Les Enfants Not-So-Terribles

, , , , , , | Friendly | November 18, 2018

I was flying back home from an event in Florida, and a woman sat down in front of me with a screaming infant. “Oh, this is going to be fun,” I thought.

Right then another woman with an active infant sat down next to me. She looked at the woman in front, then leaned over and said, “I guess this is your lucky day!”

If had been drinking something, I surely would have done a spit-take, it was so funny. That comment alone would have made up for any annoyances due to the babies.

After take-off she found a seat surrounded by fewer people, while the other tyke stayed remarkably quiet through the rest of the flight.

Not The Model Customer

, , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2018

I own a hobby shop that sells plastic model kits, etc. One day a male customer came in and purchased a model of the Hindenburg (1930’s zeppelin).

The next day he returned and asked for his money back. I asked why? He stated when he opened the box it looked nothing like the box art!

I had to explain to him it was a model and that you made it!

A Significant Degree Of Stupidity

, , , , , | Working | November 17, 2018

I work in a coffee shop in a very student-heavy town. We are known globally for the standard of our students. The coffee shop is attached to a bar, so when the cafe closes, the bar opens, and we often clear the bar area in the mornings.

I get assigned a new coworker who is a student at the local university. On his first day, he has his safety talk and induction. On the second day, I have to remind him that taking a tray out of the 200-degree oven with your bare hands is not a good idea, as it will hurt. This lesson has to be repeated every day until it is decided he isn’t safe near the oven.

On the next week, he and I are on opening duties, so we have to clear the bar area. I take all the dregs and put them in a jug; as I am clearing I put the jug on the side. This brain box decides to try and drink the dregs, is promptly sick, and is sent home.

After this and similar instances of brainlessness, he is let go from the company. Can’t say I miss the walking disaster.

Human Goes Missing: No One Notices. Dog Goes Missing: Search And Rescue!

, , , , , , , | Friendly | November 17, 2018

The dog we had growing up was the sweetest, friendliest dog you could imagine. He loved people, and all of our neighbours knew him and loved him back. They didn’t know our names, but they knew our dog.

At one point we needed to move to another state temporarily for my dad’s work, and took the dog with us. Six months later my mum, sister, and I returned home to spend Christmas with our family and ran into one of our neighbours.

He came up to us and said he hadn’t seen our dog for a while, had he died? Mum had to inform him that no, the dog was very much alive, we’d just been living on the other side of the country for the last few months.

They had noticed our dog was no longer around and coming to visit, but none of them had noticed that our house was empty and my family wasn’t living there or going about our daily business.

The Wife Is Telling Porkies

, , , , , , | Right | November 17, 2018

I work as a cashier at a grocery store, and one of our goals is to have fresh meats, so if they are getting less fresh, the manager marks them down. There were some expensive cuts of pork, normally $20 or more for a package, marked down to less than ten, so all day I had enthusiastic customers telling me how excited they were.

One woman wanted hers on a separate order, because she was going to throw away her receipt, pick the label off, and tell her husband it was venison — deer meat — because he didn’t want pork in the house. He was Muslim, and it was against his religious beliefs to eat pork.

I actually have a great work environment, and want to keep my job, so I continued to treat her as I would any other customer, but her disrespect of her husband’s religion disturbed me.

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