Should Have Checked What They Were Trying To Tell You

, , , , , | Right | July 30, 2018

(I work at a national, well-known bank in a small town. For cashier’s checks, we normally charge $10 unless a customer is in a special type account. Normally, if I see that they can get the checks for free, I try to convert their accounts first and then make their check.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Bank]. What may I help you with today?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to pull out $1,000 in cash and make a cashier’s check for $4,000.”

Me: “Great! I’d be happy to assist. Who are we making the check out to?”

Customer: “To myself; I’m moving money around.”

(I look up the customer with his ID, and begin to tell him about how with his account, the check would cost $10.)

Me: “Mr. [Customer], the check would cost $10. However, because you have such outstanding balances with us, I can see about converting your account name so you won’t have to pay for them. How does that sound?”

Customer: *obviously annoyed* “That’s ridiculous! I have been banking with you for longer than you’ve been alive! I shouldn’t have to pay for making a d*** check! With my own money!”

Me: “Sir, that’s why I suggested we change your account name. No numbers or routing numbers change, just the account title. I want you to get your checks for free.”

(The customer is still ranting about how the bank is just out to get people’s money and that we have no appreciation for local business.)

Customer: “I’m just going to move all my accounts to [Other Local Bank], since you people don’t value my time or my money!”

Me: “Okay! Have a great afternoon!”

I Am Me And You Are He And Here’s ID And We Are All Together

, , , , | Right | July 25, 2018

(I’m a teller at another branch of a bank, but today I am helping in a center that is short-staffed. As such, I don’t know most of the faces and have been asking quite a few people for their IDs. Many clients are mildly annoyed, but turn it over when asked.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Bank]. What brings you in today?”

Client: “I just need to withdraw this out of my account.”

(The client hands me a withdrawal slip for $100. Since it is a small amount, I decide to just check her signature on her account, but an alert pops up telling me to confirm her ID.)

Me: “Okay, Mrs. [Client], could I just borrow your ID for a moment?”

Client: “What? Why do you need my ID? I only need a hundred. Just pull that out; you don’t need my ID.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, Mrs. [Client]. I usually work for a different branch, so I’m not as familiar with you as the regular teller. I just need to borrow it for one moment, and I’ll get it right back to you.”

Client: “This is ridiculous! I have been banking here for twelve years! Everyone knows me! Why should I have to show you my ID?!”

Me: “Well, Mrs. [Client], my system does need me to confirm your identity. I do have an indication that your account was compromised recently.”

Client: “Yes, but that was just because my checkbook was stolen. This is a withdrawal slip! You don’t need my ID for this!”

Me: “Well, the information on the checks will match the information you filled in on the slip. Unfortunately, I will need your ID before I can withdraw this for you.”

Client: “Oh, this is so ridiculous!” *pulls out license and throws it on the counter* “I’m obviously me; you shouldn’t have to ask me who I am!”


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Ruining Scrooge’s Fun

, , , , | Right | July 25, 2018

(I’m working as a bank teller during the year the government released the new Presidential gold dollar coins. The gold dollar coins themselves are not a new concept, the first ones having been put into circulation in 2000. We don’t keep any in stock or give them out as change regularly, but we do get them occasionally in deposits, and sometimes people request them for coin collections. I am waiting on an older man one day when he notices the gold dollars in the coin tray sitting on my counter.)

Customer: “Wow! Gold coins! I’ve never seen those!”

Me: “Yes, sir, we’ve had those for several years. They’re gold dollar coins. Just recently we’ve started getting them in with their new presidential designs.”

Customer: “That’s so cool! I’m amazed they let you display them out in the open like that.”

Me: “Excuse me, sir? Out in the open like what?”

Customer: “You know, having gold coins like that out where anyone can see them, maybe even steal them. Wonder how much they’d be worth?”

Me: “Um… Sir? These are just regular dollar coins. They’re gold colored, yes, but not real, solid gold.”

Customer: “Oh, really? So, how much are they worth, then?”

Me: “They’re dollar coins. Worth one dollar. That’s it.”

Customer: “That’s it? Oh, well, that’s no fun, now, is it?”

New-Fangled Since The 1970s

, , , , , , | Right | July 9, 2018

(I take phone calls for members about their credit and debit cards for a small bank. The year is 2016.)

Me: “How can I help you on your card today?”

Caller: “I need to dispute an item.”

(After I get all their details, I note the caller is in their early 50s.)

Me: “Okay, I just need to mail or fax the document to you to sign and return to us.”

Caller: “I don’t understand those newfangled gadgets; it’s because of those I’m having such a hard time doing business nowadays. Why can’t we just stick with mailing stuff? Why do you have to make everything so hard?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but to understand you correctly, you’re unable to get a fax?”

Caller: “Did you not hear me correctly? I do not understand those newfangled gadgets! Just mail me the documents!”

Me: “I will be happy to, sir.”

(I was very happy that I didn’t ask if he wanted the form emailed to him.)


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Some Things Never Change

, , , | Right | June 30, 2018

(I work at a bank frequented by businesses. We ask if they can call in change orders for us to have them ready when they get there, but sometimes new people do the deposit and aren’t aware.)

Customer: *holding a handful of cash and a piece of paper with a change order on it* “I need a change order.”

Me: “Okay, sure.”

Customer: *pauses a moment* “Okay, I need $6 in pennies.” *hands me six dollars*

(I wait for her to continue; her list is long.)

Customer: “We’re going to do this one at a time.”

Me: *dies a little inside* “Oh, okay.”

(I then walk back and forth to where my rolls of coin are kept. Finally, at the end…)

Me: “And, for future reference, we do prefer if you call in your change orders so we can have them ready for you.”

Customer: “Oh, really? For this little amount?”

Me: “Yes.”

(She then rolled her eyes and left. Sorry we want to be ready for you when you get here, cranky lady.)

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