Unfiltered Story #120915

, , , | Unfiltered | September 12, 2018

(I am with my family for a weekend to celebrate my dad’s birthday. We decide to do a guided tour of a popular tourist attraction. My wife works there but today is her day off. We arrive for the tour and meet the guide, who obviously knows my wife.)

My Wife: *to tour guide* “Hello [guide]!”

Guide: *to my wife* “Hi [Wife]! You’re here with your family then?”

My Wife: “Yes, these are my parents-in-law:” *gestures to my parents* “And this is my husband [My Name].” *gestures to me*

Guide: “Oh hello [My Name]! [Wife] has told me a lot about you!”

Me: “Oh really? Has it all been good? Because if it’s been all good, then it’s all lies!”

(The guide laughs and my wife rolls her eyes.)

My wife (to tour guide): Don’t worry, if he gets annoying just leave him somewhere! *she and the guide both laugh*

Me (to my wife): Hey, come on! You’ve been trying that for 5 years now and it NEVER works! *laughing now too*

My dad: Yeah well, she’s not trying hard enough!

We all laugh. I love my family!

Pretty Pissed In Pink

, , , , , | Working | August 25, 2018

(My boss is one scary lady. She’s strict, no-nonsense, and foul-mouthed. She carries the weight of the entire business on her shoulders and everything always goes flawlessly. We all love her, and at the same time, are religiously terrified of her. A new shipment of uniforms has arrived, and I notice most of the shirts are pink. This is strange because the staff is predominantly male and there are no events that would warrant the color anytime soon)

Me: “So… um, [Boss], what’s with these ones? I don’t think the boys will like them very much.”

Boss: “Kid, I’m going to tell you what I told ’em all: I like pink; go f*** yourselves.”

(And that was the end of it.)

A Hostage Take Down (The Building)

, , , , , | Right | August 23, 2018

(I work at an observation deck. On very busy days we have long lines to get up to the deck, and occasionally, lines to get down, as well. A customer stomps her way to the front of the exit line.)

Customer: “I need to get down, now!

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Right now there is a line to exit. It moves quickly, though. We do our best to get everyone up and down as quickly as possible.”

Customer: “You can’t do this. You’re holding me hostage!”

Me: “You are not being held hostage. You came here on your own free will; now you need to join the line with these other folks to exit.”

Customer: “I’ll have you arrested.”

(The customer called 911. We could hear her on the phone with the 911 operator, telling them she was being held hostage, but that nobody was injured, no hazmat, etc. Meanwhile, I called security and the police officer who works in the building. My police officer came before hers did, and she and her son were escorted out of the building. Funnily, I was never arrested.)

Literally Screams For Ice Cream

, , , , | Right | August 22, 2018

(It’s been a long day, and I’m already an hour and a half overtime. I’ve been selling ice creams all day, and in the past few hours we’ve been running out. A woman comes up to our counter.)

Me: “Hi there. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “Give me a chocolate.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’ve sold out of chocolate ice cream today. Is there something I can get you, instead?”

Customer: “Oh, f*** it. Really?!”

Me: “Yes, sorry. As you can see, we’ve had quite a hot, sunny day today, so it’s been very busy. If you could please tone the language down? We do have lots of children around, including the one standing behind you.”

Customer: *slamming her fist on the counter* “Oh, f*** off and get me a chocolate ice cream!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are sold out of chocolate ice cream. We do have other flavours, if you’d—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “You’re hiding it from me! Aren’t you!? You a**hole!”

Me: “Sorry, are you going to buy anything today? We are quite busy and there is a hefty queue forming behind you.”

(She stormed off, and my coworker and I were shocked. We talked to our manager, and luckily we were able to find out she was staying at the site, and we kicked her off.)

Your Music Taste Towers Above The Rest

, , , , , | Right | August 13, 2018

(I work at a small museum in a tower. Visitors have to hike about a mile to the building, and then if they want to go to the top of the building, it’s another ten staircases up. One hot day, a group of five people walk in. One visitor is playing “Eye of the Tiger” loudly on his phone.)

Musical Visitor: “PHEW! We made it! Now who’s pumped for the top of the tower?”

Visitor #1: “Oh, my God. Can you turn the music off now?”

Musical Visitor: “Nope! Got to get pumped!” *sees me laughing* “See? She likes it!”

Me: “Yeah, I like it. You’ve got a lot of steps to go now, so you could use the excitement.”

Musical Visitor: “Okay, let’s go!”

(He starts jogging up the steps. Another person in his group, a young woman, pauses at my chair, shaking her head.)

Visitor #2: “You can make fun of him when he leaves; we won’t mind.”

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