Dead Lockets Club

, , , , | Learning | October 9, 2019

(I frequently wear necklaces. When I’m in middle school, my favorite one to wear is a black and silver locket. I’m working on a group project when one of my partners speaks up.)

Girl: “Is that a locket?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Girl: “What did you put in it?”

Me: *opens locket to show that it’s empty* “Nothing yet.”

Girl: “Can you put my picture in there?”

(I’m a little taken aback, because while I know this girl pretty well as a side effect of going to a small school, I don’t particularly enjoy her company and we’ve never been close enough to be considered friends.)

Me: “Uh, I was going to put in a picture of my dog—“

Girl: “Aw, why not me?”

Me: “Well, the dog is dead, so…”

(She left me alone after that.)

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Would Rather Be Alive Than Late

, , , , , | Learning | September 22, 2019

(My sister works as a nurse at an elementary and middle school. One day, they are running a lockdown drill, a practice simulation for if a dangerous person is on campus. The instructions are to lock yourself in a room, turn off any lights that are visible from the outside, and make as little noise as possible. My sister has two students with her when the drill starts, one of whom has already been physically ill, so she decides for them to hide in the attached bathroom. She has her cell phone and her staff radio on hand with her. Throughout the simulation, multiple people come and try to open the door, or knock on it asking if anyone is in there. Following her instructions, my sister does not respond and turns off her radio whenever she hears footsteps approaching. This continues for some time until an assistant principal she is friendly with approaches:)

AP: “[Sister], it’s [Assistant Principal]. Here is my employee ID.” *slips it under the door* “I am here to tell you that the simulation is over. Please come out.”

(She opens the door.)

AP: “So, you were in there! We’ve been trying to find you for half an hour!”

Sister: *exiting the room* “I had my phone;  someone could’ve–” *phone beeps showing several messages* “Huh, I guess the bathroom is a dead zone for cell service.”

(Turns out the lockdown had been over for a while but they couldn’t find a way to inform her of that. She exited to a frustrated staff and a mother who was there to pick up her sick child. Her principal was ready to scold her but quickly relented when my sister argued that she was following procedure.)

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Not So Perfectly Done

, , , , , | Learning | September 9, 2019

In middle school, I had a terrible art teacher. She would do nothing other than screaming and insulting our drawings.

For the summer break, she gave us homework: a single drawing, but it had to be perfect. I wasn’t that good at the time, so I worked very hard on it and it took me the entire three months of break.

We came back to school and the moment came to show her our work. All she told me was that the drawing wasn’t good and that I had to do it all over again for the week after. 

Of course, I had no intention of doing the work of three months in one week — it would turn out even worse, anyway — so all I did was add some shading to it, but it was basically the same.

I showed it to her the week after and she gave me a B… after bragging about how she could tell if we put effort into our work or not.

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Assembly Of Errors

, , , , | Learning | September 5, 2019

(When I’m in eighth grade, my school gets a new teacher, an inexperienced 22-year-old fresh out of college. Since this is a small school, students are grouped by homeroom and he has to teach several different classes, mostly for his homeroom but for other homerooms, as well. One day, he takes us outside for the gym period and gives us free-reign as long as we don’t stray too far. We’re all having fun in our various activities and don’t notice the time passing. Suddenly, the science teacher, who is in charge of one of the seventh-grade classes, storms out of the building and comes up to our teacher.)

Science Teacher: “What are you doing out here?!”

Homeroom Teacher: “Gym class? Why?”

Science Teacher: *yelling* “You’re is supposed to be in the gym! The assembly starts in ten minutes!”

(Most of us heard and came running so we wouldn’t be late. I don’t think we even had time to change out of our gym clothes. The worst part? All of the students from the nearby elementary feeder school had already been bused over and seated, so our entire class plus our teacher had to climb over a bunch of younger kids to get to our assigned spot at the top of the bleachers!)

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Attack Of The Flying Cat

, , , , , | Learning | September 3, 2019

I was in seventh grade. My middle school had kindergarten through eighth grade, and I, being a bit of a know-it-all, had never done anything to mar my perfect record. It’s important to note that my school was… special. We were one of the best schools in the state. To put it plainly, we were all a bunch of nerds. 

Every year towards summer, we would have academic performances. We would spend months preparing to present what we learned that year to our parents.

Fast forward to the end of the day. The parents of our classmates had all just left. They had just left us in the science classroom with absolutely no supervision until the sixth graders were finished presenting in our classroom. 

Being rowdy seventh graders, we were quickly bored. We’d spent our entire day on our best behavior and we were worn out. We had just come from the English classroom and had finished presenting our stage plays. My group had needed a stuffed cat as a prop. By the time we made it to science, I was still carrying the toy around. My friend and I started to slowly toss the cat back and forth. I know; this was a terrible idea in a science lab. 

At one point another, one of my friends stood between us and was trying to catch it, forcing us to throw longer and longer, until suddenly, the first friend missed the cat. It flew right over her head and smashed straight into a sixth grader’s popsicle bridge project, knocking it off the table. 

It just so happened that the moment it flew off the desk was also the moment the teacher walked into the classroom. It turns out, that bridge was from the only sixth-grade class that hadn’t tested the strength of their bridges yet. We had knocked over the only untested bridge on the table. Great. 

Our head of discipline actually laughed when he found out what we had done. The only thing on my permanent record was vandalism. I had knocked over a popsicle bridge with a flying cat.

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