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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 105

, , , , , | Right | CREDIT: Akschadt | October 3, 2021

I work for a collections job in a bank where I deal with people behind on their payments for retail services. One of the more common things I deal with is past dues on [Credit Card Company] cards. I get this lady on the phone who is irate.

Caller: “Your automated system won’t accept my payment!”

That’s normal; most people hit an extra button and type in the wrong account number or switch the expiration date up. I go through the normal business of collecting this payment — something like an $800 balance with $200 of it past due.

Me: “I can use a debit card or bank account information for the payment.”

Caller: “Card.”

She gives me her information and I pull up my screen to process it through. It gets declined. She loses her mind.

Caller: *Screaming* “How dare you decline my card?! I’ve been a customer for years! When I got this card, you said it would be accepted anywhere [Credit Card Company] is accepted, and that’s everywhere. And now you’re declining me!”

I sit there for a second and look at the card number she provided and then at her account number; they’re the same number.

Me: “Ma’am are you… trying to pay off your [Credit Card Company] card… with your [Credit Card Company] card?”

The answer was yes. What followed was a twenty-minute conversation about how you can’t pay off a credit card with the same credit card. She hung up after threatening to sue me personally for false advertising as, “[Credit Card Company] apparently isn’t accepted everywhere like you said!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 104
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 103
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 102
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 101
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 100

We’ll Stop Holding The Door If You Stop Holding On To Your Opinions

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2021

I’m a woman in my late twenties. A customer in her late sixties comes in. My previous customer, a man in his forties, holds the door for her. She huffs at him and stomps over to my desk.

Me: “Hello! What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “Ugh! I hate it when people do that!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, not you. That man held the door for me!”

She stares at me expectantly. I’m confused.

Me: “I’m not sure I understand the problem. Did he say something rude?”

Customer: “No, but I hate having the door held for me! I can open my own doors! Don’t you agree?”

Me: “Well, I think it’s a matter of personal preference. I don’t mind having the door held for me, but I grew up down South, so—”

Customer: “Southern women are not liberated!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “You are not liberated! I’m a Northern woman, sweetie. I am liberated and I can get my own doors!”

She storms out. One of my coworkers, also a woman, walks over.

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “I’m not liberated because I’m Southern and I don’t mind having the door held for me.”

Coworker: “What’s wrong with having the door held for you?”

Me: “No idea. I guess liberated women get their own doors.”

Coworker: “That’s stupid. If someone holds the door, I’m gonna walk through it and thank them. That’s polite.”

Me: “Apparently, neither of us are liberated women.”

Coworker: “Ah, customers…”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 104

, , , , , , | Right | September 13, 2021

I work for the call center of my local credit union.

Member: “I have a problem with your app. I’m trying to do a mobile deposit, and it’s not letting me do cash.”

Me: “That is correct?!”

Member: “Why isn’t it letting me deposit cash? I’m taking a picture of the front and back of the bills.”

Me: “Because it’s cash. We have no way to prove that you wouldn’t just spend that cash. You can take your deposit to an ATM, a branch, or a shared branch to make your deposit, but you can only deposit checks through the app.

Member: “I can’t make it to any of those places any time soon. What if I submit a video of me burning the cash after I do the deposit? That way you’ll know for sure I’m not trying to scam you!”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 103
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 102
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 101
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 100
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 99

Doubly Cause For Pregnant Pause

, , , | Right | September 10, 2021

Due to a shoulder injury, I am not supposed to lift anything over twenty-five pounds. A customer brings in some loose change to be counted. One of the coin bags in our machine fills up, so I ask a coworker to help me lift it off the machine, as those bags are a lot more than twenty-five pounds. She does so.

I’m wearing a blouse, dress pants, and heels, while my coworker is in a dress and flats. Both of us are a normal weight for our respective heights.

Me: “Thanks, [Coworker]!”

Coworker: “No problem. Those bags are a beast even when you don’t have a lifting restriction.”

Customer: “Oh, a lifting restriction? I’m so sorry to make you move things.”

Me: “That’s okay. If I have help, my doctor won’t get on my case.”

Customer: “How far along are you?”

Me: “Say what?”

Customer: “When are you due?”

Me: *Pauses* “Due?”

The customer looks at me like I’m an idiot.

Customer: “When will the baby arrive, dear? You’re obviously expecting. I can tell with that shirt. And no one has a lifting restriction if they’re not pregnant.”

Me: “Ma’am, I injured my shoulder. I’m not pregnant.”

The customer blushes.

Customer: “Oh, goodness. I’m so sorry!”

She turns to my coworker.

Customer: “You, then. You’re the one expecting! I can tell with that dress!”

Coworker: “I’m not pregnant, either.”

The customer turns an even brighter shade of red. I count out her cash and she runs out the door. My coworker and I stare at each other.

Coworker: “Did that just happen?”

Me: “I’m burning this shirt.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 24
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 23
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 22
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 21
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 20

Not Exactly Crystal Clear

, , , , , , | Right | September 9, 2021

I work IT for a bank. My name is comparatively common, with a couple of different similar-sounding variations. I’m fairly used to people almost never calling me by my actual name but one of the variations because they hear it just right/wrong through the phone.

I’m on the phone with a user and they’ve had to set the phone down for some reason. They’ve come back to the phone but aren’t quite speaking fully into the mouthpiece.

User: “Okay, Crystal, I’m back.”

Crystal is nowhere close to my name, other than they start with the same letter, so I think they are possibly talking to another teller and don’t respond. The user shifts the phone and starts panicking.

User: “Crystal! Crystal, are you there? You shouldn’t have hung up on me! Oh, tell me she didn’t hang up on me!”

As they get ready to launch into full-fledged panic mode, I clue in that they’re talking to me. Admittedly, I probably should have picked up on it sooner but I am still new enough that getting called a name that is nothing like my actual name is still surprising.

Me: “Oh, sorry! I didn’t realize that you were talking to me.”

User: “I said your name several times!”

Me: “Um… you didn’t. I thought you might have been talking to a customer.”

Bear in mind, I answered the call with, “[Bank], this is [My Name],” and they said “Hi, [My Name], I’m having this issue.”

User: “Yes, I did! You shouldn’t lie to me, Crystal!”

Me: “My name’s not Crystal.”

User: *Brief pause* “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes.”

User: “Um… Well, uh, can we fix the computer?”

I can’t exactly remember what the issue was, but we got it resolved pretty fast. While I was still at the bank, I kept getting called by the most random names. I started keeping a list just to see. By the time I left, I think the list had something like twenty names on it and there were maybe two that could possibly (if you stretched) be confused with my name.