No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 26
I work in a big box store. One of our big sales starts at midnight the next day, and Corporate, in their infinite wisdom, has kept sections of our store open until the usual time of 10 PM. A line for the big sale has already started to form outside, but regular shoppers are still allowed in the store for regular purchases and will need to leave when the store closes.
A customer approaches me at the customer service desk around 9:30 PM.
Customer: “Why is the back section closed?”
Me: “They’re setting up for [big sale].”
Customer: “I thought so. I saw the flyer.”
Then why did you ask me?!
Customer: “I saw that [TV model] is gonna go for $499.”
Me: “So I’ve seen.”
Customer: “Could I get it now?”
Me: “You can get into the [big sale] line that’s outside the store.”
Customer: “But I’m here, I want it now.”
Me: “That would be unfair to everyone waiting outside. The store closes at ten and will open again at midnight for the sale.”
Customer: “But I’m here now.”
Me: “The sale starts at midnight.”
Customer: “It’s already past midnight in New York.”
Me: “Oh, if we’re playing the arbitrary time zone game, why didn’t you say so? Okay, so I am assigning you…” *I swish around a fake magic wand.* “…Hawaii! At midnight here in Washington, it will only be 9 PM for you, so you wait another three hours before coming in.”
Customer: “Huh? What the f*** are you talking about?!”
Me: “Well, since it was so easy for you to place yourself in a time zone three hours ahead, I figured it would just as easy to place you in a time zone three hours behind.”
Customer: “That… that makes no sense!”
Me: “Finally, we agree. Now, please finish any non-sale purchases before we close at ten. If you want to be part of the sale, please join the line outside.”
He didn’t buy anything, and didn’t stick around for the sale. Maybe he got stuck in another time zone…
Related:
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 25
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 24
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 23
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 22
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 21