This Is So Not “OK”

, , , , , , | Friendly | June 26, 2020

I’ve parked my car and rushed to get a parking coupon from a machine. You put coins in the machine and press the “OK” button, it prints you a coupon that states how long you can park your car, and you have to put that coupon inside your car window.

I’ve just put coins in the machine and am searching for more when somebody right beside me reaches for the “OK” button. When I turn my head to see what is happening, there is an elementary school kid, nine or so and probably on his way from school, frantically pressing the “OK” button, looking at me. I just stare at him and suddenly, he runs off.

The machine processes the transaction and after a while, it prints me a ticket that has too little parking time for me to use.

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Some People Just Want To Watch The World Melt

, , , , | Right | June 26, 2020

My dad works at a coffee shop in New Hampshire, where we live. Once, he told me this story after coming home from a long day at work. Keep in mind that this is in the middle of winter in New England, so there’s a lot of snow and we try to control it.

The employees were closing up the store, but it was about five minutes to when it actually closed so they still had new customers. My dad was mopping around the front area when a lady walked in.

She walked in. Her boots were covered in snow.

She walked past the mats by the door and abruptly stomped off her boots right where the rug stopped and my dad was mopping.


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That Poor Printer Will Probably Retire Early

, , , , | Learning | June 26, 2020

When I was in high school, we had a very ditzy substitute teacher. She was nice and usually fun, but she was the type of person who had no reasoning skills beyond “if I push this button, that happens.” If pushing the button did not lead to the expected result, her only solution was to push the button again.

The school had a standard wireless printing system with two industrial printer/copiers in different parts of the building. Most teachers also had regular desktop printers in their classroom for their personal use. However, all school computers defaulted to the nearer industrial printer/copier every time something was printed.

I had an advanced class that only got twenty or twenty-five students per year. One day, our regular teacher for this class was absent and we had the ditzy sub. Our regular teacher left instructions for the sub to print out a worksheet for my class during his — which would also be the sub’s — free period.

The worksheet was four pages. My class needed twenty-five copies. At worst, if someone forgot to print on both sides of each sheet, that would be one hundred sheets of paper, right?

Well… the ditzy sub hit “print,” waited about thirty seconds, didn’t see any paper coming out of the teacher’s desktop printer, and hit “print” again… something like thirty-five times over the course of their fifty-minute free period.

Fortunately, the school librarian caught on when she realized that she was filling the paper trays in the library printer/copier way more often than she had ever done before and checked the printer’s job history. Unfortunately, twenty-eight of the print jobs had already been completed before the librarian could cancel the rest of them.

Twelve years later, I am now working full-time at the same school. The ditzy sub retired long ago, but the regular teacher is still there. He still has copies of that worksheet from that day, and he uses them every year when he gets to that lesson. That worksheet has become his official retirement marker; when he finally runs out of copies, he’ll retire.

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The Butterfly Effect Is Not A Get Out Of Jail Card

, , , , | Right | June 25, 2020

My mom works at a gas station in France that is usually open from 7:00 am to 8:00 pm every day. Her boss has decided to change the opening times following the demand decrease due to the lockdown procedures, so the gas station is open only from 9:00 am to 5:00 pm, which has been advertised on Facebook, on the company’s website, on the door of the gas station, etc.

Safety and hygiene measures are in place, including two metres distance between people and no passengers allowed in cars except for kids.

A guy comes to the gas station demanding reimbursement for the tickets he and his wife got while driving around town one morning, because it’s all the gas station’s fault. He and his wife decided to drive together to the gas station at 8:00 am, when the gas station was usually open, had to turn back after seeing the locked door and lights out, and got spotted by the police who ticketed them for being two in the same car, which is illegal at the time.

That guy’s thinking and claim is that if the gas station had been open, they wouldn’t have gotten the tickets.

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They Need More Lifeguards… For The Out-Of-Water Hazards

, , , , , , | Working | June 25, 2020

When I was fourteen or fifteen, I worked in the snack shack at my local swim club. This was my first real job, so I didn’t have a lot of experience, but I learned quickly. The snack shack was run by a separate company from the pool, so technically, they were my employers. But I will tell you, it sucked.

This place, had anyone actually checked on it, would have broken so many health codes that they wouldn’t have even been able to fit them all on one paper. The entire floor under our grill and fryers was a massive grease pit, and the entire summer, I was scared it would catch on fire and explode.

One time, I swore I saw a mouse disappearing into the bread drawer. Halfway through the summer, there was a fly and maggot infestation. When food went bad, we usually scraped off the ick and still served the good parts!

Toward the end of the year, the company basically gave up on us and stopped sending restock items. This meant that, on Labor Day, by far the pool’s busiest weekend of the year, we were out of fries, onion rings, bread in general, hamburger buns, waters, sodas, candy, and tuna.

And, to top to all off, they took an extra three weeks after the snack shack closed for the year to get us our pay, and they likely wouldn’t have paid us at all if I hadn’t put up a fuss.

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