When That Friday Feeling Starts On Thursday And Never Ends

, , , , | Right | January 27, 2020

(I overhear one side of this conversation between a lady at the front desk of the dentist office and someone calling.)

Front Desk Lady: “Hi, thanks for calling [Dentist’s Office]. How can I help you?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No problem, I can make that appointment for you. That doctor is only in this office on Thursdays, but he is also in [Nearby Office] on Fridays; which office would you prefer?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “Okay. Well, I can set you for an appoint on Thursday the 29th at this office, or Friday the 30th at [Nearby Office]. Which would you like?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, next week is Thanksgiving and we are not taking appointments on Thursday or Friday.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, that doctor is only in this office on Thursdays, and [Nearby Office] on Fridays, so I cannot make you an appointment for earlier in the week. I can schedule you for an appointment on Thursday the 29th or Friday the 30th at [Nearby Office]; which would you like?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, but next Thursday is Thanksgiving, so we will be closed for the holiday.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but the doctor is not in this office on Monday or Tuesdays. He is only in this office on Thursdays and [Nearby Office] on Fridays. Can I schedule you an appointment for the 29th or 30th?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but we are not open next Thursday or Friday because of the Thanksgiving holiday. So, can I schedule an appointment for the 29th or 30th for you?”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “I’m sorry, but the doctor only works Thursdays at this office.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “No, I’m sorry, we aren’t going to be open next Thursday; it’s Thanksgiving.”

(Pause.)

Front Desk Lady: “Okay, I’ve scheduled your appointment for the 29th at [time].”

(The front desk lady hung up the phone. I burst out laughing and so did she.)

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Unable To Put Themselves In Somebody Else’s Paid-For Shoes

, , , | Right | January 23, 2020

(The phone rings and I answer it.)

Customer: “Hello, I bought a few things from your store and thought the total was wrong. When I got home, I checked, and I found that I was charged for a pair of shoes that I never purchased.”

Me: “Um, well, that’s unfortunate. I guess if you come right back, we can–“

Customer: “No, no. I’m already home. I’m not coming back tonight. I just need you to take a note so your manager can refund me when I’m able to come back in a couple of days.”

Me: “I’m afraid that’s not going to happen.”

Customer: “What do you mean?! I have my receipt!”

Me: “Which proves you paid for the shoes. It doesn’t prove that you never got a pair of shoes to begin with. If you come back tonight, before we close, my manager may be able to help you.”

Customer: “No, no, no! I’m already in [Nearby Town, fairly close]. I’m not coming back in tonight. It’s just not going to happen. I just need you to tell your manager that they have to refund me for the shoes I paid for but never got. I’ll come back in two weeks, when I pass through your town again, and get my cash back then.”

(I am a basic employee. My managers are awesome, but there’s no way on earth that I’m going to give a manager an order, much less expect it to be obeyed.)

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t give refunds in cash, ever. Our store plainly states that we don’t give refunds.”

Customer: “But I was charged for something I never purchased!”

Me: “And you’re refusing to come back immediately to fix it. Obviously, the refund isn’t that important to you if you’re not coming back for two weeks. I’ll tell you what; I’ll leave a note for my manager, and you can ask her if she’s willing, but I can’t make any guarantees.”

Customer: “No worries! I’ll bring my receipt as proof! They’ll have to give me the money back if I show them my receipt.”

(I take the customer’s name, reiterate that it’s highly unlikely that she’ll get a refund, and hang up. I tell my manager and she gives me a dubious look.)

Manager: “Yeah, I’m going to thank her for the donation and send her on her way. I’m not giving her money two weeks after the fact when she left the property and can’t prove that she never got the shoes.”

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Unfiltered Story #182295

, , | Unfiltered | January 16, 2020

(I am working at an animal shelter and am watching an “adoption interview” where the dogs and possible new families get to meet and the shelter staff makes sure that the dog is a good fit for the family. In this case, a husband and wife have come in to adopt a dog.)

Wife: “We’re looking for a dog that is kid friendly.”

Staff: “Fair enough. How old are your children?”

Wife: “9 and 13”

Staff: “[My Name], go get Boss for me please.”

(I go get one of the shelter dogs named Boss.)

Staff: *when I come in with Boss* “This is Boss, he’s really sweet and he loves kids. Do you have any other dogs?”

Husband: “No, we have a cat though.”

Staff: “That’s fine, he’s friendly with other animals, he just doesn’t like dogs much.”

(The adopters and Boss get along well enough until I overhear the following:)

Wife: “Maybe going to the dog park will get the kids out of the house.”

Me: “Uh, excuse me, but did you just say you were planning on taking him to the dog park?”

Wife: “Yeah, dogs love dog parks.”

Me: “Not this one. He’ll be fine if you take him for a walk or let him run around your yard, but it’s not a good idea to let him run free near other dogs.”

Wife: “But dogs love dog parks.”

Staff: “Uh, maybe we should find you a different dog.”

(They ended up adopting a different dog who was higher energy than boss but did better around other dogs. Boss got adopted two weeks later by a man who had a 4 acre fenced property and no other dogs.)

Unfiltered Story #182285

, , | Unfiltered | January 15, 2020

Customer: I need to make a return. Your co-worker sold me the wrong thing. I need a product that does [specific function].
Me: Of course. But this product does that exactly. *demonstrates function*
Customer: ….
Customer: What I meant to say was, your co-worker sold me the exact right thing!

Cheap Customers Are A Cancer

, , , , | Right | January 11, 2020

(I work in a thrift store. We get a lot of people who try to bargain with us, but we don’t do that with our products, as we are already consistently lower than the other thrift stores in the area. We have a regular who has tried all sorts of schemes to get us to lower the price.)

Regular: “Oh, I like that [item]. And that one. And that one. Please take those out of the case so I can look at it. That’s awesome, I really want that. Wait, it’s [price] dollars?!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Regular: “You know I just came from the doctor’s, and we got a test done and I might have cancer.”

Me: “Yikes. That’s a bummer.”

(While cancer is serious business, the timing of her mentioning this is suspicious. She wants a thing. Thing is expensive. Now she might have cancer. Hmm…)

Regular: “They’re going to do some more tests to confirm it, but I need to do something nice for myself to keep from flipping out about it and my family’s not being supportive right now so I’m shopping for myself only and they don’t deserve anything tonight.”

Me: “Okay.”

Regular: “Are you sure there’s no wiggle room on that [item]? Because I really like it but I don’t know… It’s not awesome enough to pay that much for it…”

Me: “We look these things up online, and then discount the retail price some 75% to 80%, ma’am. We’re not likely to go lower on it.”

Regular: “Yeah, that’s not true. There’s no way that’s 80% off.”

Me: “That’s the way we price everything, ma’am. Regardless of what we’re selling, our pricing policy is uniform across all the boards.”

Regular: “There’s still no way that’s 80% off.”

Me: “Sorry, but whether or not you believe me, that’s the price we’re selling it for. We don’t further lower prices on things until it’s been sitting around for over 30 days.”

Regular: “Are you sure you can’t discount it to like, [less than 1/3 of the asking price]? Even though I might have cancer?”

Me: “Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the answer, ma’am.”

Regular:My God, you are so heartless! I might have cancer and you won’t even discount something for me!

Me: *in a sickly sweet voice* “That’s right, ma’am! I totally am! Now, will you buy the [item] or shall I put it back?”

(She stared at it for a long time, huffed and puffed, complained some more about how heartless we were for not giving her a might-have-cancer discount, and stormed out without it. The item sold the very next day, to someone who didn’t feel the need to haggle.)

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