A customer wanted to buy a 25p eraser. It was only a tiny thing; it could fit at the end of a pencil. He could have easily put it in his wallet.

Customer: “Where’s my bag?”

Me: “You want a bag for the eraser?”

Customer: “I made a purchase; I should get a bag!”

Me: “We’re actually out of the small bags, and I assumed—”

Customer: “—you should never assume! It makes an a** out of you and me!”

Me: “You know what, sir? You’re absolutely right.”

I pull out the only bags I have accessible at my checkout; our very largest bags designed for bulky items and capable of covering size A1 packs of paper (594 x 841 mm, or 23.4 x 33.1 inches).

Customer: “You don’t have anything smaller?”

Me: “As I was going to say, sir, the sign at the entrance to the checkouts states we’re currently out of all our bag sizes, except our largest, but I shouldn’t assume that you didn’t read that.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous!” *Storms off, sans bag.*

Related:
Baggage About A Lack Of Baggage, Part 3
Baggage About A Lack Of Baggage, Part 2
Baggage About A Lack Of Baggage

A few years ago, part of my job was to travel around and install/repair equipment that we either leased or sold to other companies. I enjoyed the traveling, but still didn’t want to be on the road for longer than necessary.

If I were driving and within a couple of hours of home, I would drive through lunch, get close to home, and get some fast food locally to take home and eat off the clock. I did this for a long time, and no one ever said anything to me.

One day, I was called into HR with my boss and asked why I bought food on the company credit card in the same city where I live. I told them it was because I skipped lunch to get off the road sooner and get off the clock so as not to waste their money or the customer’s. They told me that I’m not allowed to do that anywhere close to home. I asked how far out was not considered local, and they gave me some vague description, but I had an idea.

Since I got paid the entire time I was traveling, I decided to comply and would not eat near my city. Rather than get fast food and eat at home, I would stop at restaurants, sometimes fast food and sometimes a sit-down restaurant, take my time, eat, and then get back on the road. This made it so I was still using the company credit card to pay for my food while still on the clock the entire time.

Total, it probably added an hour or so to my traveling, counting getting off the road, finding somewhere to eat, ordering, eating, and getting back on the road.

I don’t think they ever noticed, but they never mentioned it to me again.

I’m a nanny for a small agency, and I love my job so much. Except when I don’t…

Yesterday I took care of a four-year-old girl, a two-year-old boy, and a five-month-old boy. 

I know kids at this age have enough energy to make the world stop spinning, and they tend not to listen… but d*** these kids were TERRIBLE. No control of themselves at all. There was paint on my dress, I was hit by glass cups, and plates were thrown at me, and my glasses were covered in jelly. The kids were purposefully coughing in my face, and I had some spit on me (I think they were sick too, ugh).

I lost my cool, and I had to issue timeouts and separate the kids when they fought. I cleaned the messes and took the toys and TV away from the kids. I record this so that the parents know what happened. When I told their mom:

Mom: “Do NOT parent MY kids. YOU’RE NOT THEIR MOM!”

I was taken aback, but if that’s what Mom wants, then alright.

The next day, Mom left to go to work, and I let the kids go ham in the house. There’s a mess everywhere, and I’m not even being bothered. Hit me with a glass? I hope it breaks.

The five-month-old is really the one I’m caring for, and I’m making sure he’s safe throughout all this. 

The mom came home and was APPALLED at the house. The cut on my hand (from me being stupid on Thanksgiving) was torn back open because of the kids, and it needs to be patched. My hair was covered in peanut butter. My leather shoes are in need of being cleaned and polished. And so, so, so much more.

I put the baby to sleep and walked out.

Mom: *Screaming.* “I’m gonna get you fired!”

I said nothing. She also followed me to my car, shouting:

Mom: “You’re gonna pay for the damage to my home!”

I blacklisted her. Never again am I going back to that house.

Later, I was on the phone with the agency and the mom. The family’s contract was voided, plus the mom will pay for my medical bill to patch up my hand, clean my clothes, and clean my glasses!

We have a family flying with us today, parents and two kids. They’re sitting in the middle four seats of the row. Usually, when families do this, the kids are in the middle, with the parents in the aisle seats. This family has chosen to have the parents sit next to each other, with the kids next to each other on the other side of the four seats.

The parents fall asleep almost immediately after takeoff. Kids, being kids, get bored and look for things to do. One of those, is pressing buttons, specifically the button to summon a flight attendant.

Me: “Hi, are you kids okay?”

Kids: *Giggling and becoming shy.*

Me: “Haha, I know the button is fun, but it’s only to be pressed if you need us for something, okay? It’s not for playing.”

No harm done, I go and start another task, when I hear the ‘ping’ of the flight attendant button go again. It’s the kids again.

Me: “Did you kids need anything? Water?”

Kids: *Giggling and becoming shy again.*

Me: “Okay, well remember, this isn’t for play, okay? You need to stop pressing it.”

I get maybe a minute into something else, when: 

PING!

Me: “Kids, you need to stop or I’m going to have to tell your parents.”

I said this part louder than usual. The mom wakes up from her slumber, as I had intended.

Mom: “What the h*** are you saying to my kids!?”

Me: “Ma’am, I was asking them to stop pressing the attendant call button. They’ve been pressing it repeatedly to play with, but responding to it is part of our job, and—”

Mom: “—you f****** woke me up for that?! They’re f****** kids! Let them play!”

Me: “Ma’am, please don’t swear. The button is designed for—”

Mom: “—Just ignore it then for f***s sake.”

You know what? She had a point. Once the attendant button for a seat has been pressed, it won’t un-alight and ‘ping’ again until a flight attendant has come and reset it. As a team, we agreed to let the pings for those four seats not be reset.

For the rest of the flight.

When the parents woke up and saw that they couldn’t use the attendant button, they tried flagging us down as we walked past.

Coworker #1: “Sorry, ma’am, I’m just responding to an attendant call button.”

Coworker #2: ” Sorry, sir, I’m just seeing to a passenger who called ahead of you.”

They had to sheepishly walk to the back of the plane, where we were preparing the final meal, to ask for something. When I came back to her seat with what she asked for, I looked up at the attendant call light, considered resetting it, and thought better of it before walking away. The look on the mom’s face indicated she did not agree with my decision, but had nothing to say for it.

I got a caller this morning who started mad and yelling. I can’t even remember what her complaint was about, but she seemed to be mad about everything. After I’ve suggested multiple resolutions:

Caller: “You know what? Just cancel my service. You’re all terrible.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, well, since your twelve-month contract has expired, I’ll be able to do that for you.”

Caller: “You’re not even going to transfer me to some kind of retention team, huh?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I can do that for you right now. There, all done. Your refund for the unused service for the remainder of the month is $9, and the cancellation papers will come in the mail.”

Caller: *Surprised.* “Huh? You cancelled it?! Why?”

Me: “…you told me to.”

Caller: “When someone calls to cancel, you guys have to make my service cheaper or sweeten the deal to get me to stay! You did none of that!”

Me: “Ma’am, you made it very clear you disliked every aspect of our service. No amount of retention strategy could help you—”

Caller: “—I was making all that s*** up for you to give me the best deal! Uncancel me! Put me back!”

Me: “I’m afraid once the cancellation has been activated, I can’t undo it. However, you can buy a new policy; however, the rates have increased to [25% more than her original contract] and the new minimum contracts are twenty-four months. Shall I sign you up?”

Caller: *Click.*