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The Oregon Fail, Part 5

, , , , , | Related | May 27, 2022

Years ago, while on vacation in Oregon, we saw a souvenir postcard captioned “Giant Oregon Fir Log”.

My dad glanced at it, did a double-take, laughed, and started naming the men in the photo. It had been taken in our home town… in Washington State!

The Oregon Fail, Part 4
The Oregon Fail, Part 3
The Oregon Fail, Part 2
The Oregon Fail

Maybe It Was Really Pale Lettuce?

, , , | Working | April 29, 2022

My husband and I are pulling through a fast food joint. My preferred order is one of their signature sandwiches that only comes with onions, pickles, ketchup, and mustard.

Me: “Hi, can I get a [sandwich] with just cheese and onion? No ketchup, mustard, or pickle, please.”

The order pops up on the screen correctly and I put in my husband’s order before pulling around to pay and get our food. We check to make sure everything is there, but we make the mistake of not looking more closely at the food until we get home. 

I open my burger to find a patty, cheese… and a handful of lettuce.

Me: “It doesn’t even come with lettuce normally!”

Husband: “What does the tag on the box say?”

I checked it and, sure enough, it said, “Slivered onions only.” I know I should have checked the food but, come on, what part of that looks like “lettuce”?!

Sadly, Their Brain Is Just Syrup

, , , , , , | Right | April 27, 2022

I’m a barista at an independent café. A customer that I recognize comes in; she always orders the same drink.

Me: “Hello! Are you getting your blended mocha with soy milk?”

Customer: “Yes, and this time, I’d like to try it with peppermint syrup, as well.”

Me: “Sure thing! That will be $5.25.”

Customer: “What? My drink is always $4.75!”

Me: “Yes, but this time you are adding an additional flavor, which costs $0.50 extra.”

Customer: “But I always get the same drink!”

Me: “Yes, your usual blended mocha with soy milk is $4.75, but you ordered it with peppermint, which is a $0.50 upcharge, for a total of $5.25.”

She paid with a huff and sat down to wait, occasionally looking up to glare at me. She began to type furiously on her phone.

Sure enough, when I checked our reviews after my shift, she had given us two stars. Her review said, “Their coffee is great! It is frustrating when you come in and get the same drink often but the prices change every time you come in. Makes me not want to come in anymore knowing I could pay more or less depending on how they ring it up that day.”


Some Of Us Are Devolving

, , , , , | Friendly | April 25, 2022

I was walking my mom’s dog through the park near her house one morning. The two of us were heading down the path, minding our own business when a stranger walked up.

He proceeded to ask me if I believed in evolution, then before I could actually respond he started ranting about how someone (I never actually got who this person was supposed to be) had looked at two lizard fossils and they were exactly the same. And something, something, evolution is a fraud! I don’t actually know all of what he said, not only was he shouting, his words were semi-incoherent. He just wasn’t enunciating, it was like he had a mouthful of marbles that he was shouting around.

Now, I actually majored in evolutionary biology in college, but I wasn’t wearing anything indicating that and I have no idea what set the guy off. As far as I knew, I’d never met him before in my life.

But my mom’s dog has a profound dislike of strange men, especially ones who are shouting, so at this point, she went into a frenzy of barking at him with her hackles up. Mom’s dog has never actually attacked anyone, and she wasn’t a large dog, but as aggressive as she was behaving, this guy decided that she might. And to be fair, she might have- I make it a point to never assume that a dog won’t attack.

The upside was that he ran off, presumably to harass more random strangers.

As the dog and I were leaving the park, I saw the guy again, getting into his car. He saw me, shouted something about lizards, and drove off.

Living In Their Own Little Bubbles

, , , , | Right | April 14, 2022

I’m working as a barista. My coworker spots a woman outside who is making her way over to our doors. Before she comes in, my coworker whispers to me that this particular customer often complains about her drinks.

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]! What can I get started for you?”

Customer: “I’ll have a medium latte with extra foam.”

After ringing her up, I begin to make her coffee. The milk steams up beautifully and makes a nice layer of foam on her latte. I’m pleased with how well the drink came out. I hand the woman her order and go back to my station. I glance over at her and notice that she is staring at her drink without taking a sip.

Me: “Ma’am, is everything okay with your latte?”

Customer: “Well… it’s just that when [Owner] makes my latte, there are usually more bubbles in the foam.”

Me: “I’m sorry, would you like me to remake it for you? I can make your latte with even more foam if you would like!”

Customer: “No, the foam is fine, but when [Owner] makes it there are more bubbles.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t want your drink remade? [Owner] isn’t here today, but [Coworker] or I can happily make the latte to your liking.”

Customer: “No, no…” *Sadly takes a sip of her latte*

Unsure of what to do, I tell her that if she changes her mind to please let us know. She eventually finishes her drink and starts to leave.

Me: “Have a good day!”

Customer: *Sighs* “It’s just that [Owner] always makes it with more bubbles…”

Why complain if you won’t let us try to fix it for you? Later, when I spoke to [Owner] about her, he said she always picks something arbitrary to complain about!