Hot Enough To Burn

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 17, 2019

This happened in 2003. I am male and had one male boss who was in his sixties and about 1,50 meters — five feet — tall. We were the IT-guys at a school.

One day we got a trainee, a lovely and beautiful girl about 18 years old who would be helping us for the next ten months. My boss was notorious for his sexist and creepy “compliments” he gave to women. He already had received several warnings but sadly, there was no way to fire him because his behaviour was just annoying but not considered sexual harassment at that time.

My boss began hitting on the trainee with all sorts of cheesy remarks. The first time I heard it, I immediately told him to shut up or I’d tell his wife. Visibly embarrassed, he left the room and I thought that was the end of it.

A few days later I found the trainee in tears behind her desk. You’ve already guessed it: the boss wasn’t planning on stopping his creepy behaviour. I really felt sorry for the girl because as far as I could judge she could become one h*** of a sys-admin.

That evening I spoke about this to my wife. She had some creepy and sexist remarks from my boss when she sometimes came to school to pick me up, so she could imagine how the girl must feel. Suddenly she began to laugh, took some paper, and wrote some lines down.

She gave it to me and said, “Have your trainee learn these lines by heart. The next time he’s bothering her again, she must say them in a very loud voice.”

The next day I gave the paper to the trainee and told her what to do. She read the lines, began to laugh, and said she couldn’t say those things to the boss. I told her that if she wanted to stay here without the crap my boss was giving her, she had no other options. We could report my boss, and he would get another warning, but nothing would change. The trainee wanted to stay at our school so she began to memorize the lines.

It was Friday, and she said she would study the lines over the weekend. The next Monday we started work and my boss phoned that he wouldn’t come in until lunchtime. Fine. Lunchtime came and the trainee and I went for a coffee in the break room. Most of the teachers and the principal were there, too, so we had to wait in line.

The trainee poured herself a coffee, and as if on cue there was the boss, saying, “Oh, such a hot girl shouldn’t drink hot coffee. I can’t handle you if you’re too hot.” The trainee turned around and yelled at him:

“Now, you listen, you oversexed, over-aged, undersized albino smurf! I don’t want to hear your foul mouth ever again. I’ve had enough of you, creep. Leave me alone or I’ll drown you in the first toilet bowl I can find. It would take just one flush to get rid of the body.”

The room went silent for a moment, and next, there was hysterical laughter and clapping.  

The boss made an exit and the principal went after him. When we came back from lunch, there was a note on my desk that the boss had decided to take some time off to evaluate his career.

The last we heard was that he had applied for early retirement without a goodbye party. I asked my wife where she got those lines from.

She said, “You know how sometimes you only come up with good lines long after the fact? I’ve had these lines prepared just in case I ever met your boss again. I never expected them to work so efficiently.”

Their Only Dream Is For You To Leave

, , , | Right | January 17, 2019

(I’m working the night shift at a hotel during a big Christmas party of over 500 people. We’re all helping out wherever needed, so I switch from working the bar to working the party hall fairly regularly.)

Guest: *sits down at the bar and orders a drink* “So, do you enjoy working here?”

Me: *while making his drink* “Oh, yes, sir. My colleagues are great and the hotel is beautiful, so I enjoy it very much.”

Guest: “But it has to be stressful, right?”

Me: “It can be, yes. But in the end, that depends on how you look at things.”

Guest: “True. Still, you look like a bright girl; wouldn’t you like to do something else?”

Me: “I enjoy my work, so no, not really.”

Guest: “But this job can’t possibly pay you enough! I mean, I work as a manager in my company, and even my pay isn’t enough for the people I have to put up with! You’ve got to meet more idiots than me!”

(I’m trying really hard not to think “Yes, people like you…” This conversation is disrupted by me serving other customers, by the way. But trying to include this would probably create confusion.)

Guest: “Really now. Why don’t you study something? I’m sure you could do that! You could be the boss around here!”

Me: “I can always do that at a later time when I’m sure what kind of degree I’d like to get. For now, I’m content.”

Guest:Really? You’re content serving a**holes drinks?! And clearing dirty dishes? Are you sure you don’t want something better for yourself?”

(A colleague asks me to help him out in the party hall; I am very glad to get away from this guy. Towards the end of the party, while I am clearing the last glasses off the tables, the same guest finds me again. He is drunk and yelling.)

Guest: “THIS is your DREAM, REALLY?! REALLY?!”

(I ignore him and keep on clearing the glasses away. When I return from our back office, an arm is suddenly slung around my shoulder. It is the same guest again.)

Guest: “You’re a pretty, smart girl. You could do so much better. I’m going to help you! I’ll protect you! You can quit right now. I’ll get you a place at a university and you can come back and run this hotel!”

Me: *shrugging off his arm* “Thanks, but I really do enjoy working here. I don’t want to study right now and I don’t want to quit.”

Guest: “BUT WHY? WHY?! WHY DO WORK EVERY IDIOT CAN DO? You’re better than this!”

(I walked away from him, as he got more and more agitated and tried to grab me again. He started to scare me a bit. When I reached the bar, he was still in the hallway screaming how I was so much better than this job. His coworkers collected him soon after, and one sought me out to apologize for his behavior.)

Beautifully Cute

, , , , | Right | January 16, 2019

(I work in a store where we’re encouraged to dress fashionably while wearing as many items from the store as possible. I’m coming out of the back room with one of my male coworkers. We’ve just clocked in.)

Coworker: “You have such a cute style!”

Me: “Thanks! I love your shirt!”

(A customer seemingly comes out of nowhere. He looks high.)

Customer: “You shouldn’t say that.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “You should never call a woman cute. She’s beautiful.”

Coworker: “I wasn’t calling her cute.”

Customer: “Good. Because she’s beautiful.”

Us: “…”

Customer: “Beautiful.”

(He continues to smile at me as I put away clothes on their proper racks. With a last, “Beautiful…” he floats over to another part of the store.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that? I’m gay and you have a girlfriend.”

Me: *jokingly looking into one of our wall mirrors* “Beautiful…”

It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 12, 2019

(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s dirty. I am walking to class and I see some blurriness, so I do the thing I mentioned. I close one of my eyes and look. Then I notice a boy looking funny at me. I brush it off because not everyone does what I do. It is later that day when I am waiting in the hall and browsing NotAlwaysRight. The same guy I saw sits down next to me and starts to lean in and play bad music on his speaker. I just keep sitting there, still reading.)

Guy: “Soooo… a couple of hours ago…”

Me: *looks up and waits for him to continue*

Guy: *raises eyebrow*

Me: *still waiting*

Guy: *starts to lean in, probably for a kiss*

Me: “Uh. You okay?”

Guy: “Yeah? Why? You scared?”

Me: “No, just confused.”

Guy: “What’s confusing? You were winking at me just a while ago!”

Me: “…” *remembers this is the same dude as before* “Sorry, I was just looking through my glasses.”

Guy: “Yeah, right.” *stands up and starts to leave*

Me: “Well… good luck to the next girl you want to randomly kiss in the hall.”

Guy: *looks at me surprised and hurries away*

(Peeps, if you think someone is winking at you, that doesn’t mean you can just kiss ’em.)

Textbook Case Of Creepiness

, , , , , , , | Related | January 10, 2019

(My older brother and I have a typical brother-sister relationship, though most everyone I meet says we’re way closer than a lot of siblings. One day, my cousin, who lives nearby and has always been best friends with my brother, comes over. They’re both three years older, and we all live at our homes. My girlfriend comes over, too.)

Brother: “[My Name]! [Girlfriend] is here!”

Me: “Thanks!”

(My cousin walks into the room just as I greet my girlfriend, and we move to go upstairs.)

Cousin: “Hey, what’s a pretty girl like you doing holding those textbooks? Let [My Name] carry them!” *laughs, grinning at my girlfriend and my brother*

Brother: “Actually, you should let me carry them.”

(I’m shocked because it sounds like my brother is flirting with her, and I thought he would never do that.)

Girlfriend: “No. I’ve got them, thank you very much.”

(She sneers, though I know she’s scared, because my brother is probably a foot taller than us, and my cousin isn’t much smaller.)

Brother: “Please, just one?”

(He winks at me, where my cousin can’t see, and I nod to my girlfriend. My brother takes the books and whirls around, hitting my cousin in the head.)

Me: “[Brother]!”

Brother: “Leave. Now.”

Cousin: “What the f***, man?

Brother: “You’ve always been a creep, and I put up with it when it was about porn stars and s***, but my sister’s girlfriend? No way! Get the f*** out of my house and don’t come back!”

Cousin: “You’re a [LGBT slur], [My Name]? No wonder you’re so ugly! I—“

Brother: “SHUT. THE. F***. UP! NOW!”

(My brother throws the book on the floor, and grabs my cousin’s hair, which is past his ears.)

Brother: “[My Name], door!”

(I scrambled over the railing, dropped a foot to the floor, and ran to open the door. My brother pulled our cousin along and threw him outside. I moved to slam the door, but my cousin grabbed my arm and started screaming cuss words. He tried to yank me outside, but my brother punched him in the face, and as soon as our cousin let go of me, slammed the door closed, locking it. Obviously, we didn’t drive him home, and things were a bit tense at Christmas.)

Page 1/3212345...Last