Too Many Bad Cooks Spoil The Broth

, , , , | Working | August 14, 2017

(My husband takes a job cooking at a restaurant that has just opened in our small town. The place seems to always be busy when he is working. One day the manager calls him into the office.)

Manager: “We have a problem. Customers have been calling in and asking if you are working and they won’t come in if you are not.”

Husband: “Okay, so you want me to help train the other cooks and bring them up to par?”

Manager: “Well, not exactly. Could you just tone it down a bit?”

Husband: “So, you want me to cook worse instead of them cooking better?”

Manager: “Well, that’s one way of putting it.”

(My husband found another job.)

Caught Him On Tape

, , , , , , , | Learning | August 11, 2017

In my CAD class, we are doing our final. It is a very difficult final and takes a long time to do. Our teacher is an older man who enjoys messing with the student; joking, name calling, etc.

It is always in good humor, and everyone loves his class.

As in every class, we have that one student who is annoying and immature.

One day our teacher decides to “deliver” this student to another teacher, whom he knows well. So he goes to the closet, and comes back with a full roll of AUTOMOTIVE TAPE. Our room is attached to the Autotech garage, so I all the supplies are fairly close by.

He then proceeded to tape this student TO THE CHAIR, a rolling office chair, and once he was taped in, rolled him down the hallway to the other teacher’s room, put him inside, shut the door, and just left.

Both Go Straight To Kidnap

, , , | Related | August 9, 2017

(My 49-year-old mother is living with a man neither of her daughters approve of. He has made horrible impressions on both of us, which only worsens when we learn that he is, A, still married, because, B, his wife is pressing charges of domestic violence and he’s, C, on bail waiting for the trial to start. My sister and I refuse to have anything to do with him and are basically waiting for Mom to realize she deserves better. I am hanging out at my sister’s apartment with her and a couple of her friends. We both get a text at the same time.)

Mom: “Girls, I think I’m pregnant! Have a doctor’s appointment next week to confirm.”

(My sister and I stare at each other in horror.)

Sister: “What if Mom has a baby?”

Me: “What if she has [Boyfriend]’s baby?”

(Mom can’t work and lives on a small disability income. Her boyfriend refuses to pay child support for the kids he has with his soon-to-be ex-wife.)

Sister: “…we have to kidnap that baby.”

Me: “I can’t think of anything better. Tell you what: you fake a pregnancy now and then I’ll raise my fake nephew-slash-real-brother.”

Sister: “I can’t do that to my boyfriend!”

Me: “Well, no-one’s going to believe [Wife] got me pregnant!”

Sister: “We need a better plan.”

Friend: “You really do.”

(Fortunately, my mom’s symptoms were early menopause, so we didn’t have to think of a genuine plan for rescuing our supposed baby sibling.)

Throwing Change Brings About Change

, , , , , | Right | August 8, 2017

(I work morning shifts at a very popular fast food restaurant. As usual, our drive-thru is pretty backed up, and it takes a couple minutes for cars to reach the first window. This exchange happens during our rush, at about eight am.)

Me: “Ok, so your total will be [amount].”

Driver: “Well, here you go.” *hands me three handfuls of change* “You have your work cut out for you!”

Me: “No worries!”

(I start counting the change. He tries to pull forward.)

Me: “Excuse me, but I have to keep you here until I finish counting, to make sure that it’s all here.”

Driver: *condescendingly* “Good luck stopping me.”

(He tries to “poke fun” by pretending to start pulling forward. This happens so often, I don’t even react, because the minute they pull away I can radio the front and tell them not to give him his food until I’m done.)

Me: “So, it looks like you’re actually missing a dollar.”

Driver: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.” *I then make a point of counting his payment again, out loud, showing that he’s a dollar short*

(He mutters a bit and digs around again, with some help from his passenger.)

Driver: “Here. Here’s your f****** money!”

(He then proceeds to throw about $1.16 at me, all in change. Most of it hits m in my face, shoulder, and chest. Luckily I am wearing glasses, so none hits me in the eyes. As it falls to the ground around me, he speeds to the next window.)

Me: “…and you have a nice day, sir.”

(Luckily, a coworker was there and saw the whole thing, so she went and told my manager. My manager parked him, saying that they were waiting on his food. She came out to his car five minutes later with his total payment refunded onto a gift card, and told him that he wouldn’t be getting his food there that day, or ever again.)

Paying It Forward: One Loaf At A Time

, , , , | Hopeless | August 7, 2017

My brother and I are at the grocery store after class, both wearing backpacks and obviously students.

We are looking at bread, and discussing the sale it has, and whether or not we should spend more money to get more bread. Suddenly, a guy in his mid-forties walks up to us and says, “Can I tell you a story?” Being polite, we listen. He tells us a story of how he met a girl in college, and that me and my brother reminded him of a young him and this girl. He hands us $100, and then says, “I’d like to pay for your groceries today, and someday when you’re in your forties, pay it forward and pay for someone else’s groceries.”

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I was with my brother and not my boyfriend! Regardless, guy at a local grocery store in Eugene, my family and I really appreciate your random act of kindness. Of course you know nothing about our life, but know that at that time, getting free groceries was a massive help. Thank you.

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