I worked at a truck stop about twenty years ago. It was a weekend, and there were only two of us working, and managers never worked weekends.

I was working by myself while the other cashier went on her break. I started getting a little bit of a line, but nothing drastic. One man yelled at me:

Customer: “Can’t you open another register?!”

Me: “I could, but I could still only run one at a time.”

Customer: “Two registers, two hands!”

Me: “And sadly, only one brain, so I’d have to divide my attention between the two, so each line will take twice the time.”

Customer: *Goes back to waiting in sullen silence.*

A customer answers her phone just as she starts unloading her groceries onto the conveyor belt.

Customer: *Into her phone.* “Oh, hi. No, I’m not doing anything important. Just grocery shopping, I can talk.”

And talk she does. Non-stop. Meanwhile, all the scanned groceries are piling up. She puts her bags up at the end of the belt, so I just stop until she realises I need them. 

She tuts, rolls her eyes, picks them up, and practically throws them at me.

Customer: *To her phone.* “No, that wasn’t for you. The cashier is being a bit of a b****.”

Moving from passive-aggressive to just aggressive!

I’m normally a bit fussy about how I pack a customer’s bags, but not this time. I do keep soft fruit, bread, and cleaning products separate (I’m not a monster), but for the rest, I don’t care.

Customer: *Interrupting her phone call.* “Uh, excuse me, you’re bagging it wrong.”

Me: “It’s just grocery shopping, ma’am. It’s not important. Keep talking to your friend!”

Customer: *Staring at me, but talking to her phone.* “I’m gonna call you back.”

She hung up and did her own bagging (yay!) while I finished scanning her items in silence (from both of us!).

Two guys are in my lane at the superstore, which is odd already, as two other checkouts are open and there aren’t any other customers queuing at those.

The first guy has a PlayStation game in his hand, changes his mind, and tosses it into a bin of $5 items. I internally roll my eyes and make a note to go fish it out after I’ve served these two customers.

The guy pays and leaves, no issue. I start scanning the second customer when he presents the same PlayStation game.

Customer: “I found this in the $5 bin.”

Me: “That’s a $60 new release, sir.”

Customer: “Doesn’t matter. It was in the $5 bin, so you have to honor that price.”

Me: “It was actually just dropped in there a minute ago by the customer ahead of you. I can’t sell it to you for $5.”

Customer: “Nope. None of that matters. You have to give it to me for $5 or I’m reporting you for false advertising.”

Me: “Go on then.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “Report me for false advertising. I’m a minimum-wage employee at a billion-dollar company. Why should I care? Now, am I checking you out for your other items?”

The customer just stood there, stuck in some mental loop where he didn’t anticipate me not really giving a f***. He just tosses the game on the belt and walks away, leaving behind all his other items.

I saw him walk up to the previous customer in the parking lot, and they started arguing, so they were obviously in cahoots.

The checkout furthest from the store exit is card only, and has always been card only. It has about six signs on it, in it, and around it, stating this fact.

A customer sees my manager adding a seventh sign.

Customer: “Is that really necessary? There are so many signs for the customers to read!”

Manager: “These signs, like all the signs in the store, aren’t for customers to read; they’re for us to point to when customers don’t read.”

Customer: “Oh. But I read them.”

Manager: “Have you ever worked retail?”

Customer: “Yeah.”

Manager: “That’s why.”

I was working as a cashier and went to hand the customer his receipt. He waves down my receipt-holding hand and says:

Customer: “Keep it, less waste in the world.”

Me: “It’s already printed, sir.”

Customer: *Suddenly angry.* “Well make a f****** paper airplane with it, then!” *Storms off.*

I made a little Concorde! I wrote ‘F*** You Airlines’ on the side of it.