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Intimidation Isn’t Their Only Skill

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 14, 2022

Every year, outside of the convention, without fail, there will always be some fundamentalist protester holding a sign and preaching to anyone who walks past about fire and brimstone, and how the actions of the convention-goers will doom them to Hell.

This year was no exception. I was stuck at the crosswalk waiting for the light to change, forcing me to listen to the protester when a group of bikers pulled up to the light. As the protester started his sermon, the bikers began revving up their engines, drowning him out. Once they stopped, he began to speak again only for them to resume revving up their engines.

It was at this point that I realized they were doing this on purpose. This went on a couple more times until the light changed, and I and a few others crossed the street with a smile and a newfound appreciation for bikers.

We Wish We Knew What Church This Was So We Could Avoid It

, , , , , , | Friendly Right | June 14, 2022

When I worked in a print shop, I was the only person in the office. I often had people treat me like a therapist, and of course, I was trapped.

This woman came in to have a bunch of scraps of paper copied — torn notebook pages, scratch paper, ripped sticky notes, things like that. As I was copying everything and meticulously spreading them out to her liking, she started telling me why she needed these copies.

I wish I could remember it all, but she told me a convoluted story about how the young new pastor at her church was sweet on a married woman, caused a divorce, and then was flaunting his new bride.

Apparently, this customer was the organist and she knew something secret about the affair, and someone was trying to keep her quiet by stealing her organ music in hopes that she would leave. She had apparently confronted several people, but no one would listen to her, and she was laughed out of the church.

She later went to the pastor’s home and punched him in the face. The reason she needed all these notes was to use as “evidence” in her trial that she was actually the victim.

Folks. She talked to me for four hours. Four. And no, I never got her name.

You Can’t Mask Stupidity

, , , , , , , | Right | June 13, 2022

I was working the front register.

A woman came inside with no mask on (no longer required at my job), stood back from the register to put it on, stepped forward to place her order, and pulled her mask below her chin the entire time she spoke.

I will never understand her thought process.

A Perfect Picture Of Failing Completely

, , , , , | Right | June 13, 2022

I work for a photography company that specializes in graduation photos, and it is graduation season in these parts, so I’m working hard. We deal with a lot of major universities with hundreds, sometimes thousands of graduates, and it’s up to my department to put the grads’ information into a computer and then send them order forms. The grads, however, can be incredibly stupid.

The university in question is very prestigious and known for its football team. It has a lot of international students, most of whom graduate with honors. Now, our grad cards are not that complex. They have spots for your name, permanent address, parents’ address if it differs, and a checklist describing hair color, ethnicity, etc.

Many people get confused by the address form for some unknown reason. I’ve come to the conclusion that either many graduates cannot see or understand the letter R, so their countries end up being various counties in Michigan, or said counties in Michigan have risen up in rebellion and established themselves as sovereign nations.

But the most hilarious thing came from one of the foreign students. There were three things on this card that didn’t quite add up:

1) Michigan has now been taken over by Jerusalem.

2) Jerusalem is now its own country, having completely separated from Israel.

3) “My parents live on the main street of Jerusalem” is now a valid address.

I would have chalked this up to the language barrier, but entering the rest of her data made me head-desk so hard that I almost knocked myself unconscious. This woman was a Ph.D. student and had lived in the United States for almost ten years. She had a degree in English, having graduated with a minor in ESL.

I have no idea how she messed up that badly.

Soda-rn Entitled!

, , , , | Right | June 13, 2022

I am closing the theater at night when my floor staff and I walk upstairs from the manager’s office. We see a stranger in the concessions stand. As we approach him, I let him know he is not allowed in staff areas and that he has to be wearing a mask.

As I ask him to leave a restricted area, he gets irate that we are not open and able to give him his refill. Mind you, we locked our doors almost two hours ago, so the last films are already quite a ways in, and we have already cleaned our soda towers (taken the nozzles off and cleaned them).

I am not sure how he got into our concessions stand, but he seemingly had no trouble putting the soda nozzle back on. He goes out through our employee door saying we should be working so he can get his refill. Then, he goes into the men’s restroom before going back to his film.

My general manager is not there to ask him to leave the building but lets me know later that I can refuse refill service to the man if I see him again. I absolutely will let him know service is not being offered to him, as well.

Bottom line, the customer is not always right nor do they have any authority to go into employee spaces. And when we are closed, we do not have any responsibility to assist them.