Donating Clear Information

, , , | Right | February 4, 2019

(I work at a popular non-profit tourist attraction in NYC. All of our admission is by donation, so we make sure that we have as many ways to collect donations as possible. The following happens to me several times every day as I sit at the visitor services desk.)

Me: “Welcome to [Tourist Attraction]! All admission is by donation. Donations can be made with me by cash, credit, or [voucher], on your way inside at the cash box, or at any of the credit card machines throughout.”

Guest: “Okay. So, where should we make the donation?”

Unfiltered Story #135116

, , | Unfiltered | December 29, 2018

(Until recently I worked in a popular Tourist spot in Toronto. Most of the people I met were lovely down to tourists- but this guy was one of the most calm and disturbing bigots I have ever met)

Chinese Guy: You are English, Yes?

Me: That’s right yeah

Chinese Guy: I pray for situation there- it get very bad!

Me: I’m sorry, I don’t really follow?

Chinese Guy: Over there, you have too many muslim who make trouble! I grow in Communist China, everyone need Jesus!

Me: Rigghhttt, ok! I don’t really see it as an issue but thanks… I guess

(Then one of his embarrassed looking friends dragged him to the exit. The man look puzzled as to what he had done wrong. Fortunately no other guest were like him)

His Listening Ability Is So Dinky

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(I volunteer at a heritage Narrow Gauge railway in Wales, with tracks on a 1-foot, 11-inch gauge versus the standard gauge of 4 feet and 8.5 inches.)

American Tourist: “Wow! Your trains are so dinky!”

Me: *laughs* “Thanks!”

American Tourist: “You know, our trains in the US are way bigger than these little things. Oh, and we don’t use steam as much anymore!”

Me: “Oh, well, we don’t here in the UK, either. This is a preserved railway.”

American Tourist: “How do y’all cope long distance?”

Me: “Oh, this isn’t our public transport system; originally this hauled freight.”

American Tourist: *wanders away muttering incredulously to himself* “So dinky… d***…”

Unfiltered Story #120915

, , , | Unfiltered | September 12, 2018

(I am with my family for a weekend to celebrate my dad’s birthday. We decide to do a guided tour of a popular tourist attraction. My wife works there but today is her day off. We arrive for the tour and meet the guide, who obviously knows my wife.)

My Wife: *to tour guide* “Hello [guide]!”

Guide: *to my wife* “Hi [Wife]! You’re here with your family then?”

My Wife: “Yes, these are my parents-in-law:” *gestures to my parents* “And this is my husband [My Name].” *gestures to me*

Guide: “Oh hello [My Name]! [Wife] has told me a lot about you!”

Me: “Oh really? Has it all been good? Because if it’s been all good, then it’s all lies!”

(The guide laughs and my wife rolls her eyes.)

My wife (to tour guide): Don’t worry, if he gets annoying just leave him somewhere! *she and the guide both laugh*

Me (to my wife): Hey, come on! You’ve been trying that for 5 years now and it NEVER works! *laughing now too*

My dad: Yeah well, she’s not trying hard enough!

We all laugh. I love my family!

Pretty Pissed In Pink

, , , , , | Working | August 25, 2018

(My boss is one scary lady. She’s strict, no-nonsense, and foul-mouthed. She carries the weight of the entire business on her shoulders and everything always goes flawlessly. We all love her, and at the same time, are religiously terrified of her. A new shipment of uniforms has arrived, and I notice most of the shirts are pink. This is strange because the staff is predominantly male and there are no events that would warrant the color anytime soon)

Me: “So… um, [Boss], what’s with these ones? I don’t think the boys will like them very much.”

Boss: “Kid, I’m going to tell you what I told ’em all: I like pink; go f*** yourselves.”

(And that was the end of it.)

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