Misunderstanding Of A Dollar-Printing Factory

, , , , , | Right | August 14, 2018

(I am working a morning shift behind my register when a disheveled man walks in and approaches the counter. He mumbles and slurs his words together when he talks, making him very difficult to understand.)

Customer: “I need a—” *incomprehensible*

Me: “Sorry, what was that?”

Customer: “I said I need a dollar!”

Me: *thinking he needs to exchange some bills or coins* “Okay, what do you have on you? And how would you like that?”

Customer: “Nooo, I need a dollar.”

Me: *now thinking he might need cash back* “Okay, you just have you buy something small, like a pack of gum or something. I can’t give out money directly from the register.”

Customer: *growing more frustrated* “NO! You see, I have four dollars. And I need five dollars. So, I need a dollar.”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give out money from the register.”

Customer: *stares at me with a mixture of anger and confusion*

Me: “I can give you cash back or exchange money, but I can’t just give you a dollar. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “I can’t give you money out of my register.”

Customer: *stares at me again and finally leaves*

(I’m not sure why that dollar was so important, or why it’s so hard to understand that stores don’t just give money out to people who ask.)

Beer The Change You Want To See In The World

, , , , , , | Friendly | August 13, 2018

(I’m sitting at the very front of a train when a homeless man carrying an open beer can approaches me.)

Homeless Man: “Excuse me, mate. Can you spare some change?”

Me: “I’m afraid not, sorry.”

(I can, but I don’t tell him that. He goes down the carriage, asking everyone, then goes into the next one. Half an hour later, the train is reaching its end and I’m the only one in the carriage. He returns and walks straight into the wall at the end without breaking his stride. He looks at it for a minute as if he can’t quite process it, then he looks at me.)

Homeless Man: “So, how are you, then? What’ve you been up to tonight?”

(Not wanting to agitate him, I chat to him for a few minutes, whilst making sure to stay in CCTV view.)

Homeless Man: “So, I’ve been friendly, and I’ve given you some nice company. And I know you’ve got some change on you, so could you help me out?”

Me: “I really can’t.”

Homeless Man: “Why won’t you help a homeless guy? I’m just trying to find a place to sleep!”

Me: “I make regular donations to homeless charities; they all say if I give you money, it’s just going to keep you on the street. You need to seek professional help.”

Homeless Man: “But I’m not on the drugs, or the booze, or anything!”

Me: “I’ll help you out by giving you a tip. Maybe tell people that when you don’t have a beer can in your hand. I’d love to believe you, but I can’t right now.”

(He sulked and wandered off.)

Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 5

, , , , , | Right | August 9, 2018

(I work in a retail store that offers customers a store credit card. One detail that a lot of people like about the card is that they can bring their bill in and pay it in the store. We’re close to Canada, but still a solid couple of hours away.)

Woman: “I want to pay my bill.”

(Everything proceeds normally until she pulls out her cash. She has American bills, but she has several Canadian coins. It’s quite common to get Canadian coins here, but the managers have asked us to stop accepting them because, you know, it’s foreign currency.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you happen to have American coins?”

Woman: “No.”

Me: “These are Canadian coins. We’re trying to not—”

Woman: “I got them from the shops around here. What’s the problem?”

Me: “This isn’t Canada.”

Woman: “But I got them from the stores here. What does it matter?”

Me: “This isn’t American currency.”

(This woman looked like she was about to have a hissy fit, so I decided to let it slide, seeing how the coins aren’t counted in the register and it wasn’t that large an amount. It just baffled me that this woman didn’t think that there was a difference between American and Canadian coins. You wouldn’t pay with Canadian bills, so why would you pay with their coins?)

Related:
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 4
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 3
Loonie Over A Toonie, Part 2

Acting Totally Fake

, , , , , , , | Right | August 8, 2018

(I am a supervisor. It is about an hour after our peak period finishes. Two people walk into the store: one female, one male, both acting a little odd. I decide to take their order instead of the cashier. About halfway through the order, the woman pulls out a $50 note, but it is obviously fake. She tries to pay with it.)

Me: “I am sorry, but this note is fake.”

Woman: “Really? It can’t be; I just got it out of the ATM!”

Me: “It is obviously fake and I have to confiscate it.”

Woman: “Then the ATM is giving out fake notes! Give it back so I can complain!”

Me: “You have tried to pay with fraudulent currency; by law I can’t give it back. Unless you have any real money with you, I cant process this order.”

(The woman looks in her purse, and I notice that she has a large amount of similar-looking $50 notes.)

Woman: “But what are you going to do with the food?”

Me: “Unless you pay for it, it will be handed out to another customer that orders the same item.”

(She turns around and walks to the male she came in with and starts talking, while I make my way to the office to put the fake note into the safe.)

Cashier: *to me* “Hey, you might want to come out; the guy is looking really pissed off.”

(I walk out, but keep behind the bench behind the front counter.)

Guy: “Give me my f****** money back!”

Me: “We have the right to confiscate that money.”

Guy: “It’s my f****** money; get it here now!”

Me: “I can’t legally do that; it is now property of the federal police.”

Guy: “You will give it back or I will f****** make you.”

Me: “I can’t.”

(He proceeds to pick up the donation box and tug on it. Then he notices the chain attaching it to the counter, and he throws it at me. I don’t move, as there is no way it can hit me.)

Guy: “Give me my f****** money back!”

Me: “It’s fake; I can’t.”

Guy: “Well, give me my f****** fake $50 back!”

(He stormed out the front door.)

Beggars Can Be Choosers, Apparently

, , , , , , , | Friendly | August 7, 2018

A few years ago, I used to take the buses to come home from a coffee shop where I worked.

There was a homeless man at a gas station with a sign, asking for money. I made good tips there, and usually this was money that I use to buy food for dinner every night for my children, but that day I was okay, so I decided to give him my entire bag of tips. I was feeling good about it, so I turned back to look at him when I had walked away.

That man took out the dollar bills out and was throwing the bag with the rest of the money away in a trash can! I was mad! Yes, it was change, but probably at least $10 worth of change!

I marched right back up to him, took the bag out of the trash and took the bills back straight from his hand! I felt bad, but I was mad that he had just thoughtlessly thrown out good money.

I bought groceries for my kids, instead.

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