Giving The Butterfly Expert A Case Of The Butterflies

, , , , , | Friendly | June 30, 2020

Camping in the summer is a tradition in my family, especially since my grandparents have a trailer. I’m a small, bookish elementary schooler and my grandfather is watching me play in front of the trailer.

An adult volunteer is going around the campground inviting children to a program about butterflies native to Michigan, including monarchs.

Volunteer: “Hello! Do you like butterflies?”

Me: “Yeah, why?”

Volunteer: “We’re going to have a program with them soon. You can find out where monarch butterflies live!”

Me: “Don’t they live here and then fly all the way to Mexico?”

Volunteer: “Um… yes! Do you know what they eat?”

Me: “Yeah! They eat milkweed as caterpillars because it makes them taste gross to predators, and when they’re grown up they drink nectar, but they still taste bad so birds don’t eat them.”

Volunteer: “That’s right!”

The volunteer gets increasingly flustered as I geek out over monarch butterflies, oblivious to her struggle. When the volunteer gives me the details of the program and scurries away, I turn around to see my grandfather quietly laughing.

Me: “What?”

Grandfather: “I don’t think she expected you to know so much about butterflies!”

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The OP Said It Best: Karma’s A B****

, , , , , | Learning | June 15, 2020

This happened during my uniform group camp when I was in my early teens. The uniform groups of about five schools were camping together in a school for four days and three days.

At the end of the first day, my groupmate’s shower cubicle couldn’t open, leaving him trapped inside. His response was to start pounding on the cubicle door and hollering, “I’m trapped in the toilet! I’m trapped in the toilet!” The boys all found the whole thing beyond hilarious and didn’t help the trapped boy, though he eventually got the lock open and escaped.

He was the butt of all the jokes that night. Thank goodness everyone was too busy laughing at him; I had accidentally packed my mother’s pyjamas and would not have lived it down if anyone noticed.

We expected the mockery to end by the next day, but there was this one schoolmate of mine that just insisted on rubbing it into my groupmate’s face. Every joke about being trapped in a toilet, he cracked, and he laughed non-stop. He was always a jerk, but this was on a whole new level.

And then, on the second night, guess who got trapped in that defective cubicle? My schoolmate, that same boy who kept mocking my groupmate, was now hopping behind the cubicle door, flapping his hands like a chicken and screaming, “Get me out of here! Get me out of here!”

I really couldn’t help myself. I burst out laughing until I started to cry before I ran off to get the teachers. I found them having a coffee break in the canteen, right as one of them said, “Ah, peace and quiet at last.”

I gleefully ruined their peace and quiet by telling them how [Schoolmate] got himself trapped in the toilet. The look on their faces was priceless. One of them actually said, “You just had to jinx us!” to Mr. Peace And Quiet.

The four of them followed me into the washroom, where all the boys were now out of their cubicles in varying states of nudity, laughing at [Schoolmate]’s chicken flapping and jumping. Seeing that nobody was showering, I snuck into one of the opened cubicles and began showering right as the teachers made themselves known.

There was a shriek of “Why are there girls here?” — one of the teachers was female — and then sudden pounding on the shower door as the guy I stole the place from tried to get in and get clothes on.

I ignored him, and he started angrily shouting that he’d kill me. It was about this point that the teachers realised that they couldn’t open the cubicle door no matter how they tried, so one of the teachers returned with an actual crowbar, which the four of them used to force [Schoolmate]’s cubicle open. While everyone was distracted by the crowbar, I snuck out before the guy I stole the shower from could notice.

The very first thing I proceeded to do was to find [Groupmate]. When [Schoolmate] finally stumbled out of the showers, the two of us stood there and threw every single toilet joke he made back in his face. [Schoolmate] then snarled at me, “I mocked [Groupmate] and then I was trapped. Tomorrow will be your turn.”

On day three, I didn’t get trapped. I wasn’t an idiot, and the teachers had declared that one cubicle off-limits anyway.

And to add insult to injury, someone made a play about the whole situation and had it performed in front of the entire uniform group the next year, forever preventing [Schoolmate] from living it down.

Moral of the story: karma is one h*** of a b****.

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Incorrect Dialect

, , , | Right | June 7, 2020

Our camp employs a handful of international staff. I am not international at all and have never even travelled outside of the USA.

Parent: “Is everyone here from Australia?”

English Staff: “Um, no, all the international staff are actually English.”

Parent: “Oh!” *Turns to me* “And where are you from? I can’t place your accent.”

Me: *Pause* “I live twenty minutes from here.”

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Not Even A Smidge Of A Cabin?

, , , | Right | June 6, 2020

I’m a seasonal worker at a campsite in Northern Finland. July is our busiest month and all our cabins are fully booked well in advance almost every day. To make things easier, on a fully-booked day, we have a large sign outside the main door stating, “No cabins available.”

This happens quite often:

Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

Customer: “I was looking for a cabin but noticed that you have that sign outside. Are you sure you don’t even have a small cabin just for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re already fully booked, as the sign clearly states.”

Customer: “Oh… not even a tiny shed?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but unless you have a tent with you, we cannot accommodate you tonight.”

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Slush The Rules!

, , , | Right | June 3, 2020

I work at the campground my mother owns. Because we have a lake with a beach, we get a lot of people for swimming only. On hot summer days, there can be a few thousand people coming through in a day, so I help out at the fast food court kind of place that we have.

One summer, we try out a new brand of slushies. Basically, the slushie in the machine is flavorless and we add in pumps of flavor — one pump for a small slushie and two pumps for a large slushie. If you add any more, the slushie will get way too sweet. At any given time, we have two different flavor pumps ready.

There is a pretty long line, seeing as it’s a hot summer day.

Customer: “I’d like a small slushie with both flavors.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can only add one flavor for a small slushie.”

Customer: *Getting angry* “No, you can give me a small slushie with both flavors.”

Me: “No, I can’t, because I have to add the flavor, and I’m supposed to only add one pump of flavor to a small slushie.”

Customer: “I want my small slushie with two flavors; I’ve already gotten it multiple times.”

Me: “I don’t know which of my coworkers sold you that, but I can’t do that because it’s against the rules.”

Because the girl was starting to get really angry, I decided to give her the way-too-sweet slushie so that the other people in line could be helped, as well. I had to get one of my coworkers to take over so I could step out for a few minutes, though.

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