Hard To Understand A Soft Problem

, , , | Right | June 19, 2017

(The intersection where our branch is located is under construction. The sidewalks are dug up and there is some utility work going on. We’re a small town branch, and the company headquarters is in another state.)

Customer: “Yes, I’m having trouble with my online banking account.”

Me: “Are you having trouble logging in this morning?”

Customer: “Yes, it says I’m locked out!”

Me: “I see. We’ve just received notice that the system went down this morning. They’re working on it now, but it’s still not operational at the moment.”

Customer: “So it’s not me?”

Me: “No, it appears to be a system-wide problem.”

Customer: *turns and points out the window at the construction* “Do you think it’s because of the construction?”

Me: “No, it’s a software problem.”

Customer: “Are you sure they didn’t cut the lines?”

Me: *sighs*

Not Quite Married To The Idea

, , | Romantic | June 17, 2017

(I’m in my mid-20s, female, and single. This is very odd in our small town, as most girls marry fairly young. Occasionally, customers comment on it. I don’t mind too much, as I’ve been burned in past relationships, so I know I’m a little picky when it comes to guys. Then there’s this regular customer…)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! How are you?”

Customer: “Well, I’m just fine, young lady. How are you? How’s the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Oh, I’m not getting married. You must have me mistaken with someone else!”

Customer: “But why aren’t you?”

Me: “Well, I just haven’t found the right guy yet.”

Customer: “You SHOULD get married! It’s a disgrace, the way you young girls hold out nowadays. Don’t you WANT to get a man?”

Me: “Well, sure, once I find the right one—”

Customer: “You and [Coworker #1] over there. She was engaged last year, and now she’s not. How are you two are as old as you are and aren’t married?”

(The coworker in question is in her early 20s.)

Me: “Um… I really don’t think I should comment on her personal life.”

Customer: “FIND A MAN!”

Me: “I’ll do my best.”

(Customer exits. The coworker in question walks over to me.)

Coworker: *sarcastically* “Right. Because being married to an a** is way better than being single! This town, I swear…”

The Only Option Left Is To Complain

, , , , | Right | May 31, 2017

(I am a bank teller in 2001. It’s important to note that this is a small grocery store branch so in that setting your coworkers are literally standing right next to you most of the time. A man approaches my window.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I lost my debit card and had to cancel it. What can I do to get a new one?”

Me: “That’s no problem. I can print out a form for us to fill out here and send it in for you. It can take up to 7-10 business days to process and it will be mailed to your address.”

Customer: “What?! That’s too long. I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is here in the branch we can make you an ‘instant’ ATM card today but unfortunately they only work at ATMs. You would not be able to use it to make purchases but you can still get one of those in the meantime while you wait for the new debit card.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is you can cash a check here with us to get money. I can even print a counter check for you if you don’t have any checks.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: “Okay. Another option is if you have a credit card you can make your daily purchases with that and then pay the balance daily to avoid any interest.”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to do that.”

Me: *dumbfounded and out of ideas; those really are all the options* “Okay… well… I’m… sorry?”

Customer: *says nothing, walks off*

(I found out later that he had come back and complained about my “attitude” to my branch manager who was not there at the time. My coworker, who was standing right next to me during the entire exchange, backed me up. She said I was nothing but polite and helpful and the man simply wasn’t interested in working with us to get his problem resolved. She saved me from possibly getting written up.)

Banking On Them Calling Your Bank

| CA, USA | Right | May 16, 2017

Me: *answers phone* “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Who is this?”

Me: “This is [My Name].”

Customer: “But who am I calling?”

Me: “[Bank].”

Customer: “Well, I wanted to call [Other Bank].”

Me: “Um… okay?”

Customer: “Give me their number!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Bank]. I don’t have the other bank’s number.”

Customer: “Can’t you just transfer me?!”

Me: “No, ma’am. Again, this is [Bank].”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t just transfer me! I want to talk to [Other Bank]!”

Me: “There’s no way for me to transfer you. I don’t have their number because we are not that bank.”

Customer: “Fine! When I talk to [Other Bank] I will file a complaint about you!” *hangs up*

An Affair To Remember

| MI, USA | Working | May 10, 2017

(One of my work duties is a monthly bank deposit of the miscellaneous cash collected by various departments on our campus. This usually involves a very large stack of small bills. This time, the teller isn’t familiar with my company and my routine.)

Bank Teller: “Good morning; how can I help you?”

Me: “Deposit to [account number], please.”

(I start taking bundles of $1 and $5 bills out of my briefcase; almost $4000 total.)

Bank Teller: “Lots of singles; did you have a fair or something?”

Teller #2: *drops a tray of coins* “What?!”

Bank Teller: “I asked if he had a fair. Like a carnival or something. That’s a lot of small bills.”

Teller #2: “Oh, god, I thought you asked him if he was having an affair.”

Me: “I’m not, but if either of you is offering…”

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