Pushy Employee Seeking Pushy Woman

, , , , , | Working | August 2, 2020

I’m a petite woman in my twenties shopping in a major hardware store. Although I might not look like it, I have quite a bit of knowledge regarding construction and carpentry, and I actually worked in repair and maintenance in my last job.

Today, I’m looking for a new electronic lock for my front door, and I know exactly the kind I want, but there’s a large ladder in front of the lock kits I’m interested in. It has a huge sign on it saying, “Employees only. Do not touch!” I’m hesitating in front of the ladder, not wanting to be “that customer” and break the rules by moving it. Just then, an older male employee walks up.

Employee: “Can I help you find something?”

Me: “Yes, thanks. I’m interested in the locks behind this ladder, but I can’t reach—”

While I am speaking, the employee easily pushes the ladder one foot to the side so I can get to the locks.

Me: *Laughs* “Thanks! I feel silly for asking for help now since I could have just done that.”

Employee: “You should have done it. I like a pushy woman.”

I give an uncomfortable fake laugh while I try to think of how to respond.

Me: “Umm… I’ll tell my husband you said that.”

Somehow, he is not deterred and launches into a spiel about which lock types are best, while I groan internally. Unfortunately, he is standing between me and the exit, so I can’t just walk off. After listening to several minutes of information I already knew…

Employee: “So, you should really come with me and check out this other lock model that we have on sale, just down the aisle here…”

I really just want to get away, but he spreads his arms out wide and walks toward me as he gestures for me to walk farther down the aisle with him, so I can’t easily sneak past him. I end up following him to the other locks that are on sale. Finally, I see a chance to leave.

I grab the first lock I see off the display.

Me: “Okay, great, this is everything I need. I’m just going to go to the checkout now. Thanks, bye!”

I scurried off towards the checkouts. Before paying for the random lock I’d grabbed, I checked it out and discovered it was a store brand of the same exact thing I had intended to buy, so it actually would work for my door and save me some money. Still not sure if it was worth dealing with Mr. Creepy, though.

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When You Have Cleaning Supplies But You Still Feel Dirty

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2020

As part of extra measures in my store, we’ve taken to cleaning the baskets and the handles. This is done by spraying the baskets with a strong disinfectant in a squirt bottle and then wiping them down and cleaning off the disinfectant. This is done on the shop floor by the entrance and is done on a rota.

I’m doing them when an older male customer comes in. I smile and greet him as I’m there.

Male Customer: “Oh, she’s a squirter!” *Winks* “What a good girl you are.”

After giving me an extra-long look, he walks off.

Colleague: *Manning the door* “Are you okay?”

Me: *Plastered smile* “I want to drown myself in bleach.”

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These Customers Like To Linger(ie)

, , , , , | Right | July 31, 2020

I am working the registers at my store and the phone happens to ring when there are no customers waiting to be rung out. It is a male customer on the phone that sounds as though he must be at least thirty.

Me: “Thank you for calling [Lingerie store, Location]. This is [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hi, I was wondering what sort of stuff you carry?”

Me: “Well, we carry a range of items from cotton sleepwear, to lingerie, to bras and panties.”

Customer: “Do you carry anything for younger girls?”

Me: “Uh, well our main line is geared towards women in their twenties and older, but we do have the PINK line that some of the younger girls tend to like.”

Customer: “See, I was looking for some lingerie type thing. Could you tell me what you have?”

Me: “Well, sir, unfortunately, I can’t describe all of our options to you over the phone, but you are more than welcome to come in and take a look and one of the associates will be happy to help you.”

Customer: “All right, what’s your name?”

I’m more than a little bit creeped out so I give him a fake name. He decides he wants to come in to look, but he wants my help. When he hangs up, I get on the headset.

Me: “If anyone comes in asking for [Fake Name], they’re looking for me, but please let me know so I can go hide in the back. Thanks!”

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Sooooo Sorry I Couldn’t Help You Steal And Get Myself Fired

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2020

I work in a sports store.

Me: “Hello, that will be $80 for the pants.”

Customer: “How about this… I’ll give you $30 and you don’t put the sale through? Buy yourself something nice.” *Winks*

Me: “Um… No. I’m sorry but I can’t do that. The pants are still $80.”

Customer: “Well, at least give me a discount!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not authorized to give discounts. The pants may go on sale eventually.”

Customer: “Well, f*** you. You’re a stupid little b****, aren’t you?! I’m going to call your manager and have your unhelpful a** fired!”

Me: “Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, f*** you, too!”

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The Invisible Creep

, , , , | Learning | July 20, 2020

A friend of mine is in college taking a course in the sociology of the imaginary. The professor comes to talk about invisibility. 

Professor: “What would you do if you could be invisible?”

Male Student #1: “I’d go in the girls’ locker room.”

Criticism instantly pops up from the class.

Male Student #2: “Seriously, at twenty years old, there are other ways to see naked girls.”

Female Student #1: “And then, there are better things to do than to see people naked without their consent.”

[Male Student #1] realizes that he has shocked everyone and tries to defend himself.

Male Student #1: “But I never said it would be non-consensual.”

Female Student #2: “Because you need to be invisible to go and watch naked chicks who are willing to let you watch them?”

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