You Won That Rat Race

, , , , | Learning | November 18, 2019

(I’m in class. We’ve completed most of our work and our teacher is letting us have a bit of a study hall. The classroom is on the second floor and the window, which I am seated next to, provides a nice view of the grounds. I see another teacher go outside with her small dog, who has curly white fur. I have a soft spot for animals and generally prefer them to people.)

Me: “Hey, there’s a puppy!”

(Immediately, we all crowd to the window to see.)

Classmate #1: “Awww, it’s so cute!”

Classmate #2: “It looks like a rat!”

Me: “Hey, rats are cute, too!”

Classmate #3: “You think rats are cute?”

Me: “I think basically everything with fur is cute. Have you ever seen a baby fruit bat sucking on a pacifier? They’re adorable!”

(I still hold that bats, rats, and puppies are all equal levels of adorable.)

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We Applaud Your Patience

, , , , | Learning | November 13, 2019

(I’m part of a group project on communication. I end up doing the majority of the work, but when it comes to the filming portion of the project, I decide to work the camera. [Partner #1] is speaking and [Partner #2] is acting as the audience. Her only job is to applaud after [Partner #1] finishes the speech.)

Partner #1: *finishes speech*

Partner #2: *does nothing*

Partner #1: “What do you need her to do?”

Me: “Applaud.”

Partner #2: *stands up*

Partner #1: “Yeah, [Partner #1], just sit down and applaud.”

Partner #2: *sits back down and stares at [Partner #1] onstage*

Me: “Like… clap your hands.”

Partner #2: *finally claps*

(I was very glad when that project was over.)

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Can’t Equate Numbers To Notes

, , , , | Healthy | November 13, 2019

(My high school chemistry teacher is a very stern, organized lady. One of my friends is very bright but not organized at all, and he hates the very structured reports we have to make of our chemistry labs. He is constantly getting points off for one detail or another. One facet of these reports is that they are required to have two columns: one for equations and one for long-form notes. One lab, my friend and I are partnered and he actually is trying to do his report properly. The chemistry teacher comes to look over our work and taps his chemistry notebook disapprovingly.)

Teacher: “You haven’t labeled these columns; how am I supposed to know which is equations and which is notes?”

Friend: “See the one with numbers in it? That’s the equations column.”

(My friend immediately looked horrified with himself. He and the teacher just stared at each other for a long moment, and then she finally just huffed and moved on to the next group. I do realize that such labels are probably useful in a real laboratory, but to be fair to my friend, the teacher did sort of set herself up for that!)

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Comic Sans Timing

, , , , , | Learning | November 11, 2019

(I’m in a class about comics. We are currently talking about typography in vintage comics when someone mentions the font Comic Sans. Our professor is a very good-natured guy and responds in a somewhat joking way.)

Professor: “I don’t think Comic Sans existed back then… and it shouldn’t exist now. That and Papyrus should be banned for all time.”

(I and a few other classmates chuckled out loud. I can only assume they were thinking the same thing I was. Sans and Papyrus are characters in a highly popular video game who use those two fonts in their dialogue. Look where those fonts got them!)

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Saying It Just For The Devil Of It

, , , , , , | Learning | November 11, 2019

(My anatomy class tends to get off topic sometimes. We talk about everything from famous people to how our day was. Today is a little different, courtesy of a girl on the other side of the class. We have started talking about religion, sharing random facts about it. [Student #1] puts her two cents in.)

Student #1: “I’m Catholic, as you know by now. And if you have not, or do not go to church, you are devil worshipers.”

(She says this without any hesitation. The whole class just stares.)

Student #2: “That’s a bit harsh.”

Student #1: “I don’t mean like y’all are going to Hell. But that’s what the devil does. He doesn’t go to church. So you follow him. That’s why you don’t go to church.”

(Everyone in our cultural rainbow glory of peers just stared. Even the die-hard Catholics were sitting there with “WTF” looks. Each to their own opinion, but seriously.)

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