Tipping The Scales

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(I have just handed the check to a table of four young customers who look like they might be in high school. Their bill is $42.58 and they leave me $43 in cash. I immediately chase after them as they are just leaving the building, thinking it must have been a mistake.)

Me: “Hey, guys! I was just wondering if something was wrong with my service tonight? You only left me 42 cents as a tip.” 

Customer: “Well, no, there wasn’t a problem. We just didn’t have enough money extra to leave you a tip.” 

Me: “Okay… Just so I’m understanding correctly… you think it’s acceptable to come into a restaurant and order enough food that you can barely pay for down to basically the last penny and then not tip your server?” 

Customer: “Well… like I said… we just didn’t have enough left over.” 

Me: “Then next time you want to come out, either make sure you have enough money to pay for what you want, assuming you all can add correctly, and either order less food so you can tip appropriately… or, to save everyone the headache, just stay home. Because now, when I clock out of here tonight, I will have to tip out the bar, the bus boy, and pay taxes from all the tips I made, which technically means it cost me money to wait on you. That is literally the opposite of what my purpose is in coming to work every day. So, thank you very much for wasting my time. If you come back, just be aware that I will absolutely refuse to serve you and I can’t tell you that anyone else here will want to, either. Have a nice night!” 

(One of the girls came in to complain to my manager, but when he heard my side of the story, too, he basically laughed in her face and told her that we don’t really need customers like them, anyway. At the end of the night, he even bought me a beer. WINNING.)

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Haggling: The Game

, , , | Right | April 3, 2020

(It is the holiday season. The store has been very busy with last-minute shoppers.)

Me: “Hi, what can I do for you today?”

Customer: “How much is [Game System]?”

Me: “Currently, £299, but there is a bundle with an extra controller and two games for only £350.”

Customer: “I’ll give you £10 for the bundle.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You heard me. £10 for the extra stuff.”

Me: “I’m afraid not. The price is £350 for the bundle and no less.”

Customer: “You drive a hard bargain. Tell you what. I’ll stretch to £50.”

(I am getting skeptical looks from my fellow cashiers and a large queue is forming.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but the price is not up for negotiation.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. No one in this mall has been willing to sell me anything!”

Other Customer: “Yeah, because this isn’t a d*** market stall!”

(The customer stormed out muttering. Turns out that he actually rang head office to complain about me. He did not get far.)

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Seriously Stupid Administration

, , , , , , | Working | March 30, 2020

I was 21 when my Grandma died. I’d watched her slowly decline over the preceding two years, so I was not “grieving” publicly, which allowed me to keep my head.

My grandma, being the stubborn woman she was, had to die at 11:00 pm on a Friday. She wanted to be cremated, and this was about four or five days from the end of the month. By the time the cremation was done and we finally had the death certificate, her last Social Security payment had gone through.

Before her mind had gone too much, I’d had her put me on her bank account, as she lived with me and my dad and uncle, her two oldest sons. This made it easier if we needed something from the store with her card. On the first available day after we got the death certificate, I went to close out her account.

I was told that they were waiting for the SSA to pull the money, and I had to take them the death certificate, as it wasn’t our money.

I spent three months driving between my house, her bank, and the SSA across town before they pulled the money and I could get the last five dollars out of her account to close it.

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A Lot Of Fuss For Twelve Bucks

, , , , | Working | March 30, 2020

My company has a program where employees can buy products at a significant discount. One time they had an event at our site where we could try stuff out and then order what we wanted. The very next day the program changed to increase the discount so they refunded the difference in prices to all of us who had ordered at the event, which was quite nice.

My stuff all came except one part, which turned out to have been discontinued, so they canceled the order of that part and refunded the price to me — the original price I paid, not the lowered price. This netted me about an extra $12.

Being an honest guy, I asked how I could pay back the extra $12. After several weeks of back and forth, I ended up in a teleconference with my manager and two local site lawyers “live” and two lawyers at the corporate HQ via the phone. They discussed this for — I kid you not — almost a full hour before deciding I should make a payment of the $12 to the local finance people. Those people were quite confused when I made the payment to them and tried to explain why.

Later, my manager told me, “If anything like this happens again, just keep quiet.”

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Scored Ten For Ten!

, , , , , , | Working | March 27, 2020

(I’m picking up two to-go orders from a restaurant I frequent. I get my food and go to pay. Side note: the elderly owner doesn’t allow anyone to work the register except himself.)

Me: *gives him the ticket for the first order*

Owner: “Your total is $7 even.”

(I pay with a $20 and he gives me back a ten and three ones. I give him the ticket for the second order, which ends up being more than $3, so I pay with the ten-dollar bill. The owner places the bill on top of the cash drawer while he gets my change, and then he hands me some ones and another ten.)

Me: *hands him back the ten* “I paid with a $10 the second time.”

(He looks surprised but looks at me and then the bill still on top of the drawer and quickly takes back the extra ten and points a finger at me.)

Owner: “I was just testing you. Have a good day!”

Me: “Riiight…”

(I keep thinking, “What would have happened if the register came up short later and he couldn’t blame anyone else?”)

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