The Opposite Of A Cone Of Silence

, , , , , | | Right | July 7, 2019

(I work at a confectionery shop. It is one of the first gorgeous days of summer, so we are packed, especially at the gelato counter. We make our own waffle cones but have run out, and my coworker and I are making them as fast as possible to order. I have this exchange with a female customer:)

Customer: “Can I get a scoop of pistachio in a waffle cone?”

Me: “Sure thing. Just to let you know, our waffle cones are being made to order right now as we catch up; it will a couple minutes and the cone will be warm so your gelato will melt faster.”

Customer: “Oh, yummy! That sounds great!”

(While we’re waiting, I scoop for a lot of other customers who aren’t waiting for cones and the woman keeps interjecting to make chit chat with me:)

Customer: “Do you have bacon ice cream?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we only carry [Local Brand] gelato and I don’t believe they have a bacon flavor.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, the shop near my house in [Town] has a bacon ice cream, and it’s delicious. You have to try it.”

(Whenever the customer refers to [Town], she stresses it as if it were an exclusive, private community. It just so happens to be where my boyfriend lives and I know exactly the shop she’s talking about.)

Me: “Oh, you’re talking about [Ice Cream Shop]? My boyfriend lives right by it; we walk there a lot. I’m a fan but also a vegetarian, so I’ll have to take your word for it on the bacon.”

(The customer gives me a raised eyebrow about being a vegetarian and continues to tell me all about the neighborhood, dismissing anytime I acknowledge that I’ve been somewhere she mentions, and then makes another comment about the ice cream shop she previously mentioned.)

Customer: “You know, they make their own cones at my shop in [Town]. I’ve never had to wait this long.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we’ve been making cones all morning to meet the demand on this gorgeous day.”

(Finally, her cone is ready and I let her know. My coworker passes me the waffle cone and I scoop her gelato. This all takes place while the customer is watching, and I pass it off to her.)

Customer: “What are you trying to pull!?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “This cone is warm; my ice cream is cold.”

(My coworker and a couple of other customers who’ve been waiting on waffle cones all let out a laugh because the situation had been clearly explained and demonstrated to this customer. She huffs toward the door, stops, and turns back to us.)

Customer: “It’s. Not. Funny! STUPID IDIOTS!”

(The customer then huffed away, slamming shut the door that had been propped open behind her, and I had a good laugh about it along with my coworkers and the other customers that had been waiting.)

Unfiltered Story #156829

, , , | | Unfiltered | July 3, 2019

Me: *organizing a stack of box fans*
Customer: Excuse me, where are your fans?
Me: They are right here.
Customer: Oh, thanks.
Manager: *laughs from around the corner* Did that just happen?
Me: Yeah, wow.

Thinking Outside The Box By Leaving Them Outside

, , , , , , | | Right | July 1, 2019

(I work at an entertainment facility that often hosts kids’ birthday parties. We offer party rooms and activities, but we do not provide childcare and never have. Whenever a customer makes a reservation, it’s clearly stated on the form they sign that children under 13 must be accompanied by at least one adult at all times. One Friday afternoon when we are slammed with customers, a mother comes up to me in our lobby area with her son who’s nine or ten years old.)

Mother: “We’re here for [Child]’s birthday party.”

Me: “Welcome! That’s great! That party actually starts in about one hour, so—”

Mother: “Oh, I know. I still have to go pick up my daughter, so I’ll just leave my son here for now.”

(I gesture to our lobby, which is open to the public and currently full of people coming and going every which way, trying to help her notice. When that doesn’t work, I try to think of the most professional way to make this woman realize that she would be crazy to leave her son there alone.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but all of our employees are busy helping other customers right now. There would be no one available to watch your son.”

Mother: “Oh, that’s fine!”

Me: *thinking she finally came to her senses*

Mother: “He doesn’t need watching!”

Me: *shocked, and wondering how I can make this more obvious without offending her* “Uh… well, it’s really up to your discretion, ma’am, but we are not certified to provide childcare and none of us are trained to—”

Mother: *angrily* “You don’t get it! You don’t have to do anything! I’ll just leave him here and he’ll be fine!”

Me: “Ultimately, the decision is yours, but we care very much about everyone’s safety at [Company], and I just don’t feel it would be a good idea.”

Mother: “Ugh! FINE!”

(She grabs her embarrassed son by the hand and literally drags him out the door. Thinking the problem has been resolved, I go back to helping our many other customers, until my coworker arrives for the start of her shift about twenty minutes later. Keep in mind it is January and literally freezing outside.)

Coworker: “Hey, did you know there is a little boy standing in front of our building?”

Me: “What?! Oh, no!”

Coworker: “Yeah, I just let him borrow my phone, because he wanted to call his mom and ask her why she hadn’t come back yet.”

Me: “Oh, my gosh! Is he okay?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I asked him if he wanted to come and wait inside, and he said he wasn’t allowed to! What’s going on? What should I do?”

Me: “You’re not going to believe this.” *relates the story to her* “So, I guess when I told the mom she shouldn’t leave her son inside, she took me literally and left him outside!”

(My coworker kept an eye on the boy and made sure he was okay, despite our being short-staffed and not technically allowed to watch other people’s children. His mom finally came back, another THIRTY MINUTES later! She glared daggers at all of us and continued to shoot us dirty looks all afternoon every time we had to walk past where she was sitting. Fortunately, the little boy did have a fun time at his friend’s birthday party! I hope things got better for him. Since then, we have put up more signs to notify customers that adult supervision is required at all times.)

Unfiltered Story #155584

, , , | | Unfiltered | June 30, 2019

(I work at a Department of Licensing office, where we are required to check ID for pretty much everything. This woman comes in wanting to renew her license plate tabs, and I ask for ID, this is the conversation that ensues.)

Customer: *hands me a credit card with a photo on it.*

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, I need a photo ID card to do this for you.

Customer: “That is a photo ID. It has my photo, it has my name, its a photo ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, this is a credit card, not a legal ID card, I can’t accept it. Do you have a state ID, military ID, or passport? Any of those are acceptable.”

Customer: “That is an ID, it has my photo and it has my name, it’s an ID. Just give me my stickers.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t without photo ID. State, military and passport are the only ones that qualify.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, this has my name, it has my picture, why won’t you take it?!”

Me: “Because they would fire me. That is not a photo ID, it’s a credit card. I can’t accept it as ID. Please come back with a drivers license, state ID or passport.”

(the customer leaves in a huff, gets into her car and drives away. The next person in line steps up to me.)

Customer #2: “Sooo, if she doesn’t have her drivers license with her… but she drove here?”

Me: “Yep! Happens all the time.”

He’s Just Blowing Hot Air

, , , , , | | Right | June 21, 2019

(I work the till at a marine supply store that sells almost everything a boater could ask for. We get a lot of regular customers that many of my coworkers and I know by name. It’s late in the day, so it’s a little slow, and it’s just me and two other coworkers at the registers. A customer I’ve never seen before comes over to my coworker’s register with about $300 worth of product. She begins to ring him out and while he waits, he walks over and picks up a can of electronics duster — compressed air. He proceeds to spray the can of air into his hand for a good, long spritz and then places it back on the shelf.)

Me: “Um, sir, I think you need to pay for that since you just used it.”

(Both my coworkers simultaneously agree with me.)

Customer: “Oh, I was just checking the air pressure. Don’t worry about it.”

Me: “Okay, but you could have asked us about that, instead of spraying a good amount of the can into your hand. We can’t sell that now that you’ve used up a good bit of it.”

Customer: *irritated* “Like you would know what the air pressure would be like when I sprayed it.”

Me: “No, but we have our own cans. You could have asked us first before you wasted one that we can no longer sell. You really should pay for that since you used up a decent amount of it.”

Customer: *irritated and acting like he owns us because he’s spending lots of money* “I’ve been shopping here for twenty years; besides, I’m buying a few hundred dollars’ worth of your stuff. I can just leave here and not buy any of it!”

Me: “Okay, then you should be able to afford that $8 can of air you just wasted!”

(The customer begins to turn red and looks about like he’s ready to explode. My manager, after overhearing the entire conversation, quickly interjects by taking the can of air from the guy.)

Manager: *while walking away* “I’ll take care of this; just get him rung up.”

(The customer stands there, red-faced and angry, while my coworker finishes up his order. All the while, my other coworker and I glare at him. He notices my coworker giving him her best and scariest glare and quickly puts his head down for the remainder of his transaction. Once he’s been rung out, he quickly and quietly leaves.)

Coworker #2: “That guy was such a narcissistic a**hole.”

Coworker #1: “Yeah, he said he’d been shopping here for 20 years, but I’ve never seen him before and he didn’t even have an account with us.”

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