I Got A Hundred Problems And All Of Them Are You

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2018

(It’s Sunday, and I’m an hour into a seven-and-a-half-hour register shift. I’ll note that it’s ten am and our customer service counter opened at eight, like every other day, and also, that since it’s Sunday, the bank in the store isn’t open.)

Customer: *holding out a hundred dollar bill* “Yeah, I’ll take a fifty, a twenty—”

(At this point I understand he wants change. I’m not allowed to open my drawer for anyone unless they’re making a purchase and I’m giving change, or if an employee of the cash office needs to take money from my drawer.)

Me: *being polite and smiling* “Sir, I’m sorry, but I can’t make change for you. Customer service can, though!” *gestures to the customer service counter up front*

Customer: *looking irritated* “I already went up there! She said she didn’t have enough money and to go to the bank, but they’re not open yet!”

(Obviously, he hasn’t realized yet it’s Sunday and most banks aren’t open, and my coworker obviously was on autopilot. I decide rather than make him more irate and tell him that it’s Sunday and the bank won’t open, I try to explain politely.)

Me: “Sir, I’m not allowed to open my drawer unless I’m giving back change on a purchase.”

Customer: *basically shaking his hundred dollar bill at me* “But I know you have a fifty in there; I saw it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but my managers have told me I’m not allowed to open my drawer unless I’m giving back change on a purchase. If you buy something and pay with the hundred, I can give you change.”

(I’ll also note our store is big on giving the best customer service we can.)

Customer: *giving me a wide-eyed, frankly kind of scary look* “Is that the kind of customer service you want to be giving?”

Me: *in my head* “Sir, I’d like to help you, but I’m not going to break rules for you and possibly get fired.” *out loud* “I apologize, sir, but there’s nothing else I can do.”

(The guy huffs, spins around, and browses the candy on display by the register before grabbing a pack of gum and tossing it on my belt. I scan his item, he hands me his hundred, and I count out his change and even triple-check because I really don’t want to piss him off anymore at this point. I stick a paid sticker on his gum and hand it and his change to him.)

Me: *as he’s walking away* “Have a great day, sir!”

(He just walked away, all irritated. I even gave him the stupid fifty he saw in my drawer — instead of the normal two twenties and a ten — in his change so he wouldn’t bother me anymore. I later told a manager, and she told me, “Good on you!” because I didn’t give in even though he was being rude.)

Not Even Bordering On Being Close To The Border

, , , , | Right | October 12, 2018

(A lady orders two pepperoni pizzas and her total comes out to $10.82. She hands me a ten and then pulls out Canadian coins for the change.)

Me: “Sorry, I can’t accept those as payment.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because this isn’t Canada?”

Customer: *argues with me saying it shouldn’t matter* “—you should accept them; some b*stard here gave them to me so you should have to take them back!”

(We aren’t allowed to argue with customers so I just stand there and repeat that I can’t accept her coins. Eventually she pulls out 82 cents then takes her order and throws her Canadian coins in our tip jar. My manager looks at me after she leaves and asks:)

Manager: “She does realize Canada is 1500 miles north of here, right?”

Wrecked Himself Before He Checked Himself

, , , , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(We offer to cash checks in our store, provided the customer holds or signs up for a rewards membership and has a photo ID, and we have the cash to do so. This happens in the evening only an hour before we close.)

Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I need to cash this check. Hurry up, though; I have to be somewhere.”

(I take a look at the check. It is for over $700, which is more than twice what I have available in my drawer. During the day we can get loans from the cash office, but as it’s quite late, I am not able to. )

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t have enough cash on hand to cash this.”

Customer: “Well, then, get it! You guys do it all the time!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m sorry. But it’s too late for me to get a loan. You can take the check somewhere else to cash, or you can wait and see if we have the money tomorrow. It’s unlikely I will be able to cash it later tonight, as we close in an hour. You could also try tomorrow.”

Customer: “Man! The f*** is this?! Just give me my d*** money!”

Me: “Again, sir, I’m not able to. I have given you alternatives. Perhaps you can try [Grocery Store] across the street? They tend to have more on hand at this time of night.”

(The customer swears under his breath and leaves. He comes back five minutes later after I have helped two more customers.)

Customer: “You going to cash my check now?”

Me: “Again, sir, I don’t have enough. We close in less than an hour; I won’t be able to—”

(The customer leaves again. He then comes back AGAIN a few minutes later.)

Customer: “You got it yet?”

Me: “Sir, please, I will not be able to cash your check tonight! You can go somewhere else, or wait until tomorrow! You are asking me to do something I am literally unable to do.”

(By this point my manager has heard all of this and comes over. He asks to see the check and, despite it being against company policy, agrees to check and see if there is enough cash in the office to do the transaction. He asks the customer for ID.)

Customer: “I ain’t got no ID; that’s why I can’t go to [Check Cashing Store] or the bank! Now give me my money!”

(My manager makes him leave. The customer tries to resist, but my manager is about 6’5″ and very broad, built like a linebacker, and weighs at least 260 pounds.)

Manager: “You don’t feel bad about that one bit. You did good. Start closing up; maybe we can go home early tonight.”

(With that, he walked away, whistling. Just goes to show: don’t mess with retail workers!)

Boy, Your Rants Are Taxing

, , , , | Right | October 8, 2018

(An elderly man has just purchased a ticket for a film.)

Me: “All right, sir, that’ll be $8.50.”

Customer: “So, you enjoy scamming your customers?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Customer: “I came in a week ago, and I paid a different price. Oldest trick in the book! You guys change how the taxing works on different days to drum up more money!”

(Our prices are hard-coded into our system and have not changed in almost two years, and there’s no way to “change how the taxing works.” Nor would we have any reason to, given theaters essentially make no money on ticket sales anyways.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’ve had the same pricing for almost two years. Is it possible you came earlier in the day and got the earlier morning rates?”

Customer: “No, don’t be stupid. I know that you guys are changing how the taxing works. The tickets are supposed to have the tax included, but now you’re charging me that price PLUS additional tax! You’re just trying to rip me off, BOY!”

(Again, prices on our systems are hardcoded and include any and all taxes already and this cannot be changed.)

Me: *thinking I might know what happened* “I apologize again, sir, but I can assure you that our prices have not changed in several years. Nothing in our systems can be changed as it’s all hard-coded in. It may also be possible that one of our new hires might have just done something silly like accidentally hit the wrong button when ringing you out the other day and charged you a child’s price instead. It’s a common mistake for new hires, but if anything, you’d have been charged less than you should have, so you essentially might have just gotten a free accidental rebate.”

Customer: “No! I know you’re changing the taxes! Your managers and you are just lining your fat pockets! It’s the oldest trick in the book, committing tax fraud like you are!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but again, our prices cannot be arbitrarily changed. Would you still like to see the movie?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, but you best warn your managers, boy! Warn them you’re all going to be out of a job soon because one of your LOYAL customers know you’re all cheating FRAUDSTERS!”

(He storms off. A few minutes later, our concession worker goes to use the restroom, so I cover for him. The customer comes back and I cringe because I know what’s about to happen. Our concession prices have gone up a small amount. It’s typically a few cents or a quarter at most for some premium items, due to some major new renovations, equipment, etc. that have given us plenty of new options but are somewhat more costly to maintain.)

Customer: “You again? Large soda.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. That’ll be $5.95.”

(Cue almost five full minutes of being reamed out, accused of tax fraud, etc. for the price change, which of course only “confirms” his accusations of us “changing how the taxing works.”)

Wasn’t Banking On Winning The World Cup

, , , , | Working | October 7, 2018

I work in recruitment, and part of my job is to organise the reimbursement of people’s travel costs when they attend an interview. One day, shortly after Germany was knocked out of the World Cup, an interviewee filled in an expense claim for two nights in a hotel before and after her interview. I processed the request as normal and everything seemed fine, but after a couple of weeks she got in touch asking for an update on her claim. According to payroll, the full amount had been paid, but she insisted she hadn’t received it.

She became increasingly upset over the course of several days as we emailed back and forth, with me providing evidence that the payment had been sent, whilst she sent evidence that her bank had never received the money. Eventually, I asked payroll to check that they hadn’t mistyped her bank details, and they sent me a screenshot. It turned out that they had looked at the receipt from the hotel and, instead of using the interviewee’s bank details, had used what was written in the footer of the receipt document: the bank account of the hotel.

After facepalms all round, and a lot of awkward apologies from payroll, we finally transferred the payment to the interviewee’s account. She sent a very grateful email, ending with, ‘We may have lost at football, but at least I didn’t lose my money.”

Page 1/6512345...Last
Next »