Winning Never Felt Like Such A Chore

, , , | Right | November 14, 2019

(I’m helping to run a raffle at a monthly market of local artisans. Each vendor has donated merchandise or vouchers, and we split these into several prize baskets valued at hundreds of dollars each. Every customer is given a raffle ticket that they can choose to fill out. Customers can see the prize baskets when they enter the raffle. The raffle ticket states that customers MUST be able to claim their prize between 6:00 and 7:00 pm on the day of the market, and they are also told verbally when they enter their ticket in the draw. At the end of the market, we draw the winners and call them to come to collect their prizes. These are some of the conversations that are had when we call the winners.)

Me: “Hello! My name is [My Name] and I’m calling on behalf of [Local Artisan Market]. You are the winner of our raffle prize; congratulations! Are you able to come to collect your prize by 7:00 pm tonight?”

Winner #1: “Who are you? Why are you calling?”

Me: “[My Name] from [Local Artisan Market]. Were you at the market today?”

Winner #1: “Yes.”

Me: “And did you enter the raffle? Perhaps someone entered on your behalf?”

Winner #1: “I entered it. But I’m not interested. Goodbye!”

(I call the next winner and give them my spiel.)

Winner #2: “Well, I’m awfully busy right now.”

Me: “I’m terribly sorry to interrupt you. Unfortunately, this is the only time you can come for your prize, as stated when you entered.”

Winner #2: “No, I’m too busy; I don’t want it.” *hangs up*

(Another call:)

Winner #3: “What did I win?”

Me: “A basket full of items donated by our vendors, along with vouchers for artists that do custom work!”

Winner #3: “But what exactly is in there? I only want it if it’s good.”

Me: “…”

(Another call:)

Winner #4: “Ugh. Well, I guess I can come to get it now, if I have to.”

(Thankfully, the other winners were much more gracious!)

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 90

, , , | Right | November 13, 2019

(I work in the call center of a credit card company.)

Caller: “I didn’t want to be signed up for four years!”

Me: “The representative wrote 48 months on the contract whilst you were present, correct?”

Caller: “Well… yes, but I thought 48 months was two years.”

Me: “So, you read the contract, signed it, and now you want to get out of it because you made a mistake.”

Caller: “No, I just signed. I don’t want to read.”

Me: “You do realize that our contract is a legally binding contract and hence should be read thoroughly.”

Caller: “And?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 89
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 88
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 87

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Only Those Without Babies Can Understand What It’s Like To Travel With Them

, , , , , | Working | November 7, 2019

I’m currently on maternity leave, two or three months before I’m due back to work, and I realise that I still have a lot of vacation days left over. I ask a colleague who I should talk to about scheduling my vacations — there have been some personnel changes while I was gone — and she tells me to talk to [Superior #1]. She also tells me that technically, all vacation times had to be planned by last November — I was already on maternity then and it’s now June — which nobody told me about. No big deal since we don’t have any trips planned; I figure I’ll just talk to [Superior #1] and get some time off scheduled when nobody else is on vacation. Whatever works. 

I email [Superior #1], asking if I can come see her about when to schedule my time off. She emails me back saying, of course, I can come to the office about that. 

I make an appointment, take my baby with me, ride through half the city, and go to the office. 

When I arrive there, [Superior #1] greets me warmly, and then proceeds to tell me that while she can show me the schedule of who is going away when, I really need to talk to [Superior #2] about when I want to take my time off. 

I just stand there, flabbergasted, with my baby in a carrier, wondering why exactly she couldn’t have told me from the start that she wasn’t the person to talk to about that issue.

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Vegan Jamaican Sounds Like A Great Song But A Terrible Meal

, , , , | Working | November 6, 2019

(A new restaurant has opened in our local mall offering Jamaican food and drinks. They have a Facebook account and announce a raffle: whoever would like to win a voucher for any vegan burger to try it with their family must post a turtle emoji and the usual stuff. I participate and get contacted later via Messenger that I was one of the winners.)

Restaurant: “Please tell us the time and how many people we should make a reservation for.“

Me: “It’s four people at 2:00 pm, if that’s okay? My husband and me with the kids.”

Restaurant: “Great! Just please note that drinks and extras are not included in the prize.”

Me: “Sure, thanks! We can’t wait!”

(This is cool for us, as we are non-vegans and have been curious about the vegan options, but never dared to give it a try for fear of not liking it and thus wasting the scarce family eat-out money for it. We arrive at the place two days later; it’s 2:00 pm and rather empty. They tell us to sit where we like as barely any tables are taken. We pick a seat outside as it’s a warm day. The waiter comes and I tell him about the food we won. He takes the drink order and then we get to the food.)

Waiter: “Okay, so that’s one vegan burger. Anything else?”

Me: “Could you get us ketchup and mayo for the fries for the kids, as well? It does not have to be vegan.”

Waiter: “Well, if you want fries you must order some extra.”

Me: “But I thought the burgers come with fries? Like they are shown in the picture on Facebook? But if not, okay, no problem; please give each of us fries with our burger.”

Waiter: “Well, you won one free burger to try. If you want to share it, it’s your deal, but if your kids are hungry you should really try our kid’s menu.”

Me: *flustered now* “Oh, okay, so only one vegan burger is free? Well, then, we have to look at the menu, please.”

(We end up ordering a kids’ meal for each kid, drinks, and a full burger meal for my husband plus extra fries to go with my vegan burger. Maybe it’s the disappointment of that, but we then wait like what feels far too long and people who ordered after us get their food before our food arrives. The regular food is fine. The burger my husband ordered has onions on it, even though he asked to leave them off, but he just takes them off. The vegan burger misses the melted vegan cheese and sweet onion chutney they said it had in the description. Instead, it has a halved charlotte and one single piece of red bell pepper on it. Combined with the bun, rucola, tomato, and very minty salsa-verde is the sweetcorn patty that is nice and crisp, but consists of 50% big onion chunks, as well. It tastes like toothpaste with onions in a bun. Everybody gives it a bite but we agree that it’s really nothing we could ever like. The portions of fries are tiny for the price, and I end up snacking on my kids’ leftovers, looking forward to eating something for real later. So does my husband, as his burger and fries did not fill him up at all. We ask for the bill and what was supposed to be costing us drinks ended up as a full-priced eat-out that we would have cherished at one of our usual places, but now we feel kind of ripped off. I ask the waiter why my burger was missing so many ingredients from the description and picture and tell them that it tasted really bad that way.)

Waiter: “Yeah, that’s true, it’s not very good that way. We raffled off forty vouchers and ran out of the stuff the burger comes with yesterday. But you can come back any time and get it with all the stuff; it’s much better!”

(No. No, we surely won’t.)

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When The Light Goes Green, Their Mood Goes Dark

, , , , | Working | November 6, 2019

(I have requested the personnel files for an operative who will be transferring to our region. Within a minute of sending the email, I get a phone call from the manager.)

Manager: “Can this wait? We are processing payroll.”

Me: “Absolutely. I’ve just sent the request in. It can be handled at your discretion.”

Manager: “I just can’t understand why you would request this during payroll. We are very busy!”

Me: “I just sent the request; there isn’t a deadline. It can wait.”

Manager: “Couldn’t you have waited? We are doing payroll!

Me: “Yes, I know you are doing payroll. Like I have said, it can wait.”

Manager: “This is just ridiculous. Your request will not be completed until we have finished with payroll. Be more conscientious in the future.” *hangs up*

(I’m a bit befuddled by the call but just assume I sent the request at the wrong time, and that they were quite busy. I receive an electronic copy of the operative’s files within fifteen minutes, however, from someone I’ve never had correspondence with before — their title is Commercial Manager for another region. I forward the email on to the site manager.)

Site Manager: “Why is [Commercial Manager] sending this?”

Me: “I assume [Manager] was too busy, so he asked her to help.”

Site Manager: “[Manager]? Oh, no, no. [Commercial Manager] shares an office with him at [Head Office]. She says he sits there all day on Grindr and Facebook.”

Me: “He seemed pretty stressed about payroll…”

Site Manager: “You know how you can’t start payroll until the little circle turns green on the system?”

Me: “Yeah?”

Site Manager: “That’s his job — his entire job. For some reason he is the only person in the UK with the power to change it green. He does absolutely nothing else.”

Me: “Wow… at least payroll personnel are part-time, I guess.”

Site Manager: *with a pained look* “No, he’s full-time.”

(Thankfully, I haven’t interacted with [Manager] too often during payroll since, but when I do, the conversation is near identical.)

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