Your Son Has Something To Tell You…

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I work as a manager for a supermarket. During times like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day we get in vast amounts of certain items that all go on offer. I have to jump on the checkouts to serve, as my current checkout operator needs a break. A male customer has come to my checkout holding flowers and a card for Mother’s Day. Please bear in mind that it is already Mother’s Day and we have sold through most of our stock.)

Me: “Hi there. How are you, and would you like any bags today?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want any of your f****** bags! What I do want to know is why [Store] employees are all a bunch of extortionate, immoral d****es?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Is there a problem? And if so, how can I help?”

Customer: “Oh, you can’t help me; all you workers are just mindless sheep, and you are the worst. You’re lower than dirt!”

(I take this a lot, so it doesn’t really bother me. His bill isn’t even that much; it is around £6.00.)

Me: “Well, that’s £6, sir.”

(He then threw the money down and walked away. Little did he know, though, his card said:

To Mum
Happy Mother’s Day
With love
From your Daughter)

Rated “M” For Misogyny

, , , , | Working | October 19, 2017

(I go with my brother and my mom to buy a game that recently came out. I am 17. The cashier gives the usual “did you find everything” speech. While this is happening, my brother is looking at other games, and I’m with my mom.)

Cashier: *to my mom* “Also, ma’am, I just need to tell you about the rating of this game. I don’t think it’s suitable for your son.”

Mom: “Actually, this game is for my daughter.”

(The cashier was quiet through the rest of the transaction.)

Your Excuse Has Been Declined

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s purchases, and now she’s swiping her card to pay. Unfortunately, it’s declined.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid that didn’t go through. Did you maybe want to try it again?”

Customer: “Huh? I just picked this card up from the bank before coming here. It should work. It’s brand new.”

Me: “That’s weird. Try it again.”

(She tries again. Once again, it doesn’t work.)

Me: “No, sorry. It’s saying ‘contact bank.’ Are you sure it’s been activated?”

Customer: “Yes. As I said, I just got it. Set it up again.”

Me: “Okay.”

(She tries paying again. Once again it is declined.)

Customer: “Why is it being declined? It should work.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe try going back to the bank and asking them. I’ll watch your shopping for you.”

(The bank in question is in the same shopping centre as my work, and roughly a two-minute walk away, so suggesting she quickly runs over there to find out what’s going on isn’t an unreasonable suggestion.)

Customer: “No. It’ll work. Let me try again.”

(Again she tries. Again it fails. Now she’s getting noticeably annoyed.)

Customer: “This is a new card. It should work. Why won’t you let it through?”

Me: “It’s not me. All I do is tell the register you’re paying by card, and you do the rest.”

Customer: “Well, then, it should work. Do it again, and make sure it isn’t rejected this time.”

(She ends up trying it about ten times in total, each time getting more and more annoyed at me, despite my insistence that it’s out of my power. Eventually, she gives up and pays cash, all the while muttering about how her card should work. She leaves, but ten minutes later she comes back with a smug look on her face.)

Customer: “Just so you know, I just used my new card to get money out of an ATM.”

Me: “Oh, good.”

Customer: “So, obviously, it was you that was the problem all along. Maybe keep that in mind next time you decide to reject my card and tell me it’s my fault.”

(D***, how could I have forgotten about ATMs? Now she could see right through my devious plan to stop her, a random 60-something-year-old woman whom I’d never met before, from paying for her groceries. Is it any wonder my heart now skips a panicked beat every time a customer’s card is rejected?)

Change Is Down For The Count

, , , , | Right | October 18, 2017

(A woman comes to the front, followed by another woman and a young boy. They have one item and three carts between them, and the first woman, who has the purchase, is busy with her phone while I ring her up.)

Me: “All right, your change is $78.81.”

(I count out $78 and hand it to her, but she doesn’t notice. Since I need to open a roll of quarters to get the rest of her change and it seems like they’re in a hurry, I put the money on the counter and reach for the coins.)

Customer: “Excuse me.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Did you just put my money down there instead of handing it to me?”

Me: “Sorry about that. It’s just that you were on your phone, and I needed both hands to get the rest of your change, so—”

Customer: “I don’t like it when people put my money on the counter.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that—”

Customer: “I didn’t put your money down, did I?”

Me: “No, you didn’t. I’m sor—”

Customer: “It’s just rude. It disrespects me.”

Me: “I’m so sorry. You were busy, and I thought you were in a hurry. Here’s the rest of your change.”

Customer: *to the other woman* “It’s just inconsiderate, isn’t it?”

(The other woman agreed and they left, muttering about how inconsiderate and rude I was, all while leaving the three large carts out in everyone’s way and ignoring my cheerful “Have a nice day!”)

A Case Of System-atic Failure

, , , , , | Right | October 12, 2017

(I’m more than halfway through a seven-hour shift, running on five hours of sleep, after a 17-hour day between school and work the previous day. I am supposed to have a cashier to run register, but the cashier hasn’t shown up for any of his shifts this week and we haven’t gotten a hold of him at all, so I am running the front end of the store myself for the entire time. This is right before a snowstorm, so we are unusually busy for a weekend morning. By the time this customer comes up, I am tired, frazzled from trying to help so many different customers at once, almost out of patience, and have more than fulfilled my daily requirement of idiocy. A lady walks up to my register and places a bag of [Store] brand candy and a package of [Popular Brand] Easter marshmallows.)

Customer: “Both of these items are on sale, two for three dollars. They should ring up that price. Make sure they ring up that price.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe they will ring up like that; these are two different brands, so they are two different sales. They don’t—”

Customer: “I don’t care if they are two different brands! They should ring up two-for-three!”

Me: “Let me ring them up and see how they ring up, but I’m just letting you know that is not typically how the sales work.”

(I ring up the items and run the customer’s store card.)

Me: “It looks like they both ran up at $1.59 each, so it’s close to the two-for-three deal.”

Customer: *slams hands on counter* “They should be two-for-three! What kind of store doesn’t honor their sales?”

Me: “Ma’am, we do honor our sales; however, the sale tags do say that the single purchase price is more than if you buy two and—”

Customer: “I have two!”

Me: “Yes, but they are two different brands. I know it can be confusing, and we get this sometimes with makeup. Like if [Makeup Brand #1] and [Makeup Brand #2] are both on sale, buy one get one half off, and you bought an eyeshadow from both, would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: *nods emphatically* “Yes!”

Me: “Okay. What if there is that same sale on hair dye and [brand] macaroni and cheese? Would you expect to get one of them half off?”

Customer: “Of course!”

(By this time there are about five people behind her that are starting to get impatient. After a couple more tries of explaining it to her…)

Me: “That, unfortunately, is not how the system works. Would you still like both of the products?”

Customer: *throws card at me* “Yes, fine, whatever. And don’t tell me how the system works! I’ve been in the system for fifty years! I know how the system works.”

Me: “Wow, you must have been a loyal customer from the start! The company has only recently celebrated our 50th anniversary! We appreciate your loyalty!” *slight sarcasm*

(She finally grabbed her bags and left, and I was able to greet the next customer. But not before hitting my head against the wall first.)

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