I Wouldn’t Bank On It, Honey

, , | Right | December 2, 2019

(I work in a bank inside a larger retailer. This place is very obviously a bank. The word “bank” is in our name. You can’t look at any wall without seeing a poster with the word “bank,” and if you’re not looking at a wall, you’ll see dozens of pamphlets advertising checking and loan products. A customer comes up to our counter before we open as my coworkers and I are counting our drawers.)

Customer: “Can I get my nails done here?”

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Stop Pounding Them With Outdated Advice

, , , , | Working | November 26, 2019

(A kid, who looks no older than eighteen, walks in.)

Kid: “Hi, I want to apply for a job.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t take in-branch applications anymore. If you go to our website, scroll all the way down, and click on ‘Careers,’ it will show you current openings. We don’t have any here right now, but I think [bBranch ten minutes away] has one.”

Kid: “But my parents said I have to pound the pavement to get a job.”

Me: “Not here! It’s all electronic.”

Kid: “Oh. So, you don’t have any openings here?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

Kid: “Are you sure?”

Me: “I’m sure.”

Kid: “So, no applications?”

Me: “Only online.”

(He sighed and walked out.)

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Unfiltered Story #177732

, , | Unfiltered | November 19, 2019

(I work in a credit union. Most of my members are great but I get a few that are…….interesting.)
Me: “Credit union! This is (my name), how can I help you?”
Member: “Uh…….yes. You are closed for Thanksgiving, right?”
Me: “Yes sir we are!”
Member: “Oh, will my debit card still work since you won’t be there to make it work?”
Me: (Wanting to say No it won’t) …….”Yes sir, it will….?”
Member: “Great! Thanks bye!” *Hangs up*
Me:…(facepalm)

A Broad Definition Of Fraud

, , , , , , | Working | November 18, 2019

(On a Saturday afternoon, I spend my time online shopping for Christmas presents. The card I use is issued by my bank. Come Monday, I attempt to make another purchase, this time at the mall, only to be told my card is declined. As it’s after my bank’s closing time, I can’t do anything to fix this right away, so instead, I double-check the Saturday purchases to ensure the payments went through, which they did. During the check, I also notice my checking account is frozen, so I dig into that, as well, to see if a check I wrote Monday morning cleared, which it did. So, on Tuesday while I’m running errands, I visit my bank to sort this out. Courtesy of what I later deem good fortune, the branch manager handles this personally from the beginning.)

Manager: “We noticed several fraudulent charges on your card, so we cancelled it. And since the card accessed your checking account, we froze it, too.”

(That’s an immediate alarm bell, since there wasn’t even a record of a fraudulent attempt when I reviewed my purchases.)

Me: “Did you? And what were the charges for?”

(The manager proceeds to list all of my purchases from Saturday afternoon, with me interjecting after every one to state I made that purchase. Then, there’s total silence.)

Me: “Was that everything?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Me: “So, there was no fraud.”

Manager: “Yes, there was. See?”

(He proceeds to spin the monitor and show me that every previously-mentioned purchase was labeled as fraud.)

Me: “But I just confirmed these were my purchases.”

Manager: “Right.”

Me: “So, there was no fraud.”

Manager: “Yes, there was. Someone bought…” *and lists the purchases again*

Me: “But those were from me.”

Manager: “Right.”

Me: “So, how is me spending my own money ‘fraud’?”

Manager: “It’s not.”

Me: “…”

Manager: “…”

Me: “Then there were no fraudulent purchases on my card.”

Manager: “Yes, there were!” *aaaand he lists my purchases again*

Me: “So, let’s be clear. There was suspicious activity on my card Saturday.”

Manager: “Right.”

Me: “Rather than reach out to inform me and confirm the charges actually were fraud, you made the decision yourselves, froze my accounts, and cancelled the card while leaving me completely in the dark.”

Manager: “Right.”

Me: “However, you put the holds on only after confirming payment on the suspicious charges; meaning had they actually not been me, you would have allowed a fraudster to obtain those goods on my dime.”

Manager: “R-Right.”

Me: “Then, when I wrote a check on Monday, it cleared with no trouble, despite the freeze on my account.”

Manager: “…”

Me: “I’m going to need you to close my accounts. I no longer believe that my money is safe here.”

(Despite his many pleas, I followed through. Luckily for the bank staff, they were just stupid, not malicious; I don’t know what their superiors did when my complaint made it to their desks, but there were no legal consequences for them to face. The next closest bank I could deposit my money into was about five more minutes away, took me off of my regular route when I ran errands, and didn’t offer rates that were as generous. However, when I made an unusual purchase most systems would flag as suspicious, I was emailed and texted almost instantly to clarify it was me and had no trouble keeping the accounts and cards active.)

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ATM = Alarmingly Telling Movements

, , , , | Legal | November 15, 2019

One Saturday night before heading to the movies, I decide to stop at an ATM and deposit a check. Against my better judgment, I use the street one my bank has in the neighborhood. There are three of them lined up along the street, attached to the exterior wall of the branch. 

I use the middle one, and while I’m using it, I notice someone come up to the one to the right of me and start fiddling around with it. He’s not really even using it so much as typing randomly and pretending to use it. It strikes me as odd and I try to finish quickly. 

However, right before I’m done, he moves over to my ATM and gets in line behind me. Now my alarm bells are going off. A woman walks up to the ATM he vacated and asks if it’s working. He replies quickly, “Oh, yeah! Go for it!” Now the bells are going way off. If it’s working, why is he suddenly in line behind me for this ATM?

By then, it’s too late; I’ve already entered my info and finished up. I walk away from the ATM and immediately call my bank’s 1-800 number. I explain the issue. The rep immediately says that it sounds odd and that it’s likely the guy had previously installed a card reader on the ATM. He suggests we cancel the card immediately to prevent anything from happening. I authorize it and thankfully have cash to keep myself afloat until Monday when I can go into a branch and get a temp card.

The funny thing is, he might have gotten away with it if he hadn’t been acting so squirrely.

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