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Sorry, The Speaker Doesn’t Come With A Translate Function

, , , , | Right | December 8, 2022

I used to work in fast food. We would regularly have people from construction crews come in, and one person would usually end up ordering for the entire group — anywhere from five to twenty people. Often, these guys wouldn’t speak English, so they’d come in the store, we’d bust out the picture menu for them, and things would go pretty smoothly.

Every once in a while, though, these guys would decide to come through the drive-thru, and that was always an ordeal. If you’ve ever tried to take an order from someone who doesn’t speak the same language you do, is ordering for fifteen people, and is talking through a drive-thru speaker, you’ll realize it is one of the most frustrating experiences there is.

One day, this guy was trying to order and just kept yelling, “Two, two, four!” over and over and over.

At first, I thought he was ordering a number two meal and two number four meals. Apparently not. He got more emphatic with his shouting. So, I looked through the menu and found an item priced at $2.44 and thought that might be what he wanted. Wrong again!

He yelled for a few minutes more, and then just started going off on me in Spanish.

Meanwhile, I was yelling back through the speaker:

Me: “I don’t speak Spanish! I don’t know what you want! Come order inside!”

After a few minutes of this, I realized it wasn’t going anywhere and started helping other customers.

The guy eventually gave up and decided to come inside, but not to order. Oh, no, it was too late for that. This guy came in irate and was yelling and screaming profanity at everyone behind the counter.

The funny thing is that he was cussing and yelling at us in English when he came inside. Oh, you speak English now all of a sudden? Great!

A Pen In The Hand Is Mightier Than… Wait…

, , , , , , | Related | December 7, 2022

My mother told me this story. When I was about two years old, I was appearing to be mute, as I only talked when I deemed it necessary which was, apparently, quite rare.

One day, when we were visiting my great-grandparents, my great-grandfather declared:

Great-Grandfather: “I will teach this girl how to talk.”

He walked over to where I was drawing, grabbed an item in each hand, and started “teaching” me.

Great-Grandfather: “This is a pen. Say after me, my girl: pen. A p-e-n.”

After a while, I had enough, shook my head, and said:

Me: “No pen. Pens. Two.”

Then, I went back to drawing like nothing had happened, while my parents nearly died laughing.

If We’ve Learned Anything From NAR, It’s That NOTHING Is… That

, , , , , | Working | December 6, 2022

English is not my first language; this happened in Portuguese and I translated.

I am on the IT team, and my director asked me to write an email for bankers about an activity they have to do via Teams.

Director: “Hi, can you write the email in  IPS?”

Me: “Yes, of course!”

But I had no idea what the h*** “IPS” was, so I went to my manager.

Me: “What is IPS?”

My manager laughed and then explained.

Manager: “IPS — ‘Idiot-Proof Style’.” “APB — ‘à prova de burros’.”

Just Say What You Mean

, , , , | Working | December 6, 2022

My cousin is autistic and takes things very literally. We both work for the same local supermarket but not in the same department, so we have different line managers but the same general manager.

We were planning a weekend city break. On Thursday, we found out there were going to be several train delays and cancellations over the weekend, so [Cousin] asked his manager if he could leave work Friday at lunchtime (I don’t work Fridays) so we could still arrive at the hotel in good time. His manager actually told him to take the whole day off, so we headed out early Friday morning, planning to spend the whole day sightseeing.

Around 10:00, while on the train, [Cousin] got a call. I couldn’t hear what he said, but he looked and sounded worried, and then he handed the phone to me. It was his manager.

Manager: “Right, you need to tell [Cousin] that he does not have leave booked and that he needs to get back to work right now.”

Me: “Sorry, we’re on a train, so that’s not possible. He said you approved the time off.”

Manager: “I did not!”

Me: “He asked for the afternoon, but you approved the whole day?”

Manager: “For God’s sake, I told him we needed him here! How did he get that wrong? Honestly…”

Me: “Can you hold on just a minute?”

I asked [Cousin] exactly what the manager had said when he asked for the day off.

Me: “Okay, [Manager], he asked for the afternoon off, and you said Friday afternoon was your busiest time and you needed him in. Then, he said he was going on holiday and really needed to leave at noon, and you said if he was leaving at 12:00, he might as well not even bother turning up. And that was the end of the conversation. Does that sound right?”

Manager: “Yes!”

Me: “You told my autistic cousin not to turn up for work at all on Friday.”

Manager: “No! I meant it wasn’t worth working half a day and we needed him all day! I was shaking my head at him. It was obvious what I meant.”

Me: “You told my autistic cousin, who you know full well takes things literally, not to bother coming to work today. You know I’m his advocate, right? And [General Manager] is fully aware of all accommodations that need to be made for his disability?”

Manager: “But… Crap.”

He hung up. I assured [Cousin] that all was well, and I had a word with [General Manager] on Monday just to make sure he wouldn’t get in any trouble.

We had a great weekend.

Should’ve Seized The Opportunity To Order Sooner

, , , , , | Healthy | CREDIT: DisgruntledGremlin | December 6, 2022

I work in a pharmacy. We have a sick kid with all kinds of health problems, physical and psychological, so he’s on a lot of medications. His parent/guardian is an absolute entitled jerk. She pulls the “I have a disabled child” card at every opportunity she can and uses that excuse to be super rude. She actively looked for problems before this incident, but now I’m pretty sure she’s actually trying to bait us into doing or saying something so that she can sue us.

[Kid] is taking clonazepam for his anxiety AND clobazam for his seizures. I’m sure you can guess exactly where this is headed. [Kid] ran out of clobazam, so [Parent] called the doctor to request a refill. She has an accent and has a stuffy nose when she called the doctor. [Parent] swears that she called in his clobazam, but the doctor sent clonazepam because that’s what he heard. The doctor checked the kid’s profile and saw that he was taking clonazepam, so that’s obviously what he sent. It is too early to fill the clonazepam, so we just put the script on hold.

[Parent] calls and demands to know what is going on with the kid’s medication.

Me: “It’s too early to fill that prescription; you’ll need to wait for two more days before we can fill it.”

Parent: “He ran out of his pills three days ago. He needs it now!

Me: “We can’t fill the clonazepam because it’s a controlled substance and it’s too early.”

Parent: “The doctor called it in! Why can’t you just do your jobs?!”

And blah, blah, blah. [Parent] does not get [Kid]’s medicine that night.

At this point, the kid has been without clobazam for three days. Guess who has a seizure and has to go to the hospital. And guess who calls us first thing in the morning and immediately demands:

Parent: “Where is your manager?!”

Apparently, in Entitlement World, all pharmacists are managers. [Pharmacist] has to hear about how we allegedly refused to fill [Kid]’s seizure medication and he ended up in the hospital and she is going to sue us, blah, blah, blah.

[Pharmacist] looks at the kid’s profile and sees the script for clonazepam, but she scrolls down further and sees the old script for clobazam without any refills.

Pharmacist: “Which medicine did you tell the doctor to call in?”

Parent: “The clobazam!”

Pharmacist: “Clobazam and clonazepam sound very similar. Are you sure that’s what you called it?”

Parent: “You should have known which medicine my kid needed because he was already out for three days. You should have just filled the one he needed!”

[Pharmacist] calls the doctor.

Doctor: “[Parent] absolutely called in clonazepam last night, not clobazam. I sent the script for clonazepam.”

[Pharmacist] calls [Parent] back.

Pharmacist: “[Doctor] heard you request clonazepam and sent over the one you asked for.”

Parent: “You should have known which one he’d been out of for three days and needed a refill for! It’s your pharmacy’s fault my son was admitted to the hospital!”

She didn’t blame the doctor for sending in the clonazepam script. She blamed the pharmacy for filling the clonazepam script instead of magically knowing it was supposed to be clobazam.

The whole fiasco was [Parent]’s fault for waiting until the kid was without his seizure medicine for three days and then requesting the wrong medication when she called the doctor.

She kept calling and trying to make us apologize for “sending her kid to the hospital”. We told her that we felt sorry that it had happened to her kid, but we didn’t say we were sorry FOR what happened. She kept calling back trying to get an apology, so I think she was trying to get a cashier or new tech to say, “I’m sorry FOR what happened,” so she could sue us.