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When Even Pooping Is A Luxury

, , , , , , , , | Right | October 26, 2021

I turn in my notice to a retail job and am working my last two weeks. A lady comes through with a small child, maybe two years old, and is only buying diapers and garbage bags.

After going through SEVERAL cards and all of them getting declined, she is getting frustrated but remaining polite. She is digging through her purse yet again but can find no other method of payment.

I see no nearby supervisors and so I look at the lady.

Me: “Okay, this is what was going to happen. I am going to take $40 out of my wallet and hand it to you, and then you are going to hand it back to me and I am going to put it in the register.”

Before the lady can respond, I have my wallet out and hand her the money. She takes it rather hesitantly but then hands it back. I put it in my till, hand her what little change there is and the receipt, and wish her a wonderful evening.

Customer: *Starting to cry* “Thank you so much! I am going to tell your manager about you!”

I asked her not to. She did end up telling the supervisor that I was extremely helpful with her order, but thankfully, she left it vague which is fine. I just wasn’t going to let that kid go home without diapers.

If You’re Behind A Bad Customer, Be A Good One

, , , , | Right | October 25, 2021

I am a customer in line, standing behind an older lady who just reeks of “Can I speak to your manager?” She is trying to pay with three different gift cards, and the last one is having trouble going through. She then peers at the cashier, her eyes raising above her glasses and looking so smug.

Customer: “You need to clean this machine; it clearly isn’t working. Or is that too much work for you?”

She tries one more time and then decides to pay the rest in cash. She then walks off in a huff. As soon as I get up and pay with my card, it gets accepted immediately.

Me: “My card works just fine. I think her brain was broken, not the machine.”

The cashier just smiled and the customer behind me laughed.

Just Say Thanks For The Extra Penny And Hush

, , , | Right | October 23, 2021

I worked overnight as a gas station cashier by myself. Since the day shifts would often leave me without change left in the safe that I had access to, I’d sometimes round amounts that involved pennies to keep my drawer balanced. Most people didn’t care.

Then, I encountered this woman. I rounded her change up by one penny to avoid giving her four I didn’t have.

Me: “Here’s your change. Have a nice day.”

Customer: “This is wrong! You gave me the wrong change!”

I tried to explain to her why I’d rounded up, but she wouldn’t listen. She returned during the morning shift to complain to my manager, too.

Double The Bags, Half The Brain

, , , , , | Working | October 22, 2021

I’m scanning and bagging my almost $300 worth of groceries while the monitor employee comes over.

Employee: “Why are you double-bagging all of your groceries?”

Me: “Excuse me?” 

Employee: “You are wasting our bags!”

Me: “If you don’t like the way I’m bagging the groceries, feel free to come on over here and bag them yourself.”

Employee: “That’s not my job!”

Me: “Okay, then I will bag my groceries how I please if that’s all right with you.”

Employee: “Why are you using two bags?!”

Me: “Because the bags are weak and I don’t want the handles to break or the bottoms to rip out.”

Employee: “Well, that’s because you are putting too much stuff in the bag. If you took half of that stuff out and put it in a different bag, then you wouldn’t need to double-bag.”

This is followed by ten seconds of me just staring at her.

Me: “So, you want me to split these items in half and put half of them in a different bag so that I don’t have to double-bag.”

Employee: “Exactly.”

Me: “So, I would still be using two bags to hold the same number of items.”

Employee: “No, because you wouldn’t be double-bagging.”

I’m pressing two fingers to my left eye in an attempt to make it stop twitching.

Me: “Okay, so here I have a jug of milk and a bottle of juice double-bagged. If I take the milk out and remove the double-bagging and just put the milk in the single bag and the juice in that single bag, I’m still using two bags for these two items.”

Employee: “No, because you are not double-bagging them, so it’s not the same number of bags.”

I’m looking around at about ten other customers who are enjoying the show.

Employee: “Never mind, you just don’t get it.”

And with that, she went back to her little podium.

This Coupon Seriously Does Not Compute

, , , , , , , , , | Working | October 22, 2021

I was finishing up running errands; the last thing on my to-do list was to pick up groceries, including pet food. My husband and I buy a particular brand of dog food that, while high quality, is fairly expensive (~$50 a bag), so when I see that a “Buy Two Bags, Get A Third Free” sale is going on, I jump on it. I put three of the thirty-pound bags in my cart, grab the coupon, and finish my shopping before heading to the register.

The cashier sees all my dog food.

Cashier #1: “Got a lot of dogs?”

Me: “Nope, just one big one! But y’all have a sale going on that’s almost too good to be true, so I jumped on it.”

I hand over the coupon and we chat a little about our dogs as she rings me up, but when she goes to scan the coupon, her computer shows an error.

Cashier #1: “Huh. It’s saying this coupon is invalid.”

Me: “That’s odd. Is it expired?”

Cashier #1: “No, it doesn’t look like it’s expired. Where did you get it? If it was from another location, then it might be store specific.”

Me: “No, I got it off of one of the coupon rings in the dog food aisle just a couple of minutes ago. There’s a whole stack of them there. I could go grab another one, if you think that would help?”

Cashier #1: “Here, let me call a manager real quick. Do you mind waiting a minute?”

Me: “Sure, I’ve got nothing else to do today.”

The cashier calls a manager, who comes over, and she explains the situation. He checks the coupon, and then tries to override the error, only for the computer to completely shut down.

Cashier #1: “What just happened?”

Manager #1: “I’m… not sure. Hang on, let me try this again.”

He sends the cashier to go get another coupon while he gets the computer running again. They both verify that the coupons aren’t expired or misprinted, and that I’ve brought the correct products to the register, and while they’re doing that, another cashier comes over to see what’s going on.

By now, the computer has rebooted and the two cashiers are unbagging, rescanning, and rebagging my items, which I then pay for, agreeing to purchase the dog food separately just in case. And thank goodness for that, because once everything else is paid for and in my cart, we scan the dog food again, the coupon again, and the computer shuts down for a second time.

We’re all confused, as there seems to be no reason for the coupon to be causing such problems. The first manager has called for a second, higher-ranking manager and two more employees have come over to see what’s going on. The lane has been closed so no one is stuck waiting in line behind me, and there are now seven people, including me, standing around this register.

I’m chatting with them all, trying to reassure them I’m neither upset nor in a hurry — though I am starting to get a little worried about the ice cream in my cart — as clearly, they’re all pretty flummoxed and apologetic. For a third time, the computer shuts down trying to process this coupon, and after the higher-ranking manager calls the highest-ranking employee in the store, we get an explanation… sort of.

Manager #2: “As far as we can tell, there’s a limited amount you can save on any given item with a coupon. For an item that costs [dog food amount], you’ll only be able to save up to $10, and this coupon saves you $40, so the computer won’t process it.”

Me: “Okay, I guess that makes sense. But… doesn’t the computer make the coupons?”

Cashier #1: *Laughing a little* “Yes, it does, so we’re not sure why it printed these if it won’t even process them.”

Manager #1: “It says that, to override the error, it requires a Z-level employee to authorize it, which is something I’ve never actually heard of before.”

Manager #2: “That is literally higher than anyone who works at this store. That’s like the CEO of [Store].”

Cashier #2: “Basically, it’s equating this coupon to trying to sell alcohol before noon on a Sunday.”

That is illegal where I live.

Cashier #2: “Honestly, even if we had a Z-level employee here, the computer still probably wouldn’t allow it.”

By now, we’re all laughing at the absurdity of the situation — that the computer is refusing to accept a coupon it generated unless an employee with an impossible level of authority overrides the system.

Me: “Wow, I guess this sale actually was too good to be true! Well, in that case, I’m going to have to put two of the bags back and just stick to buying the one.”

Cashier #1: “I’m really sorry about that, ma’am. I’ve never seen something like this happen before.”

Me: “No worries! I appreciate you guys trying to get the thing to work for me. Sorry for taking up so much of y’all’s time!”

Cashier #1: “It’s all right. Thank you for being so patient.”

Two of the other employees took the bags back for me while the rest returned to their jobs. Ultimately, they removed the coupons from the shelf to avoid any future issues and I paid for my one bag of dog food before heading to my car with my groceries. All in all, it took almost forty-five minutes from the moment I got in line to the moment I walked out to my car.

Once home, I texted the story to a friend of mine who works for the same grocery store chain but at a different location, and she, too, had never heard of a “Z-level” employee before. Though my ice cream was pretty melted when I got home, I like to think I at least left the employees with a rare, wholesome retail story.