Wasn’t Banking On You Being Open

, , , , , | Right | September 30, 2020

I’m a teller at a bank. It’s the middle of the health crisis, so we don’t have many customers coming in. One coworker and I are sitting behind the counter. The door opens.

Customer: “Oh, sorry. I’m just checking if you’re open.” *Leaves*

My coworker and I shared confused looks.

In A State Of Confusion, Part 8

, , , , | Right | September 30, 2020

I work in a tourist gift store, so most customers are tourists. The customer is paying for something with exact change and I notice that they hand me a Vermont state quarter.

Me: “Oh, did you want to keep this as a souvenir and give me another quarter? This is a Vermont quarter!”

Customer: “Vermont has its own currency?!”

I said nothing and took the quarter. 

Related:
In A State Of Confusion, Part 7
In A State Of Confusion, Part 6
In A State Of Confusion, Part 5
In A State Of Confusion, Part 4
In A State Of Confusion, Part 3

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Our Fingers, Much Like Their Wires, Are Crossed

, , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2020

I recently signed up for cheap Internet service, and when I receive the modem for self-installation, I see that the ethernet cord doesn’t fit the telephone line jack I have at my home. I see in the installation manual that there is a converter that would allow me to not use an ethernet cord which, therefore, is probably the only way I can use the modem at my house.

I call them and realize I am getting what I paid for: not a whole lot.

They can’t find my account for half an hour, and I see they have put the wrong phone number on the sheet that came with the modem. They don’t have my email on file and they can’t find it with my name or address, despite me having a modem at my house with my name and, obviously, my address on the label. Thankfully, I wrote down the confirmation code and it only takes me suggesting it a couple of times before the rep accepts it and is able to find my account.

Then, I spent another hour and a half trying to get the poor gentleman on the phone to understand that the ethernet cable doesn’t fit at my home and that sending another one to me isn’t going to work.

Seriously, after being on the call for an hour and a half, I ask to talk to his manager who then takes half an hour to get on the phone. When he finally does, I am hoping for the best, but he listens to my problem and confidently suggests that he send out another ethernet cord. A part of me dies inside at that moment 

That was yesterday. Today, I am waiting for a call from them because they had an issue with my account and still couldn’t find two IQ points to rub together and get me the converter I needed for my Internet modem. Wish me luck!

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This Customer Is A Pain In His Own Back(side)

, , , | Healthy | September 30, 2020

A customer in his seventies hobbles to the window. I start processing some papers and we do some small talk in the process.

Customer: “My back has been killing me for the past week. I couldn’t even walk if I wasn’t on [painkiller].”

Me: “That’s actually the same brand I use. It’s quite effective.”

Customer: “I do hope so. I took four this morning but it has done me no good so far. I might have to take more.”

Me: “That’s unfort— Wait, how many did you say you took?” 

Customer: “Four, why?”

Me: “Um, sir, the recommended dose for [painkiller] is two, twice a day. Four in total. Did you just take four all in one go?!”

Customer: “Well, I assumed since I was in a lot of pain I could double the dose.”

Me: “Doubling the dose would mean seriously overdosing on paracetamol. I wouldn’t do that.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. Yesterday, I took ten in total and it still did nothing.”

I ended up calling an ambulance on him!

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Maybe He Didn’t Have Any Other References?

, , , , , , | Working | September 29, 2020

We have a rule at my office that if another company asks for references for a former employee, we can say all the good stuff we want but can never say anything bad. We have one guy that I liked, but he is fired for incompetence. I get this phone call.

Employer: “How did you like working with [Fired Guy]?

Me: “Oh, yeah, he was a great guy!”

Employer: “Did he do quality work as an engineer?”

Me: “Um, I’m going to have to refer you to our company controller in Little Rock.”

Employer: “Oh, I see. Well, thank you very much.”

Later, [Fired Guy] storms into the office.

Fired Guy: “You guys left me with egg on my face! [Manager] wouldn’t talk to him, either! He said he had to go catch an airplane!”

Me: “Sorry, company rules!” 

I couldn’t help thinking, “Why would you use us for a reference after getting fired?”

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