The Terrible Twos Are Nothing Compared To The Hateful Eights

, , , | Right | June 28, 2020

I am working at the ticket kiosk for a historic fort. A man walks up to me with two young children and purchases tickets. As he’s doing so, both of us notice that his daughter is pouting.

Guest: “Now, what are you pouting about? We got to go on a cool boat ride, we went to a nice restaurant, and now we’re going to a military fort!”

Daughter: “I hate military forts!”

Me: “Aww. But there’s a lot of neat stuff there for kids!”

Daughter: *Glares up at me* “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

I am taken aback, but I laugh anyway.

Me: “Well, I work there! I would think I would know! There’s a whole building for kids to play in and—”

Daughter: “NO, THERE ISN’T!”

Man: “Come on; let’s go up to the fort.”

As they leave my range of vision, I can still hear the daughter screaming as she walks away.

Daughter: “I hate military forts! I hate this place! I hate this vacation! I HATE EVERYTHING!”

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Enough Issues To Fill A Cavern

, , , , | Right | June 1, 2020

I work as a tour guide for a cavern. This particular day, I am helping the cashier as well as being the base operator for the radios. It’s spring break; naturally, the park is full of people. We’re a day park only and close at six; our last tour goes down at four. Tours are usually an hour and a half long.

I’m ringing up a customer when I hear a frantic radio call from a guide. It’s partially garbled so I have to ask her to repeat a few times. A guest has left her tour and run for the gates. This is a no-no; guests can’t be alone and are only able to leave groups when escorted out. It’s a safety reason and usually, everyone understands.

It’s important to note that once you leave the cave, there is no going back down to rejoin a tour. After you pass a certain point in the cave, there are also no refunds issued.

Twenty minutes later, a woman approaches the register with a child in her arms.

Guest: “Hi, so, we were on [Guide #1]’s tour and my son had to go to the bathroom, but we’re ready to go back down now. We were at [Room far past the refund stop].”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unfortunately, once you leave the cave, you won’t be able to rejoin the tour you left; they are pretty far into the tour now.”

She stares at me like I’m stupid.

Guest: “But he had to go to the bathroom. Would you rather him go on himself? He’s five!”

I point to the rules on the TV behind me.

Me: “I do understand, ma’am; however, the rules here state that once you pass [refund stop], there is nothing we can do.”

My manager, having overheard, comes over.

Manager: “What’s wrong?”

I explain the situation and she’s shaking her head before I finish.

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do at this point. I do apologise, but your tour is almost over as it is, so we won’t be able to send you back down.”

Guest: *Scoffs* “Well, put me on another tour, then! I paid a lot of money and you’re telling me that, because he had to go to the bathroom, he has to suffer! No one mentioned that we couldn’t come back up!”

My manager is shaking her head again.

Manager: “Yes, ma’am, we actually tell everyone at the time they buy their tickets, so my cashier here would have told you. And we make two announcements before the tour starts. There are also signs everywhere. The last tour of the day went down ten minutes ago and there will be no more.”

The woman turns on her heels without another word and storms out the back doors. My manager and I shrug our shoulders at each other and continue on, thinking it’s over.

Almost thirty minutes later, when the woman’s tour comes up, her husband — who had stayed behind on the tour — comes marching to the counter directly to me. He shoves his finger in my face.

Guest’s Husband: “I need to make a complaint!”

He goes off on a rant about how horrible we have been to his wife and that their five year old is so heartbroken. We have ruined their whole day and they want to speak to a manager now.

Me: “Well, sir, your wife spoke to a manager earlier, who told her she couldn’t rejoin the tour.”

Just at that moment, the big boss, even higher up than my manager, appeared next to me and told me to just issue a refund. I resist the urge to bang my head into the desk repeatedly as my manager showed back up. I told her what the big boss said, and she pursed her lips and issued the refund without a smile or any hint of kindness.

She handed him the money and he walked off. She looked like she was about to explode with anger because the big boss didn’t even know the whole story and he just wanted to please the guest.

Later, we found out what had really happened in the cave. Apparently, the woman abandoned her tour and walked herself halfway out of the cave before she came in contact with another tour. The other tour guide wouldn’t let her continue by herself and she ran for the exit, pushing another guest out of her way in the process.

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Unfiltered Story #195796

, , | Unfiltered | June 1, 2020

I’m on vacation with a group tour in Budapest. To tour parliament, you have to purchase tickets for a time (9:00, 10:00 for example), and return to turnstiles. You are then escorted by a guide to a waiting room, and then given a tour. We are waiting at the turnstiles with our guides but the security guard isn’t letting us through.

Guide #1: *To guide #2 who speaks Hungarian* Is something wrong?

Guide #2: Oh no, she just said there are too many people waiting in the waiting room and it needs to clear out a little.

Our group, and everyone else in line, are patiently waiting to be let when I hear a man grumble behind me to his wife.

Man: This is ridiculous. I’m not waiting for this. Look, there’s no wait for that other turnstile.

Next thing I know, the man is jumping over the turnstile that is clearly not in order (there’s no security guard at it and it’s light isn’t green like the other). Keep in mind, this in an active parliament with plenty of Hungarian soldiers protecting their government, and they don’t hesitate to charge the man and push him back. Amazingly, the man doesn’t really back off even when the soldiers with guns are yelling at him and continues to push through.

Security guard: Sir! You can’t go through that way! Go back to your spot in line now.

Luckily for the man, the security guard was able to calm the soldiers down enough for them to let the man to rejoin his wife. But by the look on her face, she looked like she would have been happy to leave.

When The Last Hour Feels Longer Than The Whole Day

, , , | Right | May 29, 2020


Normally, no one comes around after 5:45, so I’m getting ready to close.

Five minutes before ticket sales close, however, a family wanders over to the fort, and a mother and her daughter approach the ticket booth. The daughter wants to go in, but the mother is unsure, so I explain that the fort is still open for another hour, and their ticket will also be good for tomorrow.

Mother: “Okay. We won’t be here tomorrow, but I’ll talk with my husband and see what he says.”

Me: “All right.”

I watch the mother and her daughter head back to the group and then come back with the father. The father walks toward the ticket booth, but he stops once he’s close enough to read the sign displaying ticket prices.

Father: “What?! No! We’re not doing that! Ugh. Let’s go!”

The father, his wife, and his daughter begin walking back toward the rest of the family, but halfway there, the father turns around to glare at me.

Father: “Hey, numbskull, that’s gonna take more than two minutes!”

Me: “But the fort’s still open for another hour!”

The father ignores me and resumes walking back to the rest of his group. They talk for a moment, and I hear one of them yell out.


Me: *Calling back* “The fort’s still open for another hour!”

Person: “YEAH, RIGHT!”

But by this time, I did have to close ticket sales, and the group left. I was a little bewildered at getting my first insult from a customer, but hey, I guess there’s a first time for everything.

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Not Quite A Light-Bulb Moment

, , , , , | Right | May 27, 2020

I work in a historic home that was built in the 1770s. I was giving a family a tour of the home and we started in the passage (entry hall). I was describing to them what furnishings would have been in the room. I then pointed to the hanging lamp above their heads that has lights that look like candles; we are not allowed to use real candles for obvious reasons.

The father, a teacher, looked at me and said, “So, they had electricity.” I was waiting for him to laugh or say he was joking, but no, he was quite serious. So, I had to reply to him politely and without making him feel stupid. I simply replied, “No, electricity came a bit later.”

I then pointed out the lamp and told visitors that it would have been candles and not electric lights.

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