Unfiltered Story #98666

, | Unfiltered | October 23, 2017

(Our call center’s hold music is an awful, screechy sounding pop singer that a few coworker and I have been pleading to get changed).

Caller: *in a thick souther drawl* “Now I don’t want you to think this is no personal attack, and I ain’t tryna be rude, but yall’s hold music sucks a**.”

Jokes Are Your Real Calling

, , , , , | Right | October 23, 2017

(I work in an outbound call center. Customers fill out information online and we, along with others in our industry, then make calls… a lot of them. This leads to a lot of people getting irate. Sometimes we win them over; sometimes we can’t. This guy, though…)

Me: “Hi, is this [Customer]?”

Customer: “You are the ninth person to call me!”

Me: “I’m the ninth caller? Do I win the car?”

(This brought him to a stop and made him laugh. While he and I did have a good conversation, ultimately, we weren’t able to help him. Call of the day, though!)

The Buffalo Thing Never Gets Old

, , , , , | Right | October 20, 2017

(I work in a call centre for a major pizza chain. Our wings are also very popular with our customers.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company], [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “Hi, I want to order some wings.”

Me: “No problem. I just need to start with your phone number, please.”

Customer: “Before we start, I need to ask you something.”

Me: “Certainly, sir. What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Are all your wings buffalo wings, or do you carry chicken wings, too?”

Me: “…”

It’s Too Early In The Morning For This

, , , , , | Right | October 17, 2017

(I work for a large energy firm servicing department. Everyone gets this type of call several times a day.)

Me: “Good morning, you’re through to [Company] and [Department]. How can I help?”

Customer: “My fireplace isn’t working.”

(I go over security details and they pass, and we proceed to pull up a calendar for repair appointment.)

Me: “Okay, sir, the earliest available appointment is two days from now between 12:00 and 6:00 pm.”

Customer: “Have you got anything sooner?”

Me: “No, sir, two days is the earliest appointment, 12:00 until 6:00 pm.”

Customer: “Okay, I guess I’ll take the morning, then.”

Me: “Sir, the next appointment is two days from now in the afternoon, or three days from now in the morning. If you prefer a morning, you will have to wait until the third day or I will book you in for the afternoon.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t very good. Why can’t I get an appointment in the morning for two days time?”

Me: “Because we work on a live system with limited staffing for repairs. If we have a high volume of breakdowns in your area, it is mainly first-come, first-serve.”

Customer: “I pay £35 a month for this agreement. Can’t you cancel someone else’s appointment?”

Me: “In the interest of equality, we do not cancel appointments to book in other customers; that is company policy.”

Customer: “I don’t care; I want an appointment in the morning.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, that is not a possibility, and due to it being a live system, if I do not book you an appointment now it may be gone soon.”

Customer: “Fine! Don’t know why I pay for this service.”

Me: “Because if you didn’t, it could be anything up to $400 or more for each repair and a wait of up to a week or more, sir.”

(We resolve the call and they hang up.)

Coworker: “So, no mornings, then?”

Me: “Don’t get me started!”

Early Morning Reality Check

, , , , , | Right | October 14, 2017

(I work in a call center. I have just started my shift around 8:00 am, and am sleep-deprived from a party the night before. A customer calls:)

Me: “[Company] mail order, [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Are… are you real?”

(For a second that feels like a thousand years, I don’t know. I’ve never felt actual existential dread before this and am having trouble coming up with an answer.)

Me: “I… I think so?”

(It turns out my greeting was so rehearsed the poor lady thought I was a machine.)

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