You Can’t Squeeze Two Years Into One

, , , , | Right | February 16, 2018

(I work in a high-end gift shop near a popular tourist destination. A woman walks up to me holding two calendars and a £20 note.)

Customer: “What kind of discount do I get for buying more than one of something?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We don’t have any multi-buy discounts.”

Customer: “Hmph. Well, these calendars are £10.99. I have £20.”

(She looks at me expectantly.)

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “How many can I buy?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. You may buy as many calendars as you like. But two calendars would cost £21.98. If you only have £20, you can only buy one calendar.”

Customer: *stares blankly*

Me: “So, let’s ring that up for you!”

(I lead the customer over to the tills, where she handed me both calendars and the £20 note. She looked quite disgruntled that I placed one calendar behind the counter and scanned the other, but she said nothing. When I handed her change to her, she pulled out a wallet positively stuffed with money. So much for not having the extra £1.98!)

Ripping Through The Economy

, , , , , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(I am getting a customer her change. One of the dollar bills I hand her has a small rip in the corner, but I don’t think it’s a big deal. I give her the money, and she just stares at it.)

Me: “Is something wrong?”

Customer: “Does this have a rip in it?”

Me: “Uh… I think it had a small tear–“

Customer: “Oh, no. I can’t accept that. [Store] makes so much money. They can stand to have some ripped up dollars; I can’t. [Store] just makes so much money.”

Me: “Would you like me to get you a different dollar?”

Customer: “Yes. [Store] makes a lot of money. They can keep this one.”

Unwilling To Change Until The Last Minute

, , , , | Right | February 15, 2018

(Our prints and copies cost $.05 for black and white and $.40 for color.)

Me: “Your total is $2.51.”

(The customer hands me $20.51, with a twenty dollar bill.)

Me: “Do you, by chance, have anything smaller?”

Customer: *with an annoyed look on his face* “No.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I give him his $18.00 change in single bills because that is all we have in the register.)

Customer: “Can you not give me a $10 bill?”

Me: “No, I can’t. Because of our prices, most people tend to pay with $1 bills.”

Customer: “Well, can I get that $20 back and pay with a $5?” *holding out a $5 bill to me*

Me: “No, because I asked you that in the first place.”

Loan Me A Bone Here

, , , , , , , | Working | February 13, 2018

(I have gone online to set up a payment plan for my student loans, only to find out they want a minimum payment of $400 a month. Since this is well out of my price range, I decide to call them directly.)

Me: “Yeah, I went online to set up the payment plan, but $400 a month isn’t going to work for me. We are a single-income family, with two children. Is there any way I can pay less?”

Customer Service: “I completely understand. Let me see what I can do for you.”

(They put me on hold for a couple of minutes.)

Customer Service: “Okay, here’s what we can do. If you can send us a one-time payment for $20,000, we’ll consider your entire balance paid off.”

Me: “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

(He ended up giving me the phone number of a different department where they could work with me regarding my payment. But I just couldn’t figure out the logic of, “She can’t afford $400 a month, so obviously she must be able to pay us $20,000.”)

You’re About To Get Sides-Eye

, , , , , | Right | February 12, 2018

(I’m cleaning up around the cashier station while the following transaction takes place with my coworker. Our premium sides — baked potatoes, loaded baked potatoes, side salads, and mac and cheese — are either 29 or 99 cents extra. A customer orders a meal that comes with two sides.)

Coworker: “Your sides, ma’am?”

Customer: “I’ll have green beans and a baked potato.”

Coworker: “The baked potato will be 29 cents extra; is that okay?”

Customer: “Since when?! I always come here, and I’m always allowed to switch out the fries with a baked potato, because I don’t want fries!”

Coworker: “Since forever, ma’am. You’re allowed to choose any two sides you want, but our premium sides have always been 29 cents extra.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous, because whenever I come here I always get a baked potato in place of fries, and they never charge me for it! Get me your manager, now!”

(My coworker calls our manager to come up. Keep in mind that whenever someone asks for a premium side and it is rung up, it automatically charges 29 cents to the bill.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your employee is trying to charge me for something I have never paid for. I always get a baked potato in place of fries and have never been charged for it. This must be new or something.”

Manager: “Ma’am, we have always charged extra for premium sides. That is nothing new.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve been coming here for 15 years, and I can assure you I’ve never paid extra for anything.”

Manager: “I’ve been working here for a little over a year now, and we’ve charged extra for those sides since before I was even here.”

Customer: “I want the number to corporate to complain, because this is ridiculous. I’m never coming here again, because you’re trying to cheat me out of my money.”

Manager: “Of course. Go ahead. I’ll write it down for you.”

(My manager writes it down and hands it to the customer, who then proceeds to call corporate right there at the counter. On her way out, she stops by me while I’m sweeping.)

Customer: “You! You took my order before, and you never charged me extra for it.”

(She finally walked out, and my manager asked what she said to me. I told her and went back to working. The customer was on the phone in her car for 30 minutes after she walked out. Just sitting in the parking lot. Who gets mad over 29 cents?)

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