him, but since then they regularly go to his house to play with and take care of him, in the company of an owner who isn’t out to kill him.)

You Can’t Recycle Old Ideas

, , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(Windows 95 has just come out. I am working in IT for an engineering firm. We are upgrading all computers to Windows 95 and I am walking around, checking that everyone is logged on and working okay, when I get called over by one of the engineers.)

Engineer: “Can I ask you a quick question?”

Me: “Of course!”

Engineer: “See that Recycle Bin?” *pointing to the screen*

Me: “Yeah?”

Engineer: “Does someone come round and empty it?”

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