Explaining The Lay Of The Land

, , , , , | Learning | December 5, 2018

(In geography class, the teacher calls me and my tablemate back to his desk and pulls out our last tests.)

Teacher: “Now, when I was grading your tests, I noticed some similarities on your tests. Can either of you explain this?”

Me: “I won three school geography bees, and made it to state finals my last year. This moron could not find the US on a three-country map of North America. Suggesting that I would cheat off of him is insulting.”

(With that, I flounced back to my seat. Somehow, I didn’t get in trouble for being a smarta**.)

Proof(read) Of A Conspiracy

, , , | Learning | December 4, 2018

(We are going to the library with the guidance counsellor and my civic education teacher to look for information on career guidance. Onisep is a French organisation under the authority of the Ministry of National Education, whose vocation is to offer information on studies and professions.)

Guidance Counsellor: “You should go to Onisep, and you can search in the fields you are interested in or look at the profession you want to do.”

(I type in “proofreader” because it is the job I want to do, but the site does not have a job sheet for a proofreader.)

Friend: “Have you tried [website of a French monthly magazine specialized in training information]?”

(I go to this website and find the description for “corrector.”)

Guidance Counsellor: *looks at us* “Go back to Onisep!”

Me: “But I can’t find the information about the job of proofreader on this site.”

Guidance Counsellor: “But you must not leave the Onisep site!”

Teacher: “They’re on a guidance site! They’re not playing on the computer! They’re not doing anything wrong.” *turns to us* “You can stay on this site if you have found the information you are interested in!”

(At the time, there was a rumor that our guidance counsellors were paid by the number of times they advertised for Onisep; that didn’t reduce the rumor.)

When The Teacher Is The Antagonist

, , , , | Learning | November 30, 2018

Since I was in high school, I’ve made some money on the side by helping my neighbors’ children — and later, children of their relatives and acquaintances, as well — with their homework. This mostly consisted of reading over written assignments for spelling and grammar mistakes, since most of them had Portuguese rather than English as their first language.

Recently, one of the girls I tutor started high school with a teacher who apparently didn’t expect his students to have much of a vocabulary, because she was constantly bringing her papers back with comments from him saying that they “didn’t sound like her own words.” I want to emphasize that I didn’t write the papers for her, and while I’ve always loved learning rare or unusual words and can give plenty of synonyms off the top of my head, the ones she was told to change seemed pretty basic to me — “protagonist” instead of “main character,” and such.

The cherry on top was an instance where one of the sections she was told to edit was a quote from a source she was required to have in her paper! I don’t recall the subject matter, but the sources were from the 1800s, so of course their language was a bit more flowery than how people speak today. We ended up changing it to the shortest quote we could find in the source material, which apparently satisfied him. You can bet there was plenty of disbelieving laughter from both of us at the irony of a teacher having his students dumb their work down!

A Fight To Blow The Doors Off

, , , , , | Learning | November 27, 2018

(We’re in algebra, towards the end of the day. A student returns from the bathroom, and since our doors are always locked he needs to be let into the classroom. The guy sitting closest to the door moves to open it, as is usual throughout the school, since the person by the door is always the closest.)

Teacher: “Don’t worry about it, [Classmate]. I’ll get the door.”

(My classmate opens the door, anyway, as he had already begun to open it by the time the teacher said this.)

Teacher: *now furious* “Are you kidding me!? I just told you I would get the door! You had absolutely no reason to get out of your chair!”

Classmate: “[Teacher], I don’t see what the big deal is, I—“

Teacher: “The problem is that you didn’t listen to me! You never listen! Not to a word I ever say!”

Classmate: “All I did—“

Teacher:No! I don’t want to hear it! You have disrespected me and gotten out of your seat when you weren’t supposed to and–“

Classmate: “ALL I DID WAS OPEN THE F****** DOOR!”

Teacher: “Get out in the hallway! You’re done here. You can spend the rest of class outside!”

(My classmate walked out into the hallway, then walked back in and sat down a few minutes later, and the teacher acted like none of this just happened. This was not the first or last time something like this happened. Safe to say, I’m glad I’m a senior and only in this class for three more months.)

Any Child Knows That Respect Is Earned

, , , , , | Learning | November 25, 2018

(In the UK, students between 16 and 18 take up to four subjects in school, all of which are chosen by the student. The son of the man in this story has been skipping one of his chosen subjects, so he has come in to speak to his head of year.)

Father: “I cannot believe this school gives Sixth Form detention, treating the students like children! How are you going to teach them to be adults like this!? He’s almost 18!”

Me: “Sir, I entirely believe in the notion of giving them a chance to behave like an adult before treating like a child—”

Father: “As you should!”

Me: “However, acting like an adult includes showing respect to the teachers, and I think not showing up to a particular subject, especially since he has chosen it, is one of the most disrespectful things a student can do.”

(The dad went rather quiet at that, but before it lingered too long, the head of year did show up and take him to a meeting room.)

Page 1/47912345...Last