What A Sweet Gesture

, , , , , | Hopeless | November 23, 2017

(I am working a long shift at the thrift store, and have not eaten for a while. A customer approaches me with a plastic bag with some white thing inside.)

Customer: “Hi! Who is the manager now?”

Me: “Well, that would be [Manager].”

Customer: “Oh. Well, is she out on the floor?”

Me: “No, ma’am. She’s in the back. Would you like me to call her up for you?”

Customer: “No, no, that’s fine. How many people are working today?”

Me: “Three.”

Customer: “Only three?! Well, I guess you each get a box.”

(She pulled three boxes of delicious-looking caramel rolls out of her bag and walked out, after I thanked her profusely. Not all customers are horrible!)

Thrifty With Love

, , , , , , , | Romantic | November 19, 2017

(My older sister and I have finished shopping at a thrift store and are waiting in line to check out. There are lots of families in the store, and soon there is an announcement over the store’s PA system.)

Store PA: “For safety reasons, children cannot be left unattended in the store. Please make sure your children are with you at all times.”

(While we wait, I’ve decided to look at the jewelry displays on the other side of the register counters. I am gone for maybe a minute, but out of the corner of my eye I notice my sister is already talking to someone, which isn’t that unusual, given how outgoing she is. She’s in her mid-20s and is talking with a man who looks to be in his 40s. When I return, I do not expect to hear the following.)

Random Man: “It’s important to keep up with the trends to look presentable. I have thousand-dollar suits, but this was too good a deal to pass up. I mean, eight dollars?” *holds up old-looking, yellow-ish and tan blazer* “One time, it was raining and I didn’t want to ruin my fancy shoes, so I wore grungy shoes—”

Sister: “And you brought the other pair to change into?”

Random Man: “No. But wearing those shoes turned out to be a mistake.”

(I’ve been silent, trying to figure out why she’s talking to him about work clothes. She suddenly turns to me.)

Sister: *in a louder, more excited voice* “I’m thinking about going back and buying that Super Truck video game.”

Me: *groaning* “Please, no. That game looked so stupid.”

Sister: *continues pointedly talking to only me* “Nah, it looked fun!”

(I get the feeling she’s trying to avoid talking to the man again, and we continue to chatter about video games until we reach the register. We pay quickly and dash out the door before he can follow us.)

Me: *Incredulous* “Was that man in a thrift store trying to hit on you by saying he has thousand-dollar suits?!”

Sister: “Yeah! I don’t know how I get all these random guys hitting on me! He was definitely way older than me and not that attractive. He just started talking about how he was going to get [the blazer] tailored.”

Me: *joking* “I should have known better. They clearly said not to leave your children unattended in the store, for safety reasons.”

Sister: *also joking* “Yeah, this is all your fault.”

Jesus Entitles You To Nothing

, , , , | Right | September 1, 2017

(The thrift store I work at has a valued customers promotion. Spend twenty dollars, get a stamp. Ten stamps gets you 50% off an entire purchase. At the time of this story, I have been on the register a month. A customer comes up to the register, pulling three full shopping carts.)

Customer: “So you know, I have a full shopper’s card.”

Me: “All right. Could I see the card please?”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t have it with me. I left it at home. But you can trust me.” *she shows her cross necklace* “I’m a Christian.”

Me: “Ma’am, without the actual card, I can’t give you the discount. Your faith isn’t a good enough reason to give you the discount.”

Customer: “Why, don’t you trust a Christian woman?”

Me: “Ma’am, on the list of answers to the question, ‘What would Jesus do?’ I’m pretty sure ‘defraud a thrift store’ is nowhere on it. What I can do is ring up your purchases until you hit two hundred dollars, then give you the full stamp card to get the discount on the rest of the order.”

Customer: “No, I have a full card and you will honor it, because I’m a Christian.”

Me: “Ma’am, may I just say ‘Render unto [Store] what is [Store]’s, and render unto God what is God’s.’”

(At this point, the manager arrives and deals with the customer. Afterwards, the manager pulls me aside.)

Manager: “She’s tried that before, on other new cashiers. You handled that well.”

Me: “You don’t grow up in a church without learning how to deal with ‘Christians’ like that.”

If I Had A Dollar For Every Lie

, , , , | Right | June 16, 2017

(I work as a cashier at a non-profit thrift store. A customer comes up to my till full of what appears to be yarn and a few other crafting items.)

Customer: “This is all 50 and 25 cent stuff. Can I just tell you how many are 50 and how many are 25 so you don’t have to go through everything?”

Me: *a bit suspicious* “No, ma’am, I’ll need to go through it all. Just to be sure.

Customer: “But it’ll be so much faster this way.”

Me: “I insist, ma’am.”

(She argues for a little bit more but relents. Sure enough, the first layer of items are just balls of yarn priced 25 and 50 cents. But after that, there are a whole bunch of fabric bolts ranging from $1 to $2. As I’m going through her purchase, I’m politely mentioning the price of each item, as she just stares at me being completely silent. After she pays…)

Customer: “You should learn to be more trusting of others.”

Me: *stunned* “Umm… Thank you, ma’am. Have a wonderful day!”

Almost Having A Senior Moment

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Right | November 23, 2016

(I’m working the register on Senior Discount Day. For some reason they made the age for “seniors” pretty young (55) which results in some odd looks when we ask if customers qualify, something we are required to do.)

Me: “So that will be [total]. Oh, wait! Do you qualify for our senior discount at 55?”

Lady: “Uh, no. I’m close though, I guess.” *jokingly offended* “Do I look like a senior to you? Why would you ask me that?”

Me: “Sorry, gotta ask everyone!”

Lady: “But still…”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m supposed to ask everyone who isn’t a teenager. And I think even you’d agree with me that you can’t pass for 18.”

Lady: *said between laughs* “That’s a good one!”

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