Unfiltered Story #98670

, , | Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(Many years ago me, my family and some friends of our family were visiting France from Denmark. My mom had had French back in high school, but she could only remember a few phrases. One morning my mom and her friend decided to go to a local farmers market. Note, my mom was in her late forties at this time).

Mom: *Wanting to buy some cherries from a young guy and not really think.* Umh.. cheri.

(The farmers market guy was visible blushing while his coworker was laughing hysterically.)

Mom: *Now realizing her mistake, also blushing.* No, no cerise, cerise!

(In the end my mom got her cherries in spite of the language barrier. I feel so sorry for that young guy though. He was probably thinking that this older woman was hitting on him.)

Unfiltered Story #92605

, , | Unfiltered | September 3, 2017

At that time I worked for a company which sells computer specifically designed for old people and computer noobs (with a specific user interface very simple, with big buttons and all functionnalities color coded) and did a little lvl2 tech support for them in addition to developpement.
So we get calls from people who had never touch a computer before…

Caller: hello, a messaged appeared when I tried to print something and said that I need to change the cartridge of my printer.
Me: Yes sir, your cartridge must be empty. What is the brand and model of your printer?
Caller : its [brand name]
Me: Allright, and the model? It should be just after the brand on the front or on a white paper panel on the back.
Caller: I don’t find it…
Me: that’s no problem, what color is your printer? (I open a google picture search and look for all printers to find his model)
Caller: Black
Me: Ok, is the printer rather squared or rectangular?
Caller: I don’t know…
Me: is it wider than high?
(after a good 15 minutes of this kind of question, I actually find his model)
Me: Ok, so this model is pretty simple, you just have to go buy a black [Brand] [Model] cartridge, open the little lid in front of the printer (and another 10 minutes of discussion to explain him step by step how to do it) And that’s all
Caller: That’s too much of a hassle! I will just buy a new printer it will be easier!
Me: (after loosing more than 30mn with him for nothing) You could do that sir, but it will cost you much more than just replacing the cartridge!
Caller: It’s not worth the hassle, I don’t want to loose my time! bye!

Thanks for making me loose my time sir…

Unfiltered Story #92603

, , | Unfiltered | September 2, 2017

At that time I worked for a company which sells computer specifically designed for old people and computer noobs (with a specific user interface very simple, with big buttons and all functionnalities color coded) and did a little lvl2 tech support for them in addition to developpement.
So we get calls from people who had never touch a computer before…

Caller: Hello, I have a problem with my printer. I put a color picture and it came out in black and wite
Me: Ok sir, you must have clicked on the wrong button, click on the green tab to go to the printer page. Then you click on the “do a color copy” button and not the other one labelled “black and white copy”. It should print you a copy of your picture in color as you wanted to.
Caller: No, you don’t understand, my picture is black and white now.
Me: What do you mean? the printer printed a black and white copy of your picture, that’s right?
Caller: No, the picture I put in the printer is black and white!
Me: So… You put a black and white picture and want to copy it in color???
Caller: No! you don’t understand! I put a colored picture in the printer and that picture is now black and white! I want it colored like before! You ruined my picture!
Me: You are telling me that you put a colored picture in your printer and that your original picture has changed to black and white?
Caller: At least! You youngster don’t understand a simple thing! That’s what I’m saying from the begining!
Me: Sir, this is impossible…
Caller: I assure you that my picture is now black and white! you f***ed up an old family picture, that’s innaceptable!
Me: Sir, could you please open the lid of the printer in order to see the glass panel that is in there.
Caller: Oh, there is my picture
Me: Is it still in color
Caller: Humm… Yes… Bye *Click*

This Museum Is A Snore

, , , , | Related | August 11, 2017

(I am really sick when we go on a family vacation to Paris but I want to push it down and go to the Louvre. After walking all over the Louvre for the day I am exhausted but finally we make it to a sign advertising the Mona Lisa down the mile-long hallway. This happens when we got out of the gallery.)

Dad & Sister #1: “We just looked at the other paintings; they were beautiful!”

Mom & Sister #2: “We only got to see the Mona Lisa for a second before another couple shoved us out of the way, but we still got pictures!”

All of Them: “What did you do, [My Name]?”

Me: *blinking blearily* “Well, first I sat on the bench at the front of the gallery and then, I’m pretty sure I fell asleep for half an hour.”

Needling Past The Obvious

, , , | Working | June 21, 2017

(One of my friends needs to have her blood drawn for a medical analysis. My friend wears a lot of piercings on her face.)

Me: *to my friend when she gets out* “Was everything okay?”

Friend: “Oh, yes! But something funny happened.”

Me & Girlfriend: “What?”

Friend: “The nurse saw my face, and still asked me if I was afraid of needles.”