Unfiltered Story #199789

, , | Unfiltered | June 29, 2020

(A customer hands me several coupons)

Customer: You take expired coupons, right?

Me: Um… no.

(That would be why they have dates on them that say when they stop working.)

Meet The Tornado Family

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 29, 2020

I was browsing a pet store for a hairbrush and was the only customer in the store at the time, so it was dead quiet. There was just one employee at the front of the store — the cashier — who happened to be a young girl in her teens.

While I was taking my time looking around, a woman and three young girls charged through the door. The woman started looking at the nearby pet beds while the girls ran around all over the store, screaming and throwing the animal toys at each other. 

Then, they went over to the adoptable cats’ cages and began slamming their hands on the bars, shouting at the cats to come over so they could pet them. The cats were, of course, terrified and started freaking out. The girls got tired of waiting for the cats to come to them, so they went over to the discount bin and started tossing items on the floor.

Suddenly, the mother called out to all of them that it was time to go, and they all left the store. All of this happened in literally the span of three minutes. The mother hadn’t bought anything, she never said anything to the cashier or even watched over the girls, and the whole front of the store was in complete disarray. The cashier and I were so stunned at their behavior that we could only watch in disbelief.

I looked at the cashier and said, “Don’t you just love your job?”

She replied with only a pitiful whimper.

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An Apologetic Customer Is Never Eggs-pected

, , , , | Right | June 28, 2020

I am shopping at the local farmer’s market and my last stop is the stand where I usually buy eggs. The lady who runs the stand is always incredibly patient and nice, and let’s just say I am being an airhead this day.

Me: “Hello. I’d like a dozen eggs, please.”

Farmer: “Oh, I’m sorry. I only have a half-dozen eggs.”

I stupidly think she means she has only half-cartons.

Me: “That’s okay; I’ll just take two of those.”

Farmer: *Hesitates* “Um, no, I mean that I literally only have six eggs.”

She pulls out her last carton, opens it, and shows me that there are only six eggs inside.

Farmer: “The last person only bought six and this was my last carton.”

Me: “Oh, my God, I am so stupid. Sorry about that, and thank you very much!”

I left rather embarrassed, and without any eggs.

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This Student Is Not Paralyzed By Fear!

, , , , , , | Learning | June 28, 2020

I’m in the third grade, about eight years old, and due to birth defects, I have to use a wheelchair. 

Not only am I fairly independent, but I’m a bit of a daredevil. I’m not one to stay on the asphalt playing four square or tetherball; I love the monkey bars.

We have a new teacher as a playground monitor, and she seems to think of me as a delicate flower or something. It’s the first day of school, and at recess, my friends help me wheel over the grass to the monkey bars.

Cue the playground monitor running at full speed, blowing her whistle, and yelling at me to get down before I get hurt.

As she arrives in a panic, we explain that I climb all the time. One of my friends tells her, “Even if [My Name] falls, he’s not going to get paralyzed-er.”

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Weapons Of Mass Dysfunction, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 21, 2020

We sell guns and self-defense supplies, but not “recreational” weapons like airsoft or paintball. Some people don’t understand the difference. On this day, two women carrying an old rifle case come in.

Coworker: “Hey, how can I help you today?”

Woman #1: “We’d like an appraisal on this antique rifle! Found it in Grandpa’s shed.”

Coworker: “We can’t do an official appraisal but I can take a look and tell you where to get more info on it.”

They lay it on the counter and open up the case. My coworker glances at it for a second.

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am, this isn’t a rifle and I doubt it’s antique. This is a BB gun, from the 1970s, it looks like. We really can’t help you here.”

Woman #1: “This is an antique! It was Grandpa’s! It’s a real d*** gun just like those behind you!”

Woman #2: “If this isn’t a real gun, then how’d he shoot squirrels with it, huh? You can’t kill anything with a toy gun!”

Woman #1: “This is bulls***! There’s the same exact gun behind you! You’re discriminating!”

She’s pointing to an antique 1860s Civil War rifle that has no more resemblance to hers than any other rifle would.

Coworker: “I’m sure it’s great for, uh, squirrels, but we’re more of a bear-size store? We don’t even carry the ammo for those things.”

For some reason, this quiets [Woman #1] right down and she packs it back up.

Woman #1: “Aw, well, I guess if you don’t have the ammo, there’s no sense in it. We’ll go try somewhere else!”

They both left, though [Woman #2] was still muttering about squirrels.

Related:
Weapons Of Mass Dysfunction

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