Unfiltered Story #191246

, | Unfiltered | March 31, 2020

Me: Ok, sir it looks like you’re out of the city Versailles Kentucky?

Customer: It’s pronounced Ver “sails”

(I didn’t argue with him throughout the call and had to refrain from calling him out on that nonsense the rest of the call.

The Official pronounciation is ver-sahy and since the town was founded by French Immigrants I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced that way. >

Unfiltered Story #191248

, , | Unfiltered | March 31, 2020

Customer – My [Product] is not working, the chap who I bought it off told me I didn’t have to plug the power in

Me – Obviously you have to plug the power in for it to work

Customer – but the previous chap said I didn’t have to so I have not. However when I do plug the power cable in it works fine.

Me – …

His Common Sense Blew Away Ages Ago

, , , | Right | March 30, 2020

Me: “Good morning, you are speaking with [Housing Company], [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Client: “Yes, I am calling you because the window in my roof is missing.”

Me: *pause* “Missing?”

Client: “Yes, last night I went to bed and the window was still there, but now it’s gone.”

Me: “All right, a missing window… Did you see it on the roof or ground?”

Client: “No, it’s gone. Now what do I do?”

Me: “Well, since you now have a big hole in your roof, I’ll send a mechanic to close the hole and then we’ll have to order a new window.”

Client: “Could it have blown away? I mean, it was kind of windy last night.”

Me: “Sir, there was a storm last night. Was your window open?”

Client: “Yes, I thought it was a great way to get some fresh air in the house.”

Me: “Right… I think I know what happened to your window, sir.”

Client: “Really?”

(He received a bill for this stupidity.)

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Sadly, She’s Allergic To Honesty

, , , | Right | March 27, 2020

(I’m working at a call center that takes overflow calls from a big extermination company. This summer, in particular, is plagued by wasps all over the country, and we have so many calls that we’ve had to hire extra staff to handle the workload. Most of the customers are calling because their home insurance covers household pests, and the more reasonable ones understand that there are wasps everywhere right now and that there is a waiting period. Then, there are the gems like this lady:)

Me: “Welcome to [Extermination Company]; how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hello, I have this huge wasp nest on my verandah and I have a garden party tomorrow. I need someone to come out right away to take care of it.”

Me: “I understand, ma’am. Unfortunately, I have to inform you that, since we’re experiencing an unusually heavy workload right now, the waiting period for an exterminator is approximately one week. Would you like me to put in a work order for you?”

Customer: “That is completely unacceptable! I’m paying for this service! I want your personal guarantee that you’ll have a man out here this afternoon!”

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I can only put through a rush order if there’s an emergency.”

Customer: “This is an emergency! I have a party tomorrow!”

Me: “Ma’am, by ’emergency’ I mean if there’s a danger to life or limb, like if someone in the household has a wasp allergy or something like that.”

Customer: “YES! My children are deathly allergic to wasps! Send someone over here right away!”

(Well, funny that you didn’t think to mention that before you told me about your precious garden party. Of course, I had to put in a rush order anyway because of the magic word “allergy,” but I made a note about how the call went down and I hope the exterminator assigned to the case gave her a piece of their mind.)

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Unpleasant Customers Can Find You At Home, Too

, , , | Right | March 26, 2020

(It has gone 9:30 pm. My mum is in hospital and I am at home. I get a call from her asking me to speak to the lady in the next bed who I’ve never spoken to or seen at any point in the past. I work advising people of what social security benefits they can receive. She wants to know what she can get as she is now ill.)

Me: “Do you have a partner?”

Lady: “What’s that got to do with it? I am the one that needs money.”

Me: “What you can get changes depending on whether you have a partner, kids, etc., so I need to know.”

Lady: “Well, what can I get if I have a partner?”

Me: *explains*

Lady: “And if I don’t?”

Me: *explains*

Lady: “What if I have kids?”

Me: “How old are they?”

Lady: “That’s none of your business.”

Me: “Again, what you can get changes on how many and how old they are.”

(She makes me explain what she can get if she doesn’t have kids, has older kids in their teens, has young babies, etc., despite refusing to indicate what info she needs and whether it’s helpful.)

Lady: “What should work give me?”

Me: “Are they paying you statutory sick pay?”

Lady: “If they were?”

(I explained what happens if they are but she made me go on to explain what would happen if they weren’t or were going to or have no intention of paying her. Twenty minutes of being nothing but polite and helpful later, despite her talking to me like something on the bottom of her shoe and being fantastically unhelpful, pedantic, and rude, she slammed down the phone without a word of thanks or acknowledging the inconvenience she had put me through, calling me at home late at night. I went to visit my mum the following day and the woman just glared at me when my mum introduced us! The sad thing is that she wasn’t the most unpleasant person I’d spoken to that day.)

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