Burst His Kentucky Fried Bubble

, , , , , | Working | January 16, 2020

(I have just moved more than halfway across the continent for a temporary job. No matter what, I will be leaving this city after two months. Because I am so far from home, there are no locations of the regional grocery store I typically use, so I have gone to a local chain. I am checking out.)

Cashier: “Do you have a rewards card?”

Me: “No.”

Cashier: “Would you like to sign up for one?”

Me: “No, thank you, not today.”

Cashier: *forcefully* “And why not?”

Me: “I just don’t usually shop here.”

Cashier: *indignant* “Well, where do you shop?”

Me: “Um… in Kentucky?”

(I went to this store several times during my stay, and the cashier always seemed upset that I wasn’t a member.)

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Even Clear Labelling Doesn’t Work

, , , , , | Right | January 16, 2020

(I work in a call center for a clothing store. A customer calls and gives me a very long-winded description of how we made an error on her previous order and reshipped it and included a prepaid return label to send the error back. When her elderly husband went to the post office to return the item, he forgot the label, and instead of returning home to get the UPS label we sent and returning it to the correct shipping company, he just paid $20. Now she wants us to refund that.)

Me: “Yes, um, no. We did everything we could to alleviate the error but the prepaid label should have been used.”

(We negotiate lower rates with some carriers and don’t pay for stupidity.)

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Diary Of A Freelancer  

, , , , , , | Working | January 15, 2020

Friday Morning: “Congratulations, you passed the phone interview. You start on Monday!”

Friday Afternoon: “No, wait, we want to have another phone interview on Monday, instead.”

Monday Morning: “Congrats, you passed the second phone interview. We want you for an in-person interview tomorrow. We’ll phone you by this afternoon with a time to come in tomorrow.”

Monday Afternoon: *nothing*

Tuesday: *nothing*

Wednesday Morning: “Hi, can you come in for an in-person interview in two hours?”

Wednesday Noon: “Congratulations, you passed the in-person interview. You start tomorrow.”

Wednesday Afternoon: “Sorry, we caught up on our backlog of work and don’t need you anymore. But if we do need you, would you be willing to be on call?”

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Dogs Reveal All Truths

, , , , | Romantic | January 9, 2020

(This story was told to me by a friend of mine who works as a technician in a vet clinic. I asked her to tell me about some of the craziest experiences she’s had, and even though she has dealt with a lot of outrageous customer scenarios, this one surpasses them all.)

Customer: “My dog has been acting strange and vomiting, and I’m not sure what’s wrong.”

Vet Tech: “Don’t worry, ma’am, we’ll examine him and figure out what’s going on.” 

(They end up having to do an x-ray of the dog. Sometime later…)

Vet Tech: “Well, ma’am, it seems your dog has eaten something that he cannot digest. We can see a foreign body on the x-ray, but we can’t tell what it is. We will have to remove it for the dog’s safety.”

Customer: “Of course, do whatever you have to. I just can’t imagine what he could have eaten. He’s not usually interested in eating anything he shouldn’t around the house.”

(The vet goes ahead with the operation, and everything goes well. While the dog is recovering, the technician goes to tell the customer about the foreign object they removed.)

Vet Tech: “Good news, ma’am; your dog is doing just fine. Here’s the object we removed.” *embarrassed pause* “It seems to be a pair of your underwear.”

Customer: *much longer embarrassed pause, staring at the underwear with a strange look on her face* “Those… aren’t mine.”

(The dog made a full recovery, but the customer’s relationship with her boyfriend did not! What a way to find out about a cheating significant other.)

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Blame TV, Where All Teenagers Are Played By Thirty-Year-Olds

, , , , , | Right | December 17, 2019

I am using a computer in a public library. Another patron, roughly fifty feet away from me, is leaving the building. I am paying no attention to her and am silent, as I’m using the computer. The room is also pretty quiet, until the patron suddenly speaks loudly and angrily, saying, “I’m going to smash some teenagers on the floor here!”

I look up to see if some kids are causing a problem, or if she is harassing kids without cause. There are no kids around her or anywhere else in the room. As I try to figure out who she’s talking about, she catches my eye, glares at me, points at me threateningly, and then walks out of the library. I am 29.

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