The Greatest Generation Of Debt Payers

, , , , , | Right | December 1, 2017

(The restaurant I work for is in a very small town, and as such, we have a devoted group of elderly regulars that are allowed to have a tab because we see them everyday. One day one of the regulars walks in, hands me a blank check, and tells me to hang it up with his tab.)

Me: “[Regular], what is this for? You only have a few dollars on your tab.”

Regular: “Yes, I know, but I just turned 80!”

Me: “Uh?”

Regular: “So, if I die, you can fill that out and pay for my food! I can’t just not pay!”

Me: *shocked* “[Regular], if you die, I don’t think we’ll be worried about a few dollars for eggs!”

A Hot Slice Of Nice

, , , , , , | Hopeless | November 30, 2017

(I work at a large pizza chain. One day we get an order for several pizzas, which we fill. However, someone misreads the slip and makes the wrong pizza. The customer comes in to collect her order before we can fix it.)

Me: “We’re really sorry, but we made you [Pizza #1] instead of [Pizza #2]. We can remake it if you’re willing to wait.”

Customer: “No, don’t bother. I’m happy with [Pizza #1]. How much do I owe you?”

(I give her the total, which is a little over $20. She pulls out a $20 note, but then her face goes pale.)

Customer: “I’m so sorry. I dropped the other $20 on the way here. I could go home and grab more money.”

(Since she was so nice about the pizza, and since she’s only short a couple of dollars, I wave her off. A few weeks later, we get an order for the same customer. I’m not working that night, so I am told about this later. The customer comes in, collects her pizzas — correctly made this time — and then goes up to pay.)

Customer: “I was here a few weeks ago. I dropped part of the money that I was going to use to pay for the pizza, and the person on the counter was nice enough to let me go. I’ve brought in the amount I was short last time. Can you try to make sure that she gets it? Her name was [My Name].”

(I’ve had customers who were short. On the very rare occasion, they may pay it back. But I’ve never had a customer not only return the money, but remember the person who covered the missing amount.)

When Inflation Overtakes Aging

, , , , , , | Right | November 29, 2017

(It’s probably about minus 30 outside at the full-service gas station. I fill a very elderly lady’s vehicle, clean all the windows, and clean the lights. She comes out and gives me a tip.)

Customer: “Here you are, dear. Go buy yourself a coffee.”

(I looked down to see she gave me a quarter and a dime. The smallest coffee is still a dollar twenty five. She must have been pushing 90, so I didn’t think anything of it. She was very sweet, otherwise.)

Can’t Vouch(er) For Your Education

, , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I’m waiting in line behind a customer being served. She presents two sale vouchers to the cashier.)

Cashier: “Are you certain you would like to use these? It will cost more if—”

Customer: “I’ve already done the counting and double-checked. I know exactly what it will cost me. You people don’t know how to do maths; you let the machines do it for you.”

(The customer then goes on a tirade about how she is an Oxford graduate and how the cashier is potentially the stupidest person on the planet. She then goes through each item she is buying, applying the discounts the vouchers offer. The cashier, all the while, stands with the straightest face I’ve ever seen. After the customer finishes, she shrugs her shoulders and applies the vouchers.)

Cashier: “£69.40, please.”

Customer: “What? No. You did it wrong. It’s supposed to be £45.90. Here; I’ll go through it again, and keep up this time. You—”

Cashier: “I think it would be kinder to everyone else waiting if I simply draw your attention to the disclaimer at the bottom of the vouchers.”

Customer: “I read the entire thing, front and back.”

Cashier: “Clearly, reading isn’t your strong point, because in order to put these vouchers through, I had to cancel the sale prices and put everything through at full price.”

Customer: “No, you’re wrong. You see, I’m an Oxford graduate, and—”

Cashier: “I graduated with a doctorate from Oxford three years ago, so your credentials mean absolutely nothing, as far as I’m concerned.”

Customer: “You lying b****! If you’re from Oxford, why are you working in a shop?”

Cashier: “That’s certainly none of your business, but if it gets you out of here sooner: my mum owns the store, and I’m helping out while she has surgery.”

(With nothing else to go on, the customer stands there for a few seconds before running out of the building.)

Cashier: “Miss, please don’t forget your vouchers!”

(She didn’t turn back.)

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Your Credit Is In A (Hot)Spot Of Bother

, , , , , , , | Right | November 28, 2017

(I am a supervisor with 20 employees under my charge. We handle cellular service billing questions. When the situation arises, I take their escalated calls. This particular customer needs a credit for some overage charges, and by policy doesn’t rate a credit.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name] and I’m a supervisor for [Company].”

Customer: “Yeah, I need my overages credited this instant. I never used this much data before, and I need it credited.”

(The customer has a significant amount of overage that is more than I make every two weeks.)

Me: “I will gladly take a look at the account and see what’s causing the overage.”

Customer: “Yeah, you better! I’m not paying for this!”

Me: “Sir, I can definitely understand the frustration. If you just give me a second…”

(I bring up the customer’s account, look over every detail, and notice he has his phone set as a mobile hotspot, meaning he is using his phone as a Wi-Fi router.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I notice you have your hotspot turned on.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know. I know it’s protected; no one is stealing my data. Just tell me why I’m going over and credit it.”

Me: “I can not credit it unless it’s a malfunction with the phone or feature. I’d like to ask a couple of questions.”

(The customer at this point is sighing, and I see that his data usage is rising.)

Customer: “FINE! Ask all the f****** questions you need!”

Me: “What do you use your hotspot for?”

Customer: “Xbox. I use it to play games online. What else should I use it for?”

Me: “Wait, what?”

Customer: “I use it to game online, and Netflix.”

Me: “So, I found the problem. You’re using it for Xbox, which will eat up the data like PacMan eats pellets, and because of that, I will not credit the overage.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T CREDIT THE OVERAGE?! HOW THE F*** AM I GOING TO PAY FOR THIS?! FINE! I WON’T PAY MY BILL!”

Me: “Well, then, sir, it will go into collections, and ruin your credit.”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** CARE! I’M RICH! DO YOU HEAR ME?!”

Me: “Then you shouldn’t have a problem paying it.”

Customer: “I NEED TO FIX THIS! WHO CAN FIX THIS AND GIVE ME MY CREDIT?!”

(At this point I’m getting really annoyed at the customer, and just want the call to end.)

Me: “Microsoft.”

(At this point the customer knew they weren’t getting the credit and hung up the phone.)

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