Rubber? You Bet!

, , , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(It’s my first weekend cashiering by myself after finishing my training. I’m at the speedy checkout at the slower end of the store finishing up helping a lady, when I look over and see three boys about my age walking up. I am a very innocent person, and one boy has a box of condoms.)

Boy: “I’m sorry. I lost a bet.”

Me: *not making eye contact* “You’re fine.”

Boy: “This is so awkward.”

Me: “It won’t be if you don’t make it.”

Boy: “It’s a good thing I’m Indian so you can’t see me blush.”

(It took everything I had to hold it together, and to this day I regret not asking what the bet was.)

It’s None Of Your Business That We’re Going Out Of Ours

, , , , | Right | March 20, 2019

(The store where I work is going out of business, so everything is currently a final sale. We are under court order to not do any returns, exchanges, or anything of the sort. It’s stated all over the store, as well as on the receipt, plus every cashier tells the customer before they make a purchase. On this day, we have already dealt with a power outage before we started working and some technical issues once the power was back. Before we open the doors, many of us notice a woman standing with one of our bags. We know what’s going to happen and since I am the most senior employee at the cash, I tell them I’ll handle it once she is inside. When we finally open the doors, she comes right up to the side of the registers. My coworkers look over at me, so I go to her.)

Customer: *looking like she will cry at any moment* “I got this coat yesterday, but I’d tried on a medium and thought it was small. So, I took a large and tried it. It fit, but then I put it back, and then I grabbed it again, but I guess I took XL by accident. I wanted to just exchange it for the right size, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there’s absolutely no returns or exchanges or anything like that anymore.”

Customer: *still looks like she might cry, but her eyes are clear* “What? Can I talk to your manager? Maybe she could help.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but these aren’t the manager’s orders. We are under court order and cannot do any returns or exchanges. It’s all over the store, and we tell everyone for exactly that reason.”

Customer: *completely changes her mood; she is now mad* “Well, that’s just great! You know what? I’ve been shopping here for years, and I will never shop here again!”

Me: “Well, we are going out of business, so really, it doesn’t matter.”

(The customer then stormed off. My coworker was still working on opening the doors when she walked out, and she told us later that the customer was calling us all sorts of names and swearing at us. I thought it was funny, as did most of my coworkers.)

Not A Time Saving

, , , | Right | March 18, 2019

(A customer has just put six items in front of me. I ring them up and tell her the price.)

Customer: “No, that’s not right. They are supposed to be discounted; there’s a sign.”

Me: “Oh, that sign’s supposed to have come down by now. I can give you the discount on this one, but the others are a different brand and were not part of the sale.”

Customer: “But they are the same thing.”

Me: “They are different brands. The sign does clearly say [Brand], which this one is; it’s the most expensive at $9.99 but giving you the discount brings it down to $7.98. The others are $7.99 at full price.”

Customer: “So, what is the difference? The expensive one is bigger?”

Me: “It looks bigger because the packaging is bigger, but it holds exactly the same amount as the others.”

(I point out the sizing.)

Customer: “And what is the price?”

Me: “Those are $7.99, and that one is $7.98”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll be back.” *takes the $7.99 items with her*

(Ten minutes later, she was back with five of the other items that I had to mark down manually. I spent time doing that. Then, she handed me one of our customer cards, which cancelled out all of my deductions and I had to redo everything. The customer wasted twenty minutes of her time to save just five cents.)

How Dare There Be OTHER Customers?!

, , , , | Right | March 13, 2019

(I’m ringing up a couple when the husband goes back into the aisles to grab something else. Meanwhile, a lady walks up behind them to get rung up. I ask the wife who stayed at the register if I can postpone her transaction to ring up the lady behind her, and she says sure. I ring the lady waiting behind them, and then the husband comes back. I total the order and process the store credit, which requires me to see a license. I scan the license, and the store credit is not registered under the husband’s name. The store credit gets temporarily inactivated due to a system glitch.)

Me: “Did you retrieve this credit with your own license?”

Husband: “I don’t know. Probably.”

Me: “Your name did not match—“

Husband: “I just saw my name pop up.”

Me: “That was for the other store cred—“

Husband: “Get me a manager.”

(The manager comes and messes around with the register.)

Wife: “This is all because she couldn’t wait two minutes for my husband to come back.”

Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but there are other people in this store.”

Wife: “She was waiting patiently.”

Me: “Ma’am, I apologize, but I did ask you if I could take the next person, and you said yes.”

Wife: “What did you expect me to say, no?”

Me: “That is why I asked.”

The Couponator 13: Coupons Of Purchases Past

, , , , , | Right | March 12, 2019

(Recently our registers started printing out coupons and promotions along with the receipts. Once a customer hits a certain dollar amount, they get an extra coupon. We are currently giving a coupon for 50% off a regular-priced item for customers spending over $20. We are in the middle of the expiration dates listed on the coupon, so it is “live” and can be used immediately. However, the fine print specifically states that it cannot be used on a previous purchase. I’ve had several people want to immediately return what they just purchased to and then repurchase with the coupon they just received, but this transaction goes above and beyond. A woman approaches the register with a store bag full of yarn. Seeing all of the signs of a return, I greet her:)

Me: “Are you making a return today?”

Customer: “Yes, I purchased these yesterday and I got a coupon for half off, so I wanted to apply it to my purchase.”

Me: “I’m sorry, those coupons are good for future purchases and cannot be used on previous purchases.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t have the coupon until I bought the yarn. It printed with the receipt, so I couldn’t have used it with my purchase!”

(I’m thinking, “EXACTLY!” but lately corporate has been very pro-customer and we have basically been told to never say no and to make the customer happy no matter what. So, even though it is against policy, I know that once I ask my manager, I’ll be told to go ahead and break it, return the item, and then apply the coupon. Still, I have to do a token refusal so the customer feels like they are getting their way.)

Me: “Well, let me see your receipt and I’ll ask my manager what we can do.”

Customer: “I actually don’t have my receipt; can’t you just look it up? I bought it yesterday, and my name is [Customer].”

Me: “Ma’am, I have no way of looking up a transaction by a customer’s name; we simply don’t take that information. And I wouldn’t be able to process a return without a receipt and do what you’re asking; all returns without receipt are automatically priced at the lowest price it could have been purchased at in the past 90 days, which would likely be half-off, so you would end up not getting any money back by repurchasing and applying a half-off coupon. It would zero out.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why you can’t just give me the difference.”

Me: “Ma’am, if you show me your coupon I can show you what the conditions of the coupon are.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t have the coupon with me; it printed with the receipt, so it’s wherever that is!”

Me: “I want to make sure I understand what you’re asking. You want me to return an item you purchased, to apply a coupon you only got because you purchased the item, and you want me to do this without a receipt showing the purchase or the coupon you want me to apply?”

Customer: “Yes! That’s not hard, is it?”

The Couponator 12: The Special Competition
The Couponator 11: Barcode Of Duty
The Couponator 10: Expiration Day

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