When They’re Honolulu-Delulu
This story reminded me of a conversation I had with one of my friends who lived in California a while ago. It went pretty much like this.
Friend: “Yeah, we plan on coming down probably sometime next year.”
Me: “Oh? What month? We’re going to be at a wedding in Missouri later in the year.”
Friend: “I’ve been watching the prices for the tickets, I’m going to try and buy them when you are closest.”
Me: “Closest?”
Friend: “Yeah, closest to us? That way, the tickets are cheaper.”
Me: “What do you mean… what do you mean, closest to you?”
Friend: “Like, when you’re closer to us.”
Me: “I’m not following.”
Friend: “When Hawaii is closer to California?”
Me: “What… what do you mean closer?”
Friend: “What do you mean what do you mean?”
Me: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?”
Friend: “When you guys are closest!”
Me: “Do you think we are out here just FLOATING AROUND the Pacific Ocean!?”
Friend: “YOU ARE!”
Me: “WE ARE NOT!”
Friend: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE NOT!?”
Me: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE NOT!?”
Friend: “Tell me what you are doing if you aren’t floating.”
Me: “Hawaii, the islands of Hawaii, are the tops of PART of an underwater mountain range called the Hawaiian-Emperor Seamount Chain, which formed due to undersea volcanic activity.”
Friend: “Mountains don’t grow under water, dude.”
Me: “Mountains don’t grow… under water…”
Friend: “No! Of course not, how would they?”
Me: “Tell me how mountains grow in the first place.”
Friend: “They just… I don’t know, they just… they… they just do.”
Me: “Look, I’ll… I’ll do some research and get back to you on when our tickets might be the cheapest, but I need to go recharge my brain after this conversation.”
Friend: “I’m going to go research these mountains! These “supposed” underwater mountains.”
This conversation was several years ago, and he did end up looking up those underwater mountains. With no ADHD medication in his system to stop him, he ended up falling down the rabbit hole on marine research and never stopped.
He is now a traveling marine biologist and ocean researcher. As I type and submit this story, he is literally out on a research ship somewhere that I will never see in my life, studying something I will never understand. He sends pictures every now and then.