The Greased Wheel Doesn’t Get Squeaked At

, , , , | Learning | January 13, 2021

This happens in middle school, during the last week. We are basically doing nothing in all of our classes, so in homeroom, we watch a movie each day. We have a small homeroom class so the back row of desks is empty and I decide to sit on one of them to see better. After a few minutes, another student does the same and the teacher immediately yells at him to get down.

Classmate: *Pointing at me* “How come he can do it?!”

Teacher: “Because he never does anything!”

At the end of class, some of my classmates actually said they hadn’t even realized I was in there all year since I was so quiet.

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Welcome To The 1950s!

, , , , , | Learning | January 11, 2021

I’m a female senior in college, and I’m majoring in a business-related field. I’m in a human resource management class. We’re learning about Title VII in the workplace.

Professor: “Any questions so far?”

A male student raises his hand. Our professor nods at him.

Guy #1: “Can we just admit that there are some jobs women shouldn’t do?”

All us girls start to protest. The professor shushes us.

Professor: “Not yet, ladies. Explain your reasoning, [Guy #1], and then I’m opening the floor for discussion.”

Guy #1: “Like, women should be nurses and kindergarten teachers and stay-at-home moms and s*** like that. There are some jobs they should leave for men, that are traditionally done by men.”

Every girl in the class is waving her hand in the air frantically. The professor points at me.

Professor: “All right, we’re gonna have a discussion. [Guy #1], remember that you started this. [My Name], thoughts?”

Me: “We’re all business-related majors here, right? Business is a field normally dominated by men. Look around. Half the class is female. Are you saying that we should not be here?” 

Guy #1: “No, of course not. Women can be in business, but not as, like, managers. That’s a guy thing. We need administrative assistants and crap like that.”

Our professor groans and facepalms.

Me: “See, that’s faulty logic, and a violation of federal regulations. Women can be in business, but not as managers? Anyone else wanna jump in here?”

Girl #1: “I will! So, [Guy #1], according to you, we should just toddle off to a stereotypical ‘female’ job?”

Guy #1: “That’s not what I said!”

The room erupts.

Girl #2: “OH, YES, YOU DID!”

Guy #1: “Okay, but I didn’t mean it like that.”

Girl #3: “Do you seriously think you’re gonna survive in the workplace with an attitude like that?”

Me: “What are you gonna do if you have a female manager? Tell her she’s not supposed to be there? I’d love to see that!”

[Guy #1] turns to [Guy #2], who is a friend of mine.

Guy #1: “[Guy #2]! Help me!”

Guy #2: *Laughs* “Nope. [My Name] got you. You’re screwed.”

Guy #1: *Whines* “Dr. [Professor]! Tell them to stop!”

Our professor has her hands over her face. I can’t tell if she’s shaking her head or laughing. Finally, she motions for quiet.

Professor: “[Guy #1], this is a Human Resources class. What you said today violates multiple federal regulations. You keep talking like that when you enter the workforce, you will not be employable, and your name will be in an HR lawsuit. Got it? Good. Now, let’s move on…”

[Guy #1] scowled and didn’t say a word in class again for a week.

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We’re Guessing It Wasn’t Anatomy Class

, , , , , | Learning | January 4, 2021

I’m walking behind two guys toward the sunrise after an 8:00 am class one day.

Guy #1: Man, the sun is really bright.”

Guy #2: “Yeah, it feels like it’s burning my rectums.”

Guy #1: “Yeah.”

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Sounds More Emo Than Goth

, , , , | Learning | December 26, 2020

I am a Goth and therefore I always have my hair dyed black. Since many people in the dark alternative scene use makeup, I want to add that I don’t ever do this.

I am a university student, and one day, when I only have to attend lectures in the afternoon, I go to a hairdresser first to have my hair dyed. After that, I meet a friend who is also a fellow student and we walk together to our first lecture that day.

Unfortunately, it is raining and I don’t have an umbrella, so my hair gets really wet.

The whole afternoon, I notice people looking quite strangely at me, but since nobody says anything and my friend is acting perfectly normal toward me, I don’t give it much thought.

After our lectures, my friend comes home with me for a cup of coffee. When I go to the bathroom and look into the mirror, I suddenly know why I had gotten so many strange looks at university!

The hairdresser obviously didn’t rinse my hair properly, so the rain caused black streaks from the hair dye all over my face and neck! I look like a creature from a horror movie!

I jump back into the kitchen where my friend is sitting.

Me: “Look at me! You must have noticed from the beginning! Why on earth didn’t you tell me?!”

Friend: “Oh, I thought it was funny seeing you run around like that.”

Thanks a lot.

 

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Ugly Is In The Eye Of The Jerk

, , , , | Learning | December 23, 2020

I am doing a group project with three other women. They are all horrid snobs, and they’re all from fancy, influential families, whereas I am not. They think they have extremely good manners and like to correct me when I do things differently than them. My way of doing things is also considered polite, but they only know of two ways of doing things: their way or the wrong way.

I know that they actually know very little about manners as in Denmark, both then and now, the rudest faux pas you can make is to correct others in public. The second rudest is to brag, and if bragging was an Olympic discipline, they would be qualified to compete. Here is an example of their “perfect manners.”

One day, we are having a work meeting in [Woman #1]’s apartment. She has gone to the kitchen with [Woman #2] to get some tea and cookies.

Woman #3: “Well, well! Look at that!” 

She points at a hideous steel fruit bowl on the coffee table and bends over to pick it up. 

Woman #3: “I wonder if it is an original? The copies are sooo ugly! Oh! It is an original! Niiice!”

Me: “If the copies are so ugly, why did you need to turn it over to see the markings on the bottom to tell if it was original?”

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