Getting Some Cash Back Flack

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2018

Customer: “Can I get cash out here?”

Me: “Yes, up to $50.”

Customer: “$50?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is that all?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So I can’t get $125?”

Me: *internally screaming* “No.”

(I have some form of this conversation at least three times a day.)

20/20 Vision

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2018

Me: *hands cashier a $20 bill*

Cashier: “Please answer the questions on the screen.”

Me: *pressed button for $20 cash back*

Cashier: *dumbfounded look*

(I had gotten $20 from a group to buy a birthday gift for our friend. I used the $20 to buy the gift, but then realized I needed $20 later to buy other things!)

A Fee-ble Attempt At Avoiding The Fees

, , , | Right | January 3, 2018

(I work in the box office at a theater in NYC and have worked with and know a lot of people who work in theaters in the city, so I am familiar with many theater’s ticketing policies. A customer calls in to purchase tickets for a show. I have a ticket fee discussion with a customer at least once a day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Theater]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Do I pay the same fees online as I would if I bought them with you?”

Me: “Yes, the same fees apply online and over the phone. If you purchase in person at the box office the fees are waived.”

Customer: “That is absurd. $4.50 for each ticket? I’ve never heard of such a thing.”

Me: “It’s actually quite common for online and phone tickets sales at all theaters including movie theater ticket purchases.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve never seen such an expensive ticket fee! [Other Theater I work at] doesn’t have ticket fees!”

Me: “Actually they do. It’s a seven dollar fee. This theater actually has the cheapest ticket fee that I know of in the city.”

Customer: “Well, I’m not paying that. I refuse to pay the fee.”

Me: “Okay. Well if you come down to the theater and purchase at the box office the fees will be waived.”

Customer: “Can I reserve the tickets with you and then purchase them at the box office when I pick them up tonight?”

Me: “Unfortunately the only way to reserve tickets is by purchasing them. So if you want to take the chance that we’ll still have tickets for tonight’s show when you come, you can come down and just purchase at the box office you’ll save on the fees.”

Customer: “So, there is no way for me to get around the fees?!”

Me: “The only way avoid the fees is to purchase at the box office in person.”

Customer: “Well, will there still be tickets for tonight’s show?”

Me: “Which show?”

Customer: “Tonight’s show!”

Me: “We have multiple shows and multiple theaters in our building. Do you know—”

Customer: “The one at 7:30!”

Me: “We have [Show #1] at 7:30 and [Show #2] at 7:30. Do you know which one?”

Customer: “No! I was only told the 7:30 show at [Theater].”

Me: “Well [Show #1] is close to selling out. We only have about six tickets left. [Show #2] is a little more than 50% sold so we have more tickets for that.”

Customer: “So, will there be tickets when I come tonight?”

Me: “I can’t guarantee that there will be tickets at showtime, especially since [Show #1] is close to selling out.”

Customer: “Yes, but you’ll have tickets for [Show #2], right?”

Me: “It is more likely that we will but I still can’t guarantee there will be tickets because I can’t predict if people will buy tickets between now and then.”

Customer: “You mean to tell me that you have no idea if you will have tickets when I come there at 7:30?”

Me: “Correct. I cannot predict if people will purchase tickets between now and then.”

Customer: “Well, can you transfer me to someone who does?”

Me: *confused because no one at my theater has a crystal ball* “I don’t think anyone here knows that information.”

Customer: “Why not?”

Me: “Because all of that depends on if other people plan on purchasing tickets for the shows and we cannot predict what other people are going to do.”

Customer: “Well, this is absurd! I’m not paying those fees.”

Me: “All right, well, that’s the policy, so if you don’t want to pay the fees then we can’t reserve the tickets for you.”

Customer: “Then I won’t buy them.”

Me: “Okay.”


Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “So you don’t want me to buy the tickets?”

Me: “If you aren’t going to pay the full price then not only do I not want to sell them to you, but I physically can’t since it’s not possible.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll pay the fees.”

(Customer purchased tickets over the phone. I worked will-call later that night. She never picked up her tickets.)

Not In The Top Percentile, Part 2

, , , , , , | Working | January 3, 2018

(I buy some leggings that are 50% off of the original price of £8. There is something wrong with the tills, so the cashiers have to work stuff out on calculators. I am dumbfounded when the girl starts using her calculator to figure out 50% of £8.)

Cashier: “Um… That’s £7.84, please.”

Me: “No, that’s not right.”

Cashier: “50% off is £7.84.”

Me: “No, it should be £4.”

(The cashier takes her calculator and shows me how she worked it out. She divided 800 by 50 and took the answer, 16, off the £8.)

Me: “That’s not how you work out percentages. 50% is half; half of 8 is 4.”

Cashier: *pauses* “I think you’re right, actually. Sorry. That’s £4, please.”



Not In The Top Percentile

Fifty Reasons To Fire You

, , , , , | Working | January 1, 2018

(I have just started my shift. I do a quick safe check, because I notice that the compulsory daily check hasn’t been done, and I find it’s down $50. I check with my manager and fellow supervisor, who are both about to go home.)

Me: “Has anyone done a safe check or taken change today?”

(Both answer no.)

Me: “The safe is down $50.”

Manager: “Oh, yeah, I know; I took it to buy everyone dinner the other day. I haven’t been to the bank yet.”

(I offered to pay on the day we had dinner but the manager assured us that he had the money. The other supervisor and I look at each other with our eyes wide and both go for our wallets. I find $30 and she finds $20. )

Manager: “What are you two doing? I’ll pay it back by the weekend.”

Me: “You remember we’re due to be audited today or tomorrow?”

(Both of those are my managerial shifts, which would make me directly responsible for any shortfalls.)

Manager: “I just borrowed it; what would they do?”

Me: “What, apart from the instant firing, all of us ending up with police records?”

Manager: “I just borrowed it; it’s not wrong if I intend to pay it back. You’re just overreacting.”

Me: “They won’t see it as borrowing, and you’ve just made us accomplices after the fact.”

(He had also been falsifying records for the past two days. I suspect he would have happily let me take the blame or pay the $50 out of my own pocket when I noticed later that day; he doesn’t particularly like me because I keep pulling him up for doing things like this.)

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