An Hour In Customer Service Is A Relative Unit

, , , , , | Right | May 13, 2021

Me: “Thank you for calling the service desk. This is [My Name].”

User: “Finally! Do you know how long we’ve been waiting?”

Me: “Seven minutes, fifty-three seconds.”

User: “No, it’s been an hour!”

Admittedly, depending on which helpline they called first, they could have been pushing buttons and gotten into a loop, but it’s less likely. The other main hotline users have access to is an HR line and they have about three options that will reroute to us due to password resets.

Me: “Which number did you call?”

User: “We’ve been waiting for an hour!”

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And Then, After A Pregnant Pause…

, , , , , , | Friendly | May 13, 2021

My toddler and I are at a park with a good friend of mine and her toddler. We’ve been friends for almost twenty years at this point. We both want another child, and a couple of weeks ago we lamented to each other how we hadn’t had any success getting pregnant. Just yesterday, though, I took a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I know my friend will be happy for me but disappointed for herself, so for the hour we’ve been at the park, I’ve been trying to find a good way to tell her.

Then, out of the blue, as we’re pushing our toddlers on the swings, she says:

Friend: “So… I have some news. I’m pregnant.” 

She’d been having the same dilemma I had and was trying to figure out how to be sensitive to me! It turned out we were due two days apart and had both been pregnant but hadn’t known yet when we were talking about wanting second children. Our babies were born within a week of each other, and she’s my second child’s godmother. All our kids get along well, and we take family camping trips with them nearly every summer. I’m very lucky to have such a good friend in my life.

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The Whole World Revolves Around Them Like A Pizza

, , , , | Right | May 11, 2021

This happens the day of the huge National Football championship game, so naturally, this take-and-bake pizza place is crazy busy. I am waiting patiently with at least ten to fifteen other customers when this lady starts complaining.

Customer: “When is my order going to be ready?”

Employee: “Ma’am, we’re making them as fast as we can. We’ll call your name when it’s ready.”

Customer: “But I called in my order specifically so I wouldn’t have to wait.”

Employee: “So did a lot of other people. We’re making them in the order we get them.”

Customer: *Throwing up her hands in exasperation* “Where’s the manager?”

Everyone in the waiting area is now visibly uncomfortable. The manager, who has been making the pizzas right alongside his employees, steps up to the counter.

Manager: “What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you haven’t made my order yet. I called ahead so you should be making mine first.”

Manager: “I understand, but a lot of other people called in their orders before you and we make them in the order we receive them.”

Customer: “But I called ahead. Why are you making all these other people’s orders before mine?”

Manager: “Like I said, we’re making them in the order we get them and we’ve had a lot of orders called in. We’re working as fast as we can.”

Me: “Lady, we’re all waiting, same as you. Yelling isn’t gonna make them go faster.”

She glares at me and grudgingly decides to cancel her order. After several more minutes of her fuming while the manager cancels the order and refunds her money, she stomps out.

Manager: “Thank you. You would not believe the day we’ve had.”

Me: “I can imagine. Take your time. It’s just pizza.”

After about another hour of waiting, I got my order and made sure to leave a big tip. I just hope they all got a good relaxing break after dealing with all that. They looked absolutely exhausted.

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Not What They Meant By Networking With The Manager

, , , , , | Right | May 11, 2021

I work internal IT for a big retail company. With everything going on lately, we’ve transitioned to mostly work-from-home for all our corporate users.

User: “I have a laptop, but I need to learn a new software, so I got another laptop and I can’t sign in.”

Me: “Is it a [Company] laptop or a personal one? And is this a Windows or a Mac?”

User: “It’s the laptop; I think it’s Windows.”

Me: “How did you get this laptop? Did it come from asset management?”

User: “Um, no. It came from a coworker.”

Me: “Okay, unfortunately, you won’t be able to sign on from home the first time. You’ll need to get it on the network so it can talk to your account. I know some of the corporate offices are closed, so if you can get to one of the stores, that’ll work, too.”

User: “I have my manager’s approval to use this.”

Me: “I understand that, but if the computer isn’t on the network then it can’t grab your account information.”

User: “Would it change if my manager talked to that asset whatever team?”

Me: “Unfortunately, not really. Even if they said this situation was one where they could make the change to allow the first-time login from home, they’d still need to get it on the network in order to update the account.”

User: “Are you sure? My manager said I could use it.”

Me: “I understand that; however, it still needs to talk to the network to verify your account.”

User: “But the coworker who gave this to me should still be able to sign in, right?”

Me: “As long as they know the most recent password that this workstation cached. However, they shouldn’t be sharing their credentials with you.”

User: “Are you sure I have to get it to the store?”

Me: “Yes.”

User: *Sighs* “Fine, thanks. Bye.”

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Totally Estúpido! Part 19

, , , , , | Right | May 7, 2021

I work for a large national retail chain. Some of our PIN pads will swap into the Spanish language when asking for a PIN.

Customer: “It says, ‘Introduce tu PIN.’”

She pronounces this intentionally poorly.

Me: “Yes, we know; it’s a glitch where they switch into Spanish.”

Customer: “I’m not f****** Spanish!”

Me: *Seizing an opportunity to call her out* “No, but the two ladies behind you are; perhaps you can ask them for help.”

Related:
Totally Estúpido! Part 18
Totally Estúpido! Part 17
Totally Estúpido! Part 16
Totally Estúpido! Part 15
Totally Estúpido! Part 14

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