Unfiltered Story #109139

, | Unfiltered | April 16, 2018

(I work at an after-market retail store that only carries LEGO brand building blocks, sets and figures. We often get questions concerning figurines of characters that were produced by other companies or were custom-made by fans of the toys. On this day, a little boy of perhaps 7 years of age approaches me while his parents are busy in another section of the store.)

Child: Excuse me? Do you have a Hitler figure?

Me: (assuming he is using LEGO pieces for a school assignment) No we don’t, as the company LEGO has never made a Hitler figure. I’m sure you could build one out of the right pieces, though.

Child: Oh. So you don’t have a Hitler figure?

Me: No we don’t. We only carry figures made by LEGO, and they never have made a Hitler figure.

Child: Oh. Well, you know, they should. Because if they did, you could make money selling him. People would like to buy a Hitler figure. (Walks away.)

(I spent the rest of the day wondering where the entirety of that conversation came from.)

A Hateful Eight

, , , | Right | April 10, 2018

(Our store closes at different times each day, so some customers are confused about closing times. Two ladies enter together just before closing time and start browsing the shelves.)

Customer #1: “Hey, why did the lights go out?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s 7:58, and we close at 8:00. Do you need help finding anything?”

Customer #1: “What do you mean you close at 8:00? I thought you closed at 10:00?”

Me: “Our hours are very confusing, I agree. We close at 10:00 on Fridays and Saturdays, but at 8:00 on Mondays through Wednesdays.”

(My coworker comes with keys to lock the front door, and I switch off our open sign. It is now 8:01.)

Customer #2: “What is she doing? Is she locking us in here?”

Coworker: “No, I’ll let you out when you’re finished, but we have to close the doors since it’s now after 8:00 pm. I’ll wait right here so you can get out.”

Customer #2: “But I thought y’all closed at 10:00?”

Me: “Again, I know it’s confusing. We close at 8:00 tonight. Is there anything I can help you find? We really need to finish closing up for the night.”

Customer #1: “Absolutely not! You’re kicking us out!”

Me: “No, miss, I’m not. You were here before we closed. If you know what you’d like, I’d be happy to ring it up for you.”

Customer #2: “This is so rude. I cannot believe this.”

Customer #1: “We are paying customers like anyone else; how dare you kick us out?!”

Coworker: “She wasn’t kicking you out, but now that it’s 8:10 and you’re still squabbling about it, I’m going to have to kick you out.”

Customer #2: “How dare you?! I’m writing a letter to the manager! No, to the state! You’re both getting fired! This store closes at 10:00!”

(The customers left together, without purchasing anything. Once outside they went to take a photo of our posted hours, at which point they noticed that the sign clearly says we close at 8:00 pm on Monday.)

Unfiltered Story #108612

, , | Unfiltered | April 7, 2018

Parking troubles.
My husband has worked for his employer for 20+ years and is currently in charge of ‘shipping & receiving’. I stop to visit, parking in the usual visitor area. A large freight truck has arrived and appears to be having difficulties maneuvering within the allotted space. The driver flies out of the cab, arms flying and begins to yell at me for parking where I did; calling me names and ordering me to move. Rather than possibly have the family car hit by such an inadequately trained truck driver, I move the car. As I approach my husband within the warehouse the truck driver is loudly complaining about some b**** in the parking lot who was in his way. I simply smile, kiss my husband in front of the truck driver and apologize for being late, telling my husband that apparently my usual parking spot is inconvenient for beginning truck drivers. That driver was never allowed on company property again.

Because Not Jogging Equals Mass Shootings

, , , , | Learning | April 6, 2018

(I’m in PE with a substitute teacher. He’s told us all to sit on the floor near him, and he starts talking loudly and angrily. It is the week of the shooting in Parkland, Florida.)

Teacher: “What I’ve seen here is ridiculous. You are all seriously out of shape. It’s not your fault, but this school is the worst school I’ve ever been to, and I’ve been to a lot. You’re out of breath after jogging for just a few minutes?! I’m going to see what I can do to become your permanent teacher, since your current one might have a job somewhere else. This is awful. It’s because of classes like this that people get the idea to shoot up a school. You get the students that no one likes, no one will talk to… PE teaches collaboration, teamwork, and it gets everyone involved. Exercise is necessary for the brain to work. I bet if they looked at that school shooter’s life, they’d see he rarely exercised. Did you see that picture of him? He looks like a kid who’d shoot up a school. People avoided him and ignored him, and look what happened. People who don’t exercise are the ones who go and shoot up schools. I have to say, this class has disappointed me. You deserve better.”

(To make matters worse, that was the first I’d heard about the shooting. For the rest of class, he acted like nothing had happened, so I decided to let it go. But sure enough, the next time he subbed for our class, he went on a similar rant. The whole thing scared me to death, since I’m not able to exercise much due to several medical conditions. Plus, the way he told it made no logical sense and only served to scare the crap out of us. I don’t know what he hoped to achieve with that rant.)


Next Caller Is From The Read Digest

, , , , | Working | April 5, 2018

(I’m having a pint when my phone rings. That’s unusual enough, and the caller ID says that it’s from Jamaica, of all places. Hmm, that’s not suspicious at all. The chances of this being a scam rise to 100% at the caller’s first badly-accented words, but I resist the urge to hang up for a moment.)

Scammer: “Hi. My name is Arthur Winters, and I am calling from the Publish Clearing House company.”

Me: “Can you say that name again?”

Scammer: “Yes. My name is Arthur Winters, and I am calling from the Publish Clearing House company.”

Me: “You mean the Publishers Clearing House.”

Scammer: “What?”

Me: “The company; it’s the Publishers Clearing House.”

Scammer: “Yes, I am from the Publish Clearing House.”

Me: “Yes, dear, but that’s not the name of that company. It’s okay. Come on. Say it with me—”

Scammer: *swears at himself and hangs up*

(Poor guy sounds like he’s going to have a tough time at this.)

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