Is This An Office Or A High School?

, , , , | Working | July 22, 2021

Recently, two coworkers and friends had a fight. This scene takes place after their claimed reconciliation.

Coworker #1: “You chose your side quickly, anyway!”

Me: “I didn’t choose my side.”

Coworker #1: “But you went to her first.”

Me: “I was brushing my teeth when I heard her crying. I went to see her.”

Coworker #1: “You could have come to me.”

Me: “I joined you afterward to get your opinion.”

Coworker #1: “You could have come first.”

Me: “You were eating outside. I wasn’t going to ignore her to come and see you and ask her version when she came back while she was next door.”

Coworker #1: “And why not? I always come to see you when you’re at the reception during the break; she doesn’t come.”

I’m normally in the warehouse, but the administration building is the next building, and [Coworker #1] and I fill in for our part-time receptionist when both of them can’t come because we’re the only ones who know how to manage the switchboard.

Me: “She takes [transportation services for disabled people] because she has difficulty walking. I don’t blame her for not forcing herself to walk to see me.”

Of course, their “reconciliation” lasted five days.

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Call… The… Police, Part 2

, , , | Right | June 24, 2021

I’m working at a theme park and it’s as hot as Hell. I’m coming back from my break and passing through the entrance of the ride where all the strollers are parked when I hear something. I approach a stroller and there is a baby inside it! The strollers are not shadowed at all. So basically a parent wanted to do the ride without her baby and left it to cook under the sun alone!

I immediately take the baby to the babycare services and tell them what happened, hoping the shock the parents will have when they can’t find their baby will teach them how to be better parents before child protective services are called!

Then the same thing happened at the carousel! A young girl of maybe three was alone at the entrance. Her mom was in the queue and yelled at me that her daughter didn’t want to go on the carousel so she left her there all alone!

Call… The… Police

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He Wasn’t Corn-Fed Bred

, , , | Right | June 1, 2021

I work in a well-known fast food restaurant in France that specializes in chicken of all sorts. When ordering a menu, a client can ask for fries or a “cobette”. This comes from the word “cob,” but as it is not a French word at all, we usually specify that it means corn.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Restaurant]. What can I get you?”

Customer: “[Item] with [drink] and… what side dish do you have?”

Me: “Fries, salad, or a cobette.”

Customer: “What’s a cobette?”

Me: “It’s what we call corn here.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “What’s corn?”

Cue me and my colleagues trying to explain what corn is to a fifty-year-old man.

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Clearly, Babies Fix Everything!

, , , | Healthy | May 26, 2021

My husband decides to see a therapist to talk mostly about work burnout and how to deal with it. After their first meeting, he comes home looking extremely upset.

Me: “Are you okay?”

Husband: “I am never seeing that whack job again!”

Me: “Yikes! That bad? What happened?”

Husband: “We were going over what my home life is like and I told him you’ve been dealing with depression for almost your whole life… and he told me to get you pregnant so that you would be too busy to worry about yourself!”

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A Good Scam Is All About The Timing

, , , , | Legal | May 9, 2021

I was interested in buying a new smartphone and saw an offer on the website of a mobile carrier. You had to buy the smartphone and then send a form before the limit date to receive a discount.

I bought the smartphone, sent the form, and waited. I received an email from the company saying that, unfortunately, we had sent the form too late.

What made me laugh? They answered before the limit date, so it could not be more obvious they were lying.

My mother wrote them an email threatening to call our country’s Fraud Service and they promptly gave us the discount.

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