Your Grades Will All Die Eventually

, , , , , , | Learning | March 19, 2018

(I’m in my economics class. My class is known for goofing around, but we still do our work. My teacher is sort of laid back with us, so we joke with her about things. Our teacher is giving a lecture until we start getting off topic. I can’t remember how exactly we got to this, but we are talking about death in older people. Also, the teacher has been sick and going to the doctor, and recently had surgery. One girl is talking to the teacher. Everyone can hear her, speaking in a uncaring voice.)

Girl #1: “What’s the point, if you’re going to die, anyway?”

(In a split second everyone turns to her and gasps in shock.)

Classmate #1: “What is wrong with you?!”

Classmate #2: “How can you just say that?!”

Classmate #3: “Wow, [Girl #1]!”

Classmate #4: “What the f***?!”

(The teacher is just shocked, and [Girl #1] realizes what she just said.)

Teacher: “Well, guys, if I’m not here tomorrow… You should know why.”

Girl #1: *stammering* “I mean, we all die in the end.”

Girl #2: “[Girl #1], if your average in the class suddenly goes down, you should know why.”

A De-Graded Friendship

, , , , , , | Learning | March 13, 2018

(I’m in sixth grade and we are about to have math class for first period. Our homework was to have a parent sign a test and our math teacher is VERY strict about signatures.)

Classmate #1: “I forgot to have my parents sign my test!”

Classmate #2: “Oh, my God, same!”

(They sign each other’s tests, attempting to replicate each other’s mother’s signatures. A few minutes later, class starts and our teacher comes around to check the tests. He stops suddenly at my two classmates’ tables.)

Teacher: “Did your mom really sign this?”

Classmate #1: “Yes. Of course.”

Teacher: “Are you sure? This doesn’t look like her signature.”

Classmate #1: “No, I’m sure.”

Teacher: *to Classmate #2* “Is that really her mom’s signature? If you lie you’ll get an infraction.”

Classmate #2: “Wait, she signed it! I didn’t do anything! Give her the infraction!”

Classmate #1: “Her mom didn’t sign it, either. Why should I get blamed, too, if you won’t blame her?”

Classmate #2: “F*** you!”

(This is how you break a friendship. They both got infractions, and their moms weren’t too happy. Just put up with the bad grade. It isn’t worth it.)

You’d Be Barking Mad Not To

, , , , , | Learning | March 11, 2018

(In my study hall class, there’s this one girl who is know for being rather disruptive.)

Girl: “Hey, Mr. Teacher, can I play this video for [Classmate]?”

Teacher: “No. Do your work, please.”

Girl: “But it’s ten seconds long and has a dog in it!”

Teacher: “So, it’s not important?”

Friend: “Did you just say dogs aren’t important?!”

Teacher: “Good point; you can play it.”

The Mother Of All Turn-Offs

, , , , | Friendly | February 28, 2018

(One of our male students is basically a nice guy, but has a bit of an ego problem, especially when it comes to girls. One afternoon this male student leaves class and goes out onto the quad. He notices an attractive young lady that he has not seen before. He starts talking to her, doing his best to turn on the charm. A few minutes later, a female student enters the quad and observes the male student for a moment.)

Female Student: “Hey, [Male Student], can I talk to you for a moment?”

Male Student: *approaches [Female Student], visibly irritated* “What do you want? Can’t you see I’m busy?”

Female Student: “Oh, I was just wondering why you were trying to pick up my mom.”

(I think [Male Student] got teased about that for the rest of the academic year.)

Scary Things Come In Small Packages

, , , , , , | Learning | February 19, 2018

(In first grade, we are partnered with fifth graders. The library’s books are divided by grades, but it’s generally a guideline. Most of the entire class of 20+ races to the first grade shelves, so it’s too crowded.)

Partner: “Okay, just wait, then.”

(I go to the other side of the room, to the fifth grade shelves.)

Partner: “Looking around?”

(I grab a book and push it into my partner’s hands.)

Me: “Can you read this one?”

Partner: “I can, but I have to read to you, and you have to read it, too.”

Me: “Yeah, this one.”

Partner: “This book is too hard.”

(I open the book and start reading, and read two pages out loud. It’s worth noting that I’m the smallest in my class, and he is pretty big. He stares at me.)

Partner: “Ahh! Scary!”

(My partner runs off to find his teacher.)

Partner: “Scary! How can she read this? She’s so tiny! I can’t be with her! She’s so scary!”

(The teacher switched our partners because he was so scared of me and avoided me every time. My new partner was very nice, and we stayed partners for many weeks, reading that one chapter book. Usually, partners were switched every week, but the teachers made an exception.)

Page 1/1112345...Last
Next »