Cooking Up A Sweet Moment

, , , , , , , | Working | January 17, 2020

(At the particular place in the college cafeteria where I like to eat, you tell the person behind the counter what you want, and they circle it on an order pad and hang it up for the cooks to see. The people who write the orders also do the cooking if there aren’t very many coworkers on duty.)

Me: “I’d like a grilled cheese on wheat, please.”

(The cook hesitates and stares at the pad for at least a minute. The longer it goes on, the more panicked he begins to look. After a while, I decide to help him out and point to where “GRILLED CHEESE” is written.)

Cook: *circling my order* “Oh, thank you! One moment, please.”

(He hangs up the order for his coworker and comes back to wait for other kids. Since it’s before the lunch rush, though, I’m the only one there, and I decide to make small talk.)

Me: “Are you new?”

Cook: “Yeah, just started an hour ago.”

Me: “You looked kind of freaked out there.”

Cook: *sheepish* “I’ve heard stories from the others.”

(I can only imagine; just a few weeks ago, a girl threw a tantrum in the middle of the cafeteria because she couldn’t get a vegan grilled cheese sandwich, which this particular cafeteria does not offer.)

Me: “Vegan grilled cheese girl?”

Cook: “Among other things.”

(Now my sandwich is done, and I have to go.)

Me: *waving* “Well, good luck with the job!”

Cook: *waving back* “Thanks! I’m going to need it!”

(About a week later, I run into him during a slow hour; he’s the only one working the kitchen, so that means he both takes my order and makes my food. I order another grilled cheese sandwich before deciding to chat some more.)

Me: “You know what would be really cool? If you guys allowed the option to put vegetables or something on the sandwiches.”

Cook: *grins* “Yeah, that does sound pretty good.”

Me: “Anyway, how’s the job been?”

Cook: *peering at me* “Oh! You’re the girl from last week!”

Me: “Um, I guess so?”

Cook: “Okay, one moment, let me get your food ready.”

(After a few minutes, my sandwich is done.)

Me: “Thanks a lot!”

Cook: “Hey, no problem. It’s always nice to see a friendly face.”

(I took the sandwich and went back to my dorm to eat. When I unwrapped it and bit into it, I discovered that he’d put diced tomatoes and onions in it! Just that little gesture made me tear up a little bit. Thank you, whatever your name is! Your special sandwich was delicious and kept me smiling for the rest of the day!)

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She Stole My Books, Not My Brain

, , , , , | Friendly | January 16, 2020

(I am sharing an apartment with a now ex-friend. We get along well until one day, without warning, she ends up taking around $200 worth of my stuff and selling it off so she can have some pocket money. I am, naturally, really upset with this. The police get called, and we recover about two-thirds of the stuff, and she ends up being required to pay the difference. Among the stuff we manage to recover are a few older books that were a gift from my late grandfather, which were the things that I was most afraid to lose. After this, I cut ties with that friend very thoroughly. However, we have mutual friends that still are in contact with each other. I never tried to force them to cut ties with her or anything, but I likewise never shied away from being up-front about what she had done.)

Mutual Friend: *via text* “Hey, [My Name]. Do you have a copy of [Book]?”

Me: “Yeah. I have the whole series.”

Mutual Friend: “It’s a series?”

Me: “Yep. It’s really good.”

Mutual Friend: “Cool. Hey, can [Ex-Friend] borrow it? We were talking, and she mentioned how much she enjoyed it when she was living with you.”

Me: *kind of shocked at what I’m reading* “Are you kidding me?”

Mutual Friend: “What?”

Me: “She stole from me! This was one of the things she tried to steal! Why would I ever lend it or anything to her?”

Mutual Friend: “Oh. Well, that was a while ago, though.”

Me: “No no no no no no no. I am not lending her anything.”

Mutual Friend: *after about twenty minutes of silence* “Could you lend me the book?”

Me: “Are you planning to turn around and hand it to her?”

(Total silence after that, and that particular mutual friend is now looking like another ex-friend, as she has stopped speaking with me. Sooo sorry for being defensive after being burned by a thief in the past.)

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If Spiderman Was Deadpool

, , , , , , , | Learning | January 13, 2020

This is a story my dad told me from when he was a college freshman in the late ’80s. Apparently, my uncle, who was still in high school, had gotten himself a pet tarantula around that time and had it in some sort of cage-type setup in their kitchen.

One day, not long before spring break, my grandmother was tasked with feeding it and, naturally, the tarantula jumped out of its cage and fled right into a sink filled with dishes and soapy water and died. 

When my dad came home not long after, he ended up taking the tarantula’s corpse and shellacking it to a piece of wood in a way that made it look like it was still alive. He then brought it back with him to school a few days earlier than he’d initially planned. During those few extra days, he put up several “Missing Pet” signs for it all over campus. 

As people in his dorm started returning, he would sneak the dead tarantula into their rooms while he pretended to help them with their luggage, and, since this wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, they never suspected anything until they ended up finding it. He told me he lost count of how many people he pranked in his dorm before word got out of what he was doing.

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Unfiltered Story #182271

, , , , | Unfiltered | January 13, 2020

(I worked at a local community college bookstore a few years ago. During a work day on first week of the new semester at the local college’s bookstore, I noticed a rather heavyset bearded customer who appeared to be in his mid-20’s sitting in the aisle copying problems from a math textbook. I did not have the authority to tell the customer to cease his activity, so I continued my other duties. About an hour later, the customer was still sitting in the same area copying problems from the textbook. Another co-worker asked me if I noticed the customer, and I said that I did, but I did not have the authority to tell him to stop, so we agreed to get our supervisor to deal with the customer. I expected an argument to unfold, but never did I expect this:)

Supervisor (walks up to customer): “Excuse me, sir, but this is not a library.”
Customer: “I’m just copying down the problems from the book and I will do this at home. I cannot afford the book.”
Supervisor: “You have to buy the book. This is not a library.”
(customer starts to literally FREAK OUT)
Customer: “I WILL FAIL MY CLASS BECAUSE OF YOU! I WILL DROP OUT THE CLASS BECAUSE OF YOU!”
Supervisor (remaining calm): “You still have to buy the book.”
(The customer starts throwing a tantrum at this point)
Customer (getting on his knees and pounding the floor with his fists): “YOU ARE A MONSTER!!!” *sob sob*
Supervisor: “I am sorry, but this is not a library.”
Customer: “I WAS ONLY GOING TO COPY THE PROBLEMS AND DO THEM AT HOME!!!”

The customer then runs out of the store, huffing and puffing and sobbing.

Hopes They Can Someday Change

, , , , , , , | Working | January 9, 2020

I wasn’t here for this one but it was too funny not to share and my boss showed me the pictures.

It was closing one night and my boss was helping out some newish workers with closing, showing them the procedure to shut down the register and everything. 

We always start off the day with $300 in the till. Lots of coins, some 1s, 5s, 10s, and 20s, a good variety to start off the day, you know?

So, after watching them count out the register and compare it to the totals in the system, he told them to leave $300 in the till for the morning. He then left them to it so he could finish out a few things himself, thinking the situation was in good hands.

The next morning he came in before closing and, like always, went to grab the deposit bag. But today he noticed that the deposit bag was very, very heavy and jingled a lot. After a second, he realized what may have happened but checked the till.

Sure enough, the till for the register was completely empty except for three 100 dollar bills. 

He had to take a picture of it; thankfully, he saw the humor in it, though he certainly didn’t enjoy sorting through all the coins. We did explain to the new workers that starting off the day with just three one-hundred-dollar bills is not a good idea.

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