Oh, My Goddess, It Actually Worked! Part 2
I dress and style myself a certain way that is the opposite of what some people would consider “a nice Christian girl”, but I make sure I don’t wear anything offensive, and I especially tone things down at work. Despite this, I am always getting religious customers who feel I need to be “saved.”
Me: “Your total is [total], ma’am.”
Customer: *Paying.* “Oh, and this is for you.”
She hands me a miniature Bible containing curated scriptures.
Me: “Ma’am, I have explained this to you before. I am not interested. Please save your literature for someone who wishes to receive it.”
Customer: “I can’t do that in good conscience. I need to make sure you’re left with something spiritual to counteract all the… well…” *Gestures to my appearance.* “…all the bad influences in your life.”
I take the miniature Bible and drop it directly into my trash can.
Me: “This is where they all end up, without being so much as glanced at.”
She quotes some scripture about how she has to continue to preach and “spread the Word” or something, and goes on her way.
After several more weeks of her trying to save me (I must have been her pet project) I decide more drastic measures are required. The next week, she once again gets in my lane (she targets me) and tries to hand me more religious literature. I immediately stand up and shout into the store:
Me: “Help! I need an adult! I am being groomed!”
I am nineteen, but she doesn’t know that.
Customer: *Going red.* “What?! I am doing nothing of the sort!”
Me: “Help! Groomer! She’s a groomer! I need help!”
All the nearby customers and coworkers are now staring. One of the customers in the next checkout lane steps over.
Other Customer: *To me.* “Are you alright, dear?”
Customer: “She’s lying! She’s trying to embarrass me!”
My manager has now run over due to the scene being made.
Manager: “What’s going on?”
Customer: “She’s lying! She’s calling me a groomer!”
Manager: *To me.* “[My Name], is this true?”
Me: “She’s been harassing me for weeks now, trying to get me to join her cult. She’s been grooming me with literature and making me very uncomfortable.”
I then produce from my bag all the literature she’s been leaving me for the last few weeks (I haven’t been throwing them away this time).
Manager: *To the customer.* “Ma’am, is this true?”
Customer: “Well, yes, but I’m not a groomer! I am preaching!”
Manager: “This is private property, and we don’t allow other organizations to advertise within the store.”
Customer: “I’m not advertising! I am preaching!”
Manager: “Please refrain from talking to any staff about any matters that are not related to your transaction. Please also stop leaving literature with those who do not ask for it. If you do, you will be banned.”
Customer: *Getting high-pitched now.* “But… she called me a groomer! I’m not a groomer!”
Manager: “Ma’am, please just finish your purchase.”
Customer: “I’m not a groomer! Groomers are pedos and drag queens!”
Manager: “Ma’am, final warning.”
Customer: *To me.* “I tried! I tried to save you! I’ll leave you at the Lord’s mercy now!”
She abandons her groceries and storms out. I reassure everyone around me that I am okay, and I go back to checking out customers. Officially, my manager couldn’t condone my actions, but unofficially, he said it was awesome, and I should have done it sooner.
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Oh, My Goddess, It Actually Worked!