My mom grew up dirt-poor, so I try to give her some grace when she complains about money or how people spend it. But once in a while, I have to check her.

Cue this week. My daughter’s school is having a book fair. I gave her enough money to buy a couple of books for herself, plus a little extra if a classmate is left out. She is eagerly showing me what she bought when Mom has to have her say.

Mom: “Y’know, you really shouldn’t be spending all this money on her. Some of those kids don’t get to buy stuff at the book fair.”

Me: “I gave [Daughter] extra to help out a classmate, if needed. I guess no one needed it this time.”

Mom: “I think you’re overindulging her. A few weeks ago, you bought her that toy plane. Then that troll doll. And now she’s bringing home MORE stuff?”

Me: *Deep breath because “not this s*** again”.* “I didn’t buy those toys for her. She saved up her allowance and bought them with her own money. I gave her money for the book fair because the money benefits the school.”

Mom: “Well, I sometimes had to go without. It wouldn’t kill you to tell her no once in a while.”

Me: “Yes, Mom. I’m aware. That doesn’t mean I can’t let my kid buy a couple of books with her friends. And I tell her no plenty.”

Mom: “Not enough, apparently. Look at all those toys…”

Me: “Over half of which came from her grandparents on the other side of the country. Who only get to see her once every three or four years.”

Mom: “I’m just saying…”

Me: “No, you’re just shaming. It’s my house, my money, and my kid. I’ll overindulge if I want because I worked hard and f****** earned it.”

Mom made a face like she was sucking lemons and left the room. I added a notch to my spine and continued gushing over my kiddo’s book fair haul.

A customer comes into the gas station.

Customer: “I only have cash.”

Me: “That’s fine. I can take payment here and pre-approve the pump to the dollar value you want.”

Customer: “What happens if I go over?”

Me: “The pump won’t let you go over.”

Customer: “What happens if I don’t use it all?”

Me: “I give you the change.”

Customer: “Wow, you’ve really thought of everything!”

Me: “Well, two things—”

Customer: *Throwing cash at me, delighted.* “—everything! You’re amazing!”

The customer goes outside to pump, and as predicted, it stops pumping to the penny. He comes back inside for no other reason than just to shout:

Customer: *Still delighted.* “Amazing! You thought of everything!”

And he goes back out, still shouting:

Customer: “Everything!”

Customer: “I’ll take the combo, but I’m not paying for the drink.”

Me: “The combo includes the drink, sir. It’s a set price.”

Customer: “Then remove the drink and charge me less.”

Me: “That would just be the individual items, which actually cost more. Why don’t you get the combo and save the drink for later?”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. You’re forcing me to buy something I don’t want! You’re a bunch of dictators!”

Me: “Sir, we’re just following the pricing. No one is forcing you to buy anything, and you’re welcome to order items separately.”

Customer: “No, this is wrong. You’re all a bunch of communists, controlling what I can buy!”

Me: “Sir, if we were communists, you wouldn’t be buying anything. You’d get the combo whether you wanted it or not.”

Customer: “But you’re forcing me to buy more things with your stupid pricing model, communists!”

Me: “Sir… do… do you know what communism is?”

Customer: *Storming out.* “It’s when I don’t get what I want!”

Related:
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 13
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 12
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 11
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 10
Needs To Work On Their Socialist Skills, Part 9

I stopped at a small, non-chain gas station on a road trip to grab a few supplies and fill my tank. When I got to the register, I greeted the cashier, who was texting on her phone. She didn’t say anything to me, but did stop to pick up her phone and send a couple of messages.

At the end, she gestured toward a small point-of-sale screen with one hand, typing on her phone with the other. The screen was asking for a tip, starting at 20% and going up to 40%.

Me: “I’m paying cash.”

Cashier: *Rolls her eyes and holds out her hand.* “Fine.”

Me: “Okay…”

I count out the exact total and hand it to her.

Cashier: “Really?”

Me: “What?”

Cashier: *Gestures at the screen with her phone in hand.*

Me: “Why would I tip you?”

Cashier: “B****.”

Me: *Gathering my purchases because she didn’t offer a bag.* “Yeah, that’ll change my mind.”

Cashier: *As I’m walking out the door.* “C***!”

I laughed extra loud as the door closed behind me.

Customer: “Can I change this ten and two fives for a twenty?”

Me: “Sure.”

He hands me the bills, I check that they’re good, and I hand him back a twenty.

Customer: “Also, can I get a cold Coke?”

Me: “That’s $2.”

I get a cold can from the cooler behind me, and he hands over the twenty to pay. I look at him for a moment before I hand him back the same ten, one of his fives, and then three dollar bills.

Customer: *Taking the can, and the change.* “Thanks!” *Walks away happily.*

CORRECTION: The first sentence has been re-ordered for clarity.