Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

Isn’t… Isn’t That The Point?

, , , | Right | May 10, 2022

I was contracted to put together an event to bring awareness to human trafficking. The client was explicit that they wanted “experimental elements” to make attendees “feel the tragedies.”

Me: “How about we fill backpacks with cans of soup or rice and suggest that guests wear them for the entirety of the evening? Once they do, we donate the food in their name to a related charity after the event.”

Client: “Hmm…”

Me: “Or we could give everyone a mask when they check in so as to strip them of their identity. Maybe there could be some sort of penalty when they take them off. Within good taste, of course.”

Client: “All interesting, but I think these ideas make awareness of human trafficking a bit uncomfortable.”

We ended up settling on a PowerPoint presentation followed by cocktails and dinner. 

Don’t Discount The Benefits Of A Discount

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2022

I’m running a cake sale for a charity event; I’ve only been here an hour but am already disgusted by how many people are trying to scam free food out of a charity.

So many people want a discount because they don’t like the flavour or want to “try before they buy.” The cakes are like 50p each and go toward a very good cause.

Customer: “What discount do I get if I buy a load of cakes?”

Me: “Well, you can buy two for the price of two.”

Customer: “Oh, come on, give me some incentive here.”

Me: “Tell you what.” *Hushes my voice* “I will give you 10% off your order if you buy ten or more. But! You need to come back at the end.”

He practically skips away from his amazing negotiation skills.

Friend: “What did you do that for? Don’t encourage him!”

Me: “Oh, please, this guy is at every event. I tell him ‘no’ every time. It doesn’t change a thing. If he comes back at the end and wants to buy all the cakes that would just go into the bin, why not?!”

We get through the day and sales have been a bit disappointing; we just don’t get the people through the doors. Right on time, the man from earlier returns.

Me: “Still hungry? I saved some for you.”

Customer: “Excellent, thank you!”

He buys everything I have left, and I give him the discount and feel pretty happy about what I’ve raised.

Friend: “I can’t believe you!”

Me: “He wasn’t going to buy anything anyway, and look at how much I’ve raised.”

Friend: “I just don’t think you should have done that.”

We looked down at her table; she had half her stuff left but still was resolute in her stance. We ran another charity event a few months later. We both agreed to run a last-orders sale and we sold out of everything!

A Storm In A Teapot

, , , , , | Right | March 14, 2022

We are doing a special promotion on a certain brand of china. Customers can bring in old pieces of china, and for every piece, they will get 50p off a new item. All the old china brought in will go to charity. There have been fliers handed out for a week and large notices all over the shop explaining all this.

A couple comes in with a large box of china items, and we set about counting them, all the while praising the customers for their generosity. There are seventy-two items.

Me: “Wow, you’re certainly going to have a lovely new dinner set! What would you like?”

Customer: “The teapot, please.”

Me: “Good start! What else?”

Customer: “Just the teapot.”

Me: “Oh, how generous! You’ve given all this china to charity, and you’re just getting the teapot, with 50p off! Brilliant!”

I’m suspecting now where this is going.

Customer: “No, we brought in seventy-two items. Seventy-two times 50p is £36, the price of the teapot.”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s only one item against one item.”

Customer: *Swaggering, sneering, hands on hips* “And where, may I ask, does it say that?”

Me: *Pointing at the large print on the bottom of the flyer* “There…”

Customer: *Crumples* “Oh…”

In the end, they bought their teapot with 50p off and a couple of mugs and plates, sorted out what they didn’t want to give to charity after all, and left.

At least they didn’t flounce off.

It’s Not Healthy To Be That Impatient

, , , , , | Right | December 29, 2021

I work as the receptionist for a charity in a specific sector, say mental health. We don’t offer direct mental health support, but rather we do policy and advocacy work around the topic and provide statutory training for workers in the sector. We also have a signposting helpline which gives people needing support the details of organisations who can help them more directly. The charity has existed for a few months longer than I have been alive. It is called something like National Mental Health, and we regularly get calls like this.

Caller: “Hi. [Long, uninterruptable explanation of their problems and situation]. What should I do?”

Me: “Hi. We are a policy and training organisation, so we do not provide direct support, I’m afraid, but what I can do is put you through to our signposting service and they will be able to able to help you find the best organisation to assist you.”

Caller: “But you’re called National Mental Health! Why won’t you help me?”

Me: “Yes, I know it’s a bit confusing but [repetition of previous explanation of the organisation and helpline in different words]. I am the receptionist, so I can’t answer your question, but I can put you through to the helpline.”

Caller: “That’s f****** ridiculous. False advertising! You shouldn’t be allowed to do that! Why are you called National Mental Health if you don’t help with mental health?”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way. I am afraid all I can do to help you get support is to put you through to the helpline. Would you like me to do that?”

Caller: “F*** you!” *Click*

I understand the frustration and I do agree that the charity’s name is misleading, but a) I am the lowest-paid person with the least power in the organisation and b) I was a foetus the size of a strawberry when the organisation was named. What do callers think shouting and swearing at me will achieve?

To Say That’s Giving Is Charitable

, , , , | Right | November 1, 2021

I volunteer for a charity that helps the homeless. We’re not a shelter, since we don’t have the resources for overnight stays, but we are able to provide a place where people can come to have a hot meal and a shower and spend a few hours inside when it’s cold out, and we also help out with contacts to social and healthcare services.

Most of the food we serve is donated from restaurants and grocery stores that give us leftovers and things they can’t sell but are still perfectly good to eat. We also get donations from private citizens, and a few times every year, we have a drive that we coordinate with the local grocery stores. Customers can add some non-perishables like canned food and dry pasta to their order and donate them, and the store matches the donations.

We have a little table set up at the checkout where we collect donations and take notes so the store manager knows how much extra stuff they should give us at the end of the day.

A customer who’s just come into the store spots our table and comes up to us.

Customer: “A homeless charity, huh? That’s great. I always say we ought to help our own homeless before we help foreigners who only come here for handouts, you know?”

I try to keep my expression as neutral as possible, as I recognize this is a popular argument that racists like to throw around as an excuse to deny help for refugees.

Customer: “You know what, I’m going to get you some stuff. You’ll make sure it goes to the real Swedes, right? The ones who need it?”

Me: “We do our best to help anyone who needs it.”

Customer: “So, if I give you stuff, you might give it to some [racist slur for Muslims] who just got here?”

Me: “If they’re homeless and come to us for help, yes.”

The customer walks away looking disappointed. I figure he won’t donate anything. However, a little while later, he comes back, having finished his shopping, and I’m pleasantly surprised. Maybe he was able to overcome his prejudices in order to help someone in need? He hands me a bag holding canned soup and instant ramen packages.

Customer: “Here you go! I made sure to only get stuff with pork in it. That way it won’t go to some [slur]!”

He left, looking very satisfied with himself, and I just silently shook my head over how petty some people can be.

Most of the people we help wouldn’t care one way or another. However, I made sure to note down a polite request to the store manager to match this man’s donation using items WITHOUT pork, just in case. Yep, I can be petty, too.