Not So Super(Visor)

, , , , | Working | November 18, 2017

(I have just started a new job. My job title is technically “Customer Manager,” but it is a minimum-wage, entry-level position. I have no actual authority to do anything but fulfill simple requests for customers and take payments. My supervisor takes the “Manager” part seriously, however, so whenever a customer is unhappy and wants to make a complaint, he refuses to speak with them. This occurs when a customer has asked me if he can speak to a manager.)

Me: “Hey, would you mind speaking to this customer? I’ve explained why we can’t help him, but he’s really not happy and he wants to speak to a manager.”

Supervisor #1: *sighs heavily* “Look: you need to start handling these. You. Are. A. Manager. You can’t just pass it off to me because someone is yelling at you, okay?”

Me: “I understand that, but there’s nothing I can do for him. I’ve called other departments, and I’ve explained it to him from every angle. I think he just needs to hear it from someone else.”

Supervisor #1: “Look, I’m not getting on at you, but this is something you should be able to handle. I’ve got things to do.” *looks over at another, nicer supervisor* “Hey, can you handle this?”

Supervisor #2: “Sure.” *sits next to me and takes the phone* “Hello, sir?”

(The nice supervisor takes ten minutes to explain everything I’ve told the customer, and then the customer relents and hangs up.)

Supervisor #2: “There, all settled.”

Supervisor #1: “See? It’s that easy. Now, thank you, [Supervisor #2], from both myself and [My Name].”

Me: “Yes, seriously, thank you.”

Supervisor #1: “Next time, you should deal with it on your own.”

Me: “Even if they specifically request one of my superiors? I’m just supposed to tell them that I won’t, because I’m all they get to talk to?”

Supervisor #1: “Well, don’t phrase it like that, but yes!”

Supervisor #2: “Actually, it’s our job to speak to customers if they ask for us. You can’t just refuse to speak to someone. She’s a manager, yes, but in name only. That was actually a very abusive customer that was on the verge of taking legal action against us and getting in touch with the Better Business Bureau. True, nothing would’ve come of it, because we did everything right, but if it came to light that we denied him the opportunity to speak to a manager, then you would’ve gotten it in the neck for not assisting [My Name] when she asked.”

Supervisor #1: *glares and sulks for the rest of the day*

(Not long after that, [Supervisor #1] was promoted and I got a new one who actually supported me with difficult customers. [Supervisor #1] and I get along a lot better now that we don’t work together.)

Could Be A Haunting Number Of Reasons

, , | Right | November 16, 2017

(I work in technical support. A customer has called in about a motion detector that has gone off in his home.)

Me: “Was anyone in the home at time of the alarm?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay. Was there anything moving around? Sometimes balloons or other similar things can set off the device.”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, did the heater activate at that time? Sometimes sudden changes in temperature can cause it to go off.”

Customer: “I see; it must have been my mother.”

Me: “Oh, so, there was someone in the house?”

Customer: “No. My mother is deceased.”

Me: “Oh.”

(Awkward pause.)

Me: “Ohhhhhh.”

(Awkward pause.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

Taxing Faxing, Part 21

, , , , , | Working | November 9, 2017

(I work as a customer service representative answering for a government assistance program. In the last six months, I’ve dealt with some very interesting people.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. May I have your social and name?”

Client: “Yeah, no need. I just need a fax number.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. The fax number is [number].”

Client: “Well, I hope this works. And I need you to tell my caseworker I’ll need them to send my papers back to me when they’ve finished with them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir?”

Client: “Are you stupid? I said I’ll need them back. It’s already going to cost me $5 to send them over, but I still need them for my records, and I’ll be d***ed if you’re going to keep my social security card!”

Me: “Sir, I do apologize, but you just informed me that you will be faxing these documents over. We only receive copies of what you’re sending, not the originals. The originals stay with you.”

Client: “Young lady, I don’t know how old you are, but I can tell you right now, I’ve been alive for 45 years, and I know how a d*** fax works! Send them a message now!” *click*

(Not only did I start laughing at his ignorance, I also felt bad for the next person who would need to deal with him. He didn’t provide me any information, therefore his account was never accessed, and his worker could not be notified of this. Sure enough, two days later he called in wanting to know why he had to stand there for so long waiting for his papers to be faxed back.)

Unfiltered Story #99575

, | Unfiltered | November 6, 2017

I work in a call center for a large company, handling specific cases, so the clients who call in are usually only mine. I get an incoming call from someone I last spoke to several weeks earlier.

Me: [Company], this is [My Name]

*pause*

Client: Hello?

Me: Hello?

Client: Who is this?

Me: [My Name], with [Company].

Client: Who?

Me: [Company?]

Client: No, who are YOU?

Me: [My Name]. I’m [position] at [company].

Client: This is a business?

Me: Yes, this is [company].

Client: Are you a telemarketer?

Me: No, I only work with existing clients for [Company], or people who have expressed an interest. I don’t cold-call, and I’m not selling anything.

Client: Who are you?

Me: … Ma’am, you called me.

Client: Oh. Wrong number. *hangs up*

Got A Bad Feeling Right In The Colon

, , , , | Right | November 3, 2017

Customer: “How do I sign up for [service]?”

Me: “You came through to the wrong department, but I’ll be happy to direct you. You have two options: the most convenient is to sign up right on the website, but I can also transfer you to the correct department. Are you good with computers?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Fantastic. Let me give you the address of our website. It’s ‘http–’”

Customer: “Wait. You’re going too fast.”

Me: “It’s ‘H’ as in ‘Hotel,’ ‘T’ as in ‘Thomas’—”

Customer: “No! You mean ‘T’ like ‘telephone.”’”

Me: “Yes, ‘T’ like ‘telephone.’ Then, another ‘T’ like ‘telephone,’ ‘P’ like ‘Peter’—”

Customer: “What? You mean ‘P’ like ‘pineapple?’”

Me: “Yes, ‘P’ as in ‘pineapple.’ So, http, colon—”

Customer: “What is that?”

Me: “Two dots, one above the other.”

Customer: “All right.”

Me: “After the two dots, there’s two slashes.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “Let me just transfer you to the correct department; they’ll be happy to sign you up for [service].”

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