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We Love A Manager Who Can Address The Issue

, , , , , | Right | October 8, 2026

I am a manager at a pizza place. One evening, a customer calls absolutely livid about a problem with her pizzas.

Customer: “This is completely unacceptable! I want you to fix this!”

Me: “I’m sorry about the problem, ma’am. Let me see what I can do.”

I spend several minutes offering every solution available to me, but she refuses all of them.

Me: “I’m trying to resolve this for you, but you’ve rejected every option I’ve offered. What would you like me to do?”

Customer: “I want your name.”

Me: “My name is [My Name], and this is store number [number].”

Customer: “Now give me your address.”

Me: “Our address is [Store Address].”

Customer: “No! I want your home address so I can make sure I mention the right person.”

Me: “You are crazy if you think I’m giving you my home address.”

She starts ranting and cussing, so I hang up. A few moments later, she calls back and gets my manager instead.

Customer: “The person I just spoke to refused to give me his home address. I need it so I can identify him properly in my complaint.”

My Manager: “Certainly. His home address is 100 Not Happening Lane, Yikesborough; it’s the house past all the red flags.”

Then he hangs up too.

We Choose, You Lose

, , , , , , , , , , | Right | October 7, 2026

For background, our store had display-only boxes for certain high-theft items. The premise was simple: put them on the shelf, the customer takes it off the shelf, finds a staff member/bring it to the front cashier, and we ask the shift manager to check the back.

The drugstore I worked at had these boxes for oral care (i.e., electric toothbrushes and their heads, and in this story’s case, whitening strips). Each of those items had one or two things that made them different from each other, and so people would look for them. Otherwise, if it was on sale, people would try to ask us if they could buy it.

A customer comes up to me with a huge order. No biggie; we were really slow at the time anyway. I scan his stuff, bag it, and ask how he would like to pay.

Customer: “Actually, I need to buy some whitening strips.”

Me: “Oh. Okay, that’s fine.”

We stare at each other uncomfortably.

Me: “Did… did you take the display box from the shelf?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, it wasn’t there?”

Customer: “Well, I thought you guys would’ve had it behind the counter.”

Me: “We, uh, don’t.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, you guys would know what I need.”

Me: “Uh, dude, we have a bunch of whitening strips, and they have different uses. I can ask the manager to bring up the ones we have, and you can—”

Customer: “No, can you guys grab an empty box from the shelf for me instead?”

Me: “I mean, what I said is easier and—”

Customer: “Nah, you’ll know which one I need.”

I am honestly baffled by this customer’s… well, actually, I can’t even think of the best way to describe this. I try radioing a stocker; unfortunately, he was too busy flirting with one of the cosmeticians (indicated by him looking at me from the perfume department and mockingly shaking his head at me). Annoyed, I decided just to embark on this customer’s quest to… find a fitting whitening strip for him?

In the aisle, I’m looking at the display boxes and wondering to myself just what possessed this customer to assume that we would know which one we needed when something caught my eye. It was our store brand’s whitening strips.

Now, the other brands were on sale, while the store brand wasn’t. However, the other brand’s prices were roughly $30 to $34, while the store brand’s were $35. Not that much of a price difference, but still a higher price for generic quality-especially since the strips that were on sale were the higher-quality ones.

It’s at this point I knew what to do.

Me: “[Shift Manager], come in?”

Shift Manager: “What’s up?”

Me: “Can you see if we have store brand whitening strips in the back, and if we do, bring a pack to the front counter?”

Shift Manager: “Store brand? Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, store brand, please. Also, can you check on [Stocker]; I radioed him earlier, and he hasn’t answered!”

Shift Manager: “Got it, I’ll meet you at the front.”

I head back to the front, where [Customer] was waiting.

Customer: “Is it coming?”

Me: “Sure is, he’s coming with them in a moment.”

No sooner had I said this, [Shift Manager] came up to me with a box of store-brand whitening strips. He handed them to me.

Shift Manager: “Here you go; luckily, we had a bunch in the back! Now if you’ll excuse me, I saw [Stocker] goofing off again and have something to ask of him.” *Turns to leave.*

I scan the whitening strips and throw them into a bag. At this point, [Customer] is looking at both the whitening strips and the price in confusion. He turns to me and is prepared to say something, but stops himself.

Me: “How would you like to pay today?”

The customer simply pays and leaves with his bags. He stops, takes his receipt and the whitening strips out, looks at both of them again, and slinks off in defeat.

I never saw the customer again, nor did I know if he ever bought any more whitening strips the more practical way, or if he returned the ones I figured would fit him. What I do know is that [Shift Manager] forced [Stocker] to stay in the perfume department, help any customer that came by, and put out the order of perfume and makeup that came in that day.

[Cosmetician], meanwhile, was mysteriously absent while [Stocker] was there, but always came back to cash out customers before disappearing again, to [Stocker]’s chagrin and [Cosmetician]’s and mine’s amusement.

Choose Your Battles To Avoid Email Fails And Taxing Faxings

, , , | Right | October 6, 2026

I remember this story from my youth that I think belongs on this site:

Customer: “How much do you charge to send faxes?”

Me: “That’s [price] for local and [higher price] for long distance.”

Customer: “Hmm, how much for scanning and emailing the document instead?”

Me: “That’s fifty cents.”

Customer: “And what’s the price for long-distance emailing?”

Me: “…For you, ma’am, I’ll keep it at fifty cents.”

She was very pleased with her special deal!

Related:
Email Fail, Part 56

Email Fail, Part 55
Email Fail, Part 54
Email Fail, Part 53
Email Fail, Part 52
Taxing Faxing, Part 45
Taxing Faxing, Part 44
Taxing Faxing, Part 43

Taxing Faxing, Part 42
Taxing Faxing, Part 41

Conditions May Apply, Literacy May Vary

, , , , , | Right | October 6, 2026

A customer hands me a coupon while I’m ringing up their purchase. I scan it, but the register rejects it.

Me: “I’m sorry, but this coupon expired last week.”

Customer: “Just put it through anyway.”

Me: “I can’t. The coupon is no longer valid.”

Customer: “Where does it say that?”

I point to the bottom of the coupon.

Me: “Right here. It says it expired on [date].”

Customer: “That’s in the terms and conditions. Nobody reads terms and conditions, so they shouldn’t apply.”

Me: “The terms and conditions on this coupon are only two sentences. One gives the expiry date, and the other says it can only be used once per purchase, per customer. It’s not exactly a crazy amount of small print.”

Customer: “You can’t expect everyone to be able to read! That’s incredibly elitist of you.”

Me: “Okay. I’ll process your ten-percent-off coupon for you.”

Customer: “Hey! It’s a twenty-percent-off coupon!”

Me: “Oh, so you can read?”

Be Kind, Pretend To Rewind

, , , , | Right | October 6, 2026

I used to work at a movie store when those were still a thing. One day, an elderly woman approaches the counter to return a DVD.

Customer: “I need to return this, but I couldn’t rewind it. How much is the fee?”

Me: “There isn’t a fee, ma’am. DVDs don’t need to be rewound.”

Customer: “Of course they do. Otherwise, the next person will have to start watching from the end.”

Me: “That’s how videotapes worked. A DVD always starts from the beginning because it doesn’t contain any tape.”

Customer: “Young man, just because I’m old doesn’t mean you have to pander to me.”

Me: “I’m not pandering to you. It genuinely doesn’t need rewinding.”

Customer: “I tried to find the rewind button on my DVD player, but there wasn’t one.”

Me: “That’s because—”

Customer: “—If you can’t be bothered to explain it to me, just say so.”

I try explaining it several different ways, but she remains convinced that I’m only saying it because I think she’s too old to understand. In the end, I just said:

Me: “I guess the rewind button on your DVD player must be missing. Tell you what, I’ll do it for you, and I’ll waive the fee.”

Customer: “Oh, you will? That’s so kind. I appreciate it, young man!”