Makes You Believe A Cow Can Fly

| NY, USA | Learning | July 21, 2017

(I am in sixth-grade math class, when the conversation gets a little off-topic:)

Teacher: “Animals are usually not allowed on airplanes, unless they are service animals, in which case they must be allowed onto the plane.”

Friend: “So if someone’s service animal was a cow, the cow could go on the airplane?”

Teacher: “Well… technically, I suppose so.”

Friend: “I AM BLIND, DEAF, AND MUTE, AND DEPEND ON MY TRUSTY COW FOR SURVIVAL!”

Toad In The Pole

| NV, USA | Learning | July 20, 2017

(My Physical Science teacher is known for being a joker in class. This exchange happened when we walked into class.)

Student #1: “Hey, [Teacher], what is that?”

(Student #1 points at a stack of rubber toads.)

Teacher: “It’s a Toad-em pole.”

(Many head-desks commenced.)

Hamilton: The School Musical

| CA, USA | Learning | July 14, 2017

(I am giant nerd for the Broadway musical “Hamilton” and have spent some time researching lyrics so I have a lot of knowledge about founding fathers. To my joy we are covering the founding fathers in my history class as well as my teacher also loving Hamilton, we being the only two in the class to have listened to it. The class knows I’m a big fan.)

Teacher: “Okay, as a treat I’m going to have you watch a scene from the musical Hamilton, about Yorktown.”

Me: *over dramatic gasp and slapping my friend’s arm, who sits next to me*

Teacher: “[My Name] has heard of this play, if you couldn’t tell.”

(We are covering the differences between Alexander Hamilton and Thomas Jefferson.)

Teacher: “Okay in a group of four, I want you to mark down the facts and opinion of both founding fathers.”

(My friend runs out of her chair and grabs my arm.)

Friend: “She’s joining our group!”

Classmates Around Me: “Aww.”

Teacher: “This photo is of the duel that killed Alexander Hamilton. We haven’t talked about him yet but the man who shot him was Aaron Burr.”

Me: “Mostly ‘cause he was really salty about Hamilton.”

Teacher: “Yeah, jeez, he was a firecracker.”

Teacher: “This photo is of Alexander Hamilton’s wife Elizabeth, who, even after finding out her husband was having an affair, did not divorce him.”

Classmate: “Really? If I was her I would have filed for divorce immediately.”

Me: “Yeah, but in the male-dominated society back then…” *proceeds to rant about how much s*** Elizabeth went through*

Teacher: “And now you know more about Hamilton’s wife than you do the actual founding father, but that’s okay because he was a jerk.”

Me: “Yeah, he was! Who wants to hear about how he wrote a 98-page pamphlet slut-shaming himself?”

Went From An ‘A’ To A Pee

| OH, USA | Learning | July 14, 2017

(My teacher sends me a text message telling me I never turned in an assignment that was due that day. Unbeknownst to me, I am in the bathroom when she asks everyone to turn it in. I go to her classroom during my free period and turn it in.)

Me: “I’m still getting full credit for this, right?”

Teacher: “No, because this assignment is late.”

Me: “You never asked for it, though.”

Teacher: “Look, [My Name], I know you can’t control when you use the bathroom, but this has been a problem. Before you use the bathroom, I need you to ask me if any homework needs to be turned in.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll do that from now on.”

Teacher: “All right. I’m taking one point off for not paying attention.”

(The assignment was out of nine, effectively turning my A into a B. What do you want me to do, plant spy cameras in your room?!)

The Definition Of Showing Up

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Learning | July 10, 2017

(I’m in seventh grade English. The textbook is divided into sections that start with a twelve-word vocabulary list, has several exercises using the words, and ends with a quiz on the words. The teacher is only halfway through the lesson, but I’ve already read through all of them. I guess she thought I wasn’t paying attention, and decided to call me out….)

Teacher: “[My Name]! Why aren’t you listening? I guess you’ll have to show the class what happens when you don’t listen. Now, I’m going to read the vocabulary words, and you give me the definitions.”

(She read the words, and I gave the answers. I got every last one right. She looked surprised and annoyed, then went back to the lesson. After class, a couple of my classmates congratulated me for showing her up. To be honest, she wasn’t a bad teacher; she just had some jerk moments. For the rest of the school year, I tried to get her to quiz me again, but she never took the bait!)

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