Not Very Personable

, , | Right | April 12, 2018

(I volunteer at a thrift store that supports a local animal shelter. We have recently gone through a change in managers. Our previous manager was asked to step down due to not being a people person. She’s a nice enough lady once you get to know her, but can be extremely blunt, and we got some complaints. I’m helping a customer carry her bags out to her car.)

Customer: “You really do have a nice store here.”

Me: “Thank you; we try.”

Customer: “Especially since you no longer have that manager.” *laughs, then looks at me expectantly*

Me: *frozen in shock for a moment* “I… like [Previous Manager].”

Customer: “Well, she was very rude and mean.”

Me: “She’s kind of brusque, but she never meant to be mean. It’s just her personality.”

Customer: “Well, you can’t have personalities in the service industry. Especially in a place that runs on donations.”

Unfiltered Story #107803

, , , | Unfiltered | March 26, 2018

Me: “Hi how, are you toda-”

Customer: “THAT’LL BE A SENIOR DISCOUNT”

This happened far too often.

 

That Is “Pretty” Awesome, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(While working a temporary job at a thrift store, I am usually working in the back room, sorting donations. Every so often, I’ll be called out to clean up the floor, as I am one of the few full-time workers. I am sorting the women’s plus-size section.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, could you hand me that black skirt there, right next to the jeans?”

(I oblige and hand her the hanger.)

Customer: *looks at the size tag* “Oh, no, this is too big for me. But it looks like it would fit you.”

(I am a large guy, who sometimes indulges in cross-dressing.)

Me: “Well, thank you, ma’am. Are you sure it’s my color, though?”

(I keep sorting the rack as we talk.)

Customer: *sensing that I’m not joking* “Well, of course. I bet it’d look good with that black and white top in the next row.”

Me: “That sounds like a good mix. There’s just one problem: employees aren’t allowed to purchase items. I’m not sure why.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you can find something similar at another store.”

(The conversation goes on for a little while and when I finish, I see an eight-year-old girl by the books, trying to reach up for a toy on the shelf. As I hand it to her, she asks me this:)

Little Girl: “Mister, do you dress up like a girl?”

Me: “Yes, I do, but not when I’m at work.”

Little Girl: “I bet you’re really pretty.”

(This immediately brightens my mood until her mother steps in.)

Mother: “No, he isn’t. Boys aren’t meant to be pretty. Only girls are.”

(The little girl looks at her mother, back to me, and to the customer I was helping.)

Little Girl: “Mommy’s lying. You would be very pretty! Like a… giant princess!”

Customer & Me: *laughing*

Me: “Thanks, little girl! I’m going to put that on my business card!”

Little Girl: “Okay! Bye-bye, Princess!”

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That Is ‘Pretty’ Awesome

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Karma Is A Dish Best Served As A Casserole

, , , , | Working | February 16, 2018

(I’m shopping in one of the local thrift stores, not really looking for anything specific, just killing time. In the very long aisle that holds kitchen and glassware, I see a nice casserole dish on the top shelf. I’m six feet tall so this is easily within my reach. As I go for it, I hear a sharp voice behind me.)

Employee: “Can’t you read the sign? It says, ‘Ask for assistance for items on the top shelf.’”

Me: “Okay, sure. I can reach it, though.”

(This man might be 5’6″, but I doubt it.)

Employee: “No, you can’t! I’ll get the ladder.”

(He walks to the end of the aisle, mumbling, and returns with a folding step stool. He makes a big deal out of unfolding it, positioning it, and then climbing onto the first step. On this step, he is still shorter than me. He does not step up to the next, larger step.)

Employee: “What is it you want up here?”

Me: “The blue casserole dish.”

(He reaches for it and knocks over a vase. He pulls the dish down, knocking over another glass item, which rolls right off the shelf and smashes onto the floor. He thrusts the dish at me.)

Employee: “I hope you’re happy.”

Me: “Oh, it has a nick in it. Never mind.”

(I set it back on the top shelf and walked away.)

Zero Points For Creativity

, , , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I work at a thrift store. If you use your card to make a purchase, our registers let you sign the pad using a stylus. When you press “OK,” it briefly pops up a digital copy of your signature on our screen. Two boys in their late teens purchase some sports equipment. One scribbles on the pad, and then elbows his buddy and points to the screen in a not-so-subtle fashion, snickering all the while. His buddy cracks a huge grin, as well. I already know exactly what he’s done, so when a scribbled part of male anatomy pops up in lieu of his signature, I’m prepared. Keeping my face cheerfully Retail-Friendly, I print the kid a copy of his receipt and hand it to him, which contains a copy of his “art.”)

Me: “Thank you for shopping with us! Here’s your d**k-on-a-slip!”

(The kid’s eyes went huge for a second, and then both of them fled with their items and receipt. Maybe they didn’t expect the seemingly-innocent female cashier to give as good as she got? Or maybe they figured I would never actually see it? Who knows. And no, I didn’t get in trouble for it. My manager laughed hysterically, and I got a high-five from another female cashier, who said she would do her best to remember it if another customer tried that with her.)

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