They Should Write A Movie About This

, , , | Legal | April 21, 2019

I had been applying for film jobs online and received an email from one of the companies. They wanted to hire me as a PA, and they said they would pay for my expenses to fly to the film set and hotel and stuff like that. They also said they’d send me a check for $2500, but I had to send some of it back to them for some reason — taxes or something like that.

Now, you’re probably thinking, “SCAM! SCAM!” You would be right, but I was very young and naive when this happened so I happily received the check and dutifully tried to deposit it in the self-service machine, but it wouldn’t let me.

I asked for help from one of the tellers, and she tried to help me with the machine, but it still wouldn’t work — because the check was fake, although I still hadn’t figured that out. She tried to look it up in the system and she said it wasn’t coming up so she couldn’t deposit it.

At this point, I should have figured it out… but I didn’t. So, I went to another branch of the bank and tried again. They tried to deposit it and even took my fingerprint and everything, but they couldn’t deposit it, either, because they couldn’t find it in the system.

I kept bouncing back and forth from branch to branch, trying to cash it, but none of them were having it. Finally, something snapped in my little brain and I decided to Google it, and lo and behold: SCAM.

I tried to go back to the first branch to explain that I had realized the check was fake and to apologize, but when I got there they had gotten their boss and said they couldn’t serve me at that branch anymore.

So, basically, I got banned from my own bank because I was a dumba**.

Return To Sender

, , , , | Right | April 16, 2019

(I work for a bank’s call centre, and while it’s not what I primarily deal with, once in a while I handle mortgage problems. It is important to note that in Canada, if you have a mortgage you have to show proof of house insurance or else the bank will automatically add their insurance to your mortgage payment. Without house insurance, you could lose your mortgage with the bank. Their insurance is not cheap. It is also important to note that for privacy reasons, most insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance — which they usually send out yearly — directly to any mortgage holder. On this call, I am transferred an irate customer from a new hire who has no idea how to help him.)

Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Bank]; how may I assist you?”

Customer: “I just got a notification that you’re going to charge me for insurance. I already have insurance from [Outside Insurance Broker].”

Me: “All right, let me look into this for you. It seems like we need you to send in a new proof that your insurance is being continued on your house.”

Customer: “Why can’t you get it from my insurance broker? It’s a pain to have to send it in every year.”

Me: “Insurance companies won’t send proof of insurance directly to us without your permission, as they want to maintain your privacy. They should have sent the renewal to you so that you could forward it to us.”

Customer: “I don’t want to do this every year. I have insurance. Why can’t you ask them for the proof that my insurance has been renewed?”

Me: “I’m sorry if I didn’t explain this well. Even if we did ask your insurance company, they would not give us the information. I know that it is an extra step, but in order to not have to pay the bank’s insurance, you just have to send us the renewal information. Would you like me to provide you the information on where to send it?”

Customer: “No, I have it. I just don’t think I should have to send this. It should be up to you to get it. Having to do this every year is an inconvenience!”

Me: “It’s not us stopping us from getting the information. Have you tried asking your insurance company to provide us with the information directly?”

Customer: “I asked. They won’t do it.”

(I pause.)

Me: “So, you are aware that it is not us stopping the information from being sent directly to us?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “And you have the information on where to send the proof of insurance?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Sir, if you know that it is your insurance company who won’t send us the proof of insurance, and you have the information on how to get it to us, and you understand that all of this is completely out of our control, I have to ask: what were you hoping to accomplish with this call?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to send this in!”

Branching Out To Ruin Their Day

, , | Right | April 5, 2019

(I’m subbing at another branch for the day. I’m setting up my workstation when I overhear a customer arguing with the teller in the next window. I’m standing at just the right angle to see the customer without him seeing me.)

Teller: “…since you don’t have an account, I’ll need to see your ID to cash this check.”

Customer: “No, you don’t!”

Teller: “I do apologize, but that is [Bank] procedure.”

Customer: “They let me do it at [My Branch] yesterday! You have to do it for me, too!

(I know we didn’t do it, but I choose to play along. I pop my head around the corner.)

Me: “Good morning, sir! I thought you looked familiar!”

(The customer’s face turns white.)

Customer: “What are you doing here?”

Me: “Now, sir, you know that [My Branch] asks for ID when they cash your check.”

Customer: *defeated* “Yes.”

(He produced his ID, cashed his check, and walked out quietly. My coworker started laughing as soon as he walked out the door.)

“Check” The Date

, , , , | Right | April 3, 2019

(We have recently been reminded of the importance of following check-cashing rules, as one branch in the next county took a huge loss for cashing a large stolen check. A customer walks in.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to cash this.”

(I notice that the check is post-dated for the next week. We are not allowed to cash these until the date written on the check.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but this check is dated for next week.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “[Bank] regulations state that I can’t cash a check that is dated in the future. I would suggest going back to the person who wrote you the check and seeing if they can get you a new one. Or, you can hold onto it until next week.”

Customer: “Why can’t I just change the date? I’ll do that right now!”

Me: “Um, sir, you actually can’t do that. It’s against federal—“

(Before I can stop him, he starts scribbling out the date and writing in a new one. The check is now considered an “altered check,” and cashing it would go against federal bank regulations. I could get fired for cashing it.)

Customer: *proudly* “THERE! Fixed!”

Me: “I still can’t cash it.”

Customer: “Why the h*** not?!”

Me: “As I was trying to explain, you can’t change any information on a check you haven’t written. It’s now an altered check, and per federal regulations, we can’t accept it. Whoever cashes it could get fired. I have to tell you to go get a new check now.”

Customer: “What if I go to another branch and find someone else to do it? HUH? What then?”

Me: “Then you could get another teller in trouble, sir. Please don’t—“

(The customer runs out the door, shouting that he’s going to go to another branch, and I’ll never guess which one. I sigh, pick up the phone, and call the manager at the only other branch in the area.)

Me: “Hey, [Customer] is coming your way with an altered check. I saw him do it. I told him he had to get a new check, but he ran out of here shouting that he was going to go to another branch…”

Manager: “Oh, we know him. I’ll have a chat with him when he gets here. Thanks!”

(They made him go get a new check. He was shocked that they knew what was happening when he showed up.)

That Exiled Prince In Nigeria Will Be Very Upset About This

, , , , , | Right | April 3, 2019

(My boss has left early, so it’s just me — a banker — and the tellers on duty. One of our regular customers, an attorney, walks in and asks for a banker. POA stands for Power of Attorney.)

Me: “Hi, [Customer]! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “Great, [My Name]. Nice to see you, young lady. I need you to open a new POA account for me.”

Me: “Sure thing. I’ll just need the POA paperwork for our legal department to review.”

Customer: “You can’t open the account right now?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I have to follow our usual procedure of sending all POAs to Legal.”

Customer: “How long will that take?!”

(I’m confused, as he’s opened several of these with me and has never been bothered about it before.)

Me: “Since it’s still early, probably by the end of the day. Maybe by tomorrow, but I don’t think it will take that long.”

Customer: *hands over the paperwork* “It had better not! The wire’s coming in tomorrow. My new client’s counting on this! I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” *walks out*

(I review the paperwork and spot all sorts of spelling and grammatical errors. I have a bad feeling about this, so I call Legal. They have me scan and email the doc over right away. When they call me back…)

Legal: “Well, congratulations. You found a fraudulent POA!”

Me: “Great.”

(The customer comes back in not ten minutes later.)

Customer: “Where is my account?”

Me: “I talked to our Legal team, and it seems that this POA is fraudulent. Where did this come from?”

Customer: *explodes* “NO, IT’S NOT! This is as real as it gets! This lady emailed me and said she wants to make me POA over five million dollars!”

Me: “Is this one of your regular clients?”

Customer: “No! She emailed me just a couple of days ago. She’s going to wire the funds as soon as I can open an account!”

Me: “I’m sorry, [Customer], but it looks like someone’s trying to scam you. If you’d like to speak to our Legal team—“

Customer: “I AM SWITCHING BANKS!” *stomps out*

(He came back the next day to complain to my boss. I’d just finished giving my boss the whole story from the day before, so when she told him the same thing I did, he stormed out again, screaming at us. A couple of hours later, his secretary came in, apologized, and said that she would review his emails from now on.)

Page 1/8012345...Last