Red Tape For Bloody Bandages

, , , , , | Working | May 26, 2021

There is a ridiculous amount of red tape and “procedure” involved in doing anything when working in a government department. This is particularly so in healthcare. Everything you can think of needs risk assessment, safe work practise, incident reports, etc.

The current policy in our service is that any time the first aid box is accessed, a lengthy incident report needs to be written and submitted to the manager, further risk assessments made, and documents written up detailing how the incident can be prevented from occurring again.

This is fair enough when the team can use their own common sense and identify where there is an actual need for these documents to be made. But the vast, vast majority of the time the worker only needs a bandaid for their finger to replace one from where they slipped making dinner at home last night.

And because the first aid box has to be checked weekly, the contents must all be accounted for. 

I cracked the other day when a worker needed a bandaid for a blister on their heel from a new pair of shoes. The next morning, I put a giant box of bandaids I bought myself next to the first aid box. Problem solved.

I would like to occasionally see a patient and improve our services to the public rather than writing silly documents all day.

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Welcome To Cats

, , , , , | Related | May 26, 2021

I am watching my in-laws’ four cats. They are all former street cats. Two of them are really fat and are on a diet, but they constantly try to find food. You can’t leave any snacks outside with the cats around. If you accidentally drop anything, you can be sure one of the cats will suck it up like a vacuum cleaner if you are not quick enough to grab it.

Usually, the two normal-sized cats go outside through the window in the morning and roam freely and come back. The two bigger cats can go out but can’t climb back in by themselves. 

One day, I let them all out. By noon, all but one cat has returned. I start to worry about the cat. She is not the heaviest one but her belly is huge and she can’t climb well. I go outside to search for her.

Not surprisingly, I find her by the feeding station for the street cats. When she sees me, she tries to run, but I grab her and try to carry her home. Instead of taking the shorter way beside the main road, where I need to open two gates, I decide to take the longer but safer road where I just need to go by a walking pass.

For a few meters, all goes well. But then, a family with a stroller comes by and the cat wiggles herself free and runs back to the feeding station. Luckily, she is not very quick, so I can grab her again.

After a few meters, the same happens again. The family and some other people now watch me, how I fight with the giant beast, in amusement.

After the fourth time, the cat rips off my mask and scratches my arms. I feel pretty embarrassed and think, “D*** it! Then stay outside.”

But what does the cat do?

She runs toward the gate, squeezes through the first one, walks beside the main road, climbs the second gate, and waits in front of the building, meowing to be let in.

That’s how I got embarrassed and fooled by a cat.

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Cracking The (Brief)case!

, , , , , , , | Legal | May 25, 2021

My father used to work for a company that made things like diapers and other such products. As such, they worked with what is known as super-absorbent. This is the stuff that actually absorbs and holds in the liquid. For anyone who has never seen super-absorbent in its raw form, it is basically a white granular powder, kind of like sugar.

One time, well before the increased security from 9/11, my dad’s boss was flying to a business conference. In his suitcase, he had several samples of super-absorbent to show. Unfortunately, while in the terminal, his suitcase was stolen.

If you have ever played with super-absorbent, or even seen what happens to a diaper in a pool, you’ll know that when it comes into contact with liquid: it turns into a gel and expands. It expands quite a bit, actually. So, if it were inside a confined space when that happened, like, say, inside someone’s sinus cavity…

The boss was able to retrieve his briefcase later from the police at the nearby hospital. He never did get his super-absorbent samples back, though.


This story is part of our Best Of May 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of May 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of May 2021 roundup!

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Don’t Leaf Them Unattended

, , , , , | Working | May 25, 2021

About ten years ago, my mum got involved with one of the local parties, and when the local election rolled around she got involved in delivering their leaflets. Predictably, she got my step-sister and me to help. So, out we went, and as teenagers, we got bored and looked to cause some mischief.

We noticed another party had been round earlier and some of their leaflets were still stuck in the letterboxes along our route, so we came up with a competition to keep us entertained: who could grab the most of the other party’s leaflets out of the letterboxes? It kept us entertained until we finished our piles of leaflets and we headed home.

Of course, my mum saw us carrying the other leaflets and gave a lecture about democracy, blah, blah, blah.

A couple of days later at the victory party, my mum was talking to the local councillor and she told him this story. He laughed and said, “Your girls have a better idea of how democracy works than you do.”

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Go Home And Tell Your Mom What You Did

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: 5sosfan4life | May 22, 2021

I was stationed at the self-checkout of a home improvement store and I had a guy come through with $400 worth of tools. All seemed fine until he went to swipe his store credit card and the register alerted me that he needed assistance.

I walked over to him and scanned my badge to switch the register to assisted checkout mode, finally discovering the “call credit center” message on the screen. No big deal, right? Wrong.

I informed the guy I’d have to call to get the transaction approved and he started acting super shady — fidgeting back and forth, getting really huffy that I was taking so long, the works.

I called the credit center, and when the representative asked me for the name on the card, I realized something was off. The name on the card was a pretty common woman’s name and this guy didn’t seem to fit that bill. I asked him about it and asked for an ID to verify, and all of a sudden, he tried to pull the “Oh, this is my mom’s card” trick on me. He asked me if I wanted him to go get her from the parking lot.

Of course, I said yes; not all the red flags had gone up in my mind yet. He hurried out the door without another word. My manager had been standing nearby at the exit door watching this all go down and told me to give the guy four minutes to come back and then void the transaction if he didn’t.

Well, surprise, surprise… He didn’t. According to my manager, the guy was walking back and forth outside for a little bit before he just left. Maybe he was trying to find a woman he could potentially rope into going along with this scheme. I don’t know. Regardless, my store narrowly avoided a loss and both my manager and our asset protection associate were extremely pleased that I was able to put a stop to the shenanigans.

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