Losing The Numbers Game

, , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I work for a small non-profit that connects people with legal resources. A local hotel accidentally gave out our phone number instead of theirs to a bunch of guests. I have a variation of this phone call about seven times this day.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Non-Profit]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Is this [Hotel]?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry. This is [Non-Profit]. We’re a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: “Are you in need of legal resources?”

Caller: “Of course not! I’m trying to call [Hotel].”

Me: “Well, this isn’t [Hotel]; this is a non-profit.”

Caller: “But this is the number I was given!”

Me: *slams head into desk*

Working Overtime On This Relationship

, , , , | Romantic | July 31, 2018

(Our company offices are located in a small town near the city where I live. Because of a business meeting with our Korean partners, I get stuck at work way overtime. My boyfriend of four years borrows my car that day, so I call him to pick me up.)

Boyfriend: *obviously just woke up* “Um, hello?”

Me: “Sorry to wake you up. Can you please pick me up at work? We just finished.”

Boyfriend: “Ugh, what time is it?

Me: “It’s 11 pm. The last bus left twenty minutes ago.”

Boyfriend: “Why not take a car? You have a car.”

Me: “You borrowed my car, remember? You promised to pick me up when we finish.”

Boyfriend: “Take a taxi. I’m in bed.”

Me: “It’s Friday night, and there is a music festival nearby. My boss already tried to call a taxi, but everyone is busy.”

Boyfriend: “Then walk. And can you sleep on a couch tonight? I don’t want you to wake me up again when you get home. You know I need sleep more than you. “

Me: “You want me to walk eight miles through the forest and fields at night? What—” *click*

(He hangs up on me. I stare at the phone, then try taxis again without any luck. I call my brother.)

Brother: “Hey, sis, what’s up?”

Me: “Hey, are you home?”

Brother: “Not yet. My train was delayed so I’m still on my way, but in five minutes I should be in the city. What’s wrong?”

Me: “Can you please pick me up at work? I had overtime, the last bus to [Town] already left, taxis are fully booked because of the festival, and our parents are at [Uncle]’s party. Mum’s car should be at home because they took a bus.”

Brother: “No problem, but it will take me around an hour to get to your office if I’m lucky and catch a night bus from the station to home. What happened to your car?”

Me: “It’s in front of my house. [Boyfriend] borrowed it because he had a day off, and now he is asleep and doesn’t want to pick me up.”

Brother: *pause* “I’m not going to comment on it, but you know what I’m thinking right now. See you in an hour.”

(Later, when I repeated my call with my boyfriend to my brother, he was so furious he even forgot he hates driving and offered to help me to pack my boyfriend’s stuff. I got home around 12:30 am and really slept on the couch, because otherwise I would have just suffocated him with a pillow. I told him to pack his stuff couple weeks later when he left me sitting on the floor with a possibly broken arm and went back to play his PC game.)

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In Fact You’re VERY Sorry To Have Called Them

, , , , , | Friendly | July 23, 2018

(I handle the phone at work. It’s a fairly busy and chaotic day. I get a call from a client with an emergency, and after that I quickly need to call my coworker on his mobile. I don’t have the number saved in my phone, so I type the number in manually. Because of all the stress I have had, I accidentally push the wrong buttons and have a typo in the number.)

Stranger: *picks up phone* “Yes?”

(I am instantly unsure if it’s really my coworker on the phone, because the voice sounds very unfriendly.)

Me: “Um… Hello? [Coworker]?”

Stranger: *yelling* “Who’s there?”

Me: “Oh… Wrong number.”

(I hang up, quickly trying to call my coworker again, as I really have an emergency going on. This time I type in the right number, but he doesn’t pick up his phone. I try to think of what to do next, when my phone rings. I can see the number of the caller on my display. It’s the “wrong number” I just accidentally called.)

Me: *picking up* “Welcome to [Business]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Stranger: “Did you just call me?”

Me: “Yes, I think I did. I misdialed.”

Stranger: *very unfriendly* “So, you don’t even think it’s necessary to say sorry?”

Me: *baffled* “Well… Sorry I didn’t say sorry when I misdialed your number. You’re right. I should have said sorry.”

(I think this is the end of the conversation. But it’s not.)

Stranger: “Well, how did this happen in the first place? How can you accidentally call the wrong number?! This shouldn’t happen!”

Me: “It can happen when you’re under lots of stress and handle the phone all day. As I said, I’m sorry for calling you.”

Stranger: *almost shouting* “NO! This can’t happen! You’re such a horrible person, it’s disgusting. You called me and didn’t even say sorry. You didn’t even say your name. I know your number. I’m going to call the police. I know exactly where you live. I’m a lawyer myself, and I’m going to ruin your life!”

Me: *shocked* “You want to sue me because I accidentally dialed your number?”

Stranger: “You didn’t even say you’re sorry!”

Me: *trying to calm stranger down and ending the call* “I’ve said it in this conversation already, and I am going to say it again: I’m very sorry for calling you. I hope you have a great remaining day.”

Stranger: “You can stop with your sarcasm there! I’ll sue you! This can’t happen!! I’ll ruin your life! You’re such a bad person. I’ll end your career!” *hangs up*

(I never heard from that person ever again.)

This Call Is Not Their Calling

, , , | Right | July 19, 2018

(Receiving an inbound call:)

Me: “Good morning. I’m [My Name]; how may I help you?”

Client: “Hey, can I have your number so I can call you back?”

Me: “Well, sir, you are calling right now.”

Client: “Yeah, but can have the number?”

(A moment of silence…)

Me: “Yes, of course!”

It Was A Clean Attack

, , , , , | Romantic | June 5, 2018

(My boyfriend and I have been playing separate computer games while on a voice call with each other. We have been silent for a while, but then I hear snoring.)

Me: “[Boyfriend], wake up. Wake up! [Boyfriend]! Wake up!”

Boyfriend: “Hm? Wha?”

Me: “You fell asleep. You should probably go to bed.”

Boyfriend: “Aw, but–NO! F***! S***! NO! GET AWAY! BAD! F***! F*** OFF, YOU DEMON VACUUM! No, no, f***, f***, GET AWAY FROM MY COMPUTER!”

Me: “Uh… Dear? This in your game or in real life?”

Boyfriend: “Real life. My roommate’s roomba came to life and tried to attack my computer tower…”

(His computer was fine, but I think that thoroughly woke the both of us.)

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