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Unlike Windows, This Never Gets Old

, , , , , , , | Right | September 10, 2021

My auntie’s friend struggles with using computers and technology. She tries her best but finds it very difficult, so she will sometimes ask me for help. Sometimes her requests are quite simple, but she tries her best so I don’t mind helping. She has recently been upgraded to Windows 10 which reminded her of this story that took place in the early 2000s.

She had bought her teenage son a new computer for his birthday but was having difficulty setting it up. She managed to get it plugged in but struggled with creating accounts and setting up a new user.

So, she decided to ring the computer company for help. During the call, the advisor asked her what Windows she had. Wondering why that had anything to do with the computer, she happily replied, “Double glazing.” 

She told me the tech guy explained what “Windows” meant in terms of technology. But nonetheless, they had a good laugh, and she now has a funny story to tell.

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When Veggies Are Involved, You Do What You Gotta Do

, , , , , , | Related | September 9, 2021

My aunt used to run an in-home daycare. One day, my two youngest brothers, both under the age of seven, were refusing to finish their lunches. One didn’t want to eat his vegetables and the other didn’t want to eat the rest of his sandwich. My aunt told them that they couldn’t leave the table and go back to playing with the other kids until their food was gone and went back into the kitchen to clean up.

While she was starting on the dishes, my brothers swapped plates and ate each other’s leftovers. My aunt figured it wasn’t worth preparing more food and fighting them on it, so she let them go. To this day, I admire their problem-solving.

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Lordy, Lordy, Look Who’s Already Forty!

, , , , , , | Related | September 8, 2021

My parents got divorced when I was ten and both remarried soon after. My mom married a man several years younger than her. By coincidence, the wedding was two weeks shy of her fortieth birthday, and he joked that he’d scheduled it for that date because “I wasn’t gonna marry a forty-year-old!”

Several years after that, Mom got really into genealogy. She was adopted as a baby and was never particularly interested in finding her birth parents, but as she was researching her family, she did find records related to her adoption.

In particular, she found out that in our state, at the time she was adopted, kids got a whole new birth certificate when they were adopted. She’d been given a new name, new parents, and a new birthday — the day on which her adoption was formalized. With a little more digging, she found her original birth certificate, which showed that she was roughly three weeks old when she was adopted and, therefore, was roughly three weeks older than she’d thought she was. She’d turned forty the week before her wedding.

We still tease my stepdad sometimes about how he married a forty-year-old after all. Since he’s now in his fifties and happily married to a sixty-year-old, it doesn’t seem to bother him much.

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Cobble(r) Together An Excuse

, , , , | Working | September 8, 2021

I was out with my parents and sister at a fancy steakhouse. Our dinner was excellent and our waiter was very attentive.

When we got to dessert, my mom ordered a kind of pear cobbler to share with my dad, among other desserts. However, a few bites in, she realized something was off about it. All four of us tried a bite; I immediately got a rancid taste in my mouth.

My parents called over the waiter and let him know that the cobbler tasted rancid. He was polite but very confused, and it didn’t seem like he believed us. He left our table to take the cobbler back, and we continued with the other desserts.

A short while later, we noticed the waiter at a nearby table, slicing meat for the occupants. He had his body and face toward us. His face was contorted into a look of disgust like someone had flung dog vomit into his agape mouth. My family immediately started cracking up.

When he returned to our table, he informed us that he and some other employees had tried the cobbler back in the kitchen, and they had quickly realized we were right. They threw out the whole batch of cobbler, comped us for it, and gave us some free chocolates “to help get the taste out of our mouths.”

Sadly, we never learned what had happened to the cobbler to make it go bad, but to this day, I still laugh when I remember the poor waiter’s face as he experienced that aftertaste!

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Just Don’t Tell The Bride

, , , , , | Working | September 8, 2021

My dad told us this story about one of the recent catering events for his business. He was catering for a wedding and he had a chain bakery bake the cake. It was a simple three-tier cake and the picture he showed us looked beautiful. However, the manager of the bakery was not used to delivering cakes, especially tier cakes, and it showed.

When the manager delivered the cake, the third tier had fallen down the back of the cake while in the trunk of the manager’s car. The manager simply handed my dad a tube of icing for “touch-ups” and expected him to fix it.

My dad was furious and took the cake to another location of the bakery chain, showed them the cake, and asked them to fix it. The bakers at this bakery were just as shocked and pissed at the other location as my dad was. 

Instead of just fixing the cake, they threw it out and made a whole new cake from scratch. Thankfully, the wedding wasn’t for another hour or so when the cake was finished; otherwise, the cake would’ve been late. 

I hope the first bakery was reprimanded for their behavior for delivering him a cake like that and expecting him to fix their mistake.

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