April School’s

, , , , , | Learning | April 21, 2018

I went to a small middle school in a small-ish building. One year on April Fool’s day, my class decided to play a prank on our science teacher.

Before class, we snuck in and left a note on his overhead projector saying that we had unanimously decided to skip his class. We then left a trail of paper footprints going down the stairs, through the gym, and up into the drama closet, which held costumes, props, and the like.

We all crowded in and waited. When he got close to the closet, we ran up through the drama classroom, and back down the stairs and into the science classroom, stifling giggles the whole way. When he threw open the door to the closet and roared, trying to startle us, he found it empty. When he got back to his classroom, we were all sitting at the tables like perfect angels.

The Fluffy Chronicles

, , , , , , | Learning | April 5, 2018

(I am and have always been an avid and fast reader. I finish my in-class reading and pull out a “fun” book: a fantasy novel with a witch on a broomstick on the cover.)

Teacher: “Finish your assigned reading.”

Me: “I am finished.”

Teacher: “No, you’re not.”

Me: “I read the assignment, answered the questions, and turned them in to you.”

Teacher: *prowls up beside my desk and grabs my book* “You need to finish your work before reading fluff!”

(I hang onto the book with all my strength, and she is visibly surprised.)

Me: “I finished the reading and turned in my questions. And this is a library book; it is not yours to take!”

(The teacher keeps pulling, I keep hanging on, and she realizes that the whole class is watching her lose a tug-of-war with a 12-year-old over a book about witches.)

Teacher: “Fine!”

(She goes to her desk and grabs my turned-in paper. I watch over the top of my book as she gets visibly annoyed. At the end of class, she hands me my 100% correct paper.)

Teacher: “You still shouldn’t be reading fluff in science class!

(I still read fluff!)

Epi’s And Lockdowns And Police, Oh My!

, , , , | Learning | April 4, 2018

I am working a long-term substituting position as a front office secretary. I love it because I don’t have to deal with a big group of kids all day, and I get to hear all the juicy stuff going on in the school. A couple highlights from my first week:

  1. Yesterday, a student found an epipen on the PE field. Instead of turning it in, like a normal person would, he decided to inject himself with it. He got a free ride to the hospital in the back of an ambulance.
  2. We had a lockdown drill today. Yay. Everyone in the office — around 20 people — files into the supply room, which is thankfully big enough to hold all of us. We wait around ten or fifteen minutes when the resource officer opens the door to let us know that, apparently, the first announcement wasn’t heard by anyone because the rest of the campus is acting normally. Cue another ten or fifteen minutes of sitting around doing nothing while the police officers run another check of the school.

Not A Substitution For Caring

, , , , | Learning | March 26, 2018

(I walk into my science class only to see that I have a substitute. My regular teacher hasn’t said anything about being absent, so naturally I’m a bit concerned.)

Me: *walking up to the substitute* “Mr. [Substitute]? Do you know where Dr. [Teacher] is?”

Substitute: “What?”

Me: “Do you know where Dr. [Teacher] is? She didn’t tell us she was going to be absent.”

Substitute: “Why do you care?”

Me: *a bit stunned* “Uh… Just because I’m concerned for her well-being, I guess?”

Substitute: *sighing heavily* “Just go sit down.”

(Well, gee, all right. Next time, I’ll make sure to not care about anyone’s health!)

Chairing This Situation

, , , , , , | Learning | March 23, 2018

Many years ago, I was in eighth grade and we had a yearly event for that grade that was basically a picnic. We had group projects to work on, so to be nice to the other people in my group, I brought folding chairs for us to sit on outside while we ate.

The teachers called all the students up to get our food, and when I got back to our spot, all four of my chairs were gone. I was pissed and went around asking for my chairs back. Two kids gave them up with no issue. Two other boys told me I’d just have to wait until they were done with them. When I pointed out that my (very girly) name was written on each chair they dismissed me and told me to get lost. Fed up, I did the only logical thing; I walked behind them and dumped them on their butts in the grass, taking my chairs back to my spot.

While I was eating lunch, a teacher came up to ask me if I had stolen some chairs from some boys. I calmly told her that, no, they were my chairs, and they had stolen them from me.

We all got sent to the principal’s office. When it finally came my turn, the principal looked at me and asked, “Who are you? I’ve never met you before.” She commended me on standing up for myself, but said I should have gotten a teacher to help. I pointed out that they were all busy and that none had been available. She gave all three of us detention. Guess who was the only one who showed up? The office worker who oversaw detention felt badly for me, so I got to watch videos on a spare computer and have some pizza that had been bought for the staff. I later learned that the two boys I’d dumped in the grass were detention regulars, and I was apparently the “nicest kid they’d had in detention.”

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