Don’t Get (La)Cross With The Innuendo

, , , , , | Romantic | April 14, 2019

(I’m not particularly interested in sports, while my boyfriend happens to be an athletic trainer. I have just brought him some fast food to a men’s lacrosse game he is working.)

Boyfriend: “So, do you understand how lacrosse is played?”

Me: “Sure! These boys have to score by handling their shafts while running down the field cradling the balls!”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: “…”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: *smiles sweetly*

Boyfriend: “Butthead.”

Mrs. Grumpy-Cheese And The Attack Of The Muenster

, , , , , | Working | April 13, 2019

(I’ve had a rough day and am making my last stop to grab lunch supplies for the week. I’ve already waited patiently — and politely, I might add — at the meat section of the deli counter so a different associate can fix a troublesome scale. Now I need to get some cheese and I am directed to speak to her coworker. The exchange goes as follows.)

Me: “Hi. Can I get a quarter-pound of Muenster? Please and thanks!”

Worker: *sighs and rolls her eyes* “Ugh, seriously? Can you get something else? That’s, like, the hardest cheese to cut.”

Me: *shocked* “Um, yeah? I’m sorry to hear that, but it’s my favorite cheese.”

Worker: *sighs again and turns to slice my order* “Wait, how much?”

Me: “A quarter-pound?”

Worker: *sighs AGAIN* “So, like, what? How do I slice that?”

Me: *mouth slightly hanging open* “Uh, I guess, like, ten or so slices thin cut? How would I know?”

Worker: *grunts at me and turns back around to handle my order*

(I wait awkwardly, still a little shocked at her attitude, until she finally turns around and weighs out my cheese. It comes out well over half a pound, which I mention to her.)

Worker: “Well, what do you want me to do about it? Just buy it; it’s not my problem.”

(She then wrapped up and stickered the cheese, roughly shoving the slices into a bag so they got slightly crushed and mangled, before walking off, presumably on a break. I was left standing there with my mouth agape and her coworker from earlier silently giving me a look of apology as she handled a line of customers. I feel so bad for you, Ms. Nice Deli Meat Lady, having to work with Ms. Grumpy-Cheese all day.)

Unfiltered Story #146888

, , , | Unfiltered | April 13, 2019

(I’m working the customer service desk when a customer comes up with a window fan and a six pack of beer)

Customer: Hey I want to return this fan, one side is really loud.

Me: Sure, not an issue (I process the transaction)

Customer: Oh and I want to buy this beer too.

Me: Alright (I scan the beer, look at him, he’s fairly young) Can I see some ID?

Customer: Sure (hands over the ID, I notice something wrong)

Me: You realize this ID expired over a month ago right? (I had it back to him)

Customer: Yeah I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me for it. Can I still get it?

Me: (I just take the beer off the counter, and stare at him until he backs away with the money from the return and leaves the line)

Manager who had been standing behind me the whole time: Did he really just try that?

Me: Yep!

Might As Well Have Been Speaking French

, , , , , , | Working | April 11, 2019

(My husband and I are ordering lunch at a soup and salad place. He and I are both standing at the counter, ready to order.)

Cashier: *to me* “Hi. What can I get for you?”

Me: “I’d like the [special] with the tomato bisque and the chicken and bacon cobb salad.”

Cashier: “Okay, the tomato bisque and the chicken pot pie.” *starts to enter it into the system*

Me: “No, the chicken and  bacon cobb salad.”

Cashier: “Oh, sorry about that!” *corrects the order* “Would you like French or multigrain for your bread?”

Me: “French, please.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [price].”

Husband: “I’d like to order, too.”

Cashier: “Oh, I’m sorry. I just assumed you were sharing!”

(Their special comes with half sizes, not an amount of food you split between two people. My husband and I exchange a look.)

Husband: “Can I get the [special] with broccoli cheddar and the three-cheese pesto sandwich, please?”

Cashier: “Okay, that’s [price]. For here or to go?”

Me: *hands him my card* “For here.”

Cashier: *talking to himself* “Okay… to go.”

Me: “No, for here.”

Cashier: *hands the card back* “Oh, for here! Sorry about that.”

(A little while later, they called our order. He gave my husband a multigrain roll. Neither of us wanted to talk to the guy again, so I just gave him mine.)

Unfiltered Story #146054

, , | Unfiltered | April 6, 2019

So i work up front at the customer service desk and as im helping a customer out with a sample, a very distraught woman comes up to me asking if i could do an announcement about her missing keys. *Note: this is the second time ive been asked about the keys* I kindly reply that i cannot do that because of company policy. The woman then turns around and leaves in a frenzy. Not even five minutes later she comes storming up to the desk tells another customer that she’s not alright because Im to selfish to do the announcement, tells me ill never see her again and hands me her business card so i can contact her if the keys are found, then proceeds to turn around and walk away while she’s walking I tell her im sorry and her reply was:
Customer: You’re not sorry! You’re Stupid!

Page 1/3912345...Last