The Squeaky Wheel Gets A Promotion

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2021

I have a coworker who is just gross. He is an old fashioned good-ol-boy who makes crude jokes to the men in the office and asks the women inappropriate questions, guffawing at the discomfort he causes.

He comes to me at my desk one afternoon. I am overwhelmed with a sudden quick deadline and a headache growing above my eyes. As he starts his leading question, I jam my hand out at him, palm up, and bark:

Me: “Pay me!”

Gross Coworker: *Startled pause* “What?”

Me: “If you’re going to treat me like a whore, pay me.”

The whole bullpen of six women and two men freezes, all eyes on us.

Gross Coworker: “I’m not… What?”

Me: “A dollar a word; ‘a’ and ‘the’ count as words. Numbers count as words, too.”

I am laying the rules out off the top of my head, hand out and never wavering.

Gross Coworker: “I wasn’t—”

Me: “Okay, then, what?”

Gross Coworker: “Well, nothing now.”

He storms away.

Two days later, [Gross Coworker] comes to me to ask if I know why the printer isn’t printing his work. It’s a legitimate question, as I’m the coordinator of the department where the printer is located, even though it is used by many departments, including [Gross Coworker]’s. As he talks, I’m mouthing numbers.

Gross Coworker: “What are you doing?!”

Me: “I’m counting words.”

Gross Coworker: “What? No! This is work-related.”

Me: “I’ll decide what’s work-related and deduct it.”

[Gross Coworker] stormed away, back down the hallway. I went over to check the printer; it was out of paper, so I refilled it and it hummed back to life.

The next week, our floor was pulled into an HR meeting about creating a hostile work environment. I stood up after the presentation, when the floor was opened for questions, and thanked them for their concern but explained that the hostile work environment had died down the week before; heads nodded around the table along with murmured agreement.

Weeks later, [Gross Coworker] was gone but only from our floor. He’d been promoted to a higher floor where he would no longer be interacting with us — well, me, mainly, I guess.

Putting up with him for years, we got nothing but a hatred of gross men. He then squeaked his wheel and moved up the ladder.

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This Is Why People Stay In The Closet

, , , , , , | Working | January 14, 2021

I’m bisexual, but I only tell people if I trust them. I grow close to one girl at my work and decide to tell her. A few days later, I’m working a shift with a male coworker who treats everyone rudely and whom nobody likes.

Male Coworker: “So… [Friend] told me you’re gay.”

Me: *In shock* “Um, no, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.”

Male Coworker: “That’s basically the same thing; you’re just confused. You’ll find a good man eventually, even with that lip piercing and weird holey ears.”

Me: “What business is it of yours, anyway?”

Male Coworker: “I’m just saying, it’s not natural.”

A few days later: 

Male Coworker: “So, my girlfriend and I were looking to try new things in the bedroom. Do you want to join us?”

Me:No. Don’t talk to me again unless it’s about work.”

Male Coworker: “Come on! It’s not like anyone would want to date you, anyway!”

Me: “So first, I’m unnatural, and now I’m suddenly a hopeless whore? You’re twisted, [Male Coworker]. I wasn’t going to say this, but this is why nobody likes you. You’re conceited and condescending.”

Male Coworker: *Rolls his eyes* “Oh, please. I’m not here to make friends, just to make money. In ten years, I’ll be the manager and you’ll be dead in the streets!”

I talked to the Human Resource rep and the manager and they both spoke to him, but his behavior did not improve. He wound up getting fired for cussing out a gay couple.

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Creepy, Cut-Off, and Caught!

, , , , , , , | Right | January 8, 2021

It is the summer of 2008 and I am working at a sports bar/pool hall as a cocktail server. I could write volumes about my time there, particularly the constant sexual harassment. This is long before #MeToo and I’m ashamed to say that in favor of a chill, one-of-the-guys reputation, I just play along. Soon, I’ve heard it all and it is nearly impossible to offend me. Until this one jerk. 

We are in the suburbs of Virginia, about a forty-minute drive from DC. A lot of our Happy Hour crowd consists of government employees and military folk from Quantico. 

At the very end of the bar, right next to my station, there’s a very inebriated man being loud and obnoxious. I am running the pool balls through a machine that cleans and polishes them. 

The fact that I am “polishing balls” is enough to set off the obnoxious jerk. He makes several poor attempts at ball jokes, slurring badly and gesturing sloppily. It isn’t anything I haven’t heard a million times so I roll my eyes and ignore him.

He does NOT like that. He starts ranting very loudly.

Customer: “I hate b****es who don’t like sex, like my whore ex-wife!”

He tries to involve the man next to him, who is staring intently at his drink, very clearly trying to not engage with him. I quickly make myself busy elsewhere.

Eventually, I have to go back. When he notices me, he gets excited and leans as close to me as he can without leaving his stool, and asks:

Customer: “What about you, little girl? Do you like sex?” 

I cannot describe how lecherous and disgusting his tone is, even while slurring. The way he says, “little girl,” makes my skin crawl.

Me: “I don’t think that’s any of your business.”

Customer: *Scoffs* “I knew it! These hot young p***ies all hate sex, but they love to tease!”

The bartender beats me to the punch and tells him:

Bartender: “You talk to her like that again, you’ll be kicked out.”

The perv waves him off and starts talking to his unfortunate “new friend” next to him. However, as soon as the bartender is out of earshot, the perv leans back towards me.

Customer: “Ya know, I could teach you all about sex, little girl. I could make you like it. I know what to do.”

I am beyond horrified and frozen in shock. Good thing he is too drunk to control the volume of his voice, as the bartender storms over.

Bartender: “That’s it, buddy, you’re out!”

He slams down the guy’s tab, which he wisely had already printed out, just in case. Everyone at the bar, including several large regulars, are staring at him menacingly — except the guy next to him, who is doing something on his phone. He wises up and pays begrudgingly, grumbling and cursing the whole time. Then, he stumbles out of the bar.

The shock has subsided, but I am still shaking with helpless fury that I didn’t speak up for myself. I am so disgusted by what he said, I want to go scrub off three layers of skin in a long, hot shower.

Just when I think I am doomed to a ten-hour shift of furious repulsion, the quiet guy who has been barstool neighbors with the perv becomes my hero. After paying, he approaches me with a big smile.

Barstool Neighbor: “Don’t worry, I got him for you. I work for the DEA.”

He shows me his badge.

Barstool Neighbor: “That idiot actually asked me if I wanted to buy some Percocet! I’m off the clock, so I told him my ‘buddy’ was interested and asked for his phone number. He’s about to go sell some drugs to an agent who will nail his a**!”

As he leaves, I look at the bartender, who heard everything, in amazement. With a look of dawning realization, he says:

Bartender: “Oh, he was on pain pills! I wondered how he got so trashed on two drinks…”

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“Legal” Doesn’t Mean “Not Creepy”

, , , , | Romantic | January 6, 2021

I am eighteen and have recently graduated high school when I decide to go to a local anime and comic convention. It’s worth noting that I’m only five feet tall and am told I have a child’s face; I’m often mistaken for being maybe thirteen years old.

I’m finishing up a conversation with a seller at a booth when we have this exchange.

Seller: “Sorry, we don’t have that in stock, but we have a local store, actually! You should swing by and we’ll put you on a waiting list?”

Me: “Ah, nah, sorry. I’m actually not in town much longer. I move away to start college soon. Maybe at next year’s convention!”

We have been talking while walking away from each other to end the conversation before, but at my words, he instantly and almost cartoonishly stops dead and spins on his heels. He power-walks back to talk to me and stands uncomfortably close and leers at me.

Seller: “Oh, college, you say? I didn’t know you were going to college. Well, your… boyfriend… must be awfully proud of you, hm?”

I’m creeped out by this instant shift.

Me: “Uh. Yeah. He totally is. Bye!”

I high-tailed it out of there ASAP after that! He flipped from normal dude to creepy man as soon as he realized I was “legal.”

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An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 9

, , , , | Right | January 3, 2021

I work at a restaurant as a waitress. I am waiting on two men. 

Customer #1: “Pull your mask down, sweetie.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, we need to see you to give you a tip.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen. I’m not going to pull my mask down.”

Customer #1: “If you don’t do it, you don’t get a tip!”

He dramatically waves a quarter in front of me.

Offended, I go find the manager, a tough-as-nails woman in her sixties who doesn’t put up with people’s crap. When I find her and tell her, she is immediately furious and goes to talk to them. When one of the men sees her, he goes pale.

Manager: “[CUSTOMER #1]! How dare you treat my waitress like a cheap piece of meat?! What would your mother think? Now apologize!”

Customer #1: “S-sorry.”

Manager: “Now get out and don’t come back! I’m filing a report against you!”

The men quickly left, and my manager did file a police report. The man was warned and banned from the restaurant.

An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 8
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 7
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 6
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 5
An Ugly Side Of Society Has Been Unmasked, Part 4

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