Unfiltered Story #190118

, , | Unfiltered | April 3, 2020

(I work at a well known department store and am standing at the register when this hispanic mother and her teenage daughter are pushing a cart out that has bagged items and a big vacuum cleaner in it. The alarm beeps so I ask for their receipt which they give me. I start looking through and I notice that the vacuum cleaner isn’t on there. I tell them this and the daughter ignores me, going through the bags until she finds a shirt with a sensor on it.)
Daughter: “It’s this that beeped.”
Me: “I see that and I’ll take the senor off. But first do you have a receipt for the vacuum?”
Daughter: “It’s on that one.”
Me: “Um, nope. It’s not here.”
(I read everything out-loud and showed her step by step, pointing to each item.)
Me: “See? Not on here.”
Daughter: “Well the lady rang it up and we paid for it.”
Me: “Okay, but as you can see it’s not on here…so do you want to buy it now?”
Daughter: “We already bought it! It must be a computer glitch because the woman rang it up and we bought it!”
(More customers get in line.)
Daughter: “Go help them first.”
Me: “Alright.”
(I picked up the vacuum and set it next to me at the register.)
Me: “I’ll just set this here until we get this fixed.”
(So while I’m helping the customer in line I call up my PIC (Person In Charge) and tell him to come up. Meanwhile the daughter is translating everything to the mother who seems confused. I show my PIC the receipt and tell him what happened, he goes through the SAME THING with them, repeating everything I just said while the daughter keeps saying it’s already been paid for. Finally the daughter says to just ring the d*** thing up again. So I do…)
Me: *Laughs* “Well, isn’t THAT interesting. One sec.”
(I call my PIC back up and tell him he needs to take them up to the customer service desk. Because yes the vacuum had been rung up…the daughter had taken a $26.24 bar-code from another item and stuck it on the vacuum. And I tell him this as if I’m in complete shock. He treated them the same and took them up to customer service to get the money back and buy it at it’s real price, which was $100. I knew the girl was giving me dirty looks while I was doing the transaction earlier, since I had caught what she had done, and found out that at the customer service area she kept glaring and mouthing off to my PIC. But the actually bought the vacuum so all’s well that ends well)

Unfiltered Story #191458

, , , | Unfiltered | April 3, 2020

(A customer orders some ice cream. One employee scoops it while another will ring up their ice cream.)
Cashier: “And what size was that?”
Scooper: “It’s a small.”
Customer: “Umm, it’s cookies and cream actually.”

The Human Step-Counter

, , , , , | Working | March 29, 2020

(I fall off my bike on my way to get some dinner before covering an overnight shift at the front desk for my coworker on a night I don’t usually work. I bang up my knee pretty good, but I am able to walk and everything, and working at a retirement home means orphaned canes. This is about twelve hours after I fell, and my shift is over. We have calendars listing weekly events in the elevators.)

Coworker: “You didn’t change the calendars last night.”

Me: “No, I fell off my bike. Can’t walk that far. I can wait here if you want to do them now.”

Coworker: “No, I’ll get someone else to do them. Why didn’t you do them?”

Me: “Because I fell off my bike yesterday.”

Coworker: “But you can walk?”

Me: “Yeah, it’s not that bad, but it’s really limited how many steps I can take today.”

Coworker: “But you didn’t change the calendars.”

Me: “Yeah, because I can’t walk that far. My knee hurts.”

Coworker: “But you can walk home?”

Me: “Yes, because I didn’t do the calendars.”

Coworker: “Then why didn’t you do the calendars?”

Me: “Because I can only walk so far. And not fast enough to catch the elevators.”

Coworker: “Then why didn’t you come back to the desk and rest in between?”

Me: “Because that is physically more steps.”

Coworker: “No, it’s not; you rest in between.”

Me: “It’s physically more steps.”

Coworker: “Whatever. Why didn’t you stay home?”

Me: “Because I was already covering a shift and there wasn’t anybody to take it?”

Coworker: “I wouldn’t have come in if I was in pain.”

(Note: this coworker didn’t show up for her shift the day before, stranding the coworker I was covering for two extra hours and making our boss work the shift.)

Me: “Well, I have chronic pain, so it isn’t that big of a deal.”

Coworker: “Then why didn’t you do the calendars?”

Me: “Because I have a limited number of steps.”

Coworker: “Whatever. I don’t believe you anyway.”

Me: “All right, if you could only eat 2,000 calories a day, you wouldn’t spend it all on candy, right? You would eat something else? That’s what I’m doing with my steps. I have a limited number.”

Coworker: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “And I don’t think you ever will.”

(I limped out then with my cane. As it was the weekend, I had to go further to catch public transit and barely made it home as it was. I don’t think I would have made it if I’d done the calendars. I’m very glad that I don’t see her very often. Thanks for nothing, [Coworker]!)

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Needs That Shampoo With Those Calming Herbs

, , , , , , | Right | March 29, 2020

(I am a manager, dealing with a customer that has nothing better to do today. The first time she calls, she wants me to walk to our shampoo aisle and begin listing all our shampoos. All. Of. Them. We have an entire aisle of the things, on both sides. Many brands, many varieties.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I am unable to do that. You will need to come in yourself and look for whatever you’re hoping to find.”

(There are about five minutes of blessed silence after hanging up, and then she’s calling back, very upset.)

Caller: “You need to do your job and help me! I am the customer and you need to–“

Me: *far more reasonable than I normally am* “That’s not my job, ma’am. I cannot spend time on the phone listing an entire aisle of products. Either physically come into the store or look online. Now, I have customers who are waiting for help—” *a lie; thankfully, no one else is being inconvenienced by this nonsense* “—and I need to go.”

(Third time. I answer. She is no longer “upset.” She is screaming full bloody murder, in words somewhere between the Cthulhu language and something that would deafen a dog. She takes big, deep breaths and then full-volume screams a word or two, followed by a breathless sob. I hang up again and grab my walkie-talkie. I brief the staff not to answer the phone and to let me handle all incoming calls. I have a feeling this is going to be a doozie. I go into an office and sit down. Fourth time she rings; it’s been approximately twenty minutes since her first call, with a call every five minutes. All I hear is incomprehensible screaming, mixed with overdramatic sobs and heaving breaths. This time, I don’t hang up. Instead, I set the phone down on the counter and leave it there. She is left screeching word salad at empty air. I start typing at the computer, writing an email to the higher-ups, explaining the situation and detailing the times she has been calling. Blessed silence falls and I cautiously pick up the phone.)

Caller: *soft sounds of sobbing and half-moaned cries* “Why won’t you help meeeeee… I just want to buy some shampooooo…” *moan, sob, hiccup*

Me: “Are you done?”

Caller: *sniffling* “What?”

Me: “Are you done acting like a two-year-old?”

(There’s a heavy silence, and I can hear her breathing ramping up again. She’s working herself up to another screaming fit.)

Me: *quickly* “Ma’am, if you are suffering from a medical emergency, you need to call 911. However, I am unable to help you. And no, I will not ‘make it better’ by listing every bottle of shampoo we carry.”

(The moaning and sobbing vanish like magic. The way she was carrying on before, I expected tears to pour through the receiver. She is suddenly and completely calm; there’s not a waiver in her voice to indicate that she was ever in any kind of emotional distress — nary a sniffle or hiccup to mar her perfectly even tone.)

Caller: “But that’s your job! That’s why I’m calling you! You have to list them! I’m the customer! You can’t refuse to help me!”

Me: “Actually, yes, I can. I can refuse you service due to your behavior. We don’t take over-the-phone orders, nor are we allowed to spend a lot of time on the phone listing all of our products. Now, you can check online, or you can come in yourself. Those are your options.”

(I hang up. At the fifteen-minute mark, the phone rings again. As soon as I pick up, there’s a click. I put the phone down. Ten seconds, the phone rings. Click. Phone down. Ten seconds, the phone rings. Click. Ah. We have resorted to this, have we?)

Me: *over walkie-talkie* “Heads up, everyone. Ignore the phone ringing if it’s from [number and name from phone ID].”

(The phone rang. This time I didn’t answer it. I let it ring. She was no longer getting human interaction… at all. No acknowledgement. No response. She was now getting a very indifferent, automated answering machine. The line went dark. Then, the phone rings again. The woman tried four times to get someone to pick up before finally… FINALLY… giving it up. I sent my email, detailing the situation. I never heard from her again while I worked there, and nothing came back from the upper management.)

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Unfiltered Story #190542

, , , , | Unfiltered | March 23, 2020

(I am a security guard out on patrol when I witness this.)

Car: *pulls up on he street and shouts to a man standing on the sidewalk* “Hey, is this a parking spot?”

(The man on the sidewalk turns slowly to the very prominent ‘NO PARKING” sign that we’ve put up because people were ignoring the already posted street sign.)

Sidewalk: *flatly* “No,”