The 1950s Called; They Want Their Misogynist Back

, , , , | Right | February 17, 2018

(I work at an amusement park. I am working at a pitching game when a guest comes up to me. I wear skirts to work, as I find them more comfortable.)

Me: “Hi, sir. How are you today?”

Guest: “So, they put you at this game because you are a girl, and guys will play it just to show off.”

Me: “…”

Guest: “It’s not like you know anything about baseball.”

Me: “Actually, my brother plays baseball, and I’ve been watching his games for the past 13 years.”

Guest: “But you’re a girl. How much do you really know about sports? Not like you play them, or anything. After all, you likely only learned to cook, clean, and take care of a house.”

Me: *blank stare*

Guest: “What? Girls who wear skirts to work are always super religious and traditional.”

The Hippokkkratic Oath

, , , , | Healthy | February 17, 2018

(I work at a detention center, and we are holding two big-name KKK leaders. Both were on TV after their arrest, since they have supposedly attacked one of their own. One of them has to be taken to the hospital for something and he has two male officers escorting him. They are seen in the ER by a tiny nurse.)

Nurse: “Mister… [Inmate]?”

Inmate: “Yeah?”

Nurse: “I see one of your vaccines hasn’t been updated; did you want to take care of that?”

Inmate: “Yeah, why not? The state’s paying for it.”

(The nurse starts humming as she prepares the injection and then proceeds to clean a site on his leg.)

Nurse: “Ready?”

Inmate: “Go for it.”

(The nurse suddenly stabs the needle into his leg, making both the officers cringe in sympathy as the man howls.)

Nurse: “There we go! All done.”

Inmate: “What kind of nurse are you?”

Nurse: “A loving Christian woman who doesn’t judge one’s skin color.”

(It was then that the inmate realized she had seen his face on the six o’clock news.)

That Is “Pretty” Awesome, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(While working a temporary job at a thrift store, I am usually working in the back room, sorting donations. Every so often, I’ll be called out to clean up the floor, as I am one of the few full-time workers. I am sorting the women’s plus-size section.)

Customer: “Oh, hey, could you hand me that black skirt there, right next to the jeans?”

(I oblige and hand her the hanger.)

Customer: *looks at the size tag* “Oh, no, this is too big for me. But it looks like it would fit you.”

(I am a large guy, who sometimes indulges in cross-dressing.)

Me: “Well, thank you, ma’am. Are you sure it’s my color, though?”

(I keep sorting the rack as we talk.)

Customer: *sensing that I’m not joking* “Well, of course. I bet it’d look good with that black and white top in the next row.”

Me: “That sounds like a good mix. There’s just one problem: employees aren’t allowed to purchase items. I’m not sure why.”

Customer: “Well, maybe you can find something similar at another store.”

(The conversation goes on for a little while and when I finish, I see an eight-year-old girl by the books, trying to reach up for a toy on the shelf. As I hand it to her, she asks me this:)

Little Girl: “Mister, do you dress up like a girl?”

Me: “Yes, I do, but not when I’m at work.”

Little Girl: “I bet you’re really pretty.”

(This immediately brightens my mood until her mother steps in.)

Mother: “No, he isn’t. Boys aren’t meant to be pretty. Only girls are.”

(The little girl looks at her mother, back to me, and to the customer I was helping.)

Little Girl: “Mommy’s lying. You would be very pretty! Like a… giant princess!”

Customer & Me: *laughing*

Me: “Thanks, little girl! I’m going to put that on my business card!”

Little Girl: “Okay! Bye-bye, Princess!”

Related:
That Is ‘Pretty’ Awesome

A Beard To Be Feared

, , , , | Working | February 14, 2018

(My boyfriend does some photo modelling on the side to help pay for university, mostly ads or brochures for local businesses. Since beards are currently in high-demand for male models, he’s been wearing a full beard for a few months now. A while ago, he did a photo shoot for a local country hotel, for an ad for their new spa area. Because the date of the photo shoot had to be postponed several times, they offered him a gift card in addition to his pay, which he saved for taking me to dinner on Valentine’s Day a couple of months later. We’re both adequately dressed, but as soon as we arrive, the head waiter gives us a strange look.)

Boyfriend: “Hi. We have a reservation for two today under the name ‘[Boyfriend].’”

Waiter: “Yes, I’m sure. However, there’s a little problem with this.”

Boyfriend: “Okay. What is it?”

Waiter: “You see, today is Valentine’s Day. A lot of people are taking out their wives or husbands for dinner, and it’s a very formal event for us. We’re trying to make this a very special evening for our guests. Because of this, we don’t want our guests to have to put up with… well…” *gesturing a full beard with his hands* “…certain sights.”

Boyfriend: “I see! In that case—” *gesturing ‘wait a second’ with his fingers and taking a stack of advertising brochures from a nearby stand* “—you’d better get rid of these!”

(He unfolded a brochure, and on the first page there was a picture of him relaxing in their state-of-the-art whirlpool. While the waiter turned fifty shades of red, we turned around and left, and instead went to a pizza parlor near our apartment. We had a lovely evening laughing about the ignorant waiter.)

Playing Unfair With The Fairer Sex

, , | Norway | Right | February 8, 2018

Throwback ThursdaysThrowback Thursday!  Here’s an awesome story you may not have seen before.  Has there been a time when a customer has assumed you’re incompetent?  Let us know in the comments!

 

(I provide Internet support over the phone. I am the only qualified technician working today. I also happen to be female.)

Me: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, hello, sweetheart. I didn’t realize I’d reached the reception. Would you please connect me to Internet support?”

Me: “This is Internet support. What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I want help with a technical problem. I can’t talk to you. I want to talk to a man!”

Me: “Sir, I can assure you that I’ll be able to help you with your technical problem. I am the qualified technician here today.”

Customer: “You are a girl! You have no clue how to help me! This is man stuff. I demand to speak with a man!”

(This continues for ten minutes. The customer gets more and more aggravated, and starts yelling nasty comments. I give up, and connect him to my coworker, who sits next to me. My coworker is male.)

Coworker: “Welcome to [Company] Internet support. My name is [Coworker]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Finally, a man! My Internet is so unstable these days; I can’t seem to stay on it! It takes forever to load and the speed is horrible!”

Coworker: “Sir, I see the problem, and I’m sending a report. It will be fixed on Monday.”

Customer: “What?! It’s Saturday! Why do you have to wait until Monday? I want it fixed now!”

Coworker: “Well, we would need a qualified technician to log into the system to fix your line. It’s Saturday, so there is only one qualified technician working.”

Customer: “Get him to fix it now! I demand to speak with him!”

Coworker: “Sir, you have already spoken to her.”

Customer: “Wait. Her?”

Coworker: “Yes. You spoke to our only qualified technician earlier today. You yelled profanities at her, and demanded to speak to a man.”

Customer: “So, I’ll be lucky if my Internet is up again on Monday?”

Coworker: “You’ll be lucky if you have Internet at all.”

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