Let It Rip!

, , , , | | Friendly | June 11, 2019

I’m the stupid one here. I go to my local library to use the Internet and sort through some paperwork while waiting for my daughter to get out of an after-school activity. Sitting at the nice, long table, I spread my papers out, and when I run across something I no longer need, out of habit, I rip it up and toss it in the trash, completely forgetting I’m in a place where you’re expected to be quiet. For the record, there is no public shredder.

As I’m packing up my belongings, an elderly gentleman starts walking past the table. When he gets right behind me, without stopping, he rips something almost right next to my ear. I nearly jump out of my chair, and he keeps walking, not looking back.

Guess it serves me right for being so clueless.

Perfect Attendance, But God, At What Cost?

, , , , , | | Learning | June 11, 2019

I grew up with a girl who was a bit shy but extremely smart and talented. Unfortunately, her parents were super strict about her always being the “best” in school, participating in a million extracurricular activities, etc. It really wore her down, and by the time we reached middle school in the late 1990s, she was exhausted. They were especially proud of all of the awards she won at the end of year assembly. You know, perfect attendance, the President’s physical fitness test, etc.

One weekend, towards the end of our eighth-grade year, she called to tell me she wasn’t feeling well and asked if I could gather any homework assignments for her on Monday if she didn’t make it to school. Not a problem, I said, and personally, I thought she could use the break.

Monday morning rolled around and here came [Girl] trudging into class and looking the sickest I’d ever seen her. I asked why she’d come to school, and it turned out her parents didn’t want her to “ruin” her perfect attendance record. They wanted her to have a certificate for every year of school, like that was something colleges were going to be looking for. Even the teachers were concerned. But [Girl] insisted on staying until they made her go home at lunchtime and promised her “record” would still show she was at school that day.

I didn’t think anything else about it until a couple of days later when I woke up feeling pretty horrible myself. I had a high fever, and my mom immediately called me out of school and took me to the doctor’s office. Turns out, I had mononucleosis. Yep, [Girl] had come to school with a raging case of mono. When we got home, my mom put me to bed and started calling other parents, and the list of sick kids kept getting longer.

And that’s how nearly half the eighth grade class at my school all caught mono at the same time. And it was all because this poor girl’s parents didn’t want her to lose her perfect attendance record.

What A Day!

, , , , , | | Right | June 10, 2019

I am working in a vet clinic one morning and a client comes in with her cat for an appointment. I look down at the book and notice her appointment is actually for the following day, Saturday. I mention this to the client and the blood drains from her face as she proceeds to yell, “Oh, s***, y’all! I’m supposed to be at work!”

The client had somehow gotten an entire day ahead in her own mind. She came back the following day on her actual appointment day and told us that, thankfully, her boss just laughed the whole thing off!

Tipped For A Comeback

, , , , , | | Right | June 10, 2019

It’s a busy day at the restaurant where I’m a dishwasher. I hear a lot of stories that the servers tell us in the kitchen. This is one of them.

A waitress comes in, saying how rude a customer is being because they got the wrong order. It’s a simple mistake, right? When she apologizes to them, saying that it’s an honest mistake — the food is for another table — the customer replies with, “Well, there goes your tip.”

Since the employees are allowed to somewhat tell off rude customers, my coworker replies with, “Bud, I’m not here for the tips; I’m here for the fun.”

Seriously, people. We’re all allowed to make mistakes. Being penalized your tip shouldn’t be any sort of punishment. There should be no punishment at all, really.

That Was Knot Meant To Happen

, , , , , | | Healthy | June 10, 2019

When I was about 17, I was treated for an ingrown toenail. After several tries, the doctor decided to remove part of the nail and the root of the nail so that it wouldn’t grow back.

The doctor prescribed the strongest pain medication he could. A stronger medication would have counted as narcotic. I went home, an hour passed and the local anesthetic wore off. I took the pain medication as the pain got stronger.

Due to brain damage I suffered as a child, my pain reception doesn’t work that well. So, I soon reckoned that something was off, since the pain continued to increase. I double-checked the medication, took some more, and waited. The pain still increased. I was going up the walls.

Now it was too late to revisit the doctor, so my dad drove me to the hospital. Luckily, the emergency room was quite empty. I told the doctor there what was up and he wanted to take a look. As soon as he cut the bandage from my toe, the pain was gone. He reapplied a bandage, put the old one in a bag, and told me to bring it to my doctor the next day.

So, the next day, I was back at my surgeon. He was a cheery guy normally. But as he took the bandage from the bag, he grew silent. His head whole head went red as he calmly excused himself. He went on the floor and bellowed through the whole office for the nurse, who had applied the bandage the day before. He was so loud, I expected windows to shatter. As soon as he saw her, he chewed her out. He was fuming.

Afterward, he explained the problem: the nurse had fixed the bandage with a knot, which was a normal procedure, but in the process, she had placed this knot right on the incision in the nailbed. The pressure applied this way was the source for the pain. No amount of pain medication could have helped against this.

Page 4/270First...23456...Last