Cancelling Any Attempt At Customer Service

, , , , , | Working | January 20, 2018

(My mom and dad are in the middle of a messy divorce, and to add insult to injury, my dad has moved in with his mistress and is trying to cut all our services: Internet, insurance, etc. So, before that happens, I’m trying to transfer the accounts to my mom’s name so we don’t have to go through the hassle of equipment return and new accounts. I’m working on the Internet service, where this lovely young woman is sympathetic to our situation and is going to switch the names for us; she just needs my mother’s authorization. I ask her, since my mother is busy, if we can call back and have it arranged, and she says it is fine. A phone call later, I have this exchange with this guy.)

Me: “The lady told us we could just call back and get that changed.”

Employee: “I see. Unfortunately, I can’t do that. I can sign you up for a new package, though!”

Me: “Oh. I see. Wouldn’t our services be interrupted, though, and our equipment need to be returned?”

Employee: “Yes, that would happen, but I can get you a great deal on cable and Internet—”

(My mom and I aren’t willing to go through all that just for the same service. We already discussed that if they couldn’t do it we might as well look for another, cheaper provider, because the biggest appeal of staying with them is to not have our services interrupted.)

Me: “Well, actually, if that’s the case, I’m afraid we’re just going to have to cancel our current services and go elsewhere.”

Employee: “No, wait a minute. You don’t need to do all that. I’ve got a great deal here for you guys to sign up with a new plan—”

Me: *trying to be polite* “I appreciate your help. Thank you, but all we wanted was to change the name, so if that’s not possible, we’ll just have to cancel. We aren’t really looking to upgrade or anything like that. We’re happy with our current situation and want to keep it. But if we can’t, then we’ll just find something else.”

Employee: “Now you aren’t listening. I can sign you up for another—”

Me: “No. Thank you. But we really don’t want to do all that. We’ll just cancel and find another provider. Thank you, though—”

Employee: “Look, I’m trying to—”

Me: “Sir, if you can’t help us do what we want, then there’s nothing else to discuss.”

Employee: “Fine. But I tried to help you.”

Me: *losing all patience* “No. Actually. You didn’t, really.” *I hang up*

The Last Jedi Meets The Last Straw

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

Over the winter break I went to see the new Star Wars movie with my brother and his fiancée. I was staying with our parents for the break, and my brother and his fiancée live thirty minutes from there so we decided to meet at a theater halfway between those locations. Neither of us had been to it before.

Ten minutes before the movie was to end, three people walked in and sat in a row in front of us. They all took out their cell phones and started checking texts and Facebook, and chatting with each other. It was incredibly distracting. I finally decided to stand up and get a manager to deal with them. On my way back into the theater I leaned over their seats and told them a manager was on the way. They all leapt up like they were on fire. When they turned to face me, I realized they were all in their late teens or early twenties and were wearing uniforms. They worked for the theater.

It turns out they were the cleaning crew. When we exited the theater, they were all standing by the door, looking down at their feet.

Taking Stock Of Your Laziness

, , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I come out of the back room with my hands full of toys. One of my new employees sees me struggling and comes to help me.)

Me: “Can you stock those walking dogs for me? I have a lot more stuff to bring out.”

Employee: “Sure.”

(I go to the back room to grab more stuff, and when I come out I see him at the front talking to another employee.)

Me: “Wow, that was fast!”

Employee: “Uh-huh.”

(I think nothing of it until an hour later when I go to sign out and see the dogs thrown haphazardly in the corner of the back room. I grab them and storm up the employee.)

Me: “We clearly have a different definition of what ‘stocking’ means.”

Won’t Lose Sleep Over Losing A Job

, , , , , , , | Working | January 19, 2018

(I am a college student, working as a summer cleaner for my former school district along with three other students and the district custodians. I am paired up to work with another girl. Our task mainly consists of scraping gum off the desks and moving said desks out of the classrooms so the custodians can wax the floors. This girl has been known for wandering off and hiding in one of the classrooms so she can sleep while I do all the work. I go to my supervisors about it. A couple of weeks later, we are cleaning the gymnasium, and when I turn around to ask my coworker a question, I notice she is lying on the gym floor, sound asleep and snoring. Right at that moment, my supervisor and the head custodian walk in to check on us and see her sleeping on the floor. Then, they look at me. My supervisor looks irritated because he has caught her many times sleeping on the job after asking her not to, but the head custodian looks amused and smiles. As my supervisor goes over to wake her, the head custodian stops him.)

Head Custodian: “Don’t wake her up; I have an idea. [My Name], go to the supply cart and pretend you’re looking for something.”

(I don’t ask any questions, so I walk over to the supply cart and bend down to get a garbage bag, and out of the corner of my eye, I see him walk up behind her and start to yell, “FIRE! THERE’S A HUGE FIRE IN THE BUILDING! GET OUT NOW!” My coworker jumps up, startled, and when she sees the head janitor and our supervisor standing in front of her, she goes white in the face.)

Head Custodian: “I think we need to have a little talk, [Coworker]. This has been going on for way too long and is getting out of hand. [My Name], do you think you will be all right by yourself?

(Trying not to laugh, I nod, and my supervisor smiles at me.)

Supervisor: “Poor [My Name] is so used to working by herself by now, and she always does a great job, too. She will be more than fine!”

(As they left, I went back to work and when it was time for lunch, I informed my other two coworkers what happened. When I was about to clock out for the day, my supervisor informed me that they would be bringing in someone from another building to work with me because they had decided to fire my coworker. I worked this summer job for three years, and every year I made sure to warn any of the new employees not to fall asleep on the job, especially when the head custodian was around!)

Shouldn’t Be The Walking Dead

, , , , , , , | Learning | January 19, 2018

(I’m in PE with my two friends and this exchange occurs:)

Friend #1: “I’m a walking corpse.”

Friend #2: *singing in a cheerful voice* “Badabap.”

Me: “Hey, we’re supposed to be running corpses!”

Friend #2: “Oopsie-daisy. At least [Coach] isn’t watching us right now…”

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