Has You Under Their Spelling

, , , , , | Right | December 11, 2017

(I work in a small call center that provides information to tourists. It is a very quiet day when my coworker gets this call. I only hear her end of it.)

Coworker: “Yes, I would recommend [Restaurant]… The name is H-A-N-K… No, N-K. K as in– No, H-A-N-K-apostrophe-S.”

(Pause…)

Coworker: “I would also recommend Cotton. C-O-T-T-O-N. No, C-O-T-T-O-N. N as in Nancy. Yes, C-O-T– No, T as in Thomas. No, T-O-N as in Nancy. Yes. Yes, is there anything else I can do for you?”

(Pause…)

Coworker: “I would suggest that you take advantage of our free shuttle system. Yes, free. F-R-E-E. Yes. Yes, it is free. Yes.”

(This goes on for several more minutes, with the visitor repeatedly asking her to spell the names of places multiple times. Finally, the call ends.)

Coworker: “She sounded like she was high! H-I-G-H!”

It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days… We Think

, , , , , , | Working | December 8, 2017

(As a call center, we work seven days a week. As a result, most people’s weekends aren’t Saturday and Sunday. Today, Tuesday, one of my coworkers says to another:)

Coworker #1: “Tomorrow is your Friday, isn’t it?”

Coworker #2: “No, it’s my Thursday.”

Coworker #1: “Oh, that’s right; it’s Wednesday!”

Totally Three From The Truth

, , | Working | December 6, 2017

(I’m answering a survey about supermarkets.)

Caller: “From 1 to 5, how good is [Supermarket]?

Me: “I don’t know; I’ve never been to one of those.”

Caller: “…sorry, I can’t leave a blank answer.”

Me: “Are you serious? How am I supposed to give you useful information?”

Caller: “You can guess…?”

Me: “Okay, three. That way it’ll affect your results the least.”

Caller: “That’s smart.”

(He keep asking questions and there are A LOT I cannot answer, as not every one of the supermarkets are in my city. I keep answering “I don’t know, so three”.)

Caller: “Well, thank you very much for contributing to this survey.”

Me: “You do know that the results will be full of lies, right?”

Caller: *nervous laughter*

Maybe 40 Is His IQ?

, , , , | Right | December 5, 2017

(I am doing Internet tech support over the phone.)

Me: “I’d like you check if you can see your WiFi name now, please.”

Customer: *too fast to have re-checked the list* “It’s still not there.”

Me: “Okay, can I have you just refresh the list, please?”

Customer: *angrily* “I don’t know how to do that! I’m forty! I don’t know anything about all this technology stuff!”

(I managed to refrain from telling him that I am forty-three, and not only am I not the oldest in the call centre, one of my coworkers left retirement to come and work with us! There are many excuses for being ignorant about technology, but being middle-aged isn’t one of them.)

Working Here Beats The Humanity Out Of You

, , , , | Working | November 28, 2017

(I am calling a computer company in regards to paying my bill. A pre-recorded message picks up.)

Message: “[Business]. For help servicing your computer, press one. For setting up an appointment, press two. For pricing information, press three. To speak to any available human, press zero.”

(I stop and look at the phone a few seconds, then proceed to press zero.)

Employee: “Hello, [Employee] speaking. Thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hi, is this a human?”

(Long silence.)

Employee: “I think so.”

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