At Least You Didn’t Get Mansplained

, , , , , | Working | January 18, 2021

Our cable connection goes out suddenly in the middle of the day, which means we have no Internet or telephone service. I dig out my cell phone and call the cable company, who keeps me on hold for over twenty minutes, constantly telling me I could easily report a problem online.

I’m not sure which is the more annoying: just being on hold or being told to use a connection I don’t have.

A fellow finally picks up the call and I explain the problem.

Representative: “May I have your account number?”

Me: “Can’t you find it by our telephone number?”

Representative: “No, ma’am. We have to have the account number. I can wait if you need to go find it.”

I looked in the file cabinet and rummaged through the pile of papers on the desk, to no avail. I finally told him I’d have my husband call when he got in. After waiting for so long, it was beyond annoying to have to start over, but there was no choice.

When my husband came home, he called the cable company and the woman who picked up found the account — by using the phone number!

Maybe it was his deep voice.

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Deaf To Reason, Part 13

, , , , , | Right | January 16, 2021

I work in the local office of a major pest control company and handle all the usual calls from bills to cancellations.

Customer: “I want to cancel my service.”

Me: “I can definitely help you with that. May I have a reason for the cancellation?”

Customer: “Yeah, the tech never answers me when he’s facing away from me and I try to talk to him!”

I take a more careful look at the customer’s account, specifically who their regular service technician is, and I’m a bit dumbfounded. The customer’s technician is one of two of our techs who has severe hearing loss; this particular tech even has cochlear implants.

Me: “I’m sorry, [Customer], you said that [Tech] wasn’t responding to you when his back was turned?”

Customer: “That’s right!”

Me: “Are you aware that [Tech] is hearing impaired?”

Customer: “I know that! I still think it’s incredibly rude!”

I go straight past dumbfounded to agitated at that, and I say with all the icy politeness I can muster:

Me: “I’m so sorry about that. I’ll make sure your service is cancelled immediately.”

To this day, that is still the most obnoxious disregard for another’s person’s condition I’ve heard from one of our customers, and I hope no one ever tops it.

Deaf To Reason, Part 12
Deaf To Reason, Part 11
Deaf To Reason, Part 10
Deaf To Reason, Part 9
Deaf To Reason, Part 8

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Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 10

, , , | Right | January 14, 2021

I work for a store that sells purely electronics and I’m female.

Customer: “I need to speak to someone in electronics who’s not you.”

I roll my eyes but continue.

Me: “Sure, what is your question?”

Customer: “No I need someone in electronics!”

Me: “Yes, sir. I just need to know your question so I can get you to the right department in the store.”

Customer: “I need electronics! Get me someone who knows what they’re doing. Unlike you.”

I’m done and I drop the Customer Service voice.

Me: “We are an electronics store. It’s all we sell. Without knowing what you need, I can’t help you or get someone to help you. What do you need?”

He sputtered and then hung up.

Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 9
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 8
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 7
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 6
Can’t Hear You Over The Sound Of Your Ovaries, Part 5

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This Is Why People Stay In The Closet

, , , , , , | Working | January 14, 2021

I’m bisexual, but I only tell people if I trust them. I grow close to one girl at my work and decide to tell her. A few days later, I’m working a shift with a male coworker who treats everyone rudely and whom nobody likes.

Male Coworker: “So… [Friend] told me you’re gay.”

Me: *In shock* “Um, no, I’m not gay. I’m bisexual.”

Male Coworker: “That’s basically the same thing; you’re just confused. You’ll find a good man eventually, even with that lip piercing and weird holey ears.”

Me: “What business is it of yours, anyway?”

Male Coworker: “I’m just saying, it’s not natural.”

A few days later: 

Male Coworker: “So, my girlfriend and I were looking to try new things in the bedroom. Do you want to join us?”

Me:No. Don’t talk to me again unless it’s about work.”

Male Coworker: “Come on! It’s not like anyone would want to date you, anyway!”

Me: “So first, I’m unnatural, and now I’m suddenly a hopeless whore? You’re twisted, [Male Coworker]. I wasn’t going to say this, but this is why nobody likes you. You’re conceited and condescending.”

Male Coworker: *Rolls his eyes* “Oh, please. I’m not here to make friends, just to make money. In ten years, I’ll be the manager and you’ll be dead in the streets!”

I talked to the Human Resource rep and the manager and they both spoke to him, but his behavior did not improve. He wound up getting fired for cussing out a gay couple.

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She Missed The Hive Mind Memo

, , , , , | Working | January 14, 2021

It’s been a rather rough week and I want to treat myself to some of Seattle’s finest. I order ahead through the coffee shop’s app for one tall mocha latte so that I can pick it up after my last shift of the week. I get confirmation on the app and go.

I get there and go to the end of the counter for the drink, but there are none. I am confused and wave down a barista. He comes over and I show him the app and explain that I am here to pick up this drink.

Barista: “Are you sure? I thought you would have wanted a grande pumpkin spice latte.”

Me: “No, I ordered a tall mocha.”

Barista: “I don’t think so.”

Me: “Um… Why?”

Barista: “Because you’re a girl in her late teens. Your type always only orders pumpkin spice.”

Me: “…”

Barista: “If this is some sort of scam to try and get a free drink—”

Me: “I hate to be this person, but can I see your manager?”

Thankfully, the manager is understanding and extremely apologetic. I’m not trying to be an entitled brat, but JESUS. I am twenty-five years old and I just wanted a small pick-me-up.

The best part? As I am leaving, I hear the manager ask his barista what he was thinking. The barista replies:

Barista: “Because my girlfriend only orders pumpkin spice! Don’t girls only ever order pumpkin spice?”

I don’t think I will be going back there any time soon.

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