I am covering reception as our receptionist has the morning off. I get a call from a woman. Our company name has a man’s name in it, and my coworker’s name is a very obvious man’s name.

Me: “[Company], [My Name] speaking; how can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’m looking for [Company Male Name]?”

Me: “Uh… yes, that’s part of the name of our company, but who are you looking to speak with?”

Caller: “Oh! Uh…”

I hear the sound of some papers being shuffled around.

Caller: “Let me see if I can just find that name… [Coworker]?”

Me: “Oh, yes, [Coworker]. Unfortunately, he has just stepped into a meeting and will only be out in the next hour; would you like to call him then? I can let him know you called, so he will be expecting to hear from you.”

Caller: “Is that a man or a woman?”

Me: “Um, [Coworker] is a man.”

Caller: “Oh, great, so can I speak with him?” 

Me: “As I said, he’s just stepped into a meeting; you can call him in the next hour when he is available.”

Caller: “It’s just that he sent us a query, and it got redirected to my branch, and we do [certain work], and I’m the person that can help with this query, so I’m calling him to give him feedback.”

Me: “Yes, that’s fine, but he’s in a meeting; he will only be available in the next hour.”

Caller: “But he sent me this query and I’m supposed to speak with him, sooooo…”

I am getting frustrated as my incoming calls are backing up, and coworkers are standing at my desk waiting to ask me for assistance.

Me: “He. Is. In. A. Meeting! He will only be available in an hour. He is unavailable right now. I am unable to put you through, as he is in a meeting.”

Caller: “Ohhhhh, is he in a meeting? All right, I’ll call him back; when will he be done?”

This was the first call of the day; I was already exhausted.

My husband and I are fairly certain that he has had a case of the current bug, but since it was a very mild case and was earlier than most people were worrying about it, we didn’t get him tested. We are looking at getting antibody tests to make sure that’s what it was before we assume that we can go out and about. I’m calling all the hospitals around to see who offers the test.

Operator: “[City] Hospital, how may I direct your call?”

Me: “Hi, I’m wondering if you offer [illness] antibody testing, and if so, how much does it cost?”

Operator: *Somewhat sarcastically* “Well, as a lowly operator, I’m not sure.”

Me: “Oh, don’t say that. Operators are important, especially at a hospital.”

Operator: “I suppose so. We could be given better information, though, I’ll say that much. But I can transfer you to the hotline, and they’ll be able to answer your questions for you. Just so you know, calls for them seem to come in spurts, so they are either very busy, or very bored. So, just in case they’re very busy, let me give you their phone number, so you can call back instead of waiting on hold forever.”

I grab a pen and paper and she tells me the hotline number. After the area code, five of the seven digits are “seven.”

Me: “Oh, that’s easy enough to remember. When it doubt, stick a seven in!”

She lost it. After a minute, she got control of herself and transferred me. It must have been one of their “very boring” times, because I had a wait of about five seconds. I’m glad I was able to make her day as much as her earlier sarcasm made mine.

(This happened at my home. I kept getting calls asking for a Dr. [Doctor] of the dialysis department of a nearby hospital. A woman called a few times, leaving a message on my mailbox, saying that she’s worried about her husband and why nobody would call her back. So I decided to call her and tell her she’s the wrong number.)
Woman: “[Woman]?”
Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name]. You called me several times and left messages on my mailbox, asking for a Dr. [Doctor] of the dialysis department of [Hospital].”
Woman: “Yes! Oh, thank you for calling me back! I’ve been so worried that I didn’t hear anything from you, and I was never able to reach anyone!”
Me: “Not surprising. You have the wrong number. This is a private number, I am not associated with the hospital.”
Woman: “Oh… but… it says on the flyer right here. They have these flyers they give to patients with contact information.”
Me: “Can you double check please?”
Woman: “Of course… let’s see… is it [My Number]?”
Me: “Well… that’s my number. Maybe there’s a typo on there. I just checked, the number is actually…” (so the number is identical, with an additional 8 at the end, so 12348 instead of 1234.)
Woman: “Wait… oh THERE it is! I did not see the 8, the fold is in the way!”
(Turns out the flyer was folded in such a way that the fold line ran through the 8, obscuring it. Which is the reason why people kept calling me instead of the hospital. The woman thanked me profoundly and I called the hospital about it. They promised me to fold the flyers differently next time. I had two more erranous calls, and none ever since.)

I spent a few weeks handing out resumes to the stores in my local mall. I ended up getting a job at one and have been there for about one week.

On a day I’m scheduled to start work in the evening, I get a phone call. The person on the other end is talking very rapidly and I have a hard time making out everything they’re saying. 

Caller: “Are you coming in to work today?”

Me: “Yes. I didn’t think I was scheduled to start for a few more hours.”

Caller: “You were supposed to be here half an hour ago! Are you coming or not?”

I’m panicked because it’s a new job that I really need.

Me: “I am so sorry; I must have misread the schedule! I’ll be right in!”

I rush about to get ready and catch a bus to the mall. I rush into the shop and apologize profusely. My boss looks super confused. 

Boss: “You don’t start for another two hours. I didn’t call you!”

I am baffled, as well. Seeing as the bus takes about half an hour to get me home, I decide to just kill time in the mall until my shift starts. Twenty minutes later, I get another call. 

Caller: “Where are you? This is very unprofessional; do I need to get your shift covered?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but who is this?”

The caller identifies themself as someone from a store where I dropped off a resume but never got called for an interview.

Me: “I don’t work for you! I’ve never worked for you. I dropped a resume off weeks ago but never heard from you.”

Caller: “Oh, whoops. I must have written down the wrong number.”

Me: “I rushed into my job thinking I was actually late because of your call and wasted my afternoon!”

Caller: *Hangs up*

Related:
You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 8
You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 7
The Wrongest Number Got You
The Wrongest Reply To The Wrong Number
You Got The Wrongest Number, Part 6

After moving into our new home, my husband and I are assigned a new telephone number. Supposedly, numbers are dormant for two years before they are reassigned, but the number we are given clearly has just belonged to someone who left the area without informing his numerous friends and even more numerous creditors. The winner, though, is the bank officer.

The phone rings.

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “Hello, this is [Caller] from [Bank]. I’m looking for [Former Phone Number Holder].”

I launch into my speech that is, by now, well-rehearsed.

Me: “I’m sorry. We were assigned this number by the telephone company. We don’t know the guy and we don’t know anything about him.”

The caller pauses.

Me: “…”

Caller: “Do you have another number for him?”