The Cat Is Gone In A Creampuff

, , , , , , , | Hopeless | January 13, 2019

(I am a volunteer at a no-kill pet shelter. A few weeks ago, a couple came in with the angriest cat we had ever seen. Along with a severe case of mange, he was also missing his right eye. The couple explained that their neighbors had moved and left the cat locked inside a junker car parked behind their house. Even with every volunteer working to rehabilitate him, “One-Eyed Willy” proves to be a difficult case; he bites and scratches, yowls constantly, and does not get along with other male cats. We resign to having him as a permanent resident. One week, I arrive to find that One-Eyed Willy is missing from the cat room. A fellow volunteer explains that he’s been adopted over the weekend. The general consensus is that he has been taken in as a charity case and will be returned when the new owner finds him too difficult to handle. Terrified that whoever this person is will ruin a month of hard work, I can do nothing but wait until they return for his neutering appointment in two weeks. I am working the front desk when a young woman approaches me. She does not have a kennel, but has a cat tucked into her jacket.)

Woman: “Hi! I’m here to drop off Creampuff for his appointment?”

(As any adopted cats are referred to by their new names, it takes me a second to realize that she’s holding One-Eyed Willy! He is purring up a storm, curled up in her arms like a baby. While we go over the paperwork, I notice that he is wearing a hand-knit vest to cover his mange spots. With my heart already melting, I get talking to her.)

Me: “So, has he been behaving himself?”

Woman: “Oh, he’s the best cat in the world! I have a teensy bit of trouble sometimes when I need to go to the store, though.”

(She unzips her jacket and sets One-Eyed Willy on the counter. Immediately, he begins to whine like a baby. She picks him up and he stops.)

Woman: *while giggling and smothering him in kisses* “It’s a good thing I work from home, or I’d be evicted!”

(It isn’t easy working at a shelter, but times like this make it all worth it!)

A Functional Warning

, , , , , , | Working | January 13, 2019

The main point-of-sale server is down with corrupted files, and a dozen and a half stores are offline. We’re on the phone with tech support for a while, and they determine that the most likely fix is a restore from backup tapes, a four-hour process. But there’s a special function that might rebuild the corrupted files. Maybe. If it doesn’t, well, we’ll have to do a restore from backup. But that’s the only other alternative, so we’ll give it a go.

We’re used to this system having some very dangerous functions that let you really screw yourself over, and undocumented flags that have to be set before they’ll actually run. And that is the case for this function, too. We have to go into a special administrative panel to get to it at all, and know what to type in. There are options to be set for it to do its thing, and an undocumented flag to get it to actually run. And then, at the end, we hit Run, and one last warning comes up:

“We recommend that you do not run this function, even if we told you to.”

It does fix the problem in a matter of a few minutes.

Resembling Your Way Of Thinking

, , , , | Right | January 12, 2019

I’m a medical resident. One of my consultants in the hospital, [Consultant #1], resembles me a lot in looks to the point that people keep asking me whether I’m related to her, which I am not. It comes to the point where I joke to my friends that whenever I don’t feel like making presentations and whatnot I could ask [Consultant #1] to replace me and no one would know the difference. It’s also worth noting that we residents have morning lectures every day, and during such lectures, consultants take turns acting as the coordinators every week, and if they’re not available, another consultant will replace them.

One day, the coordinator of the week, [Consultant #2], wasn’t there by the time the morning lectures usually start, and she didn’t answer any calls. My friend then went to find a replacement and met [Consultant #1], who was about to enter the conference room. They asked her whether she could become the coordinator that day.

According to my friend, upon hearing that she would have to act as the coordinator, [Consultant #1] immediately fled, saying, “No, no, just consider me [My Name]!”

I laughed my head off at that, and was glad to know that apparently [Consultant #1] had the same thought as me regarding our resemblances!

Not The Kind Of Attack You’re Used To Dealing With

, , , , , | Friendly | January 11, 2019

I sometimes randomly faint. It doesn’t matter if I’ve eaten or not, or if it’s hot outside or not, I just faint, or everything goes black, but I’m still technically conscious. I can’t avoid it, so the only thing I can do is sit still wherever I can.

I was in the line in the supermarket with my mother when I felt an “attack” coming. There was a wooden couch very close to the lines, so I knew I could make it there instead of having to sit on the ground. There was an old couple in front of me, so I politely asked them if they could move. They completely ignored me. Normally I’d repeat it louder, but I was feeling very fuzzy at this point and could only repeat it at the same volume. After the third time, I just pushed past them and walked to the couch. I felt kind of bad for doing that.

After a couple of minutes, I felt well enough to go to the line again so I could help my mother with the heavy bags. When I arrived, I saw that she was having a big argument with the old man and that a random woman in the line had joined in.

Apparently, the couple had heard me, but had chosen to ignore the “stupid, young, lazy brat.” After I had left, they’d started insulting me and complaining about me “pushing them to the ground because standing for a minute is too much for the youth.” My mother did not appreciate that and told them off. The old man had then started insulting her, too, and a woman in the line had jumped to her defense. Meanwhile, the cashier was attempting to convince the old woman to leave because she was done scanning their stuff and they had paid already.

The old man then attempted to make it physical, but after trying to shove my mother weakly, security showed up to escort him and his wife out.

My mother and I thanked the random woman, and I was offered something to drink by the manager, but I declined because I just wanted to go home.

The old man ended up banned from the store.

Justice At 40 MPH

, , , , , , | Legal | January 10, 2019

I am with my mum and she is driving. In front of us is another car; it’s a red thing that that looks like it has power — I know my cars. We get to a junction and we can see a van coming down the road, but is well off so the car in front turns onto that road. Mum pulls up and realises the van has sped up by a lot — it’s a 40-mph road — so she decides to stay put until the van flashes past, and then she pulls out. We see the van speed past the car and pull in front before slowing down to normal speed. We tut. We catch up with the van and car; the van is actually doing 30 mph, so it’s going under the speed limit, but the roads are very bendy so overtaking isn’t safe. Clearly, this is some jerk who couldn’t handle someone being in front of them. So we tut. Again.

The van then suddenly slams on the brakes. The car in front emergency stops, as do we, thus there is no accident. The van starts again and makes to continue on its way whilst I get Mum’s inhaler, as the stop has triggered her lung condition. Then I start to call the police on my mobile and mumbling expletives under my breath. Mum has put the hazards on cause she can’t breathe properly.

The car in front turns on its lights and siren; it’s an unmarked police car.

The van stops. Mum wheezes in what I presume is a laugh. I hang up the phone, giving Mum her inhaler. Two officers exit the red car. They first check on us and note the respiratory distress this caused Mum. Once they’ve confirmed she’s not going to drop dead, one makes their way to the van whilst I give our details should they be needed and Mum recovers her breath.

Once done, we continue on our way home, past the van driver and another officer. The driver’s expression is something I will think about whenever I’m down.

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