(I’m a lot attendant at a grocery store. This takes place in the middle of a very severe thunderstorm with lightning all over the place.)

Manager: “[My Name], we’re low on carts; could you go outside and get some?”

Me: “I can’t. There’s a severe thunderstorm outside.”

Manager: “Oh, man up, will you? You won’t get struck.”

Me: “Just because it doesn’t happen often, it doesn’t mean it can’t.”

Manager: “Well, there are no carts inside, and I need both lobbies full. You’ll just have to deal with it and brave the storm.”

Me: “But if I get struck by lightning, we’d both be in serious trouble!”

Manager: *raising her voice* “The only person who’s going to be in trouble here is you if you’re not outside gathering carts!”

Me: “But I could be injured or killed! You know the—”

Manager: *now yelling* “I don’t care! If you’re not out there in thirty seconds, I’m firing you on the spot for insubordination!”

Me: *appalled* “You know, I find it very disturbing that you’d actually value a few shopping carts over the life of your own employees.”

Manager: *screaming full-blast* “YOU’RE FIRED!”

Me: “Do it! I’m sure the owner would gladly appreciate your kindness towards me!”

(The owner did appreciate my boss’s kindness very much. So much, in fact, that he fired her the very next day, just minutes after she clocked in. She had already had several complaints and multiple write-ups against her for screaming at employees in front of customers, but her decision to willfully put me in danger was the last straw. I’m still working there to this day, though I haven’t seen the ex-manager since the day she was fired. Last I heard, she was in jail for assaulting her ex-husband after she lost custody of her daughter.)

I work at a big fast food chain. A coworker who works the front counter is annoyed by our slower work speed in the back, due one of the deep fryer elements being stuck half out of the oil. They decide to come see why we are slower.

Seeing the lid on the fryer, which is an obvious sign that it has a fault, the coworker decides to turn it on without asking why it is off and covered, and walks away without telling anyone the fryer is now on.

A few minutes pass, and now smoke is seen coming out from under the lid. [Coworker #2] decides to take the lid off to see why. That causes the fryer to burst into flames. Seeing the danger, [Coworker #2] grabs the nearby fire blanket and covers the fire…

…only to see the blanket also catch fire, as it’s out of date and has not been inspected in years. [Coworker #3] sees this happen and grabs the nearby extinguisher for oil fires and empties it all on the flames…

…only to see them still burning, as the extinguisher — like the blanket — is also out of date and has not been inspected in years. [Coworker #3] then grabs another extinguisher and empties it on the flames, with no effect ,due to the same problem as the blanket and first extinguisher.

The fire brigade arrives and finally puts out the fire. In the end, [Coworker #1], who started the whole thing, doesn’t get in any trouble, and the store gets regular checks on all its fire prevention equipment.

(I work in a laboratory, and part of my job involves sampling products with long metal scoops. Our autoclave is broken, so to sterilise the scoops, we’ve resorted to spraying them with ethanol and then burning it off over a bunsen burner. It’s a little dangerous, especially when the ethanol inside the scoop ignites and a small flame shoots out of the opening. I am currently sterilising a batch of scoops when the safety officer comes in on his regular inspection. He looks around the lab, then stops next to me, watching me spray then flame a scoop.)

Safety Officer: “So, is there anything here, in the lab, that you have concerns about? Anything that you feel is a safety issue?”

(I look at him, then at the burning scoop in my hand.)

Me: “No, not at all.”

Safety Officer: “Oh, good.”

(We got excellent marks on that inspection.)

(My roommate is the assistant manager for a grocery store that has a contract with a local floor-cleaning crew. So, every few days, a crew of one to three people comes in to sweep, mop, and buff the floors. I also come by at least once a week to bring my roommate dinner and hang out for an hour or so. These two just so happened to coincide. This usually isn’t an issue. The evenings are usually uneventful… until one night when there’s a different, single crew member that we’ve never seen before. My roommate says the guy has been standoffish. He’s got a relatively thick accent, so we just assume that it is due to English being a second language, and think nothing of it. He’s also going way more slowly than our normal crew. The floor guy does his sweep, and everything goes smoothly until he starts mopping. My roommate sees that there is a noticeable river of mop water that starts in the entrance of the store, winds through a few aisles, and ends in the back with the floor guy emptying his mop bucket.)

Roommate: “Hey, you left a stream of water out there; will you go clean it up?”

Floor Guy: *waves us off*

Roommate: “Seriously, man. It’s a hazard and someone could fall. Go take care of it.”

Floor Guy: *grunts and heads towards the front with a mop*

(A few minutes later, the water is still there, untouched, and [Floor Guy] is nowhere to be found. While trying to search for him, I slip on the water and my knee hits the tile floor. My roommate is super protective of me, so he does not take this well. He books it to find [Floor Guy] and happens to find him outside, taking a smoke break.)

Roommate: “Hey! Someone just slipped and fell because of that water. You need to get in there and take care of it, now.”

Floor Guy: “Man, you don’t have to talk to me like that.”

Roommate: “I wouldn’t be yelling at you if you had done your job.”

Floor Guy: “I don’t have to take this.” *gets in his poorly parked truck and leaves*

(My roommate called his boss and explained the situation, emphasizing that I fell. His boss gave him the phone number to the owner of the floor cleaning company. The owner is a generally nice guy and likes to give the benefit of the doubt, but he was LIVID. Rightfully so, in my opinion. He immediately apologized for the actions of his employee and deployed another crew to the store. While they were on the way, my roommate cleaned up the excess water and put out wet floor signs. The new crew arrived and has two very presentable, efficient, friendly people. They also apologized for the actions of the other guy and promptly got to work. They managed to sweep and mop the whole floor and were midway through buffering in the same amount of time as the other guy. These guys were rock stars. The owner called us back and made sure that everything was going smoothly now. He also told us that [Floor Guy] had been terminated, effective immediately, and that it was my roommate’s choice if he wanted to allow the guy back on the property. The guy did try to come back to get his things, but it turns out those things belonged to the company, so he got kicked out and the other crew took the equipment with them. I do feel somewhat sorry that a man lost his job, but at the same time, safety precautions exist for a reason, you know?)

(I work the front desk. As part of our ongoing safety training, we do storm drills at the beginning of spring and throughout the season. The maintenance manager asks me to call out such a drill.)

Me: *on the overhead* “Code Yellow drill, Code Yellow drill. All staff please report to the lobby.”

(The manager and I wait a few minutes, watching people show up. After a few minutes, we figure everyone’s there, and he’s about to start his safety talk when a couple other employees walk up.)

Me: “Too late! You’re dead!”

Manager: “Yep. Blown off to Kansas.”

(The employees start to walk away.)

Me: “Hey! Not too dead to miss the meeting!”

(Everyone laughed as they came back.)