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Then How Do You… GAH!

, , , | Right | December 4, 2021

I’m working in a restaurant and I get a phone call.

Customer: “I’d like to make an order for delivery.”

Me: “Okay, can I have your address, please?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you that! That’s personal information!”

Alco-Popped Their Bubble

, , , , , , , , | Right | December 3, 2021

I am the deputy manager of a liquor store. In the UK, one can purchase alcohol for your own consumption from the age of eighteen, but it is illegal to purchase alcohol on behalf of a minor.

A woman enters and is shortly followed by two girls dressed in full school uniforms. As the woman browses, the two girls walk to the counter I am standing at and, as I look on in bemusement, review our selection of alcopops. Then, the woman joins them at the counter and asks them what they want. In full view of the CCTV cameras and me, the girls literally stand and point out what they want.

Customer: “I’ll have two of your large bottles of [Alcopop], too.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, but I have to refuse that sale unless the two young ladies accompanying you can show me their IDs.”

Customer: “What?! That’s outrageous! Why?!”

Me: “Well, I have to remind you that it is illegal to buy alcohol on behalf of a minor.”

Customer: “They are my daughters! They can drink in my home if I tell them they can, and who are you to say that they can’t?!”

Me: “Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing that they are your daughters. What I do have is CCTV footage — which will be reviewed by the police — that shows school children selecting alcohol for you to buy them. There is no way I could process this sale and keep my job.”

Customer: “This is outrageous. I’m just going to go and buy the same things at a different location.”

And then they stormed off. I later learned that there is, in fact, a provision in law where children of a certain age under eighteen can drink alcohol at home under the supervision of their legal guardian, but who thinks sending in children in full school uniform to buy booze is a good idea?!

Brunch = Brain Crunch

, , , , | Working | December 3, 2021

I’m at a restaurant with the option to order at your table through a mobile device. While browsing the menu, I see an entry labeled “Brunch Special” with no other description. Curious, I flag down the nearest staff person, a busser.

Me: “Hi, can you tell me what the brunch special is?”

Busser: “Oh, uh, I don’t think we do brunch specials here. I’m not sure what that is. We do have something that we’re only serving today, though.”

Me: “Great. What is it?”

Busser: “I don’t know. I’ll find your waitress.”

The waitress comes over. I repeat my question about the brunch special.

Waitress: “I don’t know what that is on the menu. We don’t do brunch specials. There is something that’s only available today. Would you like to hear about that?”

Me: “Sure, yes.”

The not-brunch-special-special turned out to be pineapple upside-down pancakes, and yes, they were only available that day, for brunch.

Actions Have Consequences?! WHAT?!

, , , , , , | Working | December 3, 2021

I was due to emigrate, but unfortunately, things were delayed. After a while, with money tight, I took a temporary job, any job I could find. It was particularly hard to find part-time work as no one wanted to hire an engineering manager to stack shelves or flip burgers.

But I found a supermarket nearby and got the job.

I’m pretty used to working hard in every job I do, so I did the same in this role. I was the first one there and the last one out. I took any job and task just to keep busy. I wasn’t trying to impress; it’s just the person I am.

I got a lot of hate from my coworkers; they saw me as a suck-up and a try-hard, no matter how much I tried to explain. But truly, I didn’t care what they said. In a month or two, I would be gone; they could hate me if they wanted for a while.

On the other hand, the management loved me; I didn’t call in sick, I worked without complaint, and I did as many hours as I could. In turn, I got the first pick on hours which, again, didn’t make me popular. 

Coworker: “Oh, I see someone got the weekend shift again.”

I ignore him.

Coworker: “Why is that, huh? Huh, bootlicker?”

Me: “Oh, talking to me? Well, if I had to guess, don’t be a massive screw-up who makes the same mistakes day in, day out.”

Coworker: “Mr. Perfect doesn’t make mistakes? Oh, why can’t we all be like Mr. Perfect?”

Me: “You put the stock in the right aisle; it’s not rocket science. How you manage to screw it up so often is beyond me.”

One of the managers walks in behind [Coworker]. I shut up. [Coworker] doesn’t.

Coworker: “Oh, so easy, that’s why you couldn’t do your own job? Why is it they fired you from your fancy engineering job?”

Manager: “[Coworker]!”

Coworker: “Some dumba** comes down here and sucks the d**k of these f***y, stupid, idiot managers.”

Manager: “[Coworker]!”

Coworker: *Finally turning around* “What? Oh, look who’s getting in trouble again!”

[Coworker] was led away; he didn’t return. With [Coworker] gone, the atmosphere changed, and suddenly, everyone was a lot friendlier. I made a few friends before I left. It’s amazing what one person can do to make life so difficult.

What’s The Opposite Of Blowing Things Out Of Proportion?

, , , , | Right | CREDIT: smohk1 | December 3, 2021

In the late 1990s, the store I was working at had a bomb threat called in. The manager got off the phone and called me and the other senior shift person into the office.

Manager: “We need to evacuate the store until it can be searched by the police, bomb squad, and such.”

[Manager], my coworker, and I went to the front and announced that everyone needed to leave the store for safety reasons and meet in the parking lot. We got everyone outside, most people left in their vehicles, and the employees were congregated in a small corner of the lot.

A customer approached us.

Customer: “I know there is a fire or bomb threat or something…but can one of you go in the store and get my jacket that I left?”

After we stared at them with open mouths for a bit, we told them they would have to come back later and get it… if the store was still standing.