Really Drumming This One Home

, , , , , | Learning | September 17, 2020

This story starts at the beginning of the first semester of my senior year. I take a music appreciation class that semester which everyone just calls “the Beatles class” because that is the band the teacher focuses on the entire semester. I had this teacher my sophomore year, as well; I took a drumline class with him where he eventually asked if I would join the school band — he was the band teacher. Originally, I was interested in it, but I later changed my mind. He did not like that.

Fast forward, back to my senior year. I miss a test due to a doctor’s appointment. The next day, I go to him to see when I can make it up.

Me: “[Teacher], I wanted to see when I could make up my test?”

Teacher: “Will you be in the [School Production] this weekend?”

Me: “Yes, I will be performing.”

Teacher: “Then don’t worry about the test right now; focus on your performance. Come see me next week to discuss when you can make up the test.”

Me: “Thank you, [Teacher].”

The weekend goes by and so does my performance. It is now Monday morning. I walk up to my teacher to discuss the test.

Teacher: “You have a test that you need to make up!”

Me: “Yes, that’s what I wanted to discuss with you.”

Teacher: “You need to come to see me after school today to make up for your test!”

I do not have my license and can’t get a hold of my parents to pick me up later because cell phones are not allowed.

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I won’t be able to make it up today. Can I take it tomorrow after school?”

Teacher: “Fine.”

The next day after school, I walk to his classroom and find that he has left for the day. He does not mention anything about the test later on and I end up completely forgetting about it. Fast forward again to finals. I am talking to a friend before the bell and the teacher comes up to me.

Teacher: “You have a test to make up in my class. We had a date set and I waited until 4:00 but you never showed up.”

Me: “I was there before 4:00 and you weren’t there.”

I can tell that I’ve caught him on that one.

Teacher: “You will need to take your test after your final.”

Me: “Can’t I take it before my final with [Special Education Teacher I work with]?”

Teacher: “No, you have to take it with me after your final.”

Me: “Okay.”

As you can tell, I was fed up with this and it didn’t make sense to me that I had to wait until after my final to take my test. I finally got my mom involved, who sent him an email to try to get an understanding of what was going on, especially with him refusing to let me take the test with my special education teacher; my IEP states that I get extra time on tests and I get to take my test in a different classroom.

He did not budge with his decision so I finally got my special education teacher involved. He sent my music teacher an email telling him that I would be taking the test in his classroom before my final.

I finally took my test, but because it had been so long since we went over that lesson, I did not know any of the answers. That didn’t matter, though. Just by turning it in that test, it brought my grade up to 95%. Because my grade was 95%, I no longer had to take his final.

I think the thing that annoyed me the most about the whole situation is that it took a male teacher to help me with another male teacher because the teacher would not listen to his female student or her mother. I also truly believe that this was his revenge for me not joining the drumline.

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Sex For Anything Besides Reproduction? How Dare You!, Part 2

, , , , | Friendly | September 16, 2020

My biology teacher was teaching sex education and offers extra credit for safe-sex research outside of class.

After school, I go to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. While waiting I decide to go through the condoms that are lined up in front next to the registers. I let the pharmacy staff know what I am doing and they offered to answer any questions I have.

While I am reading the backs of two different boxes I look up and noticed a middle-aged woman standing in line giving me the dirtiest look I’ve ever received.

Without missing a beat I hold up both boxes and loudly ask:

Me: “WELL WHICH ONE DO YOU USE!?”

I watch her face turn a deep shade of crimson and she stomped away towards the front of the store. The pharmacy staff lost it. It felt pretty good to give them a good laugh!

Related:
Sex For Anything Besides Reproduction? How Dare You!

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At Least He Didn’t Say “I”

, , , , | Learning | September 11, 2020

My high school US history class has an abnormally high population of dim bulbs, much to the frustration of our teacher. We’re playing a trivia game.

Teacher: “What is the capital of Iran?”

Guy: *With complete confidence* “IRAQ!”

For a second, the teacher just stares at this guy, along with most of the other more intelligent people in the room.

Teacher: “May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.”

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The Love Of Teaching Runs Deep

, , , | Learning | September 5, 2020

I’m a teacher. One of my students has recently started a part-time job and is celebrating their first payday.

Me: “Congratulations! Even after years of having them, I still find payday exciting. “

Student: “Wait, they pay you?”

Me: “Um… yes. I mean, I do love the job, but I don’t do it for free. Why did you think I’m here?”

Student: “I don’t know. I thought this was like a hobby or something.”

Every single student around him dissolved into laughter.

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We Had Finally Gotten That Song Out Of Ours Heads. Thanks.

, , , , , | Learning | September 3, 2020

It was the far back yesteryear of 2009 and Lonely Island had recently released their smash hit I’m On A Boat. For those unfamiliar with the song, the innocent title does nothing to convey that the lyrics are absolutely riddled with F-bombs.

Apparently, this fact also completely escaped the organizers of my senior prom, as when the song was inevitably requested — because what teen can resist randomness, T-Pain, and swear words? — the uncensored version started blaring through the speakers.

Supervisors rushed to the DJ booth and scrambled to switch over to the version that’s as much bleeps as English, but it was too late. The damage had been done, as 500 teenagers belted out “F***”s at the top of their lungs and nothing was going to stop them until the song had been sung.

Not sure what fallout there was for whoever approved the song list, but requests were pre-screened for the rest of the night instead of playing nearly immediately.

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