Deposit Some Common Sense

, , , | Right | December 13, 2018

(It’s been a month since Christmas. I have cash and a couple of checks that were given to us, and I’ve not remembered to go to the bank to deposit them. After meticulously filling out the deposit slip, I walk up to the counter. Also, I’m pregnant.)

Teller: *who is the coolest lady I know* “Um… Sweetie? You want to deposit this cash, and then withdraw cash?”

Me: *blank face* “What? Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me! I’m so sorry!”

Teller: “Don’t worry, sweetie; we’ll blame it on baby brain.” *laughs*

Me: *laughing also* “Oh, man, I have been so focused on getting this deposited, it didn’t even occur to me how ridiculous it was to come down here, deposit cash, and then withdraw cash!”

If You’re Going To Sexually Harass Someone, Get The Right Someone

, , , | Right | December 12, 2018

(At my previous location, one of my coworkers and I looked enough alike in the face that customers used to mix us up. I am several inches taller than she is, but both of us sat at desks, so you couldn’t tell when we were seated. Fast forward three years. I now work at another branch. A customer that looks vaguely familiar walks in.)

Customer: “Hey! Didn’t you used to work at that other branch, on [Street]?”

Me: “I did! Now, what can I help you with today?”

Customer: “You’ve gained weight, haven’t you?”

Me: *thinking I’ve misheard* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “You have! You’ve gained a few pounds!”

Me: “Um… No. I’ve always looked like this.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I’m pretty sure you haven’t. But, you know, it’s not a bad thing. You gained it in all the right places if you know what I mean!” *grins*

(I instinctively scoot my chair away from him.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: *squints at me* “Hang on. You’re [Former Coworker], right?”

Me: “No. I’m [My Name]. I used to sit at the desk next to her.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought you were [Former Coworker]. I… definitely have the wrong person, and I think I’d better go.”

(He got up and quickly exited the building.)

Unfiltered Story #131668

, , , | Unfiltered | December 9, 2018

I’m sitting at my desk at the teller line. My desk is lower than everyone else’s because I also deal with foreign money and account services. The customer walks in and sees I’m the only one on the teller line.

Me: Hello! How can I help you?

Customer: Are you available?

Me: Yes, sir.

Customer: Where are you?

Me:…Right here, sir.

Insecure About Storing Her Money Securely

, , , , , , | Right | December 3, 2018

This happened while I was working at a friend’s mom-and-pop pizza place. We were running short of ones and change so I had to run to the bank next door to get some.

Understand that this particular bank was — as a teller there once mentioned to me — used as a training site for new teller hires for all the local company locations. Since it was in a down-scale neighborhood, it tended to have more than its share of “problem customers,” so if you could handle yourself professionally there, everywhere else was a breeze.

Anyhow, I’m standing in line and the lady in front of me says she wants to withdraw $50 from her checking account. But she doesn’t have any checks with her. Or the account number. Or any ID. And despite claiming “she banks here all the time,” no one working there recognizes her.

When the lady teller tries to politely explain why she needs to go home and return with at least an ID, cue the five minute screaming rampage about how “racist” the bank, the teller, and everyone else working here is, and the only reason she can’t get “her” money is because she’s [race]. Throughout this the teller remains perfectly polite, but adamant that she can’t do what the lady is requesting.

Finally the screamer storms out, and I get to do my business. The teller looks a bit frazzled, so as we’re talking I compliment her on staying calm, and tell her she did exactly the right thing. In fact, that if she HAD allowed the “customer” to perform such a sketchy withdrawal, I would have worried about how secure MY account there was.

First-Born Son Sacrifice Required To Cash Checks

, , | Right | December 1, 2018

(We are required by law to collect certain pieces of information from non-customers before cashing a check for them. Our system will not allow us to cash anything without this information. Most of our regulars understand this, and provide this information without protest. We occasionally get someone who tries to argue…)

Me: “Good morning. How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Cash this.” *throws ID and check at me*

Me: “Have you ever cashed here before?”

Customer #1: “No.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I just need to ask you a few additional questions. Can you confirm your current address, please?”

Customer #1: “Why do you need to ask me anything? I have my ID and this check, and you have to cash it for me!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I am required by federal law to ask—”

Customer #1: “I will not give you any information! Get me a manager, now!

(I flag down the nearest supervisor, who has heard the whole thing.)

Supervisor: “Good morning, sir. As [My Name] said, we are required by law to get certain pieces of information before we can cash a check for you.”

Customer #1:I am not a criminal! I won’t give you any information! What are you going to do about that, huh?”

Supervisor: “Our system will not let us cash a check without this information, so unfortunately we will not be able to process this for you today.” *hands the check back*

Customer #1: “FINE! I will go to my bank!” *storms out*

Supervisor: “Imagine what would’ve happened if you’d gotten through all the questions…”

Me: “No kidding!”

([Customer #2], a regular, steps up to my window.)

Customer #2: “I have my ID ready and all my information is up to date. Would you like a blood sample or my firstborn child as a second form of ID?” *grins*

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