Making A Push For The Tush

| Canada | Learning | April 17, 2017

(I work at a camp and am in charge of four-year-olds. Every morning we take the kids to go swimming at the nearby pool, where lifeguards teach them simple swimming skills. Because the kids are very young, we go into the change room with them and sometimes help the kids change if they can’t themselves. There is one shared change room for boys and girls because they’re four. A small girl starts running around the change room, stark naked, while I’m occupied.)

Me: “[Girl], please go put clothes on. Come on. We’re gonna be late!”

Girl: *at the top of her lungs, sticking out her bum* “WHO WANTS TO GRAB MY TUSHIE?”

(Everyone stares. I’m for a moment caught off guard.)

Boy: “I DO!”

(At this point I regain common sense.)

Me: “Okay, no. NO.” *restraining the boy* “Let’s all get dressed and go swimming.”

Girl: *announces loudly* “It’s okay. My daddy grabs my mummy’s tushie ALL the time.”

Chocolates For The Ages

| Fordingbridge, Hampshire, UK | Friendly | April 11, 2017

(We go on holiday to the same campsite every year and over the years have made friends with some of the other families as we usually all end up there at the same time. The mum of one of the families is celebrating her birthday so we are all having a BBQ. A few small gifts have been bought for the birthday girl.)

Birthday Girl: *opens a rather nice box of chocolates from one of the other families* “Oh, lovely! Thank you so much, [Other Family]!”

Mum of Other Family: “Glad you like them!”

Nine-Year-Old Daughter of Other Family: “Mummy won those in a raffle!”

Birthday Girl: “Oh…”

(She was still very grateful, and enjoyed the chocolates, but bearing in mind we had been at the campsite for a while, how long had they had those chocolates?)

Needs To Adopt The Ability To Listen!

| UK | Related | February 27, 2017

(I worked in the crèche at a family camp during the summer. We had a strict “no photo” rule as part of our safeguarding policy. The day before the crèche opens, parents come to register their children.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to the crèche. Have you filled in the registration form?”

Mother: “Yes. It’s really important that nobody takes any photos of [Child], because he’s adopted.”

Me: “That’s fine; we never take photos in the crèche.”

Mother: “I don’t just mean that the photos can’t go online. Even for internal stuff, he can’t have his photo displayed.”

Me: “I understand. We won’t take any photos.”

Mother: “Even if he’s in the background, you’ve got to delete the photo. Can you make sure all of the staff know?”

Me: “Yes, nobody will take any photos. We never take photos in the crèche; it’s part of our safeguarding policy.”

Mother: “Because it’s really important that we keep [Child] safe.”

Me: “Yes, I understand. Now, does [Child] have any medical issues or allergies we need to be aware of?”

Mother: “He’s adopted.”

Me: “Yes…”

Mother: “So it’s really important that he’s not in any photos.”

Me: “If you go to the next desk, my colleague will give you an ID card so that only people you authorise can pick [Child] up.”

Mother: “It could be really dangerous if any photos of [Child] were published.”

We’re Going To Need A Bigger Attitude Adjustment

| USA | Learning | January 21, 2017

(I sign up for a kayak trip with a camp this year. The participants are all teenagers. The leaders are a guy in his 20s and a woman in her 50s. The guy looks super fit, the woman, not so much. We do some team building activities the first day and a couple of the teens are kind of jerks. The second day, we have to carry our kayaks down to the lake. There are nine of us total so we have to carry nine boats. It takes two people to carry a kayak — at least I thought it did. The woman leader pairs us up and we carry the first four boats to a good stopping point and then go back for four more. Then she assigns the last boat to two kids who’d caused some trouble during the team building exercises. She follows the last boat to the midway point where the rest of us are waiting. We are already tired but the boats have to be moved the rest of the way. The two who had to carry the extra boat, Teen #1 and Teen #2, are grumbling.)

Woman: “Okay, let’s move these the rest of the way.”

Teen #1: “Easy for you to say.”

(The woman picks up one of the kayaks by herself and puts it right behind another one. She then tells one girl to grab the front of one and another girl to grab the back of the other. She picks up the back of one and the front of the other and walks the rest of the way carrying both boats without stopping unless one of the girls assisting her had to. At the lake, she picks up one of the boats alone and sets it at the water’s edge.)

Woman: “Okay. Now you see that I CAN move a kayak. The difference is I don’t HAVE to move a kayak. When I ask you to do something, there is a reason behind the request. This trip will only work if we work together and respect each other.”

Teen #2: “Point taken.”

All Manner Of Bad People Out There

| Wales, UK | Learning | January 10, 2017

(I am a leader of a Brownie (like British Girl Scouts) group. As part of a challenge day, they are learning about personal safety, including stranger danger.)

Leader: “So, if a man comes up to you and tells you all about his puppies, and how cute they are but they’re too young to leave the house, and he asks you if you want to go back to his house to see them, what do you say?”

Brownies: *feebly* “No.”

Leader: “Come on, what are you going to say?”

A Couple of Brownies: “No, thank you!”

(I was quite proud of my girls’ manners!)

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