Letting You Know At The Top Of Their Lung
Me: “You’re talking to [My Name]. How can I help?”
Caller: “My smoke detectors are ten years old, and my insurance told me to replace them.”
Me: “I see. Do you rent a house with us?”
He gives me the address.
Me: “I see you are renting with us, and since smoke detectors are obligated by law, we can help you with that. I just need some information, and then I can put you on a list. Please know that all of our smoke detectors were ordered from [Country that is currently being invaded], so it may take a while before we can place them with you.”
Caller: “I understand.”
Me: “Now, how many smoke detectors are present in your house?”
Caller: “Three.”
Me: “And how many floors does your home have, including the ground floor?”
Caller: “Three.”
Me: “All right, and are the smoke detectors still working, or are they broken?”
Caller: “I don’t know.”
Me: “When was the last time you tested them?”
The fire department advises you to check the detectors once a week. They have an easy-to-reach test button.
Caller: “I’ve never tested them. I only have one lung!”
Me: “Do you have the opportunity to test them right now?”
Caller: “I told you; I only have one lung!”
Me: “I understand that you are not in the position to press a button. I will mention that in the work order for you. When was the last time you cleaned them?”
Cleaning means just vacuuming them.
Caller: “What don’t you understand about having one lung?!”
Me: “All right, you haven’t been able to clean them once in the past ten years. I’ll let our technician know that, as well. You will be called in [timespan]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”
Caller: “Yes, am I allowed to take my bike into the elevator? I have a very expensive racing bike, and I don’t want to keep it in my storage unit. I’d rather keep it at home so I don’t have to worry about it being stolen. I only ride it every Sunday.”
So, pressing a button and vacuuming a smoke detector is too hard, but riding a bike is no issue… Some people…
Also, bikes are not allowed in the elevators. The customer then asked if he could take it up the stairs. I know racing bikes can be light, but again… some people…