Dead Presidents

, , , , | Learning | February 10, 2019

(When I am teaching fourth grade, my students do a project where they make little cutouts of various US presidents. The next day, one of my students comes to me in tears, saying that on the bus home, an older kid grabbed her president and tore it up. I confront the kid the next day.)

Me: “Did you tear up my student’s president?”

Kid: “No! Someone else did!”

Me: “She says it was you.”

Kid: “No! All I did was tear off the head and legs!”

(I gave the girl the sample president as a replacement. Poor kid traded James Madison for Jimmy Carter.)

It’s A Con Text, Part 2

, , , , , | Learning | February 4, 2019

(I am the OP of this story. When the teacher who so poorly handled the “cyberbullying” incident returns from his suspension, he seems to have finally gotten his head on straight. [Problem Girl] is still making up her usual attention-seeking stories, but what happened between us seems to have finally caused the majority of the staff to catch on and stop babying her. A couple of weeks after the teacher returns, things begin to go missing from the changing rooms. They are never things you’d expect to have stolen; money and electronics are always left untouched. It is never anything valuable, but generally pretty stupid things like a singular shoe, an empty pencil case, etc. Heck, one time it’s a school bag — just the school bag. Everything inside it is dumped onto the floor. Almost immediately, people jump onto the idea that [Problem Girl] is the thief as she often leaves conveniently in the middle of PE to go to the toilet. However, that theory is quickly shot down as items keep going missing on days where she isn’t even in. Eventually, it becomes constant enough that everyone becomes sick of it. We turn to one of our PE teachers for help, who immediately stations guards in the changing rooms. These “guards” are just students who aren’t able to participate in the lesson for whatever reason. Instead of coming outside and acting as referee, they are allowed to sit inside and revise whilst making sure nothing gets stolen. The thefts stop… until a few months later when our PE teacher goes on maternity leave. The other teachers quickly scrap the little system and the thefts start up again like clockwork. Seeing no way out of it, a small group of us head up to the office to report the situation. We walk in, finally hoping that the thief will be stopped for good, only to see the one teacher none of us wanted to talk to: [Problem Teacher].)

Student #1: “I know they’re just little things going missing, but none of us can afford to keep replacing them each week. I’ve had my pencil case stolen twice in a month, and [My Name] has had to get food off of us every day for a week because they take the majority of what she’s packed!”

(The school uses something called a FOB for students to pay for lunches in the canteen — it’s like a school credit card. It was introduced after people kept having their lunch money stolen. My mum never put money on mine as I preferred packed lunches, and I eventually lost it, so I couldn’t buy food when my lunch got taken.)


Problem Teacher: *not looking up from what he was typing* “Stop bringing packed lunches in, then. Problem solved.”

Student #1: “But what about the rest of us?”

Problem Teacher: “Have they stolen money or anything valuable?”

Student #2: “No, but—“

Problem Teacher: “Then what’s the issue? Come back when something of value goes missing.”

Student #2: *angrily* “Are you kidding me?! They threw the contents of my backpack across the changing room and stole the bag! Just the bag! Those are expensive! They’ve stolen [Student #1]’s left shoe twice, and she had to put up with shoes two sizes too small all day because there weren’t any spares in her size! How is this not an issue?!”

Problem Teacher: *glances up and glares at [Student #2]* “Stop making such a fuss over nothing. Raise your voice at me again, and I’ll give all three of you detention. Now, get out and go bother someone else.”

(Seeing we won’t get anywhere with this guy, we turn and leave the office, ranting about it to each other as we leave. Things continue to get stolen, each theft getting more and more irritating, until finally…)

Student #3: *rummaging through her bag* “Hey… Has anyone seen my purse? I can’t find it.”

Student #1: “Do you think it was stolen? What does it look like?”

Student #3: “It’s blue, shaped like a cat, and has my name written on the ear.” *starts looking around on the floor*

(The majority of us join in the search and come up with nothing. Since the disappearance of the purse means that [Student #3]’s bus pass, fob, and about £10 in cash have gone missing, as well, we finally have what we need to force the teachers to do something. We go back to [Problem Teacher] and confront him with the new issue.)

Problem Teacher: *with an irritated sigh* “All right, ladies, calm yourselves. You think it was definitely stolen; you didn’t misplace it anywhere?”

Student #3: *upset and near tears* “[Student #4] and [Student #1] helped me search my bag, [My Name] went and asked all my teachers if I had left it in a classroom, and the others searched the changing rooms. We couldn’t find it. I can’t get home without it!”

Problem Teacher: “Did everyone join in the search?”

Me: “No, [Student In A Wheelchair] and [Problem Girl] didn’t.”

Problem Teacher: *nods and waves us out of the office* “I’ll talk to your class about it later, then. Now shoo. I have things to do.”

(We leave, now hopeful that things will stop vanishing. School ends and I’m about to leave, when [Student In A Wheelchair] comes up to me in tears.)

Student In A Wheelchair: “[My Name], have you seen [Student #3]?”

Me: *concerned about how distraught she looks* “Not since we went to [Problem Teacher]. Why? What’s wrong? Has someone been picking on you again?”

Student In A Wheelchair: “N-no. [Problem Teacher] pulled me out of French to accuse me of stealing from [Student #3]. He said that I must be a thief because I didn’t help search for the purse and wouldn’t let me explain why I didn’t look! He said he was going to get the police involved if I didn’t give it back!”

Me: *surprised* “But you can’t fit your wheelchair between the benches! Besides, [Problem Girl] didn’t search, either! Did he at least accuse her, too?”

Student In A Wheelchair: *shakes her head* “He said he knew she wouldn’t have done such a thing, so it had to have been me.”

Me: *furious* “Is he kidding me?! [Problem Girl] is just as capable of doing this as we are! He should know that by now!”

(After calming down, she went to meet her parents in the car-park and I headed home where I told my mother everything. She was furious that [Problem Teacher] was still blatantly defending [Problem Girl] and sent me to call my grandmother, again, who decided she was going to step in this time. She took me into school the next morning, in her uniform, where we bumped into [Student #3] and [Student In A Wheelchair] heading to the office with [Student In A Wheelchair]’s parents. [Student In A Wheelchair] took one look at my grandmother and started crying again. My grandmother quickly realised why she was crying and assured her that she wasn’t there to arrest her. [Student #3] and I ended up missing what happened during the confrontation, as the bell rang before we reached the office, but we later learned what happened from [Student In A Wheelchair]. When [Problem Teacher] saw my grandmother in her uniform, he assumed that [Student #3] had called her down over the missing purse and proceeded to loudly and smugly tell [Student In A Wheelchair] that she should have just admitted that she was “a dirty little thief” sooner so all of this could have been avoided. Upon hearing this, her parents lost it and the head teacher was eventually dragged down to get involved. After hearing the full story, [Problem Teacher] was finally fired and a full investigation into all of the stolen items was launched. [Student In A Wheelchair] got a full apology from the head teacher, as did her parents, and my grandmother was thanked for attempting to defuse the situation before [Problem Teacher] really did call the police. And for all of those wondering, the thief was eventually caught. It wasn’t [Problem Girl], as some people had still suspected, but another girl who no one ever really spoke to. She would sneak back to the changing rooms while everyone was outside and take random items for the fun of it. She never sold anything, just took them home and hid them in her room, so we got back the majority of what was stolen after she was caught.)

A Different Grade Of Thief

, , , , , , | Learning | February 1, 2019

When I was younger, I always loved reading. I still do, even though I don’t have as much time as I used to. In my school, we were allowed to quietly read after we finished our work, something I took full advantage of… at least until my grades started drastically dropping in one class.

I always did my work before I pulled out a book, so I was confused. A parent-teacher meeting was called, and my teacher told my parents that she hadn’t been receiving any papers for me. The decision was made to ban me from reading at all in her class.

I still did my work, and my grade in that class didn’t get much better, but since the apparent “reason” had been taken care of, nothing more was done until one day, when we had a new kind of assignment.

This new one was a magazine for kids with short informational stories. We then had to fill out a little quiz on the back of it. I turned mine in, went back to my seat, and waited.

Towards the end of class, the teacher read out the names of everyone who had turned them in… and mine wasn’t there. I knew I had turned it in, so I asked her if I could look through them, which she allowed. And about midway through the pile, I found it: my work, with my name erased and another name written over it. How did I know?

Well, once you wrote on those magazines, the indent would still be there, even if it was erased. I showed it to my teacher, pointed out the indents, and the person who stole that paper — and several before that — got in a lot of trouble. I had more problems with her, but this was the biggest stunt she pulled by far.

It Needs To Be A Nudge Nudge Wink Wink Before It’s Official

, , , , , , | Romantic | January 12, 2019

(I have glasses, and sometimes when they get dirty I close one of my eyes and look to see if it’s that side of the glasses or the other that’s dirty. I am walking to class and I see some blurriness, so I do the thing I mentioned. I close one of my eyes and look. Then I notice a boy looking funny at me. I brush it off because not everyone does what I do. It is later that day when I am waiting in the hall and browsing NotAlwaysRight. The same guy I saw sits down next to me and starts to lean in and play bad music on his speaker. I just keep sitting there, still reading.)

Guy: “Soooo… a couple of hours ago…”

Me: *looks up and waits for him to continue*

Guy: *raises eyebrow*

Me: *still waiting*

Guy: *starts to lean in, probably for a kiss*

Me: “Uh. You okay?”

Guy: “Yeah? Why? You scared?”

Me: “No, just confused.”

Guy: “What’s confusing? You were winking at me just a while ago!”

Me: “…” *remembers this is the same dude as before* “Sorry, I was just looking through my glasses.”

Guy: “Yeah, right.” *stands up and starts to leave*

Me: “Well… good luck to the next girl you want to randomly kiss in the hall.”

Guy: *looks at me surprised and hurries away*

(Peeps, if you think someone is winking at you, that doesn’t mean you can just kiss ’em.)

Sociopathy 101

, , , , | Learning | January 6, 2019

(I go to a very small, Catholic high school. It is so small that we would typically have class with the same people almost all day. In my sophomore year theology class, I am seated next to a girl who comes across as an airhead. She asks the dumbest questions and irritates the teachers, constantly raising her hand and not even waiting for the teacher to acknowledge her before yelling out another doozy of a question. One day, she’s agitating the — honestly, kind of a b**** — theology teacher so much that the teacher looks like she’s going to scream.)

Teacher: *blinking furiously* “[Girl], I need to get on with teaching! I can’t keep explaining this to you!” *turns around and starts writing angrily on the board*

Me: *rolling my eyes in frustration*

Classmate: *turns to me and whispers* “Do you think I can get her to cry?”

(I was so shocked I almost burst out laughing. Apparently, this girl was being annoying for entertainment purposes. As an adult, I wouldn’t find it funny anymore, even if the teacher was a fanatic and a jerk, but I definitely looked at her differently from then on, and it turned out, she was actually quite intelligent, and I definitely understand how hard it was to take a class seriously when the teacher’s opinion mattered more than anything else.)

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