What Subject Do You Teach? Just Curious.

, , , , | Friendly | January 12, 2021

I am in college and I’m trying to find a parking spot. Once I find one and park, a lady in the car in front of me swings her door open and starts yelling at me.  

Lady: “You hit my car!”

Me: *Calmly* “No, ma’am, I did not.”

Lady: “Yes, you did! Do I need to get the police involved? I will call them. You’re going to make me late to the class I have to teach!”

Me: “You are welcome to call the police if you feel the need to, but I can assure you that I did not hit your vehicle.”

Lady: “Oh, yeah?! How are you so sure?!”

I point to the cement post for the streetlight directly in front of my car.

Me: “Because if I had, my front bumper on the passenger side would be completely smushed in.”

The lady realizes there’s no way I could have actually hit her car.

Lady: “Well… I… Uh… Well, I guess since there’s no damage to my car, I’ll leave it this time and won’t call the police.”

She walked off toward the building and I moved my car to a different area just in case.

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Unfiltered Story #223018

, , | Unfiltered | January 12, 2021

My friends and I had just come in from a night out, and a bunch of them head to the sub shop on campus. I headed back to my dorm first to drop off something, and decided to grab a can of pop to drink on my way to meet them. As we were heading back to our dorm with our sandwiches, I proceeded to discard my can into a big trolley that we had been told was for recycling while they were awaiting for bins to be delivered. Shortly afterwards, a girl comes up to me and I think she’s a friend of a friend at first.

RA: All right, so it was you who had the open can of alcohol. What’s your name?

I then notice the notepad in her hand and realize she is an RA about to write me up.

Me: No, I had a can of pop that I was drinking.

RA: I know what I saw, you had an open can of beer.

Me: Uh, no. I’m sorry, it was a can of Diet Coke. I can show it to you if you want?

RA: Yes, lets go back and see it.

Me: *thinking* seriously? *saying* Fine.

The whole walk back she was super smug and I think she thought I was too drunk to realize what I was drinking. Joke was on her, because, when we got up to the trolley, my can of Diet Coke was the only one there and I proudly pointed at it. I saw her face turn red but she was determined to write me up for something.

RA: Well, you shouldn’t discard your trash in there. That’s very rude and disrespectful, this isn’t meant for recycling.

Me: Oh, I’m sorry, I was told we were supposed to put any recycling in there until the shop received their new recycling bins from the university. Did they get their new bins?

RA: What are you talking about? They’ve always had recycling bins. They’re right….

That’s when she realized there weren’t any around, and talked to the staff at the shop to confirm the trolley was to be used for recycling. I offered to remove the can if it was a problem, but the death stare she gave me just told me to let it go.

Welcome To The 1950s!

, , , , , | Learning | January 11, 2021

I’m a female senior in college, and I’m majoring in a business-related field. I’m in a human resource management class. We’re learning about Title VII in the workplace.

Professor: “Any questions so far?”

A male student raises his hand. Our professor nods at him.

Guy #1: “Can we just admit that there are some jobs women shouldn’t do?”

All us girls start to protest. The professor shushes us.

Professor: “Not yet, ladies. Explain your reasoning, [Guy #1], and then I’m opening the floor for discussion.”

Guy #1: “Like, women should be nurses and kindergarten teachers and stay-at-home moms and s*** like that. There are some jobs they should leave for men, that are traditionally done by men.”

Every girl in the class is waving her hand in the air frantically. The professor points at me.

Professor: “All right, we’re gonna have a discussion. [Guy #1], remember that you started this. [My Name], thoughts?”

Me: “We’re all business-related majors here, right? Business is a field normally dominated by men. Look around. Half the class is female. Are you saying that we should not be here?” 

Guy #1: “No, of course not. Women can be in business, but not as, like, managers. That’s a guy thing. We need administrative assistants and crap like that.”

Our professor groans and facepalms.

Me: “See, that’s faulty logic, and a violation of federal regulations. Women can be in business, but not as managers? Anyone else wanna jump in here?”

Girl #1: “I will! So, [Guy #1], according to you, we should just toddle off to a stereotypical ‘female’ job?”

Guy #1: “That’s not what I said!”

The room erupts.

Girl #2: “OH, YES, YOU DID!”

Guy #1: “Okay, but I didn’t mean it like that.”

Girl #3: “Do you seriously think you’re gonna survive in the workplace with an attitude like that?”

Me: “What are you gonna do if you have a female manager? Tell her she’s not supposed to be there? I’d love to see that!”

[Guy #1] turns to [Guy #2], who is a friend of mine.

Guy #1: “[Guy #2]! Help me!”

Guy #2: *Laughs* “Nope. [My Name] got you. You’re screwed.”

Guy #1: *Whines* “Dr. [Professor]! Tell them to stop!”

Our professor has her hands over her face. I can’t tell if she’s shaking her head or laughing. Finally, she motions for quiet.

Professor: “[Guy #1], this is a Human Resources class. What you said today violates multiple federal regulations. You keep talking like that when you enter the workforce, you will not be employable, and your name will be in an HR lawsuit. Got it? Good. Now, let’s move on…”

[Guy #1] scowled and didn’t say a word in class again for a week.

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Irritable Buddy Syndrome?

, , , , , | Friendly | January 5, 2021

I am not deaf, but my mother is. Both she and my hearing father taught me sign language from an early age. When I start university, [Housemate #1] finds this out, and I teach her some basic signs.

About a month into the first term, [Housemate #2] comes running up to me after I get home late.

Housemate #2: “[My Name]! I heard from [Housemate #1] that you’ve been teaching her IBS!

Me: *Very tired* “I’m… sorry?”

Housemate #2: “Could you teach me some? I’m a quick learner!”

Me: “Teach you some…”

Housemate #2: “IBS!”

Me: “I don’t… What?”

[Housemate #2] is getting steadily more irritated.

Housemate #2: “IBS! I-B-S! I… B… SSSSS!”

[Housemate #1] comes racing down the hallway toward us.

Housemate #1: “BSL! SHE MEANS BSL!”

Housemate #2: “Wait… What was I saying?”

She actually ended up being quite a quick learner, as promised, and when my parents visited, she was able to talk to my mum quite well! I still sometimes tease her by asking her if she’s practiced her IBS.

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We’re Guessing It Wasn’t Anatomy Class

, , , , , | Learning | January 4, 2021

I’m walking behind two guys toward the sunrise after an 8:00 am class one day.

Guy #1: Man, the sun is really bright.”

Guy #2: “Yeah, it feels like it’s burning my rectums.”

Guy #1: “Yeah.”

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