Sinfully Delicious

, , , , , | Friendly | September 16, 2017

(I am the cub scout leader for a group of awesome, if rambunctious, third graders. One of the requirements is that they discuss with their parents what their “Duty to God” is. They have to come up with a list of ways they can practice their beliefs, whatever those are. I am going around the room, asking what they came up with.)

Scout #1: “I put down going to Temple on high holy days.”

Me: “Excellent example!”

Scout #2: “I want to make my first communion.”

Me: “That’s another good example.”

Scout #2: “…so I can EAT GOD!”

Good Advice Is Poison To His Ears

, , , , | Friendly | July 13, 2017

(Every few months or so, our troop has to clean out and organize the trailer containing our camp supplies. Some poison ivy has started growing at the back of the trailer, but it’s out of the way.)

Friend: “I’m gonna try and clear out that poison ivy.”

Scoutmaster: “You don’t need to do that. It’s out of the way, and it’s best to have a professional deal with it.”

Me: “Yeah, and you don’t want to end up catching poison ivy… again!”

Friend: “I have gloves and clippers. I’m not gonna touch it.”

Scoutmaster: “That doesn’t matter. You can still catch it if it gets on your clothes.”

Friend: “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry.”

(Whenever he gets his mind set on things like this, it’s almost impossible to try and talk him out of it.)

Me: *sigh* “Your funeral.”

(He managed to clear out the poison ivy, while I tried to stay away from him. After we’re back home, I noticed I’m starting to breakout. I called him up to yell at him only for his mother to inform me that he was far worse. He ended up missing school for a couple of days because it got all over his face, causing his eyes to swell shut.)