Totally Estúpido! Part 19

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2021

I work for a large national retail chain. Some of our PIN pads will swap into the Spanish language when asking for a PIN.

Customer: “It says, ‘Introduce tu PIN.’”

She pronounces this intentionally poorly.

Me: “Yes, we know; it’s a glitch where they switch into Spanish.”

Customer: “I’m not f****** Spanish!”

Me: *Seizing an opportunity to call her out* “No, but the two ladies behind you are; perhaps you can ask them for help.”

Totally Estúpido! Part 18
Totally Estúpido! Part 17
Totally Estúpido! Part 16
Totally Estúpido! Part 15
Totally Estúpido! Part 14

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Rejecting Vegetarianism Is The Cherry On Top

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2021

I work for a grocery store in the pickup department. Sometimes, we’re out of a product a customer wants, and when that happens we try to substitute a similar item. The customer can then accept or reject those substitutions.

We are out of non-organic cherries so I substitute organic cherries. The customer rejects this substitution. Okay, maybe the customer doesn’t know that we price match; that happens sometimes. Nope.

The customer calls in with an unrelated question and I bring up the cherries.

Me: “I saw that you rejected the substitution of organic cherries. I just wanted to let you know that we price match, so you would be getting the same thing for the lower price. Would you like the cherries?”

Customer: “No, I like meat.”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Organic means vegetarian. I’m not a vegetarian. I like meat.”

I tried to explain but the customer still didn’t seem like she understood, and she rejected the cherries in the end.

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More Like A Bemusement Park

, , , , , | Legal | April 23, 2021

My job is making change so people can play amusement park games. It’s a slow night, and a big, tall man comes in.

Me: “Hello, sir. Do you have any questions about the game?”

The customer says nothing and moves into my personal space. I back up.

Me: “You use your quarters to push quarters off the end of the board, and it gives you one ticket for each quarter.”

The customer moves into my personal space again, looming over me. I put my hands in my change apron.

Me: “The tickets can be traded for prizes—”

The customer shoves his hand into my right apron pocket. I grab his wrist and squeeze.

Customer: “Let go of my hand!”

Me: “Your hand is in my pocket. Now open it up, and we’ll move it out of my pocket slowly.”

I squeeze more tightly for emphasis. His hand comes out, and he’s not holding anything.

Me: “Good. Now either you can leave, or I can call my boss and you can try explaining why your hand was in my pocket.”

He chose to leave. I was left to wonder why somebody so big went for trying to pick my pocket, and why he didn’t at least take the time to figure out that I kept bills in the LEFT pocket.

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It’s As Easy As Learning To Eat A Burger

, , , , , , , , | Right | April 22, 2021

I work at a bicycle store. A man about a decade my senior comes in asking for yellow handlebar tape. I show him our selection, which includes a bright yellow. He happily grabs some and explains that he is making a “hamburger bike.” 

His bike’s frame is dark brown — the beef patty. The pedals and helmet are lighter brown, for the bun. His tires are bright green, for lettuce; his seat is darker green, for the pickles; his red rear reflector and white front reflector are ketchup and mayonnaise, respectively. The yellow handlebar tape is to be mustard.

While I am confused why he’s decided that “burger” was the perfect aesthetic for a bicycle, his excitement is contagious. He goes on to tell me that he needs orange for cheese; yellow or white would be redundant, you see. I dig around in an order of new stock and find him an orange water bottle and holder that he can screw to his bike frame.

With his hamburger (or cheeseburger, now, I suppose) bike thus perfected, he rides off a happy man. If only every customer were so pleasant and easy to please!

This story is part of our Feel Good roundup for April 2021!

Read the next Feel Good roundup for April 2021 story!

Read the Feel Good roundup for April 2021!

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Can I Return This Judgy Cashier, Please? Part 2

, , , , , , , | Working | March 17, 2021

I’m the author of this story. It seems this runs in the family!

My mom just told me about a time she was at the grocery store with my brother when he was a baby. Included in her purchases were a loaf of bread and a few jars of baby food.

Cashier: “Hmm, baby food. You know, it’s a lot better to make your own. Cheaper, too.”

My mom is bouncing my brother on her hip as she responds.

Mom: “I guess. I’m excited to have him try these foods.”

Cashier: “I mean, it’s just a better choice all around to make your own. It’s not like it’s hard.”

Mom: *Rolling her eyes* “Okay, then. I’m ready to pay.”

Cashier: “That’ll be [price way higher than Mom expected].”

Mom: “That… seems a little high.”

Cashier: “Your total is [same price].”

Mom: “Can you print out the receipt for me to check it?”

The cashier prints out a receipt, which my mom studies.

Mom: “You charged me for twenty-three loaves of bread when I only have one.”

Cashier: “Um, oops…”

Mom paid the correct total, and my brother survived just fine on the food Mom fed him, jarred or not. And she still keeps an eye on receipts and totals in case someone’s too busy judging her to properly ring her up.

Can I Return This Judgy Cashier, Please?

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