Black Friday So Popular It Now Starts On A Tuesday

, , , , , | Right | October 18, 2019

I am the customer. It is the day after I turned 54. Late on the evening of my birthday, I fell over an uneven sidewalk, resulting in scrapes and bruises. While I did not hit my head, I think trauma from the fall is my only excuse for what happened here.

As I’m checking out, I notice a sign about how age 55 and over get a discount on the first Tuesday of the month and comment that in a year, I’ll have to start shopping on Tuesday. The cashier mentions that, during the holidays, the discount is every Tuesday. My response: “That’ll be especially good in years when Black Friday falls on a Tuesday!” 

Maybe I was thinking of the day after Christmas?

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Unfiltered Story #172074

, , | Unfiltered | October 18, 2019

I am a bartender at a sushi bar conveyor belt. Since the conveyor belt is what attracts people in and the bar is full service, the bar tends to be pretty slow. One night I do get a couple in the bar. I am 24 years old, but I still get mistaken for a high schooler since I look pretty young.

Guy: I bet you can’t drink alcohol.

Me: (confused) Um yeah, I can. I taste all of my drinks that I make.

Guy: (skeptical) So then, what is your favorite liquor to drink?

Me: Whiskey.

Guy: But what kind?

Me: Crown.

Guy: (scoffs) Yeah right. Typical answer. You look like you just came out of high school. Let me see your ID.

Me: I am 24 years old and I am married. (shows him my wedding rings) And I would not be able to be a bartender if I was not over 21.

It’s Nuts To Go Without Coconuts

, , , | Right | October 17, 2019

(I work at a bakery that’s famous for its coconut cream pie. We sell the pie four different ways: full-sized, baby, slices, and little individual bites. It’s nearing the end of the day and it’s getting slow, so my coworker has gone upstairs to do restock and I’m left puttering around behind the counter, doing various little pieces of side-work. A very well-dressed woman in her fifties or sixties comes in and I greet her.)

Customer: “I heard you’re famous for your coconut cream pie!”

Me: “Yep! It’s the favorite, for sure. We sell it at all the locations in [Company].”

Customer: “I have a question about it.”

(It’s tourist season, and has been for about a month, and it’s not unusual for non-locals to want to know about the pie. I figure it will be one of the standard questions, like what makes it a TRIPLE coconut cream pie, etc.) 

Me: “Ask away!”

Customer: “What does coconut taste like?”

Me: *pause* “What?”

(I think she is joking at first, but eventually, I realize she isn’t. Because I have no idea how to even begin to explain the flavor of coconut, I start asking her if she’s ever eaten anything with coconut in it — Almond Joys, macaroons, Sno-Balls, doughnuts with coconut flakes — but she apparently has not.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m really not sure how to explain the flavor. But I can go and ask the pastry kitchen if they have any coconut flakes lying around so you can try them?”

Customer: “No, thanks! I’ll just get the pie bite.”

(I gave her the bite and rung her up, and she happily left. I still have no idea if she somehow managed to go through her entire life without eating coconut or if she was making a joke in the most deadpan way possible. It’s definitely one of the most bemusing customer experiences I’ve had to date. Honestly, it’s a small miracle that I didn’t just laugh in her face when she asked the question.)

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Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 34

, , , | Right | October 16, 2019

(I have gotten a new job with a store that is opening at the mall. We have just finished setting everything up and are gathered around the cash wrap for a store meeting with our district manager. The mall made us take the paper off our windows, so you can see into the store.)

District Manager: “Okay, guys, great job getting everything set so quickly! Before we go, though, I have to—”

Customer: *opens our closed door, walks in, and starts shopping*

Coworker: “Uh, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, my. You aren’t open yet, are you?”

District Manager: “No, that would be tomorrow. We’ll be open all day.”

Customer: “Oh, okay.” *slowly leaves*

Me: “Who sees a bunch of employees standing behind two obviously closed doors and thinks it’s a good idea to walk in?”

District Manager: “Who knows?”

(We had two more people try to walk in after that.)

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 33
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 32
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 31

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Unfiltered Story #169601

, , , | Unfiltered | October 14, 2019

I’m the baker at a big chain in seattle, and have just put out samples of chocolate covered rice crispy treats. We are legally obligated to cover the samples, and to put a sign up that says “Sample includes milk, eggs, nuts” etc if it does, and a sign that says “sample, try me”.

A woman approaches the counter where a covered see through container with the samples is sitting.

Woman: Are these samples?
me: ….yes.
Woman: can I try them?
me: ….yes…
woman: OH, it’s just there was a lid on the container…so
My face nearly cracked in half trying to keep a smile on it, instead of rolling my eyes into the back of my head.