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We Hope One Of Them Wasn’t Electrocuted!

, , , | Right | September 20, 2021

Me: “I’m calling about an overdue electricity account.

Customer: “You can’t cut me off! I have three or four children!

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Country Living Is A Real Gas

, , , | Working | September 8, 2021

When I was a boy, we moved out of the city to an old farmhouse in the country. It wasn’t exactly remote, but it was in a very rural location, and the only main services it had were telephone and electricity — no gas, and water came from a borehole.

We were rather surprised by the arrival one day of a van from a British gas company. The van parked in the front drive, and the driver walked up to the door and knocked. Mum answered the door.

Mum: *Understandably confused* “Hello, can I help you with anything?”

Man: *Presenting his ID* “Yes, [Gas Company]. I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “We don’t have gas.”

Man: “But I’m here to read the meter.”

Mum: “Well, if you can find one, you’re more than welcome to read it, but it must be very well hidden.”

The man from the gas company looked around at the beautiful country setting and nodded.

Man: “I thought it looked kind of an odd place to have gas.”

In a sort of appendix to the whole business, later that same year, the gas company sent a letter saying that they were assigning a new meter number and that the enclosed sticker should be attached to the gas meter — the gas meter that didn’t exist.

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Signs Point To Business As Usual

, , , , , , | Working | September 2, 2021

I have a retired racing greyhound. Obviously, she loves to run, and one of the “rules” for adopting her was that she always has to either be in an enclosed area or on a leash. If she got out, we would never catch her!

We recently moved into a house with a fenced yard — yay! I ordered a sign for the gate that says, “Warning: There’s a greyhound in here. Keep gate closed at all times,” hoping that it would help the gate, you know, stay closed so I wouldn’t have to check it every time I let her out.

The very first person other than my fiancé and me to use the gate was a utility worker, coming to install a new water meter. As he needed to get into the basement, I told him to go around back and I would open the basement door. About an hour later, he was back at the front door to let me know he was finished. I’m sure you know where this is going.

Later, I noticed the gate was open. Luckily, we hadn’t actually moved the dog into the new house yet. We’re going to padlock the gate for extra security, but I’m a little bummed that my sign didn’t work at all. Although, as a reader of this site, I’m not sure what I expected.

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Water You Doing With Your Water?!

, , , | Right | CREDIT: butterthenugget | August 8, 2021

Caller: “Hi, I was just calling in to see why my bill went up.”

Me: “It looks like your usage increased last year. We are seeing this a lot because of everything going on at the moment. Did you start working from home?”

Caller: “No, we weren’t working; we were just sitting in the garden.”

Me: “We have here that there are two children at the property. Were they home from school?”

Caller: “Well, yeah, but they weren’t showering all the time.”

Me: “But they were home a lot more than normal.”

Caller: “Yeah, but they weren’t using water.”

I got the customer to do a leak test because, apparently, nobody in the house was allowed to use the water except for a weekly shower, according to the caller and many others I have spoken to over the last year.

Yes, water can be expensive, and it’s a pain that we have to pay for something that is so basic for our survival, but it is clean and delivered straight to our houses which is better than a lot of people get.

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Should Put Their Energy Into Paying Their Energy

, , , , , | Right | May 5, 2021

I work for an energy supplier. A tenant sends us documents proving he moved out of a property we supply two months ago. He assumed his landlord had already contacted us, but he just received his quarterly statement and wanted to let us know he isn’t in the property anymore. He pays up to the day he moved out and provides the address of his landlord to send the bill for the last two months. The landlord calls us.

Landlord: “Why are you sending me a bill? I never gave you my address!”

Me: “Your address was provided to us by your tenant.”

Landlord: “They can’t do that, and you can’t bill me because I never consented to you supplying me once they moved out.”

Me: “Sir, we were only recently advised of the move-out. We’ve been supplying the property for two months since then and the energy needs to be paid for.”

Landlord: “It’s estimated, though; no one’s living there. How can it be so much?”

Me: “Our system is just estimating the usage based on previous usage. If you can give us more recent meter readings, we can get a more accurate bill for you.”

Landlord: “I don’t have that. I haven’t been there in weeks and I won’t be able to visit until next month.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but without those, we have to go by the estimation.”

Landlord: “Just send someone out to read it yourselves!”

Me: “Sir, we have no way of accessing the property to do that unless you let us in.”

Landlord: “Just use your key!”

Me: “Did you provide us with a key?”

Landlord: “Of course not!”

Me: “Then how would we have a key?”

Landlord: “All you suppliers have keys to the properties you supply.”

Me: “Sir, that’s just not true. You will need to pay the estimation if you cannot provide meter readings.”

Landlord: “I’m not paying it! You had no right to keep supplying the property, and this rate is ridiculous. How can you charge this?! It’s criminal!”

Me: “That would be our standard tariff rate. If a customer doesn’t sign up for one of our other tariffs, then we put them on this.”

Landlord: “That’s illegal! You should always put them on the cheapest tariff!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our cheapest tariff means agreeing to have a smart meter install—”

Landlord: “I don’t want a smart meter!”

Me: “We understand that some people don’t want smart meters which is why we don’t put you on this tariff without speaking with you first.”

Landlord: “That’s criminal. There are a lot of elderly people who don’t like smart meters. You’re discriminating against them and forcing them to pay higher rates!”

Me: “Sir. Criminal would be forcing you to have a smart meter. If customers are unhappy with our prices, they always have the option of switching suppliers.”

Landlord: “Well, I definitely will be switching. This is disgusting and I will not pay it! You should have called me to ask if I wanted to stay with you.”

Me: “We do not hold a phone number for you, so we would have had no way to do this. We also do not call up people asking if they want to continue with us.”

Landlord: “I don’t care what you don’t do. That’s what you should have done!”

Me: “Sir, even if that was something we did, we were not aware that your tenant moved out until recently. We had no reason to believe someone else was responsible for the bills.”

Landlord: “You. Cannot. Bill. Me. Because. I. Never. Consented. To. Have. You. As. My. Supplier!”

Me: “As the owner, it is your responsibility to advise the utility companies supplying your property of any changes to tenancy. Regardless of whether or not you chose us, you are responsible for this bill.”

Landlord: “I never consented to f****** being with you! You cannot charge me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you should have arranged for another supplier to take over if you didn’t want to be with us.”

Landlord: “No, you should have just stopped the supply!”

Me: “Again, we did not know of the move out until recently, and since you did not contact us, we had no way to know you did not wish to continue with us.”

Landlord: “Which is why you should have f****** called me!”

Me: “Sir, please do not swear. We had no phone number and no way to call you.”

Landlord: “I’ll swear if I f****** want to! You’re a grown woman; just deal with it!”

Me: “You’re right, I am a grown woman, and as such, I have every right to ask you not to swear. I also have every right to disconnect this call, so please do not swear at me when I am just doing my job.”

Landlord: “I’m not paying this and I will be contacting my lawyer. You are all a bunch of scammers!” *Click*

It was another two months before he got round to switching the supplier, and yes, he had to pay for the energy used during this time.

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