Spilled Milk You DEFINITELY Want To Cry Over

, , , , | Right | January 4, 2019

(I am working at a stall at the entrance to a supermarket, collecting on behalf of a local charity. Two women enter.)

Me: “Hello, ladies.” *charity spiel* “Would either of you be interested?”

(One of the women starts digging around in her purse while the other stares intently at the collection tin.)

Woman #1: “So this is ‘charity.’” *actual air quotes*

Me: “Yes, are you interested?”

Woman #1: “Oh, very. How much can I take?”

Me: “Take? No, sorry, we’re asking for donations… to give.”

Woman #1: “But isn’t charity for those who need it?”

Me: *realising she probably zoned out during my spiel* “Yes, but today I am asking for don—“

Woman #1: “Well, I need money! I only have £1,200 to spend today!”

Me: *internally: £1,200?!* “W-well, if you don’t feel financially secure enough, you don’t have to donate.”

Woman #1: “I just said I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH!” *storms off*

Woman #2: *putting money in the tin* “Sorry about her; she’s not all there. Her husband actually had to put a block on her card after she spent nearly £10,000 in a month on milk.”

Me: “On milk?”

(She nodded with a tired look and went off to shop. I saw them both later. [Woman #1] was being dragged out, saying she “refused to look at him [me].” I saw them both again a few months later, with [Woman #1] sporting a new hairstyle. She recognised me but was not sure from where, and it took a full ten minutes for [Woman #2] to remember. [Woman #1] seemed quite embarrassed about it when realising, but admitted that shortly after our meeting she was found to have a cancerous brain tumour that was making her act strangely. She was having treatment for it. I haven’t seen her since, but I hope she’s all right.)

Her Heart Failed A Long Time Ago

, , , , , | Friendly | November 30, 2018

(My mum decides to hire out a hall at a very popular local park and run a Christmas Fair. Whilst she is deciding whether she should do the Christmas Fair or not, my dad goes for surgery six weeks after an unexpected heart attack and dies on the operating table. As a result, we decide that rather charge for admission we will ask for a £2-per-adult donation for a big national charity that researches heart conditions and supports those with heart conditions. Due to a mix-up that we only realise afterwards, the local park has advertised the Fair as “free entry.” Therefore, a few people grumble at having to pay. Since it is a charitable donation, we just inform them that we can’t make them pay if they don’t want to, and they can go straight in. The Fair turns out to be very, very popular, and there is a long queue to get in. Two of my sisters and I are running the front desk at the entrance. An old woman storms up to me.)

Old Woman: “Excuse me. This event was free entry! I’m very annoyed that you are now suddenly charging admission! I’ve brought sixteen people with me, and this is unfair!”

(She is fumbling around in her purse and slams 50p on the table.)

Me: “Well, we are asking for a charitable donation for [Heart Charity]. We can’t make you pay it if you don’t want to. We are just trying to raise some money.”

Old Woman: “Oh, good!”

(She leaves the 50p on the table and flounces in. As she moves away, she yells back to the group of women she has brought.)

Old Woman: “You don’t have to pay! Just walk straight in!”

(My sisters and I all dropped our jaws at the audacity of what she said. A few of the women in the party followed the old woman, but the majority of her party stopped. They pulled out their purses and donated the £2, looking noticeably embarrassed. In the end, we raised thousands for the charity in my dad’s name, and the event was a hit!)

Someone Explain To Him What Single Currency Means

, , , , , , | | Working | June 5, 2018

I worked at a small charity running holidays for children. As we ran some holidays in France, we had a French bank account so that French parents could pay in euros. One day the elderly and rather confused boss stormed in to complain that he had been looking at the French bank statement and was horrified to see that a German family had paid into it.

“It’s only for French euros, not German euros,” he said.


This Is Going To Be A Real Treat

, , , | | Hopeless | May 29, 2018

(It is right after Hurricane Harvey. I work at a pet store and we receive word that a rescue group that we work closely with will be driving down to Texas to help rescue abandoned and stranded animals. They ask us to spread the word that they are looking for any and all donations to bring down with them. They have rented a large U-Haul to take down all the donated supplies they can get to help out the animals and families. We start asking every customer for donations, and we are surprised and touched by the amount of donations we receive. I am checking out one of our regulars who is known to be incredibly generous.)

Me: “All right Mr. [Regular], your total today is going to be [total]. Would you like to make any donations today?”

Regular: “What are you collecting donations for?”

Me: “[Rescue Group] is driving down to Texas on Friday and they are asking for donations. Anything that you could donate would be put to good use.”

Regular: “So, like, just food, or would they take other stuff?”

Me: “Food, treats, bowls, beds, crates, leashes, collars, harnesses — all the good stuff! They need as much as they can get, since they run entirely on donations.”

Regular: *thinking* “Hmm… Here. Cancel my transaction for right now, and check these others out; I am going to go grab some things to donate!”

Me: “Of course! Thank you so much!”

(The regular walks off, and I expect to see him back in a few minutes. He comes back about 15 minutes later with a cart FILLED with an assortment of things: kibble, canned food, treats, two brand new expensive crates, shampoos, brushes, bowls, and a multitude of different leashes, collars, and harnesses of varying sizes. I am astounded, and honestly in awe.)

Regular: “Ring it up! All of it! You’ve got to be prepared, you know!”

Me: “Are… Are you sure? This is going to be hundreds of dollars!”

Regular: “My dog was rescued after a tornado ripped through my town. I wouldn’t be around today if it weren’t for rescue groups that do what they do. If it takes a couple hundred dollars to show my support, then so be it!”

Me: “Oh, my God. They are going to be thrilled! Thank you so much!”

(I ring up everything and get permission from my manager to give him a discount. He ends up spending roughly $400 on all the donations. The regular pays and leaves with his dog, leaving all the donations behind for the rescue group. Later that night, one of the volunteers for the rescue comes by to pick up any donations. My manager tells me to bring them over to surprise her.)

Me: “And this is from [Regular]!”

Volunteer: “I… Oh… ALL OF THIS!?”

Me: “Yep! He bought it all today. It is all paid for and ready to go to Texas!”

Volunteer: *bursting into tears* “This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for us! Oh, my God, this is more than we could ever ask for. I can’t believe this!” *she spots the expensive crates* “And crates?!”

Me: *beaming* “Brand new!”

Volunteer: “This is amazing! I don’t even know what to say!”

(We were all on the verge of tears. The rescue group leaves that Friday and, with all the donations, they are able to save dozens of animals. They bring a lot of them back with them, while handing some off to other rescue groups they work with. When they come back, a volunteer comes over to me with an envelope.)

Volunteer: “When [Regular] comes in next, can you give this to him, please?”

Me: “He’ll actually be in later to pick up his dog. I will be sure to give it to him!”

(Later, when [Regular] came in, I handed him the envelope. He opened it. Inside, every volunteer had signed it and written a message of thanks. There were so many people they had to write on the back, as well! [Regular] was touched, and he told me later that he still has the card sitting on his mantel.)

We’re Not Paying You To Get Cancer!

, , , , , , , | Working | May 9, 2018

(I have been employed by a small charity for years. I have seen many people come and go. One of the worst is a young woman. She is lazy and obviously does not care about doing a good job. I complain to the boss about something she did — or rather, something she didn’t do! — and he sighs and says, “She’s got to go,” but of course nothing is done. One day, a few months in, she goes off sick. She never comes back. She claims FIVE months sick pay and then resigns. A couple of years later, I am diagnosed with cancer. I go to the boss:)

Boss: “I am so sorry to hear that.”

Me: “Thanks. I will work as long as I can, but I have heard that chemo makes you feel worse and worse as you go on, so I will probably have to go completely in about a month.”

(This turns out to be absolutely true.)

Boss: “Okay, take all the time you need.”

Me: “Thanks. How much sick pay will I be entitled to?”

(I have worked there for 16 years by this point.)

Boss: “Two weeks.”

Me: “Two weeks? [Coworker] claimed for five months and only worked here for less than a year.”

Boss: “[Coworker] claiming for five months is why we decided to reduce it to two weeks, so no one can do that to us again.”

(Not only did I only receive two weeks sick pay, I also could not claim any statutory sick pay. I took a hit to my income at the worst time of my life. I only managed to survive because I was so ill I hardly left the house for three months, during that entire cold dark winter, not sick enough to be eligible for any charitable help. AFTER I came back, they decided to change the policy because of how I had suffered, but no back pay was forthcoming! Thanks, [Coworker]! You made a bad situation SO much worse.)

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